Trouble
by d0ntlookbackin4nger
Summary: Now, I know this isn't the typical type of My Mad Fat Diary as it's a slightly different AU version. Basically, Finn and Rae are best friends from childhood. They're those friends that always have had that sexual tension - but joked about it instead of taking it seriously. But what happens when Finn offers Rae something she can't refuse... Despite the fact he's with Chloe.
1. Chapter 1

She knew she should've stayed away from him. Yet, she couldn't. She never seemed to be able to anymore, she wanted, needed and craved him. She craved his attention, his touch, everything he possessed and gave to her. He knew that, and she knew he depended on her. Not that he'd ever admit it, it was just his little gestures he did and glances he gave.

He was her best friend's boyfriend, her own boyfriend's best friend, and also best friend from childhood. That was the reason why she was so drawn to him in the first place, he was forbidden and out of bounds. Ever since she was young, she had always wanted what she couldn't have; and now that included him. Another reason is because he was a cocky and controlling arsehole who thought the sun shone out of his arse, a trait she found strangely attractive, a trait that made her attracted to her boyfriend in the first place. But soon, she stripped her boyfriend of every bit of nastiness and changed him. Not on purpose, but she was one of those people who radiated happiness; well once you got to know her.

But covering the radiation of happiness, was a layer of mystery which often attracted others both inc. Boys and girls, eg. Her boyfriend. But now, she was bored of him and wanted excitement and adventure, all in the form of her "other half" as they labelled him.

They were inseparable and identical in personality and mentality, which is why they were each other's match… And not in a good way. They did everything together, have the same friends, the same birthday (except she was a year younger than him, something he never let her forget.) Mended each other's cuts and bruises, went to the same school, applied and now attended the same college… and broke each others heart.

It was a puzzle to him, how and when had he fallen in love with her so quickly? This was supposed to be just a fling, a game. The two made a pact, neither could become attached. But now it was all game over… He loved her more than the moonlight and the stars in the inky coloured sky, more than the sound of fresh leaves crunching beneath his feet in the Autumn mixed with the smell of rain on pavement, more than oversized sweaters, more than music, more than old photos and postcards, old typewriters and more than the smell of a new book.

She had come to love every single thing about him, and he with her, from his charming manner right down the crinkles at the corners of his eyes; that appeared whenever he would laugh too hard. His heart would swell as the days passed, his heart was so full of hope and love for this girl, that he forgot the promise. He forgot to distance himself, he forgot to love himself, and just completely give all his love and his heart to her.

Something that frightened, yet excited him.

They sat in the dimly light bedroom of his two bedroom apartment, well it was a flat; but he liked to call it an apartment as it sounded more sophisticated he often told her, something she always took the piss out of. He sat on his ratted and worn out old ottoman that he inherited from his recently deceased mother who left it in her will in which it was placed at the end of the bed, he wore just simple PJ bottoms and had a cigarette placed carelessly between his two long and slender fingers. He sat with his elbows on his knees, his head slightly downwards and his upper body slightly hunched. She sat on the window seat with nothing but a pair of PJ bottoms and his plaid shirt loosely buttoned up and hugging her frame, she watched his every move intently and carefully as if he were a complete stranger. They sat in silence, the only sound to be heard were his drags and exhales of his cigarette every now and again.

"Thought y' were going to quit". She sarcastically quipped, breaking the silence that hung heavily within the room. "I was, until y' came over". He retorted just as sarcastic with a little scoff before rubbing a small circle on his forehead with his thumb. There was another long silence. Neither of them knew what to say, then again they never did anymore. "We can't keep doing this, Finn". "I know, Rae". He said softly after a short pause, his tone cracking with emotion as he spoke her name; as if it were the last time he would be.

Now, usually when Rae would tell him that this was the last time they would sleep with each other; he'd scoff and shrug it off with a sarcastic comment as he knew she'd come back because she always came back. But now, he knew she meant it and the thought of him losing her more quicker than he expected was now setting in and the feeling made his chest grow tighter with every passing second.

She chewed her bottom lip in worry, not realizing how hard she had bitten because she could suddenly taste the familiar metallic taste. "I don't want to lose ya, Finn". She timidly said, her voice quivered as she tried not to cry. She hated crying, especially in front of Finn as she knew he'd see her as vulnerable and use it to take advantage… Well, so she thought. "And y' won't". He snapped back, still not looking at her. What she asked next completely threw him.

"How do y' know?"

The room grew silent, after a long pause he turned to her with a look she had never seen before in all her eighteen years of knowing him. It was a look of insecurity and vulnerability. Although the room was dim, she could make out the faint glisten of tears brimming his eyes. "I don't know, but what I do is that although ya my best friend's girlfriend, y' still my best friend. Mine, no fucking what and no one will change that. Not him, not Chloe and certainly not me or you. Do y' understand that?" He tried to sound stern but his voice wavered before he roughly wiped two stray tears that travelled down his cheeks. She nodded, he then held out an arm and gestured her over. She took no hesitation into climbing onto the bed beside him, snuggling her head into the crook of his neck, and curled herself into him. He cradled her back with his left arm, carefully trying not to catch her with his cigarette. This, it felt so natural and so right. But, yet they knew it was wrong, even though neither wanted to admit it.

It was moments like this that made the sneaking around and the lying worth it, he made it worth it; as cheesy and toe curling as it sounded. After the long hours of the day that they would spend, pretending; coming back to his or her place at night made it all worth it. Rae let out a sigh, she slipped her arms softly around his torso. He took this as a cue to tighten his hold around her, like a child's safety blanket.

Suddenly, he then remembered why he was here with her in the first place. Once again the realization that he was possibly going to lose her was quickly setting in; something that he hoped wouldn't approach so fast. He tried to swallow the harsh lump in his throat, but it was no use. The walls were getting tighter by the second as his emotions swelled to boiling point; eyes welling uncontrollably. No matter what his mind told him, his heart was winning. It was Rae he loved, it always had been. Unable to fight his feelings any longer, he buried his face into her hair and mumbled "I promise this will be all over soon and then it'll be me and you kid". His voice quivered slightly, he took a deep breath; trying to calm his wave of sadness.

She moved her head from his neck and looked up at him, before whispering "Can I keep ya then?" He slowly looked down at her, his bedside lamp was the only source of light; but it was enough for her to make out the soft smile on his lips and the gentle expression upon his face. He nodded, which caused her to break out into a face eating grin. "And to prove that I mean it, I want to show ya something". He untucked his left arm from around her and held it out; revealing two tattoos around his wrist. Her brow knitted, why on earth was he showing her his tattoos; its not like she hadn't seen them before… "Finn, I've seen them before y'know". He smirked slightly "Look closer at the padlock". She sat up and closely peaked at the small padlock drawn on his arm, just above his wrist. She then grabbed it and pulled it to her face, gasping inwardly. No… That can't be real… He had gotten the keyhole in the shape of an "R".

"Finn I… You… I don't know whether to laugh or cry". He laughed a little "Not the reaction I was hoping for, but at least y' didn't slap me or tell I'm stupid". She scoffed, shocked. "No I… I don't even know how to react, fucking hell". She spoke, slightly dazed. She couldn't believe it, he actually had got a tattoo for her. He actually belonged to her…. Finally. But the thing that shocked Finn the most, was how short they'd been together but yet how easily he'd given her his heart.


	2. Chapter 2

2:

Three months earlier…

"What are y' doing tonight?" Lil Al asked monotonously as his gaze was fixated and his slender fingers worked effortlessly on, what appeared to be, a perfect joint; Rae felt her heart beat slowly begin to increase as his tongue lazily left a slick line of moisture across the seal along the paper. Unaware to him, he was driving her mind and hormones insane. He licked his lips, before sliding his tongue back into his mouth, and studied the creation in his hand. "Lighter", He demanded, holding out his hand to her; eyes fixed on the joint dangling between his index and middle finger.

She did as she was told, watching his thumb flick the switch and the flame tower from the small plastic covered by his palm as he brought it to the twisted end of the joint. Herself and Lil Al lounged and vegged out on the long corner couch that sat in the heart of his and her living room; something the pair were familiar with and accustomed to, she shrugged "Nothing, why?" He took a long drag, sighed with content and sunk back into the couch "Everyone's going down the pub and I've said that we're going so…". He then looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

She knew that was coming, but she half-heartily hoped he would offer a night in, "I dunno, I don't feel in the party mood. I mean, we went out last night can't we just stay in tonight and chill owt?" He scoffed "Yeh, but I promised we'd go". She rolled her eyes, this was his controlling side making an appearance. "What are y' rolling your eyes for?" He questioned, she folded her arms "Nothin'", She retorted, not wanting to start an argument. He glowered "No, go on. What's ye problem now?" She shook her head "It's nothing, will Finn be there?" He rolled his eyes and laughed a little "Yes, ye lover will be there", He jokingly quipped.

Now, although he was joking; it made her stomach flip and shiver throughout her entire body, like a firework in mid-winter and it travelled right down to the most sensitive part of her; a place Finn shouldn't, but knew all too well. She sighed, shrugging all dark thoughts off "What time?" "'Bout 9". She glanced at the clock on the wall '7:54' Ticked back at her. She then swung her legs off the couch and went to leave when he grabbed her wrist, quite roughly too; causing her to wince "Where are y' going?" "To get ready considering it takes half an hour to get there and well it does take me longer than five minutes to get ready, Al". He scoffed and sharply let go of her wrist, he turned his attention to the TV and without giving so much a glance, he snapped "Oh and wear that black dress, makes your arse look nice".

Would she fuck be wearing a dress, only time she ever wore dresses were funerals - and even then it was a struggle. The one thing she disliked, like really disliked, about Al was his constant nagging for her to be more girly. He knew what she was like when he got with her, so, why was he moaning now? The fucking knob. Then again, he accepted her insecurites and made her feel like a princess; so, she couldn't really complain.

She rolled her eyes and gritted her teeth together before storming out, trying to calm down. The only thing that stopped her from smacking that smirk from his annoyingly good-looking face was the fact within the next two hours she'd be drunk, high and possibly in an ecstasy of pleasure.

Rae wasn't drunk but just on the peak of tipsy, giving her that hype and boost that she needed so desperately earlier. The pub was quieter than usual, which was strange. The only punters that were there were the perverted men or the locals as they would be known as, causing Lil Al to close in on Rae and place a protective hand on her back, they scanned the pub for their group… Lil Al spotted the gang, he made eye contact with one of the older boys called Johnny and gave a head nod; in which the older lad rose to his feet and wandered off to the toilets.

Lil Al took hold of Rae's wrist gently and lead her off into the direction where Johnny had just sauntered off to, where their buzz would be that they ached and craved for. Well, they most certainly couldn't get their buzz from just alcohol. But the way she got her buzz, was something Finn disapproved of massively. The thought of Finn being angry with her, put her off. But then the fact that Finn wasn't her boyfriend, and Lil Al was; was the push she needed to direct her to the toilets with him and Johnny. Even with the feeling of those same piercing brown irises, burning into her back.

Finn watched her leave, following Lil Al like a puppet on strings; his fists curling into half moons and digging deep within his palms - his pouter more plump than ever. Finn knew she was here, he knew it from the moment she walked through the door. He could scope her out anywhere within seconds, he could feel her vibe and presence as soon as she stepped foot into whatever room they were in together at the time. He felt like a stalker and weird, but he just knew it was her… He just knew.

But what puzzled him is why she didn't come over, he knew she saw him. So, what stopped her from coming over? Not that he cared, but it would've been nice and polite of her to come over and say hello. Especially since both himself and Rae's best mates were there, probably that control freak Lil Al told her not to. As much as he loved Lil Al, Finn despised the way Lil Al treated Rae. She wasn't a fucking dog that had to be kept on a constant lead, she was human. A beautiful human.

Chloe, Finn's "Other half" And Rae's best friend, clocked onto Finn's moody expression and leaned in, asking, "S'matter with y'?" He slowly took his gaze from Rae, gave Chloe a forced smile, "Nowt, babe. I'm fine", She frowned, not satisfied, "Then why d'ya look like ya've got a mard on?" He couldn't be arsed with her whinging, so he snapped, "I'm fine, alright!? Fucking 'ell", She rolled her eyes, folded her arms and sat back in a sulk; mumbling a 'Dickhead'. Finn scoffed at Chloe, taking a sip of his pint and reaverted his gaze back onto Rae and Al.

What shocked both the gang and Rae next, was as Al and Rae walked past the pool table; Al purposely but sneakily knocked one of the balls. Thinking he got away with it, Al smirked and went to walk into the toilets when "Oi". Al paused and turned, to see that eight big, well filled out men stared back at him as they stood around the table. "What?" Al snapped back. "Y' just knocked one of our balls", The scrawniest, but still well built man spoke. He spoke with a common northern accent. Al scoffed "What are y' on about?" The scrawny one spat back "Don't talk bollocks, y' knocked one of our balls. I saw ya". Al rolled his eyes "I think you're seeing things, mate".

The scrawny one went to advance towards Al, when the tallest pulled him back "Leave it", He eyed Al before he turned back to his friend "He ain't worth it, he's just a kid trying to show off". The scrawny one relaxed slightly, but his glare never left Al; and Al stared back, just as hard. That is, until Rae put her hands on Al's puffed out chest and started pushing Al into the toilets. "Al, just ignore them. They're honestly not worth it". Al glanced from her to the men before grabbing her hand and turning away.

He and Rae went to walk into the toilets, when from behind one of them murmured; but purposely loud enough for Al and her to hear "Fat slag". As everyone watched around them, even the barmaid had come out from the back to have a nose. The whole pub grew silent, as they awaited Al's reaction. Al froze and sharply turned, his cocky smirk transcend into a hard, grim line across his lips, and his eyes turned cold. Now, with Al they could call him any name under the sun. But, as soon as someone brought his family or Rae into it; that was it. That was his line that should never be crossed.

"What the fuck did y' just say?" Al retorted, the biggest out of them all sat with a smirk; knowing he now knew exactly how to push Al. The man laughed a little "Nothing, I think you're hearing things… Mate". The man mocked, the other men around him sniggered; trying to hold in their laughter.

Al took in the man's face and body, trying to find out what he was having to deal with. The man stood at least 6' 2", he had not one single hair on his head, his eyes were a cold blue and because they were blue; they appeared like ice, his jaw was strong and long, his nose was crooked; obviously broken a multitude of times from previous fights, and the thing that stood out the most from his tanned face was that he had a noticeable pastel pink coloured scar that ran from the left side of his forehead to right down his cheek that made him appear intimidating and frightening; well he was to Rae anyway. He either hit the gym six times a week, or was on steroids; he could easily be a bouncer at a nightclub or a professional heavyweight boxer. He wore an old and worn out Chelsea football jersey and ratted, washed out denim jeans, and gleaming white Addidas trainers. Al noted that on the man's left fist was a gold ring on each finger, an obvious substitute for a knuckle duster.

But Al wasn't scared, Al was never scared and it showed; as one minute he was by Rae's side and the next, he was pinning the man up against the wall with a pool cue. The man began roaring with laughter, but not in a nice way. His laughter was cackle with a mixture of menacing and wicked. "Oh, y' think you're a big man do ya? Wanna mess with the big boys?" The man laughed harder, before Al pressed the cue harder to the man's throat. Al had never looked or felt so furious, especially since the man had laughed in his face. "Shut the fuck up, or I'll kill y'. I swear to God", He was so infuriated, he even spat when he spoke.

"Al, what y' doin'?!" Chop shouted, in which Al looked over his shoulder and shouted "Showing this fucker how to keep his mouth shut". Bad mistake, as Al turned around the man then headbutted Al which caused Al to fly onto the pool table with a hard THUD and the man dived onto Al; laying punches so hard, you could feel them and it'd knock you sick. Rae screamed his name, she ran over and tried to pull the man off him; in which he pushed her roughly back and one of his lads grabbed her, which infuriated Finn. Now although Rae was a big girl, her strength was no match for a grown man.

"Arch, take Chloe and Iz outside. I don't want 'em seein' this". Archie nodded at Chop's demand before he went to lead Chloe and Izzy out of the pub, when Chloe piped up, "No fuckin' way am I leaving Rae!" Which was codeword for; "I don't wanna miss out on the drama", Chop looked at Finn, who sighed and snapped at Chloe, not having time for this and ready to pounce on the fucker who was holding back Rae, "Chloe, don't be difficult. Just go yeh?" Chloe then glowered before grabbing her bomber coat and storming out, half-heartidly hoping Finn would chase after her - even though he never usually did Chloe still secretily hoped for an overnight change in him and he'd become one of those clingy twats she was so used to dating; despite the fact clingy wasn't Finn's style. Archie and Izzy gave Finn a sympathetic look, Izzy gave Chop a quick kiss before asking, timid, "Y-Y' sure ya gonna be alright?" Chop gave a reasurring smile and rubbed her back, "Don't worry about me, babe. Just wait outside with Archers, yeh? Don't want ya seeing this", She looked at the growing chaos before back at Chop, sighing with defeat and then leaving with Archie; head bowed. Finn, Chop, and a few other of their friends got up and raced over and soon enough; everyone was fighting with everyone. Johnny had now emeraged from the toilets; joined in and was loving every minute of it, nothing better than a good fight entertained Johnny.

The place was being absolutely destroyed, amongst it all; somehow Rae had gotten out of the man's grip and took shelter underneath one of the tables. She watched with wide eyes, jumping every now and again when the sound of a glass was being smashed. Johnny jumped up on the pool table and screamed "LET'S FUCKING 'AVE IT THEN". Before he dived onto the tallest.

Rae, cowering under the table, scanned the room. It was a sight to see, punches flying, bones breaking, glasses smashes... It was a good ol' pub brawl. Chop grabbed a cue stick off the table, snapped it across his knee and whacked one of the bigger men across the back; who was beating the shit out of Al and knocked the man clean out - giving a chance for Al to breathe and get himself together. He looked a state, if it wasn't for his hair then you wouldn't be able to recognize him; due to the amount of blood and bruising across his face.

Rae scanned the room for Finn, she soon found that familiar messy mop of brown hair. He was laying digs and kicks into the guy who had hold of Rae just before, Finn wore a look she knew all too well. It was his look that meant he was loosing it, he was too lost in the moment to stop. He could end up killing the man if she didn't stop him. He then brought his foot down onto the man's, already bloody, face which created a sickening snap; which was like music to Finn's ears, that did it for Rae, "FINN!" She screamed above the noise, he looked up and stared straight into her eyes. The hairs rose on the back of her neck, his eyes were now like black slits, his brow was knitted together, his lips were in a hard, thin line; beads of sweet glistened on his forehead and blood dripped from his eyebrow and lip. He took in her expression which was enough for him to completely forget about the body that laid crumpled on the floor in pain and race over, pull her out from underneath the table; despite her protests.

He grabbed her by the shoulder of her t-shirt as he grew inpatient with her as she kicked and slapped at him, begging him to let her stay as she couldn't leave Al. As much as Finn would've loved to have thrown her over his shoulder, making it easier, he knew she hated that and would've kicked off even more - throwing her weight down which would've been a slight challenge, even with Finn's strength. She dug her heels in and pulled away, shouting over the chaos, "Finn! We can't leave 'im!" Not having time or the patience for this, he snapped, "Rae, we don't have time. Y' either come with me now, I drag y' or ya get the shit kicked outta y'" She folded her arms, not giving in, "No, Finn!" Finn huffed, dancing on the balls of his feet with so much anger and exccess energy before he then stormed out of the pub, dragging a furious Rae into the car park - suddenly finding a new found strength from the adrenaline.

Once they were outside, their body temperature dropped rapidly - refreshing compared to the suffocating heat from inside. The only noise were their feet against the gravel and the noises of shouts and glasses smashing from inside to be heard. The two came to a halt, glancing around for Archie and the girls, who were nowhere to be seen. He then turned to her, only to receive a slap. He kept his eyes shut, trying to restrain himself from hitting her back "Finn, y' fucking idiot. What the hell are ya doing!? Ya could've been killed!" He said nothing and let her rant, his eyes still closed. She then started pushing him with everything she had in her, but they felt like hamster pushes as she was terribly weak compared to broad and filled out figure.

She then started smacking his chest "And you've left the lads, y' selfish fucking prick!" Soon her smacks became weaker and weaker, before eventually they stopped. He opened his eyes "Ya finished?" She panted before she nodded. It grew silent between the two before she took one look at the pub and tears brimmed her eyes at the thought of Al, laying all crumpled on the floor; guilt trickling from her chest and pooling at her stomach - she should've been in there with her boyfriend, "Al he-" "Will be fine", He sternly reassured her, cutting her off "Now, shut the fuck up cryin'. It's makin' me look bad". He joked, trying to cheer her up. She weakly laughed and sniffed "Fuck off, y' cry more than me". He returned her laughter, before he pulled her into a hug. He placed his hands on the back of her neck and kissed the top of her forehead. She wrapped her arms around his mid-section and buried her face into the crook of his neck, feeling safe compared to five minutes ago. Finn always made her feel safe, a quality of his she always had loved.

He broke the silence and moved away from her "As nice as this is, we need to move. I've got a feeling they'll be comin' out of there any second". He moved forward and held out his hand "C'mon". "But Al-" "He'll be fine, now c'mon". She let out a huff, pushed her stubbornness aside and took in his hand in which they made a fast exit away; heading to fuck knows where.


	3. Chapter 3 - smut

3

Rae and Finn spent most of the night in his flat, drinking the remains of a vodka bottle he found at the back of his fridge and finishing the last joint from his weed box, before she returned home which was around six AM; or stupid o'clock as she called it. She entered her and Al's apartment and shed her Converse at the door, sighing in content as she let her feet breathe. Nothing better.

But soon her relaxed state quickly transcended to worry as she entered the living room, to find it empty. Only his ash tray and half smoked spliff sat on the coffee table, a small surge of panic ran throughout her body. "Al!?" She called out, but there was no answer.

Now, usually when Al didn't return home after a night out then she didn't worry as she'd presume he'd be in a friend's. But, due to last night's events; there was more chance of him being in a hospital bed than a friend's. Or worse… A cold slab in the morgue.

She quickly scampered to the kitchen that was in joint with the dining room and let out a sigh of relief, as she found Al. He was sat at the dinner table, an ice pack to his reddening eye, his shoes and socks underneath his seat, his leather jacket slung carelessly on the back of the chair and his ripped and blood stained white T-shirt on the table. She didn't run over to him, she didn't even move or speak. She stood still, drinking in him. He was alive, she needed a moment to make sure that she wasn't imagining it.

He half smiled and softly spoke "Hi". She scoffed, a small little smile playing on her lips. "When did y' get home?" He shrugged but winced and groaned "'bout half an hour ago, where've y' been?" "Finn's". He laughed a little "What a surprise". She rolled her eyes and shook her head, she then made her way over to him. "Hands". He sighed before slowly and painfully putting out his hands to her, she checked his knuckles over. His knuckles were already swollen and one of them was even busted open. It knocked her sick. She took in his face, dried up patches of blood, one bust lip, split eyebrow and one already forming black eye. She then glanced at his shirtless torso and chest, no cuts and only red patches here and there from punches - some already bruising.

She then let go of his hands and made her way to the kitchen, she went to the cupboard next to the one on the left of the one underneath the sink which sat right in the heart of the kitchen. She rummaged through before she found the first aid kit, slammed the door shut to show her annoyance and made her way over to Al.

"Y' a real fuckin' idiot, Al", "I know", He smiled, "But I'm _**your **_idiot". She rolled her eyes, "A cheesy and sappy idiot, for that matter". He laughed which soon became a groan of pain. She laid open the kit onto the dining table, got everything she needed and then sat beside him. She got out a cotton wool bud and poured a dab of sanitizer onto it before she began cleaning his lip. They said nothing, there was nothing they could say. As soon as she cleaned his lip, she began putting everything back in the box. Still beside him, she then stared into his eyes. There was a long pause, his eyes flickered slowly down to her lips before back into her eyes.

He licked his lips, she bit her lip out of nerves which caused him to tense slightly. Her lip bite was something he could never resist. His hand tenderly cupped her jaw, his thumb gently stroked her cheek. She closed her eyes as soon as his hand touched her face, and let out a sigh of content. She mumbled his name and next she knew he stood up, threw everything off the table, chucking his ice pack, threw her onto the table - forgetting the burning pain that danced over his skin. He climbed on top of her, then wrapped her legs around his waist; he undid he jeans and ripped them off with his boxers, along with her own jeans and underwear before thrusting deeply into her. She let out a gasp of surprise which quickly transcended into moans and whimpers, her hands linking to the back of his neck. He buried his head into her neck, whispering her name. He hissed as her nails dug deeply into his back, her back arched as he drove further into her. He kissed her roughly before burying his face deeper into the crook of her neck as he picked up his pace.

She let out a rather loud moan, his name escaping her lips which only turned him on and urged him to continue. But to enjoy it more, he decided to slow it down along with his pace and to tease her. He slowly but deeply thrusted into her causing the two of them to whimper, obviously she was still adjusting to his length and size which made him smirk. His smirk quickly transcended into a look of concentration as he could feel himself coming to his finish, something he didn't want to happen so soon; but considering he hadn't had sex with her in so long, he obviously had lost his touch of being able to hold it.

He felt her legs wrap tighter around his torso, her heels dig into his back, her toes curl and her breathing become shallow. He lifted his head and bored his eyes into her big, beautiful hazel colored eyes. He pressed his forehead against her's in which she brushed a stray piece of hair away from his forehead that glistened with traces of sweat as his hips continued to ground into her's. She bit her lip and her eyes rolled to the back of her head as her hips bucked into him, he needed her more. He needed her more than ever. He cupped the back of her knee and lifted her leg slightly, taking her from a newer and deeper angle; bringing them closer than ever.

He gently pressed his lips to hers, varying the pressure every now and again from gentle to rough. He could feel her closing in around him "Let go Rae, let go. C'mon". "T-together". She whimpered, he nodded and grunted "Tell me when".

She nodded before he quickened his pace, he kissed along her jawline. He planted soft and delicate kisses, causing her to throw her head back and she ran her hands threw his wave of sex hair. He slowly moved one hand to her clit and slowly dipped one finger in, causing her to let out a moan that transcended to a scream as he then slipped two fingers in, moving in a motion she'd never felt him use before. This mixed with his thrusts sent her into such a high, she thought she was going to pass out - she hadn't realised, but they went on for a good half an hour before she could feel it; and so could he, building to something beautiful, "Al-Al, now". He then quickened his pace one last time before they both let go, their moans echoing in unison within the room before his thrusts became irregular and then he came to a complete stop. The room grew silent, the only sound were their pants. He then rolled off her, letting out a content sigh.

Rae felt his strong arm wrap tightly and gently around her waist and tug her gently into his frame - she cringed slightly at his touch around her tummy area; still not used to it and unable to stop the feeling of disgust with herself. There was a long silence, Rae grew wrapped into her thoughts, it had been so long since they last had sex; she missed it. She missed it being something they enjoyed, not something they felt they both had to do - like a chore. They didn't go completely deprived, a few hand jobs here and there along with him going down on her sometimes, but whenever it came down to the actual sex; the two clammed up and claimed that they were too tired. Rae felt as if she was dirty and no good, treating Al like shit as he wasn't Finn; meaning Al's touches made Rae cringe and not melt. Al's reason being Rae being so off with him, a turn off. Al looked at her, noticing her eyes clouding over in thought in which he then jokingly quipped "Don't think I'll ever eat on here again". She took a moment to register to what he said, before she broke into a fit of hysterics in which he joined; his smile growing larger as he watched her dark thoughts grow smaller in her eyes and plus, her smile and laugh never failed to make his heart flutter and smile.

Al knew of Rae's past, he knew from one drunken night together where she sobbed and told him the sole reason why she cringed whenever he touched certain parts to her or why she always wanted sex in the dark - this being after he drunkenly shouted at her that she didn't love him and was disgusted by him. He loved her so much, so much that his heart tightened whenever he saw her; as if it were just like the first time they'd kissed. See in the beginning, Al and Rae never really thought much of each other; just mutal friends through Finn. But one night, at a house party at Archie's, Al and Rae shared a drunken kiss - and never looked back. He accepted her for everything she was and she accepted him, despite it was Finn she truly and only ever properly loved; she would always have a special place in her heart for Al.

Their laughter died down and the room grew silent, Al then took hold of the hand she had laying across his chest and admired it, turning it side to side. "Your hands are so small, it's so cute". She pulled her hand away and glared "Leave me alone, my hands are normal. They're petite". He rolled his eyes and laughed "Really? I thought it was just plain old short". She smacked his chest "Fuck you". He then glanced down towards his penis, looking at the mess they had created and then back into her eyes and smirked "Looks like y' already did". "Oh ha ha", She quipped sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

He then stared at her, a soft smile creeping upon his lips, "Y' so cute when y' annoyed", "Fuck off", "And sexy". She folded her arms "Shut up". He then climbed on top of her, "An' just overall beautiful". She glowered "I 'ate ya". He then rubbed his nose gently against hers "I love ya, too". He gently kissed her before he then cheekily smirked "Round two?"

The buzz of Monday morning conversation surrounded the college, mixture of complaints about how it was a Monday or the lesson that was first on their timetable. Everybody seemed so dull and grey, the only splash of colour upon the building was the golden sun rays of sunshine that beat unmercifully upon the college and students.

But although it was sunny, it was awfully cold. Typical British weather. The building was long, large and stood tall; proudly set out on a giant field. It was modern, but in desperate need of a paint job. It wasn't exactly a holiday resort, but it got everyone by.

Rae sat on one of the couches in the first year's common room, studying. As usual. Although Rae was a very carefree and chilled out person, she took her work very seriously. Well, she did want to get into UNI after all. Another thing her and Finn shared, the same ambition and they wanted to go to UNI together too. What a surprise.

Now, the common room wasn't big; nor small. It was the perfect size. The colours were a pale blue mixed with navy and white. On the left was a long counter that had a microwave, a kettle and utilities, underneath the counter was a small white fridge and on the wall above the counter; were cupboards. Sat in the heart of the room was four wool and navy blue square couches that all sat in a square manner around a small pile of four pastel blue bean bags. All around the room was a big, long line of computers that had no long been released; the big square box white ones - the shit of '98. Four white, large and beautifully painted French windows sat around the room, two at the front, one on one side and one on the other. Just on the left of the "Kitchen" Was a small TV connect to an Playstation 1 and two white ridiculously comfy looking bean bags. The only let down about the room, was the floor. The floor was glossy, but an ugly-looking grey; but the room made up for the fact the floor was hideous. Considering it was the 90s, the room looked so futuristic; it was well cool.

Rae was so busy concentrating, that she didn't notice that Finn had jumped over the back of the couch and sat down next to her. That is, until she looked up to Finn right in her face; reading her work. She jumped "Fuck's sake, Finn. Wanna get any fuckin' closer?" He laughed and flicked his hair slightly, his untamed fringe now becoming far too long and was in desperate need of a chop "Sorry, I just wanted to see what y' were so interested in". "Oh, it's just some stupid math thing that I haven't got a fucking clue about. Wouldn't mind having a look would y'?" Finn playfully rolled his eyes and took her textbook from her. Now, if it's one thing everyone could agree on that Finn was absolutely brilliant at; it was Maths. He was a genius, something he'd took naturally too. Ever since he was in primary school, he may have been shit at words but give him any equation and he could solve it faster than a slut would drop her knickers.

As Finn became occupied with the equation, Rae scanned his outfit. As per usual. He wore a baggy, plain, white, crew-neck T-shirt that rested underneath a light blue denim jacket that was lined with fur, on his lower half he wore navy blue baggy jeans which he wore with everything and anything and it was finished with some high top white converse - Rae's favourite. How could anyone be so fucking beautiful but yet it still look so bloody effortless was beyond her. Rae then moved to his face, straight to his lips. So, plump and pink, wet… inviting…

"It's 9", His morbid tone mumbled, snapping her out of her daze. She now noticed how close his face was to hers, as he sat sprawled out on the couch; his legs taking up the other half. A typical manly position. "What?" He laughed a little "The answer, it's 9". She then clicked on "Oh, shit yeh! The question", She laughed and shook her head "Thanks. Dunno how I didn't see it before". She said as she took her book back and re-scanned the question. "It's cause I'm smarter than ya, let's be honest". "Fuck off". He then burst out laughing, loving how easy it was to wind her up.

The pair grew silent before they looked at each other, he smirked in which she nudged her shoulder against his "Shut up". He held up his hands "I didn't say anythin'". She rolled her eyes, the two then noted how close they were and the atmosphere changed between them. You know you always have that one friend of the opposite sex where there's an undeniable sexual tension? Well you guess you could say that's what her and Finn's relationship was like. The pair joked about fucking since they first hit puberty approximately 4 years ago when she was 14 and he was 15, but that's all it ever was – a joke. And the two were always fine with it just being that – he always had a girlfriend, and to truth be told Rae had honestly never really considered bringing these jokes to life. Not until recently. Sure, he was hot- incredibly hot for that matter. Everyone, including Rae, knew that. But, lately she noticed how truly attractive this kid was. Well, he wasn't a kid anymore. He was a well built man, and she was now a very beautiful woman. Neither knew when they started to feel this strong attraction towards each other, but they knew that it was there… And it wasn't to go ignored.

"Guys, I am in the middle of a mid-life crisis", Spoke a certain familiar and high pitched voice. "Izzy", Both he and Rae said before their 5' 4" friend came barging over to the couch and dramatically throwing herself down.

Izzy was Finn and Rae's best friend of 10 years, who Finn knew through family and Rae knew through school. She was practically family who Finn saw as a sister, but he couldn't deny that she was absolutely stunning and they'd fucked a few times when they were drunk. But to both of them, it meant nothing. They went through a stage of "friends with benefits" But then Izzy moved from Lincolnshire to Scarborough as her dad had gotten a job down there. But, unfortunately her dad passed a year later and then they moved back down to the town. Although Rae was his girl, he always had a soft spot for Izzy. They fought like brother and sister and flirted like first lovers. It was kind of how Rae and Finn behaved, except he and Izzy weren't in love.

This is how their daily morning routine at college would go, Finn and Rae would chill out in the common room and at around 8:57 Izzy would dramatically bounce in with a problem that she thought was worse than the world ending, then at 9:00 more students would walk in; mainly girls as they knew Finn would be in there. Every girl in college wanted him, and he had his eye on a few - despite being taken. But there'd only be one girl that had his full attention, that was Rae. _His_ Rae in fact.

"What's up now, Titch?" Finn asked, his crows feet deep and prominent as Izzy's stories always cheered his mornings up. If he ever needed a laugh or a good cheering up, Izzy would be the first one he'd go to. "First of all, fuck off. Second of all, I haven't had sex in three weeks and I'm seriously gonna explode with hormones any minute". Finn cocked an eyebrow "Chop? Hasn't 'ad sex for three whole weeks? Bollocks". "No, swear down on me mam's life tha' I'm not. Every time I even speak of wantin' to shag 'im, he just clams up and starts cringin'. I mean, the fuck's wrong with 'im? Is it me? Am I gettin' fat? It's because I'm gettin' fat isn't it?" Finn laughed "No, don't worry. Y' in better shape than ever, somethin' must be up with 'im". "But it's not though, cause we never keep stuff from each other and I've asked 'im is somethin' wrong and all he ever says is either he's tired or just can't be arsed. It's pissin' me right off". She folded her arms, sulking.

Speaking of the devil, Chop entered the common room; a frown on his face and a look of confusion in his eyes. He walked over to Finn; not even acknowledging Izzy - who picked at her cuticles and pretended not to care. "Finn, mate, c-can I talk to ya... In private", He stuttered, glancing nervously at Izzy. Finn nodded, "Yeh, come t' toilets with me as I need a slash", Finn rose to his feet and left with Chop for the boys toilets.

Rae looked over at Izzy, her chest heaved as she took in Izzy's disheartened expression. She couldn't bare to see Izzy cry as it was honestly like looking at a child who'd just grazed her knee, Rae could fucking murder Chop. Rae then frowned, Finn was right; this wasn't like Chop. This wasn't like Chop, at all.

As Finn and Chop made their way to toilets, Chop could feel his feet growing heavier with each step - heart racing as they approached the toilets door. Finn walked in first, Chop on his heels. Finn pulled himself up onto the sides where the sinks were, resting his elbows on his knees as he eyed Chop; who paced. Five minutes went by before Finn grew impatient and snapped; sitting upright, "Y' gonna tell me or wha'?" Chop took a minute before going over to the stalls, looking under to check no one was in before he exhaled; working up the courage.

"I... I..." Chop mumbled, trying to find the words. Finn huffed, rolling his eyes as he jumped off the side, "Look, mate. I love y' and everythin' but if y' just gonna piss about then I may as well go", He went to leave when Chop pulled him back, "No! Wait, wait. Look I'll tell y' just... Promise me y' won't tell no one", Finn rolled his eyes once more, a habit that always annoyed Rae, "Promise me!" Chop urged in which Finn held up his hands, "Alright, fucking 'ell! Promise!" Chop looked at him, torn as to whether to tell him before asking; insecurity laced within his tone, "And promise y' won't laugh?" "Chop what's so ba-" Chop then snapped, stopping Finn short, "Just promise me, knob'ed", Finn then scoffed before running his tonuge against his bottom teeth and then saying as he raised his eyebrows, "Alright, alright. I promise now tell me, what's goin' on?" Chop shut his eyes as he took a deep breath before mumbling something that Finn couldn't quite hear, which caused him to frown and ask, "What?" Chop mumbled, louder but still made no sense, in which Finn snapped, "Mate, can't understand ya", In which Chop then snapped, eyes open;

"I can't get it up!"


	4. Chapter 4 - slight smut

4:

Finn took in Chop's expression, which was dead pan serious, before he doubled over into hysterics, "Y'.. Y' what!?" Finn spoke through laughter, clutching his stomach. Chop frowned, "Oi, it's not fuckin' funny! It's proper serious!" Finn, laughter calming down, stood upright, "Oh, c'mon, mate. Can't be that bad", in which Chop gave him a look, which caused Finn to smirk, "Is it really that bad?" Chop then nodded, sighing. Finn then moved his jaw side to side, unsure of what to say; he was never one for helping out - he was awkward like that.

There was a pause before Chop asked, "Is.. Is it common, d'ya reckon?" Finn nodded, "Yeh! Happens to loads of men, read in some magazine of Chloe's like ages ago about some girl's fella unable to get it up for ages. He had to go the doctor's and they gave him a pill and he was soon alright!" Chop chewed the inside of his cheek before asking, "Mate will y'... Will y' come the doctor's wi' me?" Finn, trying to surpass another smirk and laugh, nodded, "'Course, mate!" He gave Chop a friendly pat on the back, in which Chop beamed, "Aw nice one, man! But listen we can't tell no one, not even Rae", From Finn's look Chop continued, "Well y'know what girls are like! Look, we'll just go the doctor's and see what happens", in which Finn nodded, "Alright, man. Well, listen my first lesson's soon so just ring me later yeh? We'll sort somethin'"

Chop nodded before Finn asked, nodding towards the door, "Y' comin'?" Chop shook his head, "Nah, need a piss. But, I'll catch up yeh?"

Finn nodded and left the toilets, walking back into the common room; to find Al now sitting in his place. He felt slightly annoyed at how Rae had let him take Finn's place, but he pushed it aside taking place where Izzy once sat. Finn propped his feet up on a bean bag and linked his hands across his tummy. "Where's Iz?" Asked Finn with a raised eyebrow, in which Rae piped up, "Toilets", "Fair do's".

Finn took note of how Rae and Al were sat, Al laid across the couch on his back with his head laid upon her lap. Rae had one arm laid across his chest, whilst her other hand was occupied with Al's hair. Finn felt a pang of something he could not quite describe, it most definitely wasn't jealousy; as there was nothing to be jealous of. But it was something strong, something that made him angry and want to storm out; but instead he awkwardly scratched the back of his ear; trying to shrug his anger and thoughts away.

Breaking his thoughts, Al asked "So, what are y' doing tonight man?" "Gotta go see my dad over something, so I'll probably go see him and have a drink with him or somethin'", Finn shrugged as if it weren't bothering him, but in completely honesty; he was a nervous wreck. He always was whenever he had to go see him, and Rae knew that. But she decided to keep quiet.

"What about y' two, another night of adventure?" Al laughed "Nah, definitely not. Shoulder's too sore, I'm gonna be a good boy and stay in tonight". Finn forced a laugh. Rae checked the clock on the wall, to see they had ten minutes before phycology. "Right, it's 9:20, we've got ten minutes to get a move on". Al sighed "I swear, y' always panic about getting there early. Have y' never been late at least once?" She shook her head "And I'm not starting now, now get up". Al huffed playfully as he sat up, all three rose to their feet.

Students began to scatter out the common room, along with Al, Finn and Rae. Just as the three got halfway down the corridor, Al paused "Ah shit, I've forgot me bag. Y' two go and I'll catch up". Rae and Finn then continued to lesson, whilst Al returned to the commons for his bag.

As they continued to walk, Rae noticed Finn was quieter than usual "Finn, are y' alright?" He nodded, not making eye contact. Refusing to, in fact. "Y' sure? Because usually by now ya'd be complaining about how much y' hate Kathryn and the whole subject of phycology and how y' think it's pointless, even though y' picked to study it". He half smiled, but it didn't satisfy her as she continue to press "Is it about tonight, with ye dad?" He nodded "I'm just nervous, that's all". He mumbled. "I know, y' always are. If it makes y' feel better, I'll come with y'". He snapped, "N-no, it's fine. I can handle him myself, I'll be ok. I promise". She folded her arms "Finn".

"Rae", He mocked her tone. She rolled her eyes "Just promise me y'll be ok". He sighed, stopped, stood in front of her and rested his hands on the back of her neck; his eyes boring into hers - earning a few glares from people as they rushed past to get to lesson "I, Finn Patrick Nelson, promise you, Rachael Louise Earl that I'll be fine". Before he kissed her forehead softly, as he pulled away they shared a small smile before he nodded in the direction down the hall "Now, before anyone gets the wrong idea I suggest we go. Don't wanna be late now, do y'?" She scoffed and nudged her shoulder into him; the pair then wandered off to class.

Not realizing Al had been watching from the other end of the corridor, he glared and his teeth gritted together. For Finn's sake, that better had been just a friendly comfort gesture.

But then again, with Finn…

It never was.

College was slower than ever, which Finn was grateful for but soon a wave of nerves crashed over him as soon as the clock hit four. He wasn't meeting his dad till 8, so a pint with the gang in the pub from six till half seven was a definite yes; a snakebite and black would be the perfect thing to calm his ever growing nerves.

It was just getting to half five, Finn and Chloe were in their bedroom - well when it's written as 'their's' It really was Finn's but Chloe stayed there that often, so it may as well have been their's. Chloe was all dressed to the 9s, as per, she wore a cropped, plain black top, light denim high waisted jeans that were rolled up at the bottom, her feet bare as her shoes would be decided later. Chloe stood in front of the body length mirror that was on the inside of Finn's wardrobe, putting mascara on her never ending lashes.

Finn sat on his bed in midst of putting on his Converse, watching Chloe. He couldn't help but smile at Chloe's "Make up" Face. Basically, whenever she would put on mascara her mouth would drop into an 'O' Shape and her face would transform into a gormless expression - resembling a fish, Finn often told her. He couldn't deny that Chloe was stunning, cat like green eyes, soft skin - despite one or two spots - thick strands of golden brown hair that reached just below her waist and always smelt of strawberries, legs that seemed to go on for miles and a pert chest that Finn often loved to kiss and bite. He did love her, but not in the way he loved Rae. He loved Chloe like a friend, he couldn't get past just fancying on a girlfriend level. That's all it was with Chloe; looks, other than that she was boring and annoying. Sure, she could be lovely, caring, funny and understanding when she wanted but most of the time; he wanted to kick her teeth in. If it weren't for her being so good in bed and knowing what the off-side rule was, Finn would've got rid of her a year ago as her and Finn were abeit opposites. Finn didn't completely dislike her as a person, otherwise he wouldn't be with her, it was just one or two faults to her that niggled at his stomach but they were easy to shrug away as he was no Leonardo DiCaprio himself.

"Finn!" He snapped his attention to Chloe, who was now facing him and holding her arms out before throwing them up in annoyance. "Huh?" He asked, dazed. She rolled her eyes before giving him a small but cocky smile aka "The Chloe Smile", as she asked, "I said, what d'ya think?" Now finished putting on his shoes, he rested his elbows on his knees as he slumped forward and shrugged as he looked her up and down "S'nice", She gave him a look, "Nice? That's it?" He frowned, sitting upright, "Yeah, s'nice. Why?" Her shoulders slumped with disappointment before she shook her head and turned back to the mirror, now putting on her lipgloss.

She jumped as she felt his arms slip around her mid section and his chin rest on her shoulder, she hadn't even heard him move off the bed. He sang in her ear, "Chloooeee", As he nipped at her earlobe, in an attempt to win her over; which it always did. This time she stuck her ground, wiping away some excess lip gloss before she mocked, "Whaaat?" "Y' look beautiful, y' always do. Y' don't need to hear me say it every time we go out", She rolled her eyes before putting the lipgloss wand back into the tube and turned to him, her hands resting on his chest and his hands linked together as they rested on the small of her back.

"Look, I'm sorry for bein' so... I dunno... Whingy lately, it's just I 'aven't been feelin' confident lately and I just..." She looked down, in which he gave a sneaky eyeroll; knowing what was coming. She looked back up, crocodile tears fell down her cheeks before she sniffed and laughed a little as she wiped them away on the back of her hand, "Sorry, sorry. I must be doin' y' 'ead in", He gave a small smile, giving her a soft peck on her lips before he rested his forehead on her's, "Chloe, listen to me. Y' look beautiful in anything, y' could wear a fuckin' binbag and I'd still wanna shag y'", She gave a laugh before smiling, satisfied with his words, "I love you", She gave him a soft kiss and he mumbled into her lips, "Y' too", Never being able to say the full sentence.

He then pressed, wanting more; which she happily reciprocated. He then slid his hands to her hips and walked backwards as he lead them both over to the bed, as soon the back of his knees hit the bed; he sat down and pulled her onto him. She straddled him and slid her arms around his neck as his slid around her back and rested at the top of her arse. He reconnected their lips once more, slipping his tonuge into her mouth and nipping at her lip. He felt her heat radiate against the seam of his jeans and his crotch lining tighten. His hand slipped up her back and his fingers just reached her bra, when the phone rang. She went to pull away when he caught her lips and mumbled, "Leave it", "I can't, wha' if it's important?" She then pulled away, climbed off his lap and left.

His penis throbbed against his jeans and he huffed, throwing himself backwards as he felt his pulse race. His thoughts were all jumbled as his hormones took over when a flash of raven hair and hazel eyes corrupted his mind. He shot his eyes open and frowned, where the hell were these thoughts coming from?


	5. Chapter 5

After a few more kisses here and there, Chloe and Finn eventually left the flat; deciding to walk as it was nice out and the pub was only a ten minute walk away - the perks of living in such a small town everything was no more than a twenty minute walk away. The air was nippy but refreshing, the sun almost set and coated in bruise-coloured clouds as it was transcending into almost darkness.

Finn had his arm draped around Chloe's shoulder and her fingers played with his as they walked in blissful silence, the material of Finn's denim jacket rubbed against Chloe's bomber as they walked side-by-side. Apart from Rae, Chloe was the only girl who knew about Finn's dad; which it were no wonder that she asked, "Y' nervous about tonight?" His stomach lurched with a wave of motion sickness as he remembered his meet up later, he shrugged and looked around; avoiding all eye-contact, "Nah, it's only a pint", She rolled her eyes, knowing he wasn't one for talking about feelings and all that malarkey, "Finn", "Wha'?" She sighed, "Look, if y' want I'll come wit' y'", He shook his head, "No, babe. 'onestly, I'll be fine", She let go of his hand and folded her arms, sulking. He rolled his eyes, "Do y' really wanna come?" She nodded, refusing to look at him. He looked at her bottom lip as it fell into a pout, licking his own lips as he resisted the temptation to bite her's; he did love her lips. He knew the real reasons why Chloe wanted to come, it was so he wouldn't get off with any girls and so she didn't miss any drama. Not that he'd get off with other girls, sure, he could be a dick but he was also very loyal and would never dare cheat. He sighed, giving in, "Alright, y' can come but don't like say owt to 'im as he's not really one for talkin'" She smirked as she sarcastically quipped, "Hmm that sounds familiar", Which Finn couldn't help but laugh at.

The pair then fell to silence, before they eventually reached the pub; noting a few drunken punters in the beer garden which meant the pub was full tonight. They headed for inside and saw the gang already at the regular table, Chloe pulled away and bolted ahead; smiling and waving to everyone - whilst Finn trailed behind. The smell of cigarettes, alcohol and faded aftershave wafted around the pub, the buzz of conversation belted loudly and bodies meshed together as the pub was a little overwhelmingly full tonight, Finn grimaced as the latest hit from The Spice Girls boomed from the dukebox - he and Rae were going to have to do something about that later.

**Rae.**

His chest tightened as he weaved in-n-out of the crowd and grew closer and closer to the table, her raven hair and bright smile now in his sight; his thoughts from earlier replayed in his mind and caused him to scowl. Chloe took a seat next to Izzy's left, who sat next to Chop on the long seat, opposite Archie, Al and Rae. Finn's jaw tightened as he noticed the only seat free was in between Rae and Archie, as Al was on the left of Rae and Archie sat on her right but left a space open for Finn as Finn and Rae always sat together. Finn begrudgingly took the seat and heard Rae pipe up as a snakebite and black was placed on a beer mat on the unvarnished table before him, "'ere Finny boy!"

Not looking at her, he mumbled a 'Cheers' And pulled out his pouch of tobacco, filters and skins; chucking them harshly down on the table in a mard. From the corner of his eye, he could see Rae smile but frown at him before turning back to her conversation with Archie; her and Archie's loud laughter boomed throughout the pub. As Finn began making a rollie, he frowned inwardly; he needed to stop being funny with Rae as she'd know something was up and get it out of him. He couldn't tell her, could he? Then again, he could just laugh it off with her as it was only a thought and say it were because he thought she was the one who rung earlier.

He tensed slightly as he felt her finger graze his thigh as she traced, "W-H-A-T-S W-R-O-N-G-?" Holding the open and half filled cigarette papers in one hand, he used his other hand to place a finger on her thigh and trace, "N-O-T-H-I-N-G", He looked up at her, in which she looked at him and raised her eyebrows; not believing him. She then traced, "W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R" And the pair shared a smile before she turned back to her conversation with Archie.

"... I'm just sayin' Parklife shits all over Definitely, Maybe", Chop boomed, in which Finn shot his head up and he and Rae argued, in sync, "Bollocks!" Chop then rolled his eyes, "Knew y' two would say summat but no, right, 'ere me out. Sure, Definitely, Maybe 'as a good few tunes on it but every song on Parklife is a belter!" Rae and Finn rolled their eyes, Finn scoffed; finishing his rollie, "Dunno wha' album y' listening t' but Definitely, Maybe is a classic", Rae then smirked, "Yeh but remember Finn, Chop thinks sneezes are the same as 'avin' an orgasm", Which earned a laugh from everyone bar Chop, who sulked behind his pint as he took a swig before putting it down and saying, "Leave it out, alright! I read it in a text book, swear down", Which caused the gang to laugh even harder.

Finn then placed his finished masterpiece between his lips and searched around his body for a lighter as he said to Chop, "Alright, if y' can get me this textbook and show me then I'll believe y'!" In which Chop extended his hand over the table and Finn took it, the pair shaking hands before Chop sat back and said, "You, pretty boy, are on!"

The night went smoothly and Chloe and Finn departed by half seven, in which the rest of the gang left one another by 9 as they all had college/work the next day and didn't want to get too off it - just tipsy. It was around 5:30 in the morning when Rae and Al heard the phone ring, Al lazily nudged his foot against Rae's and sleepily mumbled into his pillow, something along the lines of; "Go get it, will y' babe?" Rae yawned and stretched as she sat up, wiping the sleep out of her eyes. She threw the covers off her, swung her legs off the bed; leaving the bedroom and heading for the kitchen - her only source of light being the dim glow from the streetlights outside as the sun had yet to rise.

She lifted the phone off it's stand on the wall and yawned out a 'Hello'? "Rae! It-It's Chloe!" Chloe's voice wavered on the other end in panic, Rae felt as if she'd done an eyeball shot of coffee and was suddenly wide awake as she asked, "Chloe? S'the matter?" She heard Chloe sniff before whimpering, "Look, it's Finn. He's- Well, we're in trouble", Rae frowned, "What d'ya mean, y' in trouble?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Chloe", Rae warned, "What d'ya mean?!" She heard Chloe sniff before Chloe wailed, "Look I can't explain it as the pips are gonna go, look can y' get t' The Old Roan pub?" Rae's face fell, "Chloe, that's like fifty minutes away I-" Chloe then whimpered and begged, "Please, Rae. I never ask y' for anythin' but am begging y'", Well that was bullshit, as Chloe always relied on Rae to get her out of shit. Rae then frowned before asking, "'Ang on, the fuck y' doing at The Old Roan?"

_**Six and half hours ago...**_

The Old Roan pub was nothing like The Vaults, a lot more old and grotty. Now, The Vaults may have not been Buckingham Palace; but it was better than this shit hole. The Old Roan pub was sat right in the heart of Nottingham and Finn's dad's local, when Finn's mum had passed just over a year ago; Finn's dad moved down to Nottingham and left without a word - which was a shock to Finn, who was seventeen at the time and had just finished college for the day, to walk in after a long day of lessons and find the house empty with nothing but a key and a poorly written note on of the kitchen unit's. His dad didn't leave him empty handed, he had bought Finn a flat, gave Finn the first two months of rent and knew Finn could support himself as he had a well-payed job down in Finn's mate's uncle's garage - but that was besides the point.

Ever since Finn was a child, he had resented his dad but loved him all the same. From four to eight; Finn saw his dad beat his mum which caused Finn to despise his dad, from ten to fourteen; Finn adored his dad and saw him as this top geezer who all Finn's mates looked up to in adoration, from fourteen to present Finn had mixed opinions on his dad - never knew whether he looked up to him and thought he was a cool man, going with whatever or whether he was a coward who couldn't hold his own. Finn had to admit, his dad was a pretty cool looking man; always wearing these big, suede and "Gangster" Looking coats, haircut like Noel Gallagher's and had music taste that was blessed by angels. To Finn, his dad had this cool attitude to life and went with whatever; when to every on-looker he was a right cunt with not a pot to piss in.

Finn and Chloe sat in a booth at the back of the pub, cut off from everyone else but still had full-view of their surroundings. Finn, leg bouncing with nerves, was building a rollie. Chloe took a sip of her alcopop and scoffed, "Finn, that's your sixth rollie you've made in an hour. Chill out, will y'", He huffed, "Just leave it out, alright. Fuckin' 'ell, don't 'ear me moanin' 'bout y' drinkin' like a fish", In which she snarled, folding her arms and sitting back in a sulk.

He sighed, regret tight within his chest. He placed a hand on her thigh and stroked his thumb gently across it, "Babe, I'm sorry. I'm just nervous", She softened and sat forward, unfolding her arms, "I know, y' are. But it's gonna be alright", Finn gave her a look before scoffing, "Y' don't know me arl fella".

He left a thin line of moisture across the seal of cigarette papers, glancing around the pub as he sealed the rollie; pinching it slightly as he ran his index finger and thumb along the creation, making sure it was perfect. He placed it to his lips and lit it, taking a drag and all tension instantly released from his body. He then caught glimpse of his dad's mop of brown hair - a slight resemblance to Finn's - which caused Finn to jump to his feet and wave at his dad, who didn't notice as he was too busy saying to the other pissheads within the pub. Finn then held his rollie in one hand and used two fingers of his other to whistle his dad over, which caught his attention.

His dad smirked and swagged over, pulling Finn into a rough and manly embrace before the two pulled apart; Finn's dad, also known as "Nelly", ruffled Finn's hair and boomed, "Look at y' ay! All buffed and tall, y've grew since the last time I saw y'" The pair sat down and Finn, suddenly becoming fourteen years old again, gushed, "D'ya reckon?" Nelly nodded, "Yeaaah, man! Especially y' 'air, y' need a trim, son!" Finn, self-consciously, ruffled his hair slightly, "I-I'm gettin' it cut next week", Chloe frowned before she piped up, "Y've only just had it trimmed", Finn then gave her a sly glare before turning back to his dad, "Urm, dad. This is Chloe, my girlfriend and Chloe, this is Nelly and yeah", Finn said awkwardly. Chloe extended her hand in which Nelly caught and, creepily, bought to his lips before smirking, "Enchante", Chloe giggled awkwardly, unsure of how to react, before pulling her hand slowly away.

Finn tensed slightly before coughing to break the look between Chloe and Nelly before asking, "So, how've y' been then, dad?" Nelly shrugged, "Ah, y'know me, son. I'm sound, 'ow's back down there? Is it still a shite hole?" Finn then frowned, "It ain't tha' bad", He defended, it may have been a shite hole but it was still his home. Nelly then scoffed, "Oh c'mon, son. Don't bullshit me, why'd y' think I left?" That shut Finn up.

A minute or two of tense silence passed before Chloe piped up, "So! What did everyone think of Eastender's last night?" Which earned a frown and look of disbelief from both men, the likeness in their features was uncanny.

After a few pints and a couple games of pool, it was closing time. And not wanting Finn to drive due to his drunken state, Nelly offered for the pair to stay the night. Finn was expecting a cosy and warm victorian house in the posher part to Nottingham, when he was greeted to a cold, crack den looking two bedroom house in a council estate - which was no surprise to Chloe.

It was just past five in the morning and the three sat in the living room, Chloe and Finn snuggled down on the big couch; whilst Nelly slumped on an old and ratted armchair in the corner, downing half a bottle of whisky. Like father, like son, both lads were far past tipsy and Chloe was sober as a badger; keeping her wits about her.

The only light came from the TV, illuminating the poorly decorated living room. But that didn't stop the feeling of eyes burning on Chloe, she felt itchy and an urge to go scrub herself in the shower; until her skin was red raw - Finn, oblvious to his father's hungry stare as he watched an episode of 'Black Adder' On VHS whilst drinking from a can of Carlsberg.

Nelly, not taking his eyes off Chloe, stumbled to his feet and mumbled something about needing another drink as he'd just finished off his bottle of Jack Daniels. Nelly stumbled out the room, almost face planting the floor in the proccess, which earned a laugh from Finn and a grimace from Chloe. Once Nelly was out of ear shot, Chloe then asked, "Finn", Finn mumbled a 'hmm?' Whilst stroking her arm; showing he was paying attention.

"Y' don't really believe what he was sayin' before d'ya?" This being in referral to Nelly promising that he had big things on the way for him and Finn, plans that involved Finn coming to live with him in some big farm house and "Away from it all", Which Chloe saw right through - but sadly, Finn didn't and lapped it up. Finn frowned as he looked at her, shocked that she dare question it, "Yeh! Course, I do! Why?" She sighed, trying to place her words carefully, "It's just... Well, seriously? I mean, Finn, 'ow many times 'as he promised y' all kinds and let y' down?" Finn snarled, "Yeh, well it's different this time!" "'ow?" He huffed, shifting in his seat slightly, "Just is, alright! Look, I know he's let me down loads before. But this time, it's gonna 'appen. I just know it is", "But Finn I'm just sayi-" He sat up, taking his arm from around her, "Look, I know y' "Just sayin'" But listen to me when I say that he's a changed man, Chlo and once he's got this new job, I'm gonna come live down 'ere with him and we're gonna get this big house and-" She folded her arms, cocked an eyebrow, "Live 'appily ever after?" He scowled at her, Oh piss off, Chloe", She then placed a gentle hand on his back as she softened, he rested his arms on his elbows as he sat forward in a sulk. "Look, Finn, I know y' don't wanna 'ear it but just... Be careful, yeh? I know y' love 'im an all but take it with a pinch of salt", "Y'know wha'? Y're all the same, all fuckin' judging 'im and not even givin' 'im a chance", She rolled her eyes, knowing she wasn't going to get any sense out of him tonight. She then sighed, "Just be careful", She then rose to her feet, "Where's the toilet?" He stared at the floor, a million thoughts glazing over his stare before he mumbled, "First door on the left",

And with that, she left Finn and his thoughts alone.

Chloe washed her hands and wiped the exccess driplets on her jeans before taking a deep breath and leaving the bathroom, jumping slightly as she was greeted by a smirking Nelly; her skin instantly feeling itchy once more, "Oh s-sorry, didn't know y' were there", She went to walk away when he called out softly, "He loves y', y'know", She froze and turned, but Nelly kept his back to her, "Wha'?" She said with a frown, she heard him scoff before he then turned, leaning sidewards against the wall with his foot hooked behind his ankle and then he looked her, like _**really **_looked at her and it sent a chill dancing down her spine, "Finn, he loves y'", She scoffed, "Yeh, I know and I love 'im", It was his turn to scoff, he rubbed his chin as he stared to his left before he looked back at her and swaggered over to her.

He backed her into a wall and rested one arm above her head, trapping her. Her stomach lurched as she could smell the beer and soft mints linger on his breath and slither into her senses, "Y' listen to me and y' listen to me good, now my Finn, he ain't the brightest of lads and I know y' more clever than what y' let off and well, I know y' only gonna break 'is 'eart", Chloe then snapped, "Is there a point to this?" He scoffed, "Well, I'm just sayin' he's _**my **_lad and I don't want y' hurtin' 'im an-" Chloe then butted in, her voice like venom, "Oh, so is tha' why y've been eyein' me up all night is it?" Nelly smirked, twirling a strand of Chloe's hair between his fingers, "Well, y' are a beautiful lookin' girl and well, me bedroom is just down there, sweetheart", Chloe scoffed, looking to her left before she leaned in and mumbled seductively in his ear, "I wouldn't go near y' crayola dick, even if it were made of puppies, _**sweetheart**_", Before she pulled back, pushing past him and down the stairs.

Chloe entered the living room, her legs feeling wobbily and weak. Finn looked up and frowned, "Y' alright, babe? Y' look like y've seen a ghost", "Finn y' da-" Chloe was cut off by loud and boisterious knocks on the front door, followed by Nelly's bolting it down the stairs to halfway. Nelly saw a dark figure looming through the frosted glass and he mumbled, "Shit". He looked at Chloe and Finn through the door that connected the living room to the hallway, "Right, Finn, listen t' me. Y' gonna 'ave t' go", Finn frowned, sitting upright, "Wha'? Why?" Another few loud knocks were to be heard, Nelly then snapped, "Finn, just for once, get it through y' thick fuckin' skull and listen t' me. Now, get out", Finn swung his legs off the couch and stood his feet, dropping his beer can with anger before he walked over to the banister, "No, y'know wha', y' not gettin' out this one. Tell me wha' is goin' on!" Nelly went to respond, when the front door was booted in.

Finn took no chances, turned back into the living room, grabbed Chloe by the hand and bolted out and straight through to the kitchen; running over to the back door as he knew exactly who those men were and knew this proccedure far too well from past experiance. He swung the door open and dragged Chloe down the back garden and to the gate. He rattled the gate furiously before slamming his fist down against and turning to Chloe, "It's locked", She went to respond when she was cut off by a glass smashing from inside, Finn tensed before bending down on one knee and looking up at her, "C'mon, I'll give y' a boost over the fence", Chloe looked up at the fence before looking back down at Finn, "Y've got no fuckin' chance, especially in these jeans", Finn didn't have time for this, he snapped, "Chloe, please. This isn't the time, now, c'mon", She sighed, torn, before she hoisted herself onto Finn's knee, "Tha's it, now climb ont' me shoulder and pull y'self up", And she did so.

She sat with legs on either side of the wall, glancing down the other side; seeing it wasn't that far of a drop. She then turned to Finn with a frown, who was now stood and looking up at her, "'ang on, 'ow are y' gonna get up?" Finn sighed before extending an arm and resting his hand on her leg as he looked up at her, "Y've got money right?" She nodded, "Yeh, why?" "Right, there's phonebox outside the pub and wha' I need y' t' do is, go and phone Rae. Get 'er to come pick y' up", "Wha'? Where y' goin'?" She then clicked on as she took in his face and she felt her stomach drop, "Finn, y' not seriously going back in there?" His face fell, "Chlo, I can't leave 'im. He's me dad", Chloe went to shout at him when a loud wave of chaos came from inside. Both Chloe and Finn turned their attention to the source of the noise before back at each other, Finn, now on edge, fidgeted and danced on the balls of his feet; eager to get back inside, "Right, Chloe. Go and phone Rae, alright? It's gonna be ok, I promise", "But Finn I-" He then pressed as he begged her, backing up the garden, "Please, Chlo. I need y' t' this for me", She then nodded, "Ok, I love y'", He smiled, "Y' too", Before he turned and headed inside.

She stared at the back door of the house before carefully swivelling around, taking a deep breath before jumping down; a shot of pain jolted through her body. She winced, checking her limbs were in tact before she began to walk, hugging her frame; when she realised she didn't have her coat. She paused, shutting her eyes and letting out a, "Shit!" Before reopening her eyes and continuing the walk, the sounds of shouts and glasses smashing burning into her brain.

"'Ang on, the fuck y' doing at The Old Roan?" Boomed Rae through the receiver. It had taken Chloe a good ten minute walk before she was back outside the pub, where she was now in the phonebox and on the phone to Rae, "Look, I'll explain later. Can y' just please come get me?" She heard Rae sigh, a moment past and she licked her lips nervously before Rae then spoke with defeat, "I'll be there as soon as I can", Chloe beamed, letting out a choked but happy sob, "Thank y', Rae. Thank y' so much I-" Chloe was then cut off by bleeping and the line going dead. Chloe then slammed the receiver down and screamed, "Fuck's sake!" She then rested her head against the phone, wanting to just close her eyes and be back at home; all snug and asleep with her fluffy slippers and Percy the Pug teddy.

Chloe then left the phone box and walked over to a small wall that was sat just outside the carpark of the pub, she crossed one leg over the other and folded her arms; an attempt to protect her tiny frame from the cold. She let out a yawn and shiver, her breath coming out in a little cloud before her. The streetlights and silence to be her only friend within that moment. She then felt it, small but wet on her nose. She then frowned as she looked towards the murky-looking sky, feeling another droplet of wet drip onto her cheek. It then clicked and her face fell with sadness as she lowered her head back to her surroundings as she felt another drop on her head and then slowly it grew to three drops, then ten and soon enough; a shower of rain bounced off the ground and soaked Chloe the skin. She then threw up her arms, "Oh tha's just great! Is there anythin' else y' wanna throw at me!?" Big mistake as a clap of thunder roared through the skies and Chloe stuck her middle finger up to the sky, "Yeh, fuck y' too!"

The rain had now stopped and it was just gone 6 when Rae turned up in Al's little old and dirty white banger, the headlights washed over Chloe as Rae pulled up in front of her. Chloe took no chances into jumping to her feet and moving around to the passenger's side, climbing and slamming the door shut; relaxing into her seat as warmth wrapped around her.

Rae took a moment, staring in her horror in typical Rae fashion before belting, "Wha' the fuck 'as 'appened t' y'!?"


	7. Chapter 7 - Chloe's part 1

"Wha' the fuck 'as 'appened t' y'!?" Rae gasped, in which Chloe looked out the window and whimpered, "Nothin'", Rae sat back before glaring at Chloe and over expressing in her typical Rae fashion, "Don't look like nothin'! And where's Finn?" Chloe then sharply looked at Rae, tears wetting her cheeks, "I said nothin', Rae! Can y' leave it and just take me 'ome!?" There was a pause before Rae put the car in reverse, backed it up and then put it in drive and began the journey. Chloe sunk back into her seat, looking out the window, watching the passing scenery and wiping away her tears furiously.

A silence fell between the girls, only the sound of The Smiths lulled throughout the car; one of the many tracks on a mixtape Finn made Rae for her 18th. Rae smiled to herself at the memory, how happy he was to have made her it and give her it; despite Chloe throwing a tiff and getting a mard on.

For the car journey home, the girls drove in silence; that is, until they were outside Chloe's. Rae brought the car to a stop and turned to Chloe, "Are y' gonna tell me wha' 'appened or?" Chloe huffed and shook her head, "I can't", Rae then pressed, "Why? I mean it's obviously summat bad if y've come out lookin' like a drowned rat and Finn nowhere to be seen... 'Ave y' two 'ad a fight?" Chloe then snapped her gaze to Rae and glowered, "Are y' deaf, Rae!? I said it's nothin'", Rae scoffed, finding Chloe unbelievable, "Oh this is just typical", Chloe then frowned, "S'tha' supposed t' mean?" Rae shook her head, "Nowt, forget it", Chloe folded her arms, pressing, "No, go on", "I just mean well, I drive all the way t' Nottingham for y' and y'don't even tell me what's gone on or why y' were there!" Chloe then softened, unfolding her arms and placing her hands in her lap; looking down at them as she picked at her cuticles, "I can't tell y', babe", Rae rolled her eyes, "Whatever", Chloe scoffed and looked out the car window, shaking her head before looking at Rae, "Look I'll ring y' later, yeh?" Rae stayed silent. Chloe waited a moment before climbing out the car and slamming the door after her.

Rae's grip tightened around the steering wheel as the more she grew angry, this was typical Chloe; always relying on Rae to get her out of shit, Rae pulls threw and then Chloe has the nerve to get angry with Rae, not even thanking her. Chloe had always been like that, ever since the pair were little. Chloe always looked out for number 1 and always had her guard up, and Rae always thought it was because she was just a big ol' bitch; when in reality, there was a lot more to Chloe than she let on...

There's always that saying of "Nature versus nurture", the argument of how you were raised versus how you are naturally, is the reason you are today. The whole 'You were born that way' To being pegged as the reason you are, the way you are is total bullshit. It is completely down to your enviroment and how you were raised from birth till this very day and age. Your up bringing is the reason behind your temper, your quirks and kinks, and your manners; along with everything in between. For example, you're not born a racist; you're raised to be one... Well, depending on your enviroment. Nobody is born with a hateful bone in their body. If you sat down an Asian baby, a dark skinned baby and a white baby, never in a million years would you expect any of those children to push another away or hurt one another purely because their skin tone... So, the whole 'Racism is just in their blood' Is a big load of bullshit.

Your up bringing is the reason why you are, the way you are - right up until you're an adult in which your life is then in your own hands. It is a rare occurance for a child to have a brilliant childhood, but then a shit adulthood; e.g. Alcoholism, drug abuser, prostitute, etc. There'd be no chance that, say, the daughter of a lawyer would suddenly becoming a drugged up waste of space as soon as she turned eighteen. Or, the son of a doctor; who was raised in the most perfect manner would suddenly become a racist with a skinhead. And it's as simple as that.

So, it was no surprise Chloe was the way she was; a bit of a slapper with a mother who had a track record with men and drugs - plus an abusive father.

Chloe Ann Harris, eighteen and a beauty of a woman. She was naturally pretty, but constantly wore a heavy layer of make-up. Natural brunette, that, her teeth and her tits were the only natural thing about her; everything else fake, right down to her perfectly curved eyelashes. She looked like neither of her parents, more beautiful than they could ever be. She was slim, tall and looked like something from Nuts magazine; all tits and teeth. She was a born and raised Stamford baby. She wasn't dumb, like people often thought; but if twirling her hair and asking what the capital of England was got her free drinks and a decent shag then call her thick as a doormat for all she cared. Chloe could be clever when she wanted to be, having boys eating out of the palm of her hand within the first half an hour; well her cleavage helping just a bit. You would never guess by that confident smirk or by the swaying of her hips as she walked by, that Chloe felt so empty; a void of emotion. She was a dark abyss that nobody wanted to venture down in fear of loosing themselves too. Chloe didn't know when she'd become the way she were, but she knew she was far too deep in dick to go back now.

As soon as Chloe stepped into her home that morning, she was greeted by warmth and shouting. She stopped at the doorway of the living room, where her little six year old sister, Janie, sat; watching Ed, Edd and Eddy. She then turned her gaze to the kitchen door where her mum stormed out of, grabbing her jacket off the coat hooks and shouting over her shoulder, "Fuck off, y' fat and ugly bastard. I'm off, so go fuck y'self!" Her mum then stormed out of the house, slamming the door with as much force as she could; a few pictures on the wall shook slightly.

Chloe then sighed, bored of this. She slipped off her Dr. Martens and chucked them with the other pile of shoes, before making her way through to the kitchen; where her dad sat at the dining table, cutting up and snorting a line of God-knows-what. She made her way over to the fridge, getting out a carton of milk. Over his shoulder, her dad asked, "Good night?" She took a swig of milk before putting it back and slamming the fridge door shut, "S'alright, I suppose", They then said nothing as he lit a spliff and took a drag, exhaling and letting out a relaxed sigh as he leaned back in his chair, "C'mere", He beckoned her with a click of his fingers. She rolled her eyes but did what she was told. She wasn't scared of her dad, as they had this weird, loving bond going on. She picked her dad over her mum, even though her dad was a waste of space, no good, woman beater.

"Wha'?" She snapped, he smiled lazily at her and handed over a twenty, "Go buy y'self somethin' nice", She then gave him a small smile and kissed his cheek, in which he swatted her away, "Get outta y', don't do that shit", She then rolled her eyes and left the kitchen, walked through the hallway and upstairs; to her bedroom. She shut her door behind her and leaned herself against it; exhaling as if she'd been holding her breath for the past hour. She then threw the twenty pound note onto her chest of drawers and looked around her room, unsure of what to do with herself.

Now, you probably think Chloe lived in some scruffed up, council estate, shit-hole of a house? Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Chloe lived in one of the poshest, most tidiest and prim townhouses in the whole of Stamford. Her dad may have been a waste of space to some, but to other he was one of the most respected dealers throughout the town; not that her friends knew. No, they couldn't and wouldn't ever find out that little skeleton.

Chloe peeled off her damp top and jeans, scrunching them into a ball and chucked it into her washing basket, pulling out some fresh PJs from her chest of drawers and chucking them on; feeling normal and safe compared to five minutes ago. Her bedroom was her comfort-zone, a place where she could be that scared little girl that lived inside of her. She flicked on her telly and popped 'Sixteen Candles' Into the video player. She then crawled under her covers and snuggled down.

Just as she got comfy, she heard her bedroom door creak open and two little feet padding against the carpet. She was greeted by two huge green eyes. Chloe sighed before forcing a smile at Janie, who was currently sucking on her thumb, "What, J?" Janie then said nothing but tugged on Chloe's floral bed covers. Chloe inwardly groaned but slid aside, making room for her little sister. Janie crawled in beside her and they snuggled down together. Chloe, without realising, began stroking Janie's hair; out of habit. Chloe then grew wrapped in her thoughts, when Finn crossed her mind and her stomach flipped; she'd have to go round later to see if he was home. She then shifted her head to her right and glanced over to her calander that hung up upon her wall; to see she had a doctor's appointment at three today. She sighed before turning her gaze back to the TV and went to drift off when her eyes shot open as a thought crossed her mind;

What was she going to wear?

It was around two when she decided to get herself and Janie dressed, she saw she had enough time to take Janie for some sweets, walk through the park together and still had enough time to go the doctor's. Once her and Janie had been the Woolworth's round the corner, they made their way through to the park. Her and Janie were both chomping on a bag of pic-n-mix each when Chloe asked, "'ow's school been then, J?" Janie shrugged, speaking through a lisp and a mouthful of sugar, "S'alright, I 'ave a boyfriend now!" Chloe raised her eyebrows, speaking in that fake shock tone that everyone always uses with children, "Really!? Wha's 'is name?" "Thomas", Chloe nodded, taking it in, "Thomas? S'nice name! D'ya love 'im?" Janie giggled, "Don't be silly, boys are too yacky to love!" Chloe laughed, "Y' not wrong there, bab".

The two fell to a silence when, "Chloe!" Was called from behind, Chloe and Janie turned to see Archie, on his afternoon jog, jogging towards them; slowing down as he reached them and his words coming out breathless, "Y'alright?" Chloe then smiled, "Yeh, just taking me little sister out for the day. Just been to woolies, ain't we, J?" Janie nodded, happily chewing on a cola bottle sweet that was almost bigger than her face. Archie smiled and laughed at her before looking back at Chloe, who asked, "So, what time did y' get 'ome last night?" Archie wiped the light traces of sweat from his forehead as he thought about it before saying, "I think about half nine, ten as I had a lesson this morning, so", "Ah right, fair enough. Well, look, Arch. I can't stay and chat as we've gotta run, but I'll see y' later or summat yeh?" Archie nodded and went to say his goodbye but Chloe then turned, taking Janie by the hand and dragging her off; leaving a confused Archie.

Chloe got to her appointment ten minutes early, meaning she had time to check in, chill out in the waiting room and leave Janie to play with the toys in the kids area. Chloe tapped her foot anxiously as time grew on, it seemed as if more babies than sick patients were in the waiting room today, the grey and vomit green, standard waiting room. Janie played happily with a little girl of five or four in the small children's area.

A pregnant woman sat, picking at her cuticles, a baby screamed hysterically in it's pram and the clock ticked away as it hung up on the wall. But the more Chloe tuned into the sounds, the more they grew louder and the more her chest grew tight; that is until, "Chloe Harris?" Spoke a nurse.

Chloe rose to her feet, telling Janie to wait there and she'll be back in a minute; before following the nurse.

"Well, we've got your results in and you're not pregnant", Spoke Chloe's doctor, a slim and middle-aged woman, who was looking over Chloe's sheet of test results as she sat behind her desk. Chloe felt as if all tension left her body and her shoulder slumped in relief, "Oh thank God", "But, we did find something", Chloe then frowned, "Wha'?" The doctor then sighed, unsure of how to word it, "We found that you have, the medical term being and what we call, premature menopause", She said, placing a box of kleenex on her desk and in front of Chloe, who cocked an eyebrow at them and the doctor, "So, wha's tha' mean? I don't have periods anymore?"

"Well, it's a bit more to that, Chloe. In other words, you're infertile", Chloe's chest tightened, glancing from her left as she took in the words before back at her doctor and she spoke softly as her voice cracked, "Are y' sayin' I can't 'ave kids?" The doctor gave Chloe her best sympathetic look before saying, "I'm so very sorry Chloe and I know this must be very..." The doctor's words now fuzzy and as if on mute as they went in one of Chloe's ears and out the other.

Now, Chloe didn't want kids; well not now and she never really thought about ever having them - but the fact it was now completely off the cards for her, made Chloe feel something that only could only resemble loss and mourning.

But then, how could she mourn over something she never had?

Chloe's hands shook as she placed her key into the lock, letting herself in to the block of flats where Finn lived; him giving her, her own key just over two months ago. Her and Janie made their way through and up the flat stairs, Chloe's legs growing weaker with each step. One her and Janie reached the floor of Finn's flat door, they walked up to it and stopped; Chloe took a deep breath before unlocking the door and making their way inside to be greeted by, surprisingly, the sound of the TV and the smell of bacon.

They stepped inside, Chloe shutting the door after them both and calling out, "Finn?!" And felt a boost of happiness as she heard him call back, "Kitchen!" She then turned to Janie, "J, go watch telly and I'll be in, in a minute", Janie did what she was told, racing ahead and through to the living room.

Chloe took out her tests results from the back pocket of her jeans, the paper shaking slightly as her hands trembled with nerves. She took a deep breath before making her way through to the kitchen, where Finn sat at the table and eating a bacon sandwich. He wore nothing but pyjama bottoms, revealing his bruised chest and torso. His face was worse for wear, a bust lip, a split eyebrow and his left eye swollen and bruised - causing Chloe's chest to tighten.

He said nothing, didn't even give her a smile; too ashamed to face her. So, he just sat in silence and continued to eat his sandwich. Chloe made her way over, pulled out a chair and took a seat; folding her arms and sitting with a face on. A moment or two passed before he asked through a mouthful of bread, pig and brown sauce, "Did y' go the doctor's?" She nodded, snapping, "Yep", "And?" He asked, with raised eyebrows, "Not pregnant", She snapped, again. In which he let out a sigh of relief, forcing a smile, "Well thank fuck for that", He joked, giving an awkward laugh.

Something twitched at her chest, which caused tears to spring to her eyes before she laughed, but not in a nice manner and leaning more towards sarcastic, "Yeh, fuckin' fantasic. No kids, fuckin' great!" She then slammed down her test results on the table, causing Finn to jump slightly, before she then roared in his face, "Well y'll be fuckin' ecstatic to know tha' I can't 'ave kids, ever", She then rose to her feet, pushing her chair out, "Now, I've gotta go and take Janie 'ome. See y' later yeh?" He said nothing, still staring at the piece of paper before him. She scoffed, shaking her head before turning and storming out; heading for the living room.

He stayed still, jumping slightly when he heard the front door open and slam shut. He then picked up the paper and read it over, before exhaling as he sat back; running a hand over his face as he exclaimed, "Shit".

Chloe wasn't in the mood for staying at home, so as soon as she dropped Janie off; she took no time into making her way round to Al and Rae's. As soon as Rae opened the front door, Chloe fell to bits before sobbing, "I know y' must hate me right now but I need y' Rae as I've really fucked up this time", Rae said nothing and stepped aside, letting Chloe through.

No matter how bad Chloe treated Rae, Rae always took her back; but she was a good person and Chloe was her best friend. Although her and Rae were always in a tiff over something, they knew they could depend on each other because they loved each other and it was as simple as that.


	8. Chapter 8 - Rae's part 1

**R**achael Louise Earl, born and raised in Stamford, Lincolnshire. She was now eighteen and still hated the place - forever moaning about how boring it was to her mum and boyfriend. Now although Rae was a loud and bright girl, she wasn't the most popular of girls but she wasn't completely friendless. She had three or four close friends, and two best friends - plus books. She preferred books to people. She'd rather watch and read about people than actually be one. Rae went throughout school a walking target, her mouth and loud aura always an attraction for bullies. Rae tried her best to get along with everyone, but was nowhere near popular; having just the right amount of friends she needed to get her through her school years. Standing at a booming height of 5ft8, she carried a voluptuous

frame. Now, Rae wasn't the skinniest of people but she had killer curves and her height made her pull it off better than most women could. She had the body of a real woman, sure she was doughy in some parts - but she was how a real woman looked. Her legs and waist were the only bits she liked as they were thinner than the rest of her, she hated her boobs as they were huge and made her look bigger than she was. She was pretty, that kind of pretty that didn't need any heavy make-up and it was often over-looked because it wasn't everyone's idea of beautiful. But she was beautiful, not with just looks but with her mind. Rae saw the good in everybody and never saw flaws, too nice for her own good - which often made her a walk-over. She had a good head of raven black that complimented a pair of puppy-dog brown eyes. By all means she wasn't one of those girls who thought they were ugly but then turns out they look like Megan Fox - like in most books.

Rae was a pretty, talkative, bubbily, smart, loud and happy eighteen-year-old.

So, when did she start feeling so sad? Rae couldn't pin point it exactly, but it had been for a while. But she could never figure out why. She had a loving mother, a healthy relationship, a nice house, endless amounts of books and a good little group of friends who supported her and listened to her. She didn't know exactly when she woke up feeling that same guilt and dread she'd feel, that type of guilt and dread you feel after you've been on a night out and fear what you did when you woke up the next morning. But she knew it had been for a while as she was used to it - and you only get used to something if it's been there long enough. Rae didn't label herself as depressed, as she had nothing to be depressed about. She had both her parents, money, books and friends. She went to Stamford college, doing Drama - something she always loved - and her mum gave her money whenever she asked or needed it.

Like it was said, there was absolutley nothing Rae could be depressed about. To be fairly honest, she had a bloody good life. Never had a broken heart, never had a major loss in the family, etc. But she knew there was something wrong, you can't just wake up one morning and have a sudden urge to jump off a building. The thoughts and voices she often experienced couldn't have been normal either - what person do you know has to turn the iron off eight times otherwise they think their mum will die? But she didn't want to worry her mum, especially after the "accident", as she knew the way she were was just temporary and was just a phase, an aftermath after being in the mental hospital...

At least she hoped.

Before Chloe came round that late afternoon, Rae was in her weekly therapy session with Kester. He sat with that same old, eye reaching and knowing smile - but it was also hinted with sadness as today was one of Rae's final sessions with Kester as he was an adolescent therapist and he'd kept Rae on longer than they allowed.

"So, you nervous about movin' onto adult services?" Asked Kester, cocking an eyebrow. Rae sighed and shrugged, "Dunno, ain't really though' about it; to be honest", Kester nodding, taking it in before asking, "And how've you been feeling overall? How's Al, how's that going?" Rae didn't smile but her eyes glinted with that shame sheer childish happiness that Kester once felt for his, now divorced, wife, "S'goin' good, 'appiest I've felt in a long time", "And how've your thoughts been?" She shifted slightly, growing uncomfortable with the topic, "S'been ok, some days better than the others but they ain't been too bad", Kester nodded once more before asking, "And 'ow's Finn, he still with Chloe?" Rae nodded, "Yeh, still arguin' and then suckin' face off each other within the space of five minutes", Which earned a grin from Kester, "Nothing new there then", Rae couldn't help but give a smirk.

A moment passed and Rae thought over the tiff she had with Chloe earlier and driving to Nottingham, etc. Could she tell Kester that? Rae, not making eye contact, frowned as she asked, "Y'know the way y' said I can tell y' anythin' and it stays in total confidence?" Kester nodded, before Rae continued, "Is tha' offer still open?"

After Rae confessed everything about that morning to Kester and him offering her his usual life advice, the pair discussed some more bits and soon the session came to an end; that being their third to last, together. Rae had walked to therapy that afternoon as it was cold but sunny, jumper weather at it's best. As Rae left therapy, she decided Green Lane shops way would be the best as not only was it a shortcut but a Woolworth's was right in the heart of it; meaning pic-n-mix.

As Rae statisifed her sweet-tooth craving, she began the dreaded walk down Green Lane as the Green Lane Gang sprang to her mind. She prayed and prayed that they weren't out and possibly in school, but was only disappointed as she heard, "Oi, Jabba!" She could kill the bloke who invented Star Wars. As a chorous of "Jabba", "Scrubber", "Fat slag", And other weight insults rang through Rae's ears as they walked behind her; she picked up her pace and squeezed her eyes shut, using Tix's breathing technique she showed Rae back in the hospital.

She then turned a corner and saw the block of flats she knew that Finn lived in, she saw it as an escape route and made a sprint for it; she jogged across the road, up the steps and pressed the buzzer to Finn's over and over - praying he was in. From behind the insults got louder and louder, she danced on the balls of her feet as she awaited for Finn to answer - her heart skipped as she heard, "'Ello?" Through the intercom, she then breathed, "Finn, i-it's me! Can I come up?" She stuttered, nervously glancing over her shoulder to see Big G - the leader - and his twats closing in. "Yeh, sure. Me door's open, I'll buzz y' up now", and with that, he did.

Rae took no chances and swung the block of flats' door open, racing inside and slamming it shut; the insults becoming muffled. She then made the journey up the concrete steps, soon finding herself outside of Finn's door. She made her way inside, calling out, "Finn?" Before slowly closing the door behind her. "Living room!" She then made her way through to the living room, to find a shirtless Finn; sat on the couch. He was nursing swollen and cut knuckles with a wash cloth and a bowl of warm water, anti-septic, bandages, gauze and plasters all laid out on the table.

"Y'alright?" He asked, not even looking up; wincing as he squeezed the warm wash cloth over an open gash across the knuckles above his index and middle fingers on his left hand. Rae dropped her pic-n-mix in shock, the hard sweets hitting the ground with a thud; which caused Finn to glance up and frown. Which caused Rae's mouth to drop into an 'O' As she took in the state of his bruised and cut face, she then gasped, "Wha' the fuck 'ave y' been doin'!? Running into glass doors!?" He rolled his eyes at her over expressive reaction, but then again it was Rae; what did he expect? "It's nowt", She picked up her bag of sweets off the floor and threw herself onto the armchair, throwing her arms up, "First Chloe and now, y'. Is someone gonna tell me wha' the fuck's going on!?"

He couldn't help but scoff an amused laugh as he looked down at his knuckles, his laugh turning to a wince as a splosh of warmth ran over them. She watched him, something about the way he frowned and winced caused something to kick at her chest. She huffed, placing her bag of pic-n-mix on the coffee table before she rose to her feet and joined him on the couch, "Hands", He paused, mid wash before looking up at her with a frown; which caused her to roll her eyes and playfully huff, "Put y' 'ands out t' me, dick'ed", He gave a smirk but did what he was told.

She gingerly looked at the damage across the knuckles of his hands, a gash on his right and just a bruise on his left. She ran a thumb over the bruise which caused him to yelp and yank back his hand, she sighed and gave him a look, "Oh, Finn, don't be such a baby. Gimme me it again, I need to look at summat", In which he nursed it against his chest with his other hand and gave her a look, "Are y' gonna touch it again?" "No, Finn. Now don't be such a bloody whingy bugger and give me y' hand", He looked at her for a moment before giving in and handing over his left hand, which she carefully examined before she asked, "Right can y' wiggle y' fingers?" He went to but then sucked in a breath and shook his head, looking on the verge of tears. Rae looked at his expression and let out a laugh, which he scowled and snapped, "It's not funny! It fuckin' 'urts!" She rolled her eyes, "Shouldn't be fightin' then, should y'".

"Right lemme look at the right", "Be careful, Rae. It's really sore", She shook her head but gave an amused smile, he placed his right hand into her palm and she looked it over before looking up at him, cocking an eyebrow, "'Ave y' checked for any glass?" He shook his head, "Can't, it 'urts too much", She rolled her eyes, again, before letting go of his hand; out the corner of her eye she could see him wince and shake it slightly in pain. She leaned over to the coffee table, looking through the first aid kit. Finn tried to look over her shoulder, curious. She then reaverted herself back to him, tweezers, anti-septic and cotton-wool buds upon her lap, "Gimme y' left hand", and he did so. She grabbed the anti-septic, opening the cap and pouring some carefully onto a cotton wool bud; placing the bottle between her knees. She went to wipe Finn's oozing gash when he pulled his hand back, "Whooaa! Wha' y' doin'!?" "Finn, I 'ave t' clean it", "Then use the wash cloth!" She shook her head, "No, it needs properly cleanin'. Otherwise it will get infected".

He tightened his jaw and gave her the "Finn frown" Before, stubbornly, handing over his left hand with the gaping wound. "Right, Finn, this will sting a little", She spoke, careful with her words before slowly and tenderly wiping the gash with the cotton wool bud; which caused him to let out a growl of pain through gritted teeth and his muscles to tense, she smacked her palm against his forehead and scowled, "Don't tense, only makes it worse!" "It fuckin' 'urts, alright!" His voice cracked, she softened as she couldn't help but feel sorry for him before wiping his gash a few more times and then soothing, "Alright, alright, alright. All done", She then chucked the bloody bud onto the coffee table before turning back to him and picking the tweezers from her lap, "Now, I need to check for glass and pick it out, if there is any. And this will hurt, so y' may wanna put the cloth between y' teeth, just in case", "D'ya 'ave t'?" "Yes, otherwise it will get infected and y' 'and will get gang green", In which Finn burst into a fit of laughter, she gave a bemused smile and shoved her shoulder against his, playfully, "Oh, give over".

A silence fell between the two as Rae examined his gash for any glass, he watched her; like a curious child as he tilted his head slightly as he watched her with careful eyes. Something tightened at his chest and he felt his stomach lurch, he frowned as he grew lost in thought. He began at her eyes, both big and brown, always glistening and bright - His favourite thing about her, especially when they lit up as she talked about something she loved. He trailed over the curve of her nose, so small and button-like. Her lips... So plump. Finn then scowled at himself, for thinking like that before he shook his thoughts away; just as Rae then spoke as she let go of his hand and placed the tweezers back onto the coffee table, "Right, no glass. So, y' in luck", "Ah, cool. Nice one", "Want me t' bandage it?" He looked over his gash before asking, "D'ya mind?" She shook her head, "Nah, s'fine. Now, gis y' 'and back, fuckin' pain in the arse", She joked playfully in which he smirked at her and handed over his left hand in which she began to work on.

He watched her, once more, before asking, "'Ow d'ya know 'ow t' do all this?" As she concentrated on wrapping his hand in gauze, he felt her tense before saying, "Y' 'ave enough accidents, y' get used t' doin' it", He then clicked onto what she meant and shifted, the couch suddenly uncomfortable. He hated himself for asking, as he hated talking about all that dark shit with her; flashbacks of when they were sixteen crawled into his mind. That summer still gave him nightmares, as he found her and if hadn't have found her, lying in a pool of her own blood in her bath; she wouldn't be sat here today. It was her eyes, the way they stared right at him when he entered the room. He had never seen so much blood and Rae had never felt so cold... He still had nightmares, but in his nightmares it was too late... It was always too late. Some night terrors more real than others, which would often caused Finn to ring Al's - checking if Rae was alright.

Without thinking, Finn asked, "Wha' was it like, y'know, in the 'ospital?" She shrugged, now wrapping a bandage around his knuckles, "S'alright, boring most of the time", "Was it scary?" She huffed, finishing dressing his hand before snapping, "Look, can we not talk about it? S'done and it ain't ever 'appening again", "Sorry", She then began collecting the first aid kit's contents and putting away, not looking a him as she softly spoke, "S'fine, just don't like talkin' about it".

A silence fell between the two and Finn could see she was growing dark, so, he blurted out; as if his words were vomit, "Wanna go for a ride?" She then looked at him, cocking an eyebrow with curiosity.

Her fingers linked at his stomach, her thumb accidently grazing his tummy; which caused a smile to break out on his face. He revved his scooter harder, the open road and the wind smashing against the shield of their helmets. He gave out a cheer and heard her giggle from behind, squealing, "Finn! Be careful, y' daft sod!" But he just let out a laugh, a sudden burst of happiness radiating between the two.

Rae then outstretched her her arms, resembling a bird. She felt the wind touch her fingertips and glide along her fingers, she inhaled the fresh air and enjoyed the feel of the open road and how it was just them two - spending time with her best boy mate a rare occurance lately. She joined her hands around his tummy once more, his stomach muscles flexing under her touch. She let out a giggle as she turned her head to the right and watched the passing scenery whipping past them in a blur before turning her attention back to the road before them.

The pair decided on going the park, just to sit on the swings, get some fresh air and have a mess about. As soon as they reached that familiar tarmac and play set, Finn parked the bike and they climbed off; shaking off the helmets and making their way through to the park - heading straight for the rusted and worn swing set. They took a seat each as the park was deserted, Rae twirled from side to side; letting the child within come out for a moment. Finn, smoking on a rollie, watched with amusement as he sat on the swing beside her; sitting sidewards in a cool and laid-back, typical Finn manner - but his feet cutely and carelessly inwards as Finn was, unfortuantely, pigeon-toed.

"I remember when I was four, my dad took me to my first park as mum never bothered when I was little; said they were too dangerous", She then held onto the chains of the swing and kicked her feet, pushing the swing into motion as she spoke, "And I remember how high he kept on pushing me", And with that she went higher, it were as if she wasn't speaking to Finn but more at him; as if she were thinking aloud and he said nothing but just sat and listened, she continued, "And I always wanted more, higher and higher I went. I remember bein' on the swing one minute then on the floor the next as I'd let go and went flyin' but I remember 'ow amazin' it felt, bein' in the air", She then tilted her head back as she was now in full swing, her hair floated behind her as she felt weightless and felt so at peace.

And that's how she always felt with Finn, at peace and blissful. She felt as if she were floating, the comfort of Finn and the motion of the swing gave her a feeling of, somewhat, content. She shut her eyes and let the swing take her to a place in her mind that only ever appeared around Finn, as she could be herself; her true self. The quiet Rae that nobody ever saw, the Rae that she hid away as she always felt as if she had to keep up her loud persona and Finn let her, he never made her feel as if she had to constantly wear that mask of happiness; he appreciated and loved her for everything she was - in what way he wasn't quite sure.

Finn watched as she went higher and higher, and he felt happier and happier as in that moment; the pair felt free. Free from bullshit, free from stress and in that moment; they could be kids and be at peace. Words from Archie one drunken night sprang to Finn's mind_, "__Here y' have two people who are so perfect for each other, yet they don't believe that the other could possibly have feelings for them. If only they knew how one another felt, they wouldn't hurt each other the way they do, I don't get why y' don't just tell her, Finn. Tell her before she's lost to y' forever", _A year and a half on and the words still echoed in Finn's mind every now and again.

Finn wasn't sure that he loved Rae, as he wasn't really sure about anything; if he was being quite honest. But he knew he wanted to keep her in his life, as she was a part of him - in a sense. Oddly, a French sentence sprang to his mind - something he learnt in school, "Tu me manques" Which meant "You are missing from me", and he loved that. He loved the way the French never said "I miss you" but "You are missing from me". You are a part of me, you are like a limb, the oxygen that keeps me alive and the blood that runs within my veins - and that's what she was becoming. A part of him. A part he felt was the reason he breathed, ate and slept - what kept him going. She may not have been his girlfriend, as he wasn't sure he even liked her like that - but he knew that deep down, she was his soul mate.

As time grew on, the pair decided they needed to depart around four - so he drove her to Al's and went their seperate ways. Once again, their bond growing more strong. It was not long gone four-thirty in the afternoon, when Rae opened the door to a broken Chloe; the pair made their way straight through to the kitchen and sat at the table - Rae decided a cup of tea was best.

Finn always would say tea made everything better, even if it were only small percentage. And if that were the case, then Chloe was going to need a river-load to even make an eighth of her better. Her hands curled around her freshly-brewed mug of tea that Rae had placed before her, breathing a "Thanks" Over the hot liquid before taking a sip and then placing it down on a coaster. Rae, nursing her own tea, asked, "So, wha' 'appened then?" Chloe ran a hand through her hair, her eyes puffed and her cheeks red, she sniffed, "Went the doctor's today, turns out I'm not pregnant", Rae raised her eyebrows as she sympathetically cooed, "But tha's a good thing isn't it?" Chloe shook her head, trying to stop thick tears from spilling, "It's not just tha', turns out I'm infertile", Rae sucked in a breath before stuttering, "As in y' can't...?" Chloe then nodded and fell to bits once more.

Rae said nothing but rose to her feet, moved round to Chloe and leaned down; pulling Chloe into her arms as Chloe sobbed and Rae rocked them slowly back and fourth in a motherly manner as she cooed, "Oh, Chlo. I'm so sorry". A pang of guilt hit Rae as her best friend sobbed, her life going perfectly; whilst Chloe's was falling apart - Rae grew silently angry but didn't dare show it, she grew angry at how Chloe - yet again - made Rae feel like shit. But this time, she didn't even know she was doing so.


	9. Chapter 9 - Finn's part 1

After calming Chloe down, Rae decided to run her a bubble bath. Rae sat on the toilet whilst Chloe soaked under a moutain of bubbles, this scene a familiarity to them both. Chloe shut her eyes, sighing in content. Rae watched Chloe and she had to admit, she did admire her; in a way. Chloe was so beautiful, even now with panda eyes, hair scraggy and ends damp in a messy bun and puffy cheeks; it was no wonder Finn chose her.

_Even now, the memory was still vivid in Rae's mind. Two years and one month ago. It was the night after the gang's first rave together, the night Rae met Al for the first time. Chloe, Finn and Rae were sat at their regular table in the cafe, Chloe and Finn sat opposite Rae. Rae remember the exact words, the way Chloe spoke them with such sheer happiness but also so smugly; knowing she'd get a reaction from Rae - and so she did. Rae remembered the way Finn simply stared ahead, huffing and fidgeting as he grew uncomfortable with Rae's saddned stare. Rae then made up an excuse that she had to go as she had a session with Kester, quickly scarpering from the cafe. She couldn't understand why it hurt so much, why it was so painful; she didn't like Finn like that. Sure, he was fit with a body blessed by the Gods - but that didn't mean she liked him as more than a mate. Maybe it was the fact everything was going to change, now Chloe being his other half and not Rae. But Rae couldn't let that happen, as he was her best friend. It had always been them two, Finn and Rae, Rae and Finn; not Rae, Finn and Chloe. "Rae?"_

Snapping back to present, Chloe then shouted, "Rae!" Rae, shaking her head as she came back to Chloe, asked, "Wha'?" Chloe giggled before messing about with some bubbles and saying, "Y' keep wanderin'", Rae blushed, "Sorry, just dead tired today", "Y' always tired" Jokingly quipped Chloe in which Rae pulled a face, which Chloe copied and mocked before the girls shared a smile. A silence fell between the girls before Rae then asked, "'Ave y' told Finn?" She saw Chloe tense and looked down at the water, avoiding eye contact as she nodded, Rae then asked, "Wha' did he say?" Chloe sighed, amusement twinkling in her eyes as she looked at Rae and said, "I didn't really give 'im a chance, I kinda just shouted at him and stormed out", Rae couldn't help but laugh and shake her head, "I 'onestly don't know 'ow y' two are still together", Chloe giggled and shrugged before she grew serious and stared ahead, saying as if she were thinking out loud, "Y'know, I ask myself that everyday".

A moment passed before Chloe asked, "Rae, can I ask y' a question?" Rae nodded, Chloe continued, "D'you think he loves me?" Rae then sarcastically quipped, "Course he does, wouldn't be with y' for two years if he didn't. D'ya really think he'd put up with y' this long if he didn't love y'!" Chloe playfully gasped and flicked bath water at Rae, "Cheeky bitch!" The pair shared a laugh before Rae turned serious, "Nah, but seriously. He does love y' and I know he can be a grumpy sod but he adores y', Chlo. He may not show it all the time but he does, trust me", Chloe bit her lip before then looking at Rae, dead-pan serious, "I think I need to get out", Rae frowned, "Why?" "Me arse has gone numb", And with that, the girls fell to bits with laughter. But through the laughter both the girls couldn't help but wander back to thoughts of Finn.

Finn Patrick Nelson, a born and raised Stamfordian (As Chop called it). He was good-looking, a handsome face with a boyish charm, sharp jawline and a cheeky smile - well when he wasn't pouting. He was all moody and deep, one of those dickheads you saw writing poetry at the back of a coffee shop. Finn stood at exactly 5ft8, he played football four times a week and was lean, with faint abs and a 'snail-trail' tracing his torso. His style was very grunge and laid-back, wearing oversized baggy, short-sleeved t-shirts with the sleeves rolled up topped with the plaid shirts tied around the waist. He, like Archie and Chop, was a brunette. His hair wasn't like Chop's style wise but more like Archie's, his hair was short and straight with a little wave and kink - his fringe slighter longer than the rest of his hair. His eyes were a pretty little chocolate brown, surrounded by a few freckles that crowded the bridge of his nose; but anyone barely ever saw his eyes as they were always wandering. Before Chloe, the gang had never seen Finn with a girlfriend, always alone. Well, not alone, alone - just girlfriend alone. Even through school, Finn never cared for girls. It often made the boys question whether Finn was gay, well the piercing on his left ear lobe and the poetry writing never helped. It wasn't that Al or any other of the lads in the group despised Finn, they just never took a proper liking to him, just tolerated him – apart from Chop. Well then again, Chop liked everyone.

Finn was in his final year at college doing a lawyers course, lived in his own flat and worked as a mechanic in Chop's uncle's garage. He liked living alone, although he loved his friends, Chloe and family; you couldn't beat being alone. Especially of a night, usually most people hate being alone of a night as it's a time where you can ruin yourself by over thinking too much. But Finn liked it, not only because he could do what he want but he could let his deepest and darkest thoughts creep out and be put on paper.

Finn loved to write – mainly poetry. He originally wanted to write songs and become a musician to get a few shags, but after trying to learn the guitar and giving up after the first week; he turned to poetry. He never showed anyone his poetry as:

A.) They would laugh at him.

B.) They weren't good enough.

Now although both everyone and even Finn himself, thought he were thick. He was actually quite clever, he had gotten all A*s to Bs on his GCSEs – well apart from one in Performing Arts. He got a fail in drama as all he did was piss ball about in it, he only took it because a girl he fancied took it and he wanted to impress her.

Tonight, Chop and Izzy decided to throw a house party round at Chop's - which Finn begrudingly agreed to go to. It must have been gone past nine as it was pitch black outside, stars twinkled and danced throughout the inky coloured sky. It was a cold night and as Finn walked to the local off-license to get some beer, his breath came out in a little cloud before him. Finn got a six-pack of Carling for himself as he didn't want to drink the cheap shite Chop usually bought. As Finn began the journey to Chop's, thoughts of Chloe entered his mind.

His chest tightened at the thought of the situation Chloe was in, she'd been through the mill that girl. He couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness, unable to imagine how she was feeling. He wanted to call after her but she was out the door before he could even find the words to shout after her. Another wave of sadness washed over him at the news Chloe laid on him, now, Finn wasn't going to lie; he had imagined having kids with Chloe. Sure, it may haven't have been right this minute but if Chloe were to fall pregnant now; he wouldn't argue if she wanted to keep it.

Finn could be broody wanted he to be, sure, he could be a moody sod when he wanted and he could stand his ground if he ever found himself cornered; but whenever he'd so much as even see a pair of baby booties in his town centre; he'd fall to bits. He had to admit, he got a little teary at the thought of unable to have kids of his own with her - and the thought of adoption or surrogacy just didn't appeal to Finn; if he was going to have kids then they'd have to be his and Chloe's. He couldn't help but wander some days at what they'd look like, Chloe's eyes and maybe his nose; God help if they inheriated his eyebrows. He already made up in his mind that Rae and Chop would be his choice of the Godparents, couldn't see anybody see - despite Chop being completely hopeless, Rae would surely take charge.

Finn hadn't realised how much he'd been thinking when he realised, he was now across the road from the street where Chop lived. Finn wished with everything in him that Rae or Chloe weren't there tonight, he just couldn't deal with the bollocking.

Chloe cringed as she heard a glass being smashed somewhere throughout the house, poor Chop. He was going to have some shit to deal with tomorrow. The party was in full swing, a tight squeeze but the tightness of the meshing bodies made the party that bit cooler - the more the merrier. Chloe was stood at the doorway that connected the living room and hallway, watching everyone whilst drinking a alchopop, not really one for dancing - especially with how she was feeling. She felt as if she was being judged by every guy in the room, thinking they were secretly laughing at her. Her sleeveless and exposed arms felt a little more buldgy than usual, her playsuit felt tight around her tummy and her legs felt chubbier than ever.

"Alright", Some lad, a cute geek, breathed in her ear - a little too close for comfort. She gave a small and tight-lipped smile, not wanting a chit-chat. He then leaned in, once again, "Can I get you a drink or anything?" She then shook her head and shook her drink a little in front of his face and leaned into his ear as she said, "No ta, got one", She cursed the music for being so loud, not wanting to get so close to him to talk - she'd rather be an arm's length away. It then grew awkward, the pair looked around to try and find something to talk about. He adjusted his glasses, the type that looked fake and girls wore to be "Hipster", before then leaning in again, "I'm David, what's your name?" "Chloe", He then said with a shy smile, "Chloe? That's nice name", She gave a bashful smile, it not quite reaching her eyes, "Thanks", He then smiled at her, but his eyes looked a bit more nastier than his smile - not a bullying nasty but a lustful and hungry kind of nasty.

Finn watched David and Chloe as he sat on a couch, sharing a joint with Archie - who sat on the arm of the couch. Finn passed the joint over to Archie and took a swig from his can of Carling, not taking his glare off Chloe and David, making a slight dent in the can as his fingers clutched it a little - not liking the closeness of David and Chloe. Now, Finn wasn't jealous as Finn never got jealous - well so he claimed - but David had a rep - not a nice one.

"So, d'ya wanna go somewhere a bit more quiet?" David asked Chloe, in which she shook her head and said, "I'm fine 'ere, thanks", David then laughed a little, a wicked tone that flipped Chloe's stomach, "No, I don't think you heard me", Chloe felt his hand clamp onto her wrist tightly, which caused her to wince, "I said, d'ya wanna go somewhere a bit more quiet?" He spoke through a clenched smile. Not giving Suzie enough time to reply, he attempted to kiss her in which she pushed him away.

That was it.

David was in front of Chloe one minute, the next he was ripped away and thrown across the hallway; landing onto his back and onto the floor with a thud. As soon as David had made a move on Chloe, Finn had bolted to his feet and rugby tackled David to the ground. Finn was now straddling David on the floor. Finn picked David up by the scruff of his T-shirt and gave him a mean right hook to the jaw, causing David's head to smack against the wooden floor beneath them. Once everyone had realised what was going on, they'd all gathered in the hallway. Some poking out the doorway that connected the living room to the hallway, the other that connected the kitchen to the hallway, some in the actual hallway and some on the staircase - others peaking over heads to see what was going on. Even the music had cut out by now.

"Don't y' ever and I mean ever fucking touch 'er again or I will fucking curl y' up, do ya understand!?" Finn bellowed in David's face, landing another punch on David's jaw. Compared to Finn, David had not an ounce of muscle on him - meaning he had no chance. Finn then rose to his feet, "Get up and fight, y' fucking cunt!" He screamed at David, booting him in the ribs - causing David to curl up and cough as he clutched his stomach. "Is it because I'm not girl, ay!? Is it!? Y' spineless little prick!" Phwack! Another kick to the ribs.

Chloe and Izzy were at the front of the crowd - screaming at Finn to get off as they watched in horror. Chloe then choked out a "Finn", And he turned to look at her and his pupils were now two black slits as his eyes came into contact with hers - she knew he was at the precipice of anger at the moment, if he went any further he would do maximum damage to David. Rae, Archie, Johnny, Al and Chop pushed their way through the crowds and joined the two girls, in which Rae screamed, "Finn, wha' y' doin'!?" She then looked at the boys and smacked Chop across the head, "Don't just stand there, dick'ed. Do summat!" The lads shared a look before Chop dived for Finn and yanked him off David, looping his arms through Finn's and locking them behind Finn's back - despite Finn's kicks and screams to get at David. Chop then called over a furious Finn, "Oi, take 'im to get cleaned up whilst I sort this knob out", Archie nodded, picked David up off the floor and took him through the crowd and up to the bathroom.

Al then turned to everyone, who still stared in horror, "Alright, y' had y' show now piss off and someone get that music back on!" Despite a few moans and grumbles, everyone went back to their partying and the music went back on. Chop then, slowly and cautiously, let go of Finn and asked, "Y'alright now, fella?" Finn then nodded and fixed himself a little, fire still in his eyes. As everyone departed, Finn went to walk into the kitchen to grab another beer when he froze; as Chloe was stood in front of him and she was not at all happy, "Wha' the fuck was tha' all about!?" She shouted in his ear over the music, he then curled his lip at her, "That!? Wha' about tha' little scene tha' went on with David before!?" She rolled her eyes and snapped back, "Tha', was none of y' business!" He glowered, how ungrateful could she be? "None of my business? Kinda is considering y' me girlfriend!" She scoffed, "Whatever", "Y'know what? Next time I won't even bother, be no skin off my nose when he takes y' into the toilets and rapes y'" She went to bite back when he pushed past her and into the kitchen.

She watched the back of his head disappear into the sea of people, she was furious. What a fucking prick, she didn't ask for his help; she was dealing with David perfectly well on her own. Despite Finn being her boyfriend, she didn't need him nosing in her business or mollycoddling her like that. She was a big girl and could handle things perfectly well on her own.

Finn was now in the kitchen, drinking beer and frowning as he stared forward. His hand throbbed in pain and he winced, looking down at his reddening, swollen and bruised knuckles - luckily not cut. It had been a couple of hours since he saw David or Chloe, hearing word from a drunken Chop that David had been chucked out. He glanced at the clock that hung on the wall above the fridge, reading that it was 3:49 in the morning. Judging by the sudden drop in people in the kitchen, he guessed the rest of the house wasn't much different and everyone was starting to leave - finally.

He scanned the remaining people in the kitchen, no one standing out - he'd never met any of these people in his life and he was pretty sure Chop hadn't either.

"Hi", He heard breathe in his ear, he turned his head slightly to see a pretty - well pretty of sorts - little blonde. Tits in your face and a killer smile. She flicked one side of her hair over her shoulder and then said, "What's your name?" He looked at her, gave her a glance over and left for the living room - he wasn't in the mood for tarts with killer legs tonight. He weaved his way in-and-out of the small crowd that gathered in the hallway and popped his head into the living room - where Chop and six others lounged around. Chop was currently in the middle of chopping up and snorting a line. The oh-so irritating song 'Spacemen', Blasted through the speakers. Finn grimaced at the song, God did it get on his tits.

"Oi, Chopper!" Finn called out, but got no response off Chop. After the third attempt, he finally got a head nod and a, "What's up, mate?" Whilst Chop rubbed his nose and widened his eyes. Finn then frowned, "Turn this shit off, man!" He boomed, in refferal to the music. Chop rolled his eyes, "Oh c'mon, mate. S'good tune!" Finn then shook his head, unable to stop the smile spread onto his lips before he then turned back into the hallway and glanced around - still no signs of the rest of the gang. A unsettling feeling nibbled away at Finn's stomach, where was everyone? Where could they possibly have disappeared to now as there was barely anyone around? There must have been no more than forty people around the house now. He would've been happy to even see Archie and hear all about Hercules or some other boring bullshit.

He then saw her, all legs and brown hair. He softened and his shoulders dropped, he was going to have to talk to her eventually. He made his way through to the kitchen and over to her, where she stood; making herself a drink of what was left. She jumped as she turned to see him, "Jesus, Finn", "Listen, Chlo. I've come t'... I've come t' talk t' y'", She took a swig of her drink, not making eye contact as she asked, "Wha' about?" He scoffed, "Don't be like tha', Chloe", She huffed, "Well wha' is there t' talk about? Y' lookin' like a walkin' bruise, me never bein' able t' 'ave kids, or the fact y' made a complete show of me in front of the whole of the party?" He angled his eyebrows in multiple positions as he gave her an innocent look, "All three?" She sighed before giving in and softly saying, "Let's go upstairs".

Rae joined everyone in the living room - passing five passed out partiers; seven if you included Al and Johnny. In the living room, it was just Chop, Izzy and two randomners. Chop decided to whack on his dad's old record player and a slow, chilled out tune played throughout the room.

Chop and Izzy laid on the long couch, his arm dangled loosely around her. The two others were jotted around the room. Rae rested sidewards against the doorframe, one foot crossed behind the other and her arms folded as she scanned everyone. Chop then noticed Rae and smiled lazily, "Raemundo, mate", He spoke in a lazed, sleepily tone. Obviously stoned out of his brains. Rae smiled and nodded, "Yes, Chop?" Chop giggled, yes giggled, "I love you", in which Rae laughed, shook her head, replied with "Love y' too" and then left the living room.

As she walked to the stairs, she saw a random partier curled at the bottom of the stairs, another asleep but sitting up against the front door, another curled up by the radiator, one fast asleep halfway up the stairs and another at the top. Rae stepped carefully over the randomner at the bottom of the staircase, dodged another and then stepped over the person at the top of the stairs – trying not to wake anyone. She went to walk into Chop's bedroom, knowing this house inside out, but then she heard low and harsh whisperings. Letting her nosey side get the better of her, she followed the sounds of the conversation and it led to the guest bedroom.

The door was cracked open slightly, enough to see inside. It were Chloe and Finn, Chloe stood over Finn as he sat on the edge of one side of the bed and stared ahead, the two with their backs to Rae. Rae's brow knitted in confusion as to why the were arguing, that is until Chloe hissed, "So, tha's it? Y' just gonna end it here, as if it meant nothin'?" She snapped lowly, "No, I didn't say tha'. I just said we need to go on a break for a little while", His voice cracked.

Chloe then huffed before whimpering, "But I don't understand I mean, we don't need a break, Finn. We can work this out and I-" "Don't beg, Chlo. Y' and I both know this break will do us good, either that or we split up for good and hate each other", Chloe then whimpered and begged some more, "Please, don't do this, Finn", Finn then snapped, standing his ground, "I've made up me mind, Chlo and tha's tha'", She then scoffed, throwing her hands up, "And don't I get a say!?" He stayed silent, not looking up. Chloe then scoffed, "Y' know wha', Finn? Fuck you", She spat before turning and storming out. Rae then hid in the shadowed and dark corner as Chloe stormed out the room and down the stairs. Rae then counted up to two minutes before she walked in to see Finn still sat on the edge of the bed, his back to her. He rested his elbows on his knees and had his head in hands, he let out a sniff before he pulled at his hair slightly.

Rae moved slightly, cursing silently as a floorboard creaked; causing Finn to sharply turn and coughing as he cleared his voice, "Rae, di... Did y' 'ear tha'?" Rae then nodded in which Finn's face contorted before he whimpered and he sniffed, in which Rae's heart broke before she moved over to him and cooed, "Oh, Finn", She then sat down and pulled him into her arms, and that's when he let himself go. She then tightened her embrace around him as she soothed him, "It's alright, it's gonna be alright".

After cuddling him some more, Rae decided that it was best for the pair to settle down in bed - bed sharing nothing new or unfamiliar to the two, "Y' alright now?" Rae asked timidly, in which he shrugged, "I guess so, well as alright as I can be", A moment passed before Rae then sighed, "Y'know, it is gonna be ok, Finn. I mean, y'll work it out, y' always do", He then shook his head, "Not this time, Rae", She frowned, "Y' love her, don't y'?" It was his turn to frown before he boomed, "'Course! I love 'er to death", "Then why can't it work out? I mean, if y' love y' 'er then y'll work it out", He sighed, "It's a bit more complicated than tha', Rae. I mean, I love 'er. But this time, it's different. It just doesn't feel the same anymore, sure, I love 'er but I'm not 'appy anymore, not like I used t' be", She then sarcastically quipped, "Are y' ever 'appy?" In which he smirked and rolled his eyes, "Oh piss off".

A moment passed before Finn asked, "Did Chloe tell y' she the went the doctor's today?" Rae nodded before she asked, timid with her words, "And how are y' about it?" He shrugged, "Alright, well guess I 'ave t' be", "Least y' don't 'ave to worry about 'avin' kids", He nodded but didn't exactly fully agree with the statement, in which she frowned as she took in his face before she asked, "Y' wanted kids didn't y'?" He nodded, "Well not now, but maybe in like a year or two", "Jesus, Finn! Bit young aren't y'?" He exhaled, "Yeh, now but I dunno I mean it'd be exciting, 'avin' a kid an tha'. Buying clothes for it, changin' it, feedin' it, watchin' it take it's first steps. It'd... I just think it'd be amazin' 'cause like I could raise it my way and do it proper, not like me arl fella, y'know?" A soft smile spilled onto Rae's lips as she watched his eyes lit up as he continued to talk, he didn't look at her but stared ahead as he talked; just like Rae did when talking in the park earlier; he then gushed as he continued, "And I always wonder what it'd look like, whether it'd have my eyes or Chloe's nose", "Let's just 'ope it don't inheriate them bloody eyebrows", Rae joked, in which the pair fell to bits laughing.

Finn watched Rae through his own laughter as her eyes squinted shut with happiness. Finn's eyes trailed down from her eyes, down her lips, passed her chest, her hips and then back up to her face. In that moment, that moment of laughter; he forgot the fact he could never have children with the girl he loved, his dad and every other bit of bullshit in his life; well, he didn't call her his best mate for nothing.

Finn woke up with dry lips, a bitch of a headache and a feel of motion sickness. He needed a shower, a smoke, a cup of tea and a place to think. After he and Rae had their heart-to-heart last night and laid together - a sense of de ja vu from when his nana passed just over a year ago sprang to his mind - Finn decided to creep downstairs and get them two pint glasses, the big bottle of Jack Daniels and left over coke - big mistake. A really big mistake, as it were evident this morning as Finn felt like his brain was now mashed and felt as if it had been scattered across the room.

He blinked a few times, widening his eyes to make sure he was awake and alright enough to get up. Which he was. He sat up, now noticing he was topless as the covers slowly dropped from his upper body and exposed his naked skin. He rubbed his face and yawned quietly, trying to not wake his bed mate. Speaking of her, he looked down at her as she slept - eyes twitching every so often. He smiled to himself like a right idiot, before he turned and scanned the room - it was just them two.

He gave out an inward sigh, absenmindently chewing the inside of his cheek. He glanced over at the daisy and green patterned curtains as sunlight dimly peeked through them. He could hear a lawnmower blaring outside, which meant it was a nice day - much to Finn's displeasure. A hangover and the sun never went well together. Finn then slowly climbed out the bed and crept out the room, giving Rae a quick glance before then wandering to downstairs - dodging and stepping over a few passed out partiers.

Finn made his way straight to the kitchen, painkillers and getting the kettle on the go his main priority. Despite being topless, Finn still had his jeans on - weird. But he shrugged it off and fished out his lighter, filters, pouch of tobacco and his papers. He got out a mug from the cupboard above and flicked the kettle on. As he looked at the back garden through the window above the sink, he did a massive stretch and let out a tired moan. He needed the world to stop spinning and to get his shit together.

As the kettle did it's business, Finn lazily made a rollie. It may have been shit but it'd have to do as he was down to last bits of 'Backie' As he and Chop called it, and he didn't have any money on him to get some from the shop on the walk home. So, he tucked his rollie behind his ear and put his lighter and papers back in his pocket; leaving his tobacco pouch on the kitchen counter as there was barely anything left and no longer useable.

The kettle clicked, bringing Finn's wandering mind back into the room. He made his tea - two sugars and a drop of milk - grabbed his rounded "John Lennon" Sunglasses off the side that he left from last time he was over and left for the back garden where he took a seat at the patio dining set. He placed his mug of tea on the glass table, placed the sunglasses on and lit his rollie. He outstretched his legs whilst he slouched within the chair as he took a drag, the toxins of the rollie releasing all tension in his body; tilting his head back as he exhaled.

He then looked around and noticed how quiet and still the garden was, it must've been not long gone eight as the birds were still in chirpy and cheery form. Considering it was December, it was pretty warm out. Not Ibiza warm, but early September warm - humid with a light breeze.

"Ay up", Croaked Izzy. A smile spilt onto his lips as she took place at the table. A blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a mug of tea cupped between her hands, he could see the material of one of Chop's T-shirt popping up from underneath the blanket. He hadn't realised he'd been thinking for that long, but he must've done if Izzy had come downstairs, made a cup of tea and such, "Ya sleep alright?" He asked, exhaling some smoke. She nodded, eyes still drooping slightly with tiredness, "Yeh, Chop's bed is so comfy and I didn't wanna get out of it. How is it that when you have to get up of a morning your bed becomes comfier than an Angel's wing but when you try to get asleep then it becomes as hard as nails?" He couldn't help but laugh, scrunching his nose as the look on her face set him off even more. Jesus, she only asked a question...

Finn, once dressed and showered, left, not bothering to say goodbye as he wasn't in the mood for talking to anyone. Finn took the long walk home through Rutland fields, picking up a long weed and tearing it apart as he made his way home. He searched through his pocket and pulled out some change, enough for a bag of crisps and a bottle of Tizer. He stopped off at the Woolworth's at Green Lane shops before heading for home, when he froze as he reached his block of flats. His breath caught in the back of his throat as he heard;

"'ello, son".


	10. Chapter 10 - Chop's

Rae woke, surprisingly, fresh but lonely. She frowned as her brain caught up and made her realise that her bed mate was no longer beside her, she wondered where he'd got to. She sat up, yawning before blinking a few times; making sure her mind was in tact and fully awake.

She then threw the covers off herself and climbed out of bed, she wandered out of the bedroom, down the stairs and into the living room; where the gang - minus Finn - was having a clean up with tiredness in their eyes and hangovers on their faces; the remaining partiers long gone by now. Al noted Rae and gave her a gentle smile, walking over and giving her a light peck on the lips as he mumbled a "Mornin', gorgeous", As he pulled away, she smiled and asked, "'Ow long's everyone been up?" Al shrugged, "Dunno, no more than an hour. There's bacon butties in the kitchen if y' want one", "Cheers", Rae looked around and frowned, "Where's Finn?" Al gave her a clueless look, pouting his bottom lip as he looked around before saying, "Chop! Where's miserable arse?" Chop shrugged, "Dunno, he was with Izzy this morning and them she came to wake me up, we came down and he was gone", Rae rolled her eyes, typical Finn; always long gone before the words 'Bin bags' Are even spoke.

Chop then walked over to Rae with a little cheeky but a, somewhat, innocent smile. Which she playfully sighed at and asked, "Wha', Chop?" "Y'know cause y' love me, will y' do the dishes for me and I'll buy y' a pint later?" She playfully glowered before leaving for the kitchen, in which Chop shouted after her, "Cheers, babes!"

Al, miraculously had now finished and filled his bin bag. So, he swiftly left through the house and for the back garden; where he put the bin bag out. He then wandered back inside and into the kitchen, where Rae was - attempting to - cleaning the never ending pile of dishes. Chop being the lazy bugger he is, had left them to build up as Izzy hadn't been round as she'd been doing some last minute exam cramming. So, you could imagine how bad it was with Chop being an nineteen year old lad, plus friends camping out in his house for the entire week.

There was a pause, before Al then asked, "So, are y' gonna tell me wha' happened between y' and Finn last night?" Without looking up from the dishes, Rae coolly responded, "Just talked", Al scoffed, "Tha's bullshit", Rae widened her eyes, she never realised how blunt Al could actually be. She continued with the dishes, "Think wha' y' wanna think, Al", He then snapped, "So considerin' it's true, if I asked Finn then he'd say the exact same?" She huffed with impatience, she sharply looked at him and snapped, "Like I said, think what y' wanna think, Al but at the end of the day y' forgetting that Finn is my best friend and I knew 'im before I knew y'. Ok? All we did was 'ave a chat about somethin' that 'appened yesterday, to do with him and Chloe. Go ask Chloe, if y' don't believe me", She then scoffed and turned back to the dishes before huffing, "Y'know wha', I can't be arsed with y'. So, if y' wanna argue then save it and fuck off", His knuckles turned white with anger, he then pushed his tongue against bottom lip and spat, "Whatever", Before leaving the kitchen.

Rae turned back to the sink, placing her hands back in and began angrily scrubbing the dishes when she froze and then stared at the dirty dishwater and the bubbles that floated below and slowly closed her eyes, letting the hot water soak into her skin. Maybe if she just turned the heat up a little more... "Raemundo!" Chop shouted in her ear, purposely causing her to jump. He then jumped up onto the kitchen unit, swinging his legs a little - like an overgrown child. He laughed a little before asking, "'ow are y', me little treasure?" She smiled, "I'm good, 'ow are y'?" He shrugged, "I'm not too bad!" His accent and just him overall, always put a smile on her face. He was always in his own little world, always cracking jokes - terrible jokes - and talking bollocks. That was Chop for you.

He was itching to ask her something, she could tell by the way he swung his legs and looked around the kitchen. So, it was no surprise when he blurted out, "So, what's goin' on with y' and lanky legs?" Lanky Legs being Al's nickname within the group as he was the tallest out of them all.

"Nothin', why?" Chop then shook his head, "Nowt, y' just looked a bit pissed off. Tha's all", She sighed, not looking up as she continued to clean, "Yeh, we're fine. Well, I'm fine. Just 'ad a little tiff tha's all", Chop then nodded, taking it in before he asked "Y' still letting 'im tickle y' kidneys then?" She grimaced and flicked dishwater at him, "Don't be so vile!" "Ay now! Be nice, I was just askin'!" She giggled, "It's a mystery 'ow Izzy puts up with y' sometimes", He then beamed, "Cause she loves me", "Someone has t'! Now get out me kitchen!" She then flicked water at him once more in which he laughed and jumped down, holding his hands up as he left the kitchen whilst shouting, "Alright, alright! I'm gone!" She then giggled as she turned back to the sink and continued with the dishes.

One person she could rely on to snap her almost instantly out of her darkening mind, was Chop. Like it was written just before, he was always in his own little world. Sure, he may have been a little thicker and more gulliable than the other lads - but he still was a laugh and always brought the banter to the table. There was nothing ever miserable and bad about him, he was just one of the lads.

Arnold John Peters, or known infamously as 'Chop'. Born and raised in a small town known as Grimsby that laid on the outskirts of Hull, up until the age of 11 when he moved down to Lincolnshire with his uncle Al as his mum had left and his dad was unable to care for him. He wasn't the best of looking men, well not compared to the other lads within the group, but he was funny - and that was all that mattered. Sure, he did wish for straighter teeth and his hair could do with a wash every now and again - but he meant well. Everyone within the group sometimes wondered how he got into college, when he talked a load of waffle most of the time - but he did. He still had a little bit of childish chub around his face, which consisted of two big and brown eyes, a bit of a wonky nose that was left funny after a BMX incident when he was twelve, his jaw wasn't sharp like Finn's and his skin wasn't clear or tanned like Archie's - but he still got girls. He was still in his "Chav" Phase, he wore the tracksuits, gold chains and his accent didn't help either. But he was kind-hearted and always there with a big extra cheesy pizza if you needed him. For someone who ate so much, he was a little whippet. Well, a tall whippet. After Al, Chop was the tallest and stood at 5' 11". But unlike Al, Chop's frame looked more gangly and lanky. Aside from college, he had a little side job in a garage that he worked in that belonged to his Uncle Al. Anyway, Uncle Al was... Well, was a bit of a dickhead. Although he spoke with advice on the atomy of women, he was an utter prick - especially to Chop. Chop was his little 'Joey' And being as gulliable as he was, Uncle Al could get him to do whatever he want. Chop didn't like it, but kept his mouth shut as Uncle Al took no shit and could give a good whip round the head if he wanted.

After everyone had cleaned, ate some more, they all departed. Johnny left to go and do his Friday shift in the pub, Izzy left for her mid-morning lecture at college, Al took Rae for breakfast, and Chloe and Archie left for college with Izzy. The only one left was Chop, who decided a shower and smoke before his shift at the garage was needed. After everyone left, Chop made his way into his bedroom and decided to pop in Blur's Parklife album tape into his radio and blast it as he stripped down to his boxers. He wandered over to his back garden, giving his balls a scratch and letting out a yawn. His bedroom was in the far right of the house and over looked the back garden. Same old, same old; overgrown grass and a broken trampoline. He made a mental note to ask Uncle Al about getting the grass cut.

He stretched and shook his limbs, waking himself a bit more. He checked his arm pits and he certainly wasn't fresh compared to yesterday. He lazily dragged himself into the bathroom, switching on the shower; praying the hot water hadn't run out. Finn was a bastard for using all the hot water. Which was evident as Chop put his hand under the water after five minutes, to snatch his hand back as the freezing cold water danced over his hand.

Deodrant definitely wouldn't do today, so he was going to have to suck it up and get in. He stripped off his boxers and socks, rolling them into a messy bundle and chucking them into the washing basket. He stood in the bathtub and sharply stood back as the icy water pierced his skin. He took a deep breath before standing underneath the water once more, it literally took his breath away. Moments like this he really despised Finn, the selfish git.

He gave his body a quick scrub with some Radox, leaving his hair as he had washed it yesterday. As quickly as he could, he washed all his bits before shutting the shower off and climbing out. He tied a towel loosely round his waist before making his way back into his bedroom. The house phone began to rang out, he lowered his radio so that the music was just background noise before he then answered picked up the house phone from it's stand on his bedside table; putting it on loudspeaker. "Yooo?" He called out, "Alright, lad? Listen me, Al and Rae are going to the caf' in about twenty minutes as I'm not due in work for another hour or so. Y' up for it?" Johnny breathed down the phone, in which Chop checked his phone for the time before throwing his towel into his washing basket, pulling out fresh boxers from his drawer and chucking them on, "Can't, mate. Got work", "Alright, cool. See y' in a bit, mate".

The pair hung up and Chop went over to his wardrobe, scanning through his very little amount of clothes. He decided on a plain black T-shirt, hoodie, jeans and some trainers as it was pouring down out. He chucked them on, sprayed some Lynx and decided he was ready. He switched off his radio and made his way out his room and downstairs.

Once he had everything; his walkman, wallet, keys, etc, he then left the house. With each step he took, the more he dreaded it; he couldn't avoid Uncle Al forever. It was bittersweet that the garage was so close to his house, a ten minute walk to be precise. Sweet that he wasn't in the rain long and bitter that he it wasn't long enough for him to make up an excuse to Uncle Al of why he was late.

"Oi, soft shite!" Boomed a voice from the garage office above as soon as Chop step foot into the building. Uncle Al's car repair garage was the most famous and oldest throughout the whole of Stamford. Chop inwardly winced as soon as that familiar gruff voice bellowed out. Uncle Al, not the thinnest of men, waddled down the iron steps and onto the ground level of the garage. He walked over to Chop, cigarette behind one ear and his coffee in his hand. His beady little eyes were in amused slits as he homed on his prey that was Whacka.

Uncle Al was that typical Cockney, East End geezer. Thought he was the dog bollocks in his Addias tracksuits, beer belly, hairy knuckles and slicked back, thinning hair. Despite being three inches shorter than Chop, Uncle Al still overpowered him and managed to make Chop feel about five inches small. Growing up in the north of London, Uncle Al was a Cockney bitch and thought the world was his oyster; when in fact he was just a bully and a prick who was a hardcore BNP supporter.

"Thought I told ya to come home in for half ten?" Uncle Al snapped at Chop, who cowered and stuttered, "S-sorry, Uncle Al. I woke up late", Uncle Al scoffed, taking a sip of his coffee as he eyed Chop, "You're an idiot, d'ya know that? I had to do the paperwork all by meself this mornin', then again ya would've probably mucked it up. Ya sucha waste of space, you are. Dunno why I even bother with ya, now go get changed as there's cars that need fixing and money that needs making", Chop took no time into scurrying off into the changing rooms in the back. Chop was used to this kind of treatment from Uncle Al, used to his harsh words. When he first moved in when he was younger, it would often wound Chop but now; it meant absolutely nothing and Uncle Al might as well have just been telling him what the footie scores were.

"Oi, soft arse. Someone's 'ere to see ya", One of the lad's Chop worked with called out. Chop came out from underneath the bonnet of some old banger he was repairing and was greeted, surprisingly, by Izzy. He wiped the oil from his hands onto the dirty rag that was in his pocket before he beamed and gave Izzy a kiss "Alright, baby girl! What y' doin' 'ere?" She shrugged, "Nothin', was just passin' and thought I'd say hello", He smiled, Izzy always put a smile on his face. Then again, she always made everyone happy; it were as if she had the constant colour of yellow around her.

He leaned against the car, tucking his hands underneath his arms as he crossed them across his chest, "So, where'd y' get to after this morning?" "College, but got let off on an early lunch as my tutor could see I was fallin' asleep", He laughed as she giggled. They then fell into silence, and by the looks of the way she kept on looking around and fidgeting; there was something bothering her. And so there was, as she then asked, "Chop, can we go somewhere more private? I need to... I need to tell y' something", She nervously glanced around, feeling as she if she was walking on thin ice.

Saying no more questions, he took her up and into the office. He closed the door behind them and told her to take a seat on the office chair. He made them both a cup of tea, she breathed a nervous 'Thanks' Before placing it carefully down on the desk, in which she began picking at her nails with anxiety.

"What's up then, gorgeous?" He asked, taking a sip of tea. She took a deep breath before confessing, "I did somethin', Chop... I did somethin' really fucking stupid".

How can something so little, turn into something so fucking big? How can your Friday morning go from being so normal to this? Chop was sat in the pub with everyone, thinking over today's events whilst sipping his pint. He'd got up, went home, showered, dressed, left for work, just did normal things and then Izzy... Izzy had come in and told him news that flipped his world on it's head; but told it so calmly that he wasn't sure he'd heard right.

"What's wrong with y'?" Asked a voice as Chop felt a shove against his knee. He snapped out of his dazed state and looked to see the shove and voice belonged to Archie. Now noticing he was back with the group, he continued, "Cheer up, y' look like someone's took a piss in y' pint", He laughed slightly, shaking his head as if trying to shake his thoughts out of his brain, "Sorry, I'm so out of it today. I'm fuckin' knackered to be fair", Archie then rolled his eyes at his response and turned back to his conversation with Rae.

He just couldn't believe what Izzy had told him this morning... How could she.. When did she... It just didn't make sense. Chloe then rose to her feet, clapping her hands together as she asked everyone, "So, it's my round! Wha's everyone want?" Everyone, aside from Chop, gave in their orders, "I'll have a snack bite and black", Chop heard Izzy pipe up, and without thinking he snapped, "But y' can't", Everyone turned to Chop, confused. Izzy grew pale and gave him a sly glare. Chloe frowned at him, "Why can't she?" Izzy, realising his mistake, stuttered, "I... She... Well, she's on anti-biotics and well y' not supposed to drink as they make y' sick", Chloe rolled her eyes and everyone went back to their conversations, "Oh she can have one", Chloe argued before turning and heading to the bar.

Izzy, making sure no one was looking, gave Chop a glare and head shake. Chop mouthed a 'Sorry' Before drinking some more of his pint and then involved himself in a converstation with Johnny and Al about Pammy Anderson's arse. It wasn't long before Chloe came back over and asked Chop to help her with the drinks, so he rose to his feet and joined her at the bar; but with Chloe it was more than just helping out.

"So, wha' was tha' all about?" Chloe quizzed, Chop, not making eye contact, began collecting his half of the drinks, "Wha'?" She rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Don't play dim, I'm not stupid. Now, as Iz's best friend I have a right t' know", Chop then snapped, "Well then ask 'er", He went to walk back with the drinks, when she pulled him back, "Chop, I'm just concerned alright? She is my best mate and if she's in trouble, then I just wanna know. I just care about 'er, tha's all", Chop, not believing it for one second, looked her up and down whilst curling his lip, "Whatever", He then pulled away and back over to the table, handing everyone their drinks; Chloe in tow with her own half - face like thunder.

"No, no, no The Queen Is Dead shits all over Wha's The Story Mornin' Glory", Rae boomed, which Archie glared and argued, "Wha'!? No chance, man! Sure, The Queen Is Dead has a few good tunes but every song on the Mornin' Glory album is fucking incredible and has more meaning!" Rae scoffed, "Yeh, and I'm the next Bond Girl", Al then jokingly quipped as he rolled a cig, "You fuckin' wish", Which everyone, even Rae, laughed at, "Nah, mate. Seriously, The Queen Is Dead is a classic album. Y' can't beat it!" Rae argued, once more, "Piss right off", Archie scoffed, Rae snapped back, "Just cause y' don't know good music", He rolled his eyes, smirking, "Get to fuck!" Rae smirked at him over her pint as she took a swig before putting it down, "See! Y'know I'm right and-" Chop then cut Rae off, "Raemundo, I'm gonna have to butt in and agree with Archers and say is it fuck better than Mornin' Glory", Rae then scowled at Chop, "And since when d'ya know about music y'? Y'know as much about music as me mum", Chop rolled his eyes at Rae's protest, knowing Rae weren't giving in as Rae was such a stubborn little shit; especially where music was concerned.

Despite the debate becoming so heated, that Chloe had to intervine; it still wasn't enough to stop Chop's mind wandering. He watched Izzy, he watched her laugh and act as if everything was normal and not a single thing was out of place; how could she be so... Chill? Now, he knew Izzy was a laid-back and happy little thing, but he never realised how much. Maybe it was a front, but it was a bloody good front; considering the shit she was in. Another thought then crossed his mind;

Where the fuck was Finn?

After a few more pints, Chop was far past tipsy and in need of some nicotine. He walked, well stumbled, out the pub and into the beer garden; sloppily lighting a cigarette. He leaned against the brick wall of the building and shut his eyes as he took a drag, exhaling all tension from his body as the toxins pulsed within his veins. He was so fucked.

"Chop?" A voice piped up, he looked up and lazily grinned as Rae stood before him, but his smile quickly faltered as he saw a worried look on her face, "What's up?" He asked, a slight slurr to his tone. She leaned sidewards against the wall, "What's up with me? More like, what's up with y'? Y've been acting weird all night".

He didn't mean to come out with it, but he needed to tell someone. He needed to let it out, otherwise he felt as if his brain was going to explode and his chest was going to burst; and it simply came out. Just like that;

"Izzy's pregnant", He heard Rae let out a sharp gasp before stuttering, "Wh... Wha'?" He took another drag and exhaled, "Izzy, she's pregnant and y' wanna 'ear the best part? It's not mine it's-", Chop was cut off by, "Chop, what are y' doing?" He and Rae sharply snapped their gaze to the pub back door, to see a pale-looking Izzy, Chop's gaze softened and he suddenly felt sober, "Iz, I-" Her eyes brimmed with tears before she hiccuped, turned and went back inside.

"Well goin', knobhead", Rae scoffed before turning and following Izzy. Chop took another drag of his cigarette, exhaled and then chucked it. He smacked his palm against his forehead, slurring, "Idiot".

He was torn between going inside and facing the music, or going home and recieving a shit ton of questions from everyone the following morning. He chose the second, as he could deal wtih the questions from the boys. He let out a sigh, stumbled properly to his feet and steadied himself; preparing himself for the long walk home.

"Where'd y' get to last night?" Archie asked as he flopped onto the armchair in Chop's living room, Chop was sprawled out on the couch. Chop shrugged, "Home, felt a bit sick and just couldn't be arsed stayin' out", Archie, not taking his eyes off the TV, sighed, "Fair enough", It was a Saturday meaning neither of the boys had college or work today and Archie or Finn always came round of a Saturday morning; just to watch Soccer AM and chill out.

But Chop was in no mood for small talk, he just wanted to sleep this sickness off and not speak to anybody today - last night's events drilled into his brain. But Archie was having none of it, especially since he knew something was wrong and wanted to get to the bottom of it. There was a pause, before Archie asked, "What happened with Rae and Izzy last night?" The mere mention of Izzy's name was enough to make Chop's stomach turn, he fidgeted as he had suddenly grew uncomfortable, "Nothin'", Archie rolled his eyes, "Didn't look like nothing", "Yeh, well it were. So, just drop it alright?" Chop snapped.

Archie widened his eyes at Chop's strop and exhaled, "Alright, whatever, man", The pair then fell into silence, once more. But once again, Chop broke it, "Wha's the plan for tonight then?" Archie shrugged, "Dunno, didn't know we were doin' anythin'", Chop scoffed, as if it were obvious, "Course we are, it's a Saturday. When have we not done anythin' on a Saturday?" "True".

Once again, silence. Only the results of Thursday's match between Manchester United and Chelsea were to be heard. The house phone then rang out throughout the house, in which Archie mumbled, "I'll get it" Before rising to his feet and left for the kitchen. Chop tuned in and only caught Archie's responds of, "Mmhm", "Yeah, three?" "Yeah", "Ok", "Alright, see y' at three".

A moment later, Archie returned back into the living room and took place back onto the armchair, "Looks like we're going out", Chop looked over his shoulder at Archie, frowning, "Y' what?" Archie smiled, "Johnny wants to do some band practice and then go the pub, so cheer the fuck up as tonight, Chopper, my friend, we are gonna get fucking steaming!" Archie beamed, in which Chop laughed and shook his head.

Another night of drinking? Fuck it, go on then.


	11. Chapter 11 - Izzy's part 1

It's amazing how much bullshit a person can hide, all by just a bit of make up or a simple smile. It's amazing how much a person can cover up with the words 'I'm fine'. Truly amazing.

Chop went to band practice that afternoon with a right face on, well to be fair; he was fucking sick of everything. Izzy and Rae weren't speaking to him, Archie wouldn't stop pestering him, and to top all that; he was so hungover. Last night's drunken and drug mishaps were a belter and the gang had got so unbelievebly drunk that everyone was staggering home by three, apart from Finn; who was nowhere to be seen.

But Chop regretted all those shots and doubles of everything, as his head ached and his stomach wouldn't stop lurching. Johnny had called a band practice, which were always held in Chop's garage. The band of four had been together for almost three years now, a drunken idea from Archie a time ago stemmed to this - The Four Corners. On bass was Finn, drums were Chop's, Archie took up guitar and Johnny sung - a mini Noel Gallagher was often his celebrity look-a-like; mainly cause of his haircut. The band had the lyrics of Morrisey with the sound of Oasis, you couldn't deny the gang were talented - even had a few fans. But they never took it seriously enough to put themselves out there, well three weren't - The forever moody Finn was only the one who took it so seriously, often getting a mard on whenever one of the lads took the piss and involved the others. Although they did their own stuff, they main covered their idols and influences, eg; Oasis, Blur, The Stone Roses, Happy Mondays, etc.

Chop wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, hangover sweats were the worst; more worse than doing a two mile run. Luckily for Chop, the boys weren't feeling a proper practice and Finn hadn't turned up; meaning Chop could laze about and take time out.

Once the band finished, the boys decided a pint was needed but instead of going straight to the pub, Chop decided he needed to sort things with Izzy out. He walked to her house, luckily only a ten minute walk away, and took a deep breath as he stood at the end of her path. Even her house raidiated happiness; which caused another wave of nerves to crash over him.

He made his way up the path and gave the door three knocks, it was only a few moments before the front door was opened to reveal a tired looking Izzy. She wore her hair up, a baggy and woollen jumper and joggers. She clutched a hot water bottle to her tummy and her cheeks were tear-stained, her eyes were puffed as if she had a serious case of hayfever. His heart heaved within his chest. He had to blink twice to make sure this was Izzy, as it more looked like a younger, sadder version of herself. It was like looking at a fourteen-year-old who had just had her first heart break.

"What d'you want?" She sniffed, his face softened as he spoke, "Look, I know ya don't wanna see me right now and what I did, y'know, telling Rae and that was wrong but I am sorry. I know I can't take it back but I wanna make it right again", She then sniffed and said nothing, which caused him to ramble on, "Please forgive me, what can I do to make it up to y'? I'll do anythin', 'onestly. I'll give y' a foot rub, well maybe not a foot rub as I don't like feet. I'll give y' a back massage, although I may be shite as me hands are rough but I-" She then smiled softly before cutting in, "Chop", He then stopped himself before asking, "Yeh?" She let out a small laugh, "Shut up", He bashfully smiled before softly saying, "Just know that I am sorry, like proper. I didn't mean to tell 'er, but I know Rae and she won't tell anyone. She ain't like Chloe or owt", She sighed, hugging the hot water bottle tighter to her stomach.

"Am I forgiven?" He asked, as innocently as he could. She couldn't help but smile, he could be cute when he wanted to be. She playfully rolled her eyes, "Yes, y' forgiven", He then gave her the biggest and most brightest grin before he took her face into his hands and gave her one of the biggest kisses he'd ever gave a girl, "I fuckin' love y', y'know" She then giggled, "I love y' two". He then pulled away, hands dropping to his sides as he said, "Listen, Iz, I've gotta run but I'll give y' a bell later, yeh?" She then nodded and watched as he turned, walked down the garden path and walked down the road.

She then turned back inside and headed for upstairs, where Rae was sat on Izzy's bed and Chloe was sat on the carpeted floor and in front of the body-length mirror; straightening her hair. Rae was flicking through the latest issue of NME magazine, Chloe swivelled around and asked, "Who were tha'?" "Chop", Izzy sighed as she flopped down on the bed. Rae and Chloe shared a look before Chloe asked, "And?" Izzy sat up and shrugged, "And, wha'?" "Well, is everythin' alright?" Izzy nodded, "Yep!" Chloe smiled and turned back to straightening her hair before switching off the straightners, resting them on the carpet before rising to her feet and turning to girls; clapping her hands together as she beamed, "Right, girls! Time t' get very, very drunk!"

As time past, the more the girls - excluding Izzy - drank and the more they grew tipsy - mainly Chloe. Eventually, Chloe passed out. Through the darkness, Rae whispered, "Iz? Y' awake?" Izzy then whispered back, "Yeh", There was a pause before Rae asked, "Fancy a cup of tea?" Izzy then whispered, "I thought y'd never ask", And the pair burst into a fit of low giggles.

Izzy watched as a mug of tea was placed before her, the steam drifting like a faint, grey cloud. Earl grey tea - one of life's small pleasures. Izzy brought the mug to her lips and gave the tea a blow; cooling it. Once cool enough, she took a sip - the warmth spread happiness around her body which even reached the tip of her toes.

Izzy sat on a barstool at the kitchen island, whilst Rae stood across from her. Rae took a swig of tea before setting the mug down, asking "So, 'ave y' decided wha' y' gonna do with... Y'know... ?" Izzy, unsure of how to answer, suddenly became interested in her own tea as she set it down and stirred it round; watching the tan coloured liquid swirl around and around... Watching it so intensly that it made her feel dizzy.

"I'm gonna get rid of it", Izzy finally admitted, in which Rae gave a small but sympathetic smile before asking, "Have y' told anyone?" Izzy shook her head, "No", Rae frowned, "Wha'? Not even y' mam?" "And wha'? Get kicked out? No chance", Izzy scoffed. Rae cocked an eyebrow, "Surely it can't be tha' bad", Izzy then gave Rae a look that shut Rae up.

The pair fell into silence and drank their tea, Rae grew lost in thoughts that were all jambled and weird, and Izzy stared blankly as she thought about the abortion; was it going to hurt? Would it take long? And all other kinds of questions ran through her mind. The constant thought and worry of her parents finding out kept on, somehow, worming it's way back into her mind. No way, they couldn't find out - they just couldn't. Her mum would murder her - not literally - and her dad would be so disappointed in her.

They weren't the easiest or laid back of people.

Isabelle "Izzy" Louise Jones, aged nineteen, born and raised in Stamford - where she currently lived with her mum and dad and couldn't see herself living anywhere else. Izzy would always be a Lincolnshire lass, unlike her older 22-year-old sister Tasha - who currently lived in India as she was travelling the globe. Izzy had always been a homebird and knew she'd end up raising her kids there when she was older. Izzy had always been a happy little thing, ever since she was a baby. Her personality was as fiery and untamed as her hair, but her hair wasn't the usual bright orange shade of ginger; it had a rare and weird tinge of ruby to it - which caused people to often ask if it was dyed. Izzy was pretty, but her constant happy expression that radiated upon her face made her just that extra bit of pretty. She was the shortest of the girls, standing at just over the five foot five inches mark. She was a skinny little thing and was often tormented in school for it, not that Izzy minded; she just brushed off remarks and snide comments with a smile along with a 'Have a nice day' If that person was being extra nasty. Her eyes were what often got people's attention; two huge, round and green eyes that were often glazed over as she was always in her own little world. She was a little firecracker and had one of the biggest heart's you could possibly imagine - not literally as she'd probably die. Izzy was never one for arguing, but someone pissed her off then she had a mean right hook on her if needed. If happiness was a person, then Izzy would be a perfect and prime example. There was a quote from a well-known book called 'The Twits' That suited Izzy perfectly well and that was;

"_If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely"._

A mantra and quote that Izzy lived by, funny enough.

Now, although Izzy was a lovely little thing - it didn't mean her parents were. Well, by parents more specifically - her mum. Now, her dad, Travis, was lovely and was where Izzy got her dosiness and happiness from. Her dad was a 60s spirit trapped in a modern day body. Despite being a lawyer, he still had a small pony tail that he had, had since he was 19... He was now 50. He and Izzy were two peas in a pod. Although he and Izzy were similar in personality, their looks couldn't be any more different. She a red head and he a brunette, she was short as where he was a lankly 6' 4". The only thing physically that Izzy inherited from her father - was her eyes. Big, green and the reason her mum was so attracted to her dad in the first place.

Now her dad may have been a cool and laid-back guy, who still listened to The Rolling Stones, The Stone Roses, The Beatles, etc. Didn't mean her mum was like that. Her mum, Jean, sure was a stunner - despite one or two wrinkles - and Izzy's older twin, was more uptight than a Duchess. Firm, strict and far from motherly, Izzy's mother never really bonded with Izzy - more with Tasha. Well, Tasha was her first born. Nontheless, Izzy and her mother would constantly butt heads and Izzy would then bitch about her with her dad and they would giggle behind Jean's back. Now, Jean wasn't like this when she first met Travis - she was far from uptight. By looking at her now, you wouldn't think this was the same woman who hitched three different rides and travelled for a total of ten hours with 9 different strangers to go and see Queen live when she was 16, or party with The Rolling Stones when she'd not long turned 19. Jean was a wild one... But that was all in the past and the moment after Izzy was born; she decided a drastic change was needed and she wasn't going to bring Izzy up in a carefree and hippy enviroment - why'd you think Tasha was such a free spirit?

Izzy knew her mum loved her and Jean just did what she did to protect Izzy, but sometimes it was just a bit too much and Izzy felt as if she couldn't breathe half the time - those moments her dad would step in and loosen the reins a little.

"Izzy, are y' even listening to me?" Her mum snapped, Izzy looked at her mum and her expression was enough to make Jean tut and roll her eyes. It was Tuesday, 8th December and another normal day in the Jones household. Izzy couldn't help but wonder what the gang had in store that night, secretly hoping nobody had anything planned and she could stay in; maybe even invite round for a few drinks and some videos - a repeat of last night. Then again Chop and Al were in the group... A quiet night in? No chance.

"Sorry, mum. I'm just tired, that's all", Izzy said with a sheepish smile. Jean, Izzy and Travis were all sat in their perfectly decorated and squeaky clean dining room, at their perfectly polished and varnished dining table. Jean and Travis were all ready and dressed for work in the courts, as where Izzy was still in her PJs as she didn't have college today as it was a Sunday.

Now, although Izzy wasn't due anywhere till this afternoon as the rest of the gang wanted to go the cafe for a fry-up; she liked getting up at half seven for breakfast with her parents. Although conversation was never really passed around, it was still classed as quality time as both her parents were lawyers; meaning long hours and cases halfway across the country were always on the agenda. "Right, well like I was saying I won't be back till tomorrow as I've got a case down in Manchester and your dad won't be back till ten tonight; so I want no parties and the house spotless", Her mum threatened. Izzy struggled to hold back an eyeroll, before then saying, "Yes, mum", She then finished her second piece of toast and the last drops of tea.

Another silence fell amongst the table, the rustle of her dad's newspaper and the clinking of cutlery to make up for lost conversation. Her mum then finished the last dregs of her coffee before checking her watch, "Right, it's quarter past eight. Travis, you ready?" Travis folded his paper and nodded, she gave him a tight lip smile before the pair rose to their feet; collecting their bits and exchanging small talk. Izzy stared in silence, her heart tightening at the physical contact between her parents. Although her mother was cold, it still wasn't enough to cover her love for Travis - twenty-five years of marriage and still in love as much as they were when they first met.

Izzy's thoughts then drifted onto whether she'd end up marrying Chop and sharing love for him like Jean did for Travis, wondering whether they'd have wild adventures at concerts and travelling across the country on a wing and prayer together - just like her parents. She then snapped out of it when Jean piped up, "Right, now Izzy I want Chloe and Rae out by ten, upstairs and the hallway hoovered as the living room was done last night, I want all dishes in the dishwasher, your room tidied and your bed made, there's clean laundry that needs to be put into the tumble dryer and dirty washing on top of the washing machine. Once you've done that then you can go out and meet all your friends, alright?" Izzy nodded, Jean then grew stiff; unsure of whether to give Izzy a hug or kiss.

She chose neither and just gave her a small smile before leaving for the hallway, Travis, however, went over to Izzy and gave her kiss on the top of her head, "Be good, kidda", And with that, her mum and dad were soon gone; and Izzy was alone. Something tugged at her chest as she stared at the empty seats her parents once occupied, when had she become so distant to them both? Even time with her dad was becoming a rare occurance. But not wanting to dip into horrible thoughts like that, she stood and began collecting the dirty dishes from the table.

That is, until the house phone rang throughout, she wandered through to the hallway where the housephone stood on it's stand on the small oak table underneath the mirror. She picked up the phone, clicked 'Accept' and answered with a chirpy, "Hi!" Finn breathed a smile and spoke in a ridiculous Irish accent, "Top 'o da mornin' t' y' Izzy! How's me lil' ginge?" She rolled her eyes, "She's good, how's my favourite short stuff?" He suddenly snapped out of the Irish accent and returned to his own as he playfully quipped, "Oi, cheeky bitch. I'm normal sized!"

The two shared a laugh before she asked, cradling the phone between her ear and shoulder as she made her way back through to the kitchen and collected the dishes and cutlery; taking them over to the dishwasher, "What's up, hun?" She heard him grumble a 'Fucking wasp' Before he then asked, "What are y' doing at around three?" She opened the dishwasher before slotting the dishes and silverwear in, "Nothin', why?" Another grumble of 'Ugh, fuck off, annoying buzzing bastard' Before he then asked, "Y' still comin' down the caf? Everyone's still in bed but the lads wanna go the cafe later", She then cradled the phone in her hand as she held it against her ear, popped in the dishwasher tablet and shut the door, "Urm, yeh sure. Who's goin'?" She heard Finn clicking his tongue as he thought about it before saying, "Me, Chop, Archers, Johnny, Johnny's girlfriend, Al, Rae and I think that's it", Izzy leaned against the kitchen units and nodded, before then remembering he couldn't see her nod, "Yeh, ok. Would it be alright if I invited Chloe?" She heard him suck in a breath in which she continued, "Please, Finn? Look I know y' two aren't on the best of terms at the minute, but she's still my mate", He sighed, "Yeh, alright then. See y' for three yeh?" She smiled, "Alright, see y' then" In which he gushed, "In a bit, our kid!" She giggled.

The pair hung up and Izzy glanced at the time on the clock on the wall: 8:22 AM. She huffed as she looked around the kitchen, the thought of waking Chloe and Rae up occupying her mind.

Izzy woke Rae and Chloe up with a cup of tea each, before both girls departed from Izzy's; all three of them deciding to meet at the cafe instead of meeting up at one of their places as the girls had things to do. Izzy had finished all her tasks for the day within two and a half hours, she even mopped the kitchen floors - well she had to as she'd accidentally split her tea. Plus, it would win major bonus points with her mum.

Izzy laid on her pink bed covers, flicking through 'Smash Hits' Magazine and listening to UK Top 40 singles chart on the radio. A new one by The Spice Girls blasted through her radio speakers, her foot tapped along to the beat; aside from Chloe, Izzy was the only one within the group that actually would admit she liked pop - the rest had too much pride and were far too "Cool" For that bubblegum pop shit.

Izzy glanced around her room, pink, white and Cath Kidston everything. How is it that someone as childish and mollycoddled as she could have gotten pregnant? How could someone who was secretly a four year old mentally had actually had sex? She just couldn't wrap her head around it. But she tried not to think about it as it always ended up turning into bad thoughts, and bad thoughts were things Izzy tended to avoid daily.

Izzy shut her magazine and chucked it to the end of the bed, sitting up and swinging her legs around; sitting on the edge of her bed and staring at her wardrobe - today's outfit now the occupiant of her mind. She stood and opened the glossy white doors, to be greeted by clothes, clothes and more clothes. She flicked through the fabric, taking out various tops and admiring them in her body length mirror. Eventually, she decided on a cute little flowery and floaty dress with black tights, her oversized denim jacket and maroon Dr. Martens. These Dr. Martens were a lend from Chloe, Izzy made a mental note to give them back tomorrow.

She laid her clothes out on her bed, smiling at her choice of outfit. She moved over to her chest of draws and pulled out a cute little underwear set - pink with little pugs on them - along with some frilly socks. Although she had already planned to wear thick, woollen tights; she decided socks were still needed as Stamford's icy winds were always the bane of Izzy's life. Izzy then grew wrapped up into thoughts of the day ahead, slowly sitting down upon her bed as she stared blankly. She had searched the abortion proccess on her dad's computer last night and with her not being that far along - five weeks exactly - she'd be given the pill abortion; which resulted to only the equivelant of a heavy period. But Izzy never got heavy periods, only light ones; never got cramps, back ache, mood swings or anything of the sort. Izzy was very lucky in that department.

Izzy slowly, coming out of her dazed stare, moved her gaze over to her memory wall - a big burst of colours, photos and concert tickets. Her, Finn and Rae had spent three hours on it last summer; there was even a polaroid snap of three, covered in paint and all smiles and laughter plastered on their faces after just finishing it. One Christmas four years ago, Izzy had asked for a polaroid camera and it had come in handy when she became a member of the gang - it was always in constant use. As it were evidant on Izzy's wall.

Izzy suddenly grew sad at the thought of the group seperating or any of them ever falling out and then growing up and moving on. Now, although Izzy adored Johnny and Al; she disliked the way the two had all of a sudden claimed group membership - making chances of the group splitting that little bit higher. Summer of 1995 was the first summer the originals of the group had spent together and Izzy couldn't believe how much the group had expanded since then, it may have been only three years ago; but Izzy couldn't help but feel a slight possessiveness over the group. They'd always been a group of five, always their own little gang and always in their own bubble - not giving a fuck about anything or anyone. Summer '95 was their year and many, many laughable and happy memories were made that year - many involving alcohol and drugs.

Izzy scanned her wall, tears brimmed her eyes and made her vision slightly fuzzy as she remembered each memory that belonged to each photograph. One polaroid had her, Archie, Chloe and Rae beaming and pulling mad poses around a sandcastle on Scarborough beach - Finn had just passed his driver's test which called for a mini road trip. Another polaroid had Finn, Chloe and Chop in Izzy's back garden at Izzy's house party back in August '96, Finn was doing some weird squat thing as he pointed at the camera, holding a beer in his other hand and pulled some mad face - obviously off his tits - Chop also pulled a mad face and made a wanking hand gesture and Chloe just tilted her head and pulled a big cheesy grin. Izzy took in one last polaroid - it was her favourite - it was of all the gang in the pub, on New Year's Eve back in '96 as they all sat around a table; on the photo Finn had his arm around Chloe and was pulling her in, putting up two fingers to the camera and pulling yet another mad face, Chloe just grinned, Archie was boring and just smiled, Izzy pulled a mad face and held up a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, Rae was grabbing Chop's face as he laid across her, Izzy and Archie whilst grinning and posing with his arms and legs all over the place. That was the last polaroid she could look at before her tears became too thick and completely glazed over her vision.

Izzy squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to swallow her tears away, tilting her head downwards before she pulled her feet up onto her bed and wrapped her arms around her legs as she held her knees to her chest. The thought of losing the group setting in, the thought of them judging her and slut shaming her frightened her, she was finally accepted in a group - a group she thought were going to be with her for life - and that group could suddenly turn on her. The reason why? Because she wasn't sure whether she actually wanted this abortion. This abortion was going against one of her biggest morals and beliefs, she couldn't go back on her own word; could she? Another thought then crept into her mind; Chop. She didn't deserve him, he was too good and forgiving for her - he should've called her out, broke it off, screamed and shouted her; called her a slag but he didn't. He forgave her, in fact, he begged for her forgiveness for even telling someone. He was her world, her everything and she almost lost him; due to a stupid mistake. But she couldn't take it back now and it was her own fault.

Izzy, the sweet one, the one everyone protected and guarded; was the one who had betrayed her most loved ones... Well, as they say, it's always the quiet ones.

She thought it over as she cried to herself, her shoulders shaking with every sob. If, now it was a big if, she kept this baby then she wondered how her mum and dad would react. She knew they wouldn't kick her out, despite being forever judged by them, they would make sure that she were safe with them; until she found her own place. She'd have to quit college, possibly making her job at the boutique in the high street full time and give up all chances of ever travelling the globe. Now, she thought about each member of the gang and how she think they'd react - excluding Chop and Rae as they already knew. Now, she knew Finn wouldn't say anything, not siding with anyone about it - but secrectly supporting her. He was like that. Obviously Chloe would be the main one to slut shame, despite it being majorly hypocritcal of her. Al would side with Finn and not get involved, Archie, despite being as lovely as he could be, would side with Chloe - this being based on the topic of teenage pregnancy being brought up once and Archie voiced his opinion of how wrong he thought it was. One person she couldn't really decide on the whole thing, would be Johnny. He wasn't open enough about stuff like this, always growing stiff and quickly sneaking off to the toilet to avoid the whole topic.

Once the tears stopped and the feeling of sadness left, she collected herself together and wiped away the few remaining tears upon her cheeks. She decided that she was going to go ahead with it, she needed to. She couldn't keep a baby, she was still a baby herself. But a conversation she once had with her mum last year haunted her, her mum had told her that when she was sixteen; she had fallen pregnant but had gotten an abortion. According to Jean, it still crept into her mind today. It stayed with you for life, the guilt and the wonder of what that child would be like now. Jean confessed that it still made her cry, even at random times and gave her nightmares.

Would it be like that for Izzy? Then again, grief and events like that effected people in different ways. Izzy just hoped it wouldn't be as bad for her, then again; Izzy being Izzy meant it was going to be even worse. She wasn't the best person at keeping it together when it came down to the sad stuff, Izzy had always been an overly emotional person; even as a kid.

"Stop fuckin' cryin'", Izzy scolded at herself, whilst roughly wiping away fresh tears. She then sniffed some more before rising to her feet and leaving for her bathroom, a big, bubble bath was well and truly needed before she headed to Sally's Cafe...

Sally's Cafe had first started in the summer of '70, and had been around since. Sally's Cafe was that typical, grubby but popular and succesful British cafe. One of the very few left in Stamford that had been around longer than ten years and still had customers. The breakfasts were famous and it were, where Finn and his dad used to come every Saturday after Finn's morning football practice from when Finn was six, right up until he was eleven when things started to crack within Finn's family. Sally's Cafe had seen some things in it's time, it was where every builder and hungover teenager in Stamford came every morning and afternoon to get their daily fill of grease. The gang were so well known in the cafe, that as soon as they walked in the staff began working on their orders as it were always the same. It was 'the' place, and plus the breakfasts were cheap, all day and clog-your-arteries greasy - what could be better?

"Do y' realise how much of a dickhead y' are?" Rae snapped at Finn, who sat with a sulk on. "No, please enlighten me. I would love t' know", Finn snapped back sarcastically before folding his arms across his chest with a huff. Izzy had obviously walked in at the wrong time. After a long bath, slowly getting ready and a long walk, she eventually made her way to the cafe and arrived around half three; to find Finn and Rae in another argument. Wonder what it was over this time, Finn had an extra pout on today and Rae, looking as beautiful as usual, frowned over her beans on toast - earning eyerolls from the rest of the group.

"Y'alright, beautiful!" Chop beamed, in which Izzy gave him a shy smile before taking a seat next to him. One-by-one the gang gave her, somewhat, a greeting. Izzy then, jokingly, mumbled to Chop in referral to Finn and Rae, "What are they arguin' about now?" He picked up his mug of coffee and shrugged, "Dunno, I think Rae and Archie were discussing summat on telly and Finn being Finn had t' get involved", Izzy then rolled her eyes, "Nothing knew there then", Which earned a laugh from Chop before he took a sip of his coffee.

As time passed, laughter was shared and Izzy couldn't help but feel at peace. How could she had thought that they would ever slut shame her? How could she think they would judge her and kick her out the group? Finn then huffed, snapping Izzy out of her thoughts as he announced, "Right, I'm in need for some cigs; anyone wanna come with me?" In which Chop piped up, "Yeh, man as I need some as well", Archie then nodded, "Yeh as I need fresh air", Rae then rolled her eyes, "We might as well all just go", In which the gang couldn't help but laugh.

As the gang collected their bits and left the cafe, they all walked like one big clique. Izzy, grinning, looked around her and couldn't help but think about how cool they were - and she was right. It was as if they were in a scene from some cool, teen film - as if they were walking in slow motion (Although they're not 90s and it's a modern song, it does help if you listen to 'Do I wanna know' by Arctic Monkeys for the next part; ok, carry on...)

Al had his arm carelessly draped over Rae's shoulder, Rae and Chloe shared a laugh, Finn - who now wore his infamous sunglasses and had a rollie hanging out of his mouth - had his arm around Johnny who had his arm around Finn's waist as they sung the chorus of 'I Am The Ressurection' In each other's faces at the top of their lungs and Chop had his arm around Izzy's shoulders, pulling her in as he kissed the top of her head before Archie dived onto his back and then moved around to Chop's free side and shook Chop shoulders playfully. They may have just looked like a gang of boisterous teens to outsiders, but to the gang; they were the coolest motherfuckers in the whole of Lincolnshire.


	12. Chapter 12 - Archie's part 1

As the gang began to walk from the cafe, making the journey to the pub - Archie froze and the gang turned to him, smiles all around. Johnny then piped up, "Y' not comin', Archie Bald?" Archie shook his head, "Nah, gotta run an errand for my nan. But, I'll catch up, yeh?" Johnny shrugged, "Alright, our kid. Take care, yeh?" Archie nodded, and with that the gang left him.

Archie then turned and began the journey to the local bookshop, entering and the small bell above gave out a pathetic 'Ding'. Barney, an old and odd character, looked up from an old and worn book as he stood behind the counter. He gave Archie a warm smile before gushing, "Ah, young Archie! Was wondering when I was going to see your face today!" Archie then smiled before making his way over to Barney, "Alright, Barn? Need any help today?" Barney then nodded, "Ah yes! There's a new stock in the back that needs putting away and I can't climb the ladder as my back's in agony", "Where abouts in the back?" "Second shelf, box on the left", Archie then said nothing further and headed for the back.

Archie had been volunteering in the bookshop since he was thirteen, a favour for accidentally smashing Barney's front window in; now a regular Sunday activity. Archie entered the stockroom, finding the large cardboard box of books before pulling it down and gently resting it upon the floor. Archie then crouched down and ripped open the box, he glanced around before taking out one of the books - the spine yet to be cracked and the pages yet to be turned. He then took a sniff, the smell of a new book like porn to his eyes.

He then smiled before lifting the box and cradling it as he walked back through to the shop, heading for the 'Romance' Section as the books were new copies of 'Gone With The Wind'. Archie, cradling six or seven books to his chest, climbed up the ladder to the second shelf. As he began to neatly put the glossed books away, he heard the bell ding before glancing at the clock on the wall before his heart skipped a few beats... Knowing exactly who had entered the shop. Putting the books away in miraculous timing, he jumped down from the ladder and wove in-n-out of the aisles - sneaking behind the 'Mystery' Section - ironic.

Archie then quietly took out a book, now getting a clear view of the sight before him... And it sure was beautiful - six foot, green eyes and jet-black hair kind of beautiful. Archie watched as the stranger before him read through a copy of "Jack The Ripper - Crazy or Clever?" A favourite of Archie's. This little scene a routine for the past six weeks, that's how long this beautiful stranger had been coming in for. He was definitely new to Stamford and didn't go to the college, Archie definitely would've saw him. He was stunning, so stunning that he could even give Finn a run for his money. Archie always admired the boy as if he were a piece of art, he was a bit on the lanky-side but had just that right amount of muscle that made him appear filled-out, cat-like deep green eyes that could be often mistaken for blue in a certain light, head of jet black waved curls that wound masterfully round each other and framed a handsome but young-looking face, a straight (well despite one or two teeth crooked on the bottom) and well-looked after smile that Archie couldn't help but smile at whenever the boy would laugh at a page in a book, a firm jawline - an accenting feature - and he was definitely of Spanish descent as his skin was a beautiful olive. But his eyes were Archie's favourite thing as soon as he'd so much as get a glimpse of those downcast greens; Archie would fall to pieces.

"It's illegal to peep y'know", Spoke a deep voice, it was smooth; like velvet. Archie then stuttered and widened his eyes, "I-I'm so-sorry, I didn't... I.." The lad then looked up from underneath his lashes with a smile before continuing with charm and smoothness, "S'ok, but usually when someone stares at me this long they buy me a drink", Giving a wink, which caused Archie to grin sheepishly and a slight blush radiate upon his cheeks. The lad then closed his book and placed it back onto the shelf, now blocking Archie's view of the lad's perfect face. Not wanting the lad to go, Archie followed him as the lad moved down the aisle; before they met the end and Archie, adjusting his glasses, nervously stuttered, "Well, 'ow 'bout I make it up t' y'? Maybe take y' for a coffee?" The lad, amused twinkling within his eyes began walking ahead when Archie called after him, "Is that a yes or a no?" The lad spoke over his shoulder with a smirk, "Where'd y' think I'm going?"

Archie Nelson, like the others excluding Chop, was a Stamford baby. Nineteen years on and Archie couldn't see himself living anywhere else. He was a very handsome lad with a sharp jawline and a bashful smile. Like Finn and Chop, Archie was also a cheeky but bright boy, ever since he could speak. He had a good sense of humor and always knew the right thing to say, apart from when he was four and developed a God-awful stutter. Even the most simplest of words would be a challenge, which damaged his self-confidence a great amount through primary; up until his first year of High School where his nan took him to a speech therapist. Archie was never bullied but wasn't popular, just the right amount of friends to get him through his school years - especially with Finn being his cousin and personal bodyguard if some twat stepped out of line. Ever since young, Archie had always been kind and caring; constantly wanting to help, even if it were as simple as unloading the food shopping or walking an old lady across the road. Like it was written, Archie was a handsome lad; well he was a Nelson, after all. A sharp jawline and a sharp mind, but unlike Finn's golden brown iris's, Archie had beautiful sea-greens that were rimmed by large and square glasses that were too big for his face; but his killer smile and charm helped him pull them off. As much as Finn loved his cousin, he found him very odd and often wondered why Archie never played football with him; but instead sat away from the boys and read - keeping himself to himself. Little did Finn know that Archie didn't want to be 'one of the boys' but more _**with **_one of the boys. If it wasn't obvious enough, then just to clear it up now; Archie was, indeed, very, very gay.

And he fucking loved it.

Archie couldn't keep the smile from his face, the coffee date with the stranger had gone brilliantly - so brilliantly Archie would be seeing him again tonight, at the pub. He discovered his name was Aaron, was an Aries (Very important, thanks to Rae who converted Archie into believing in all that horoscope bullshit.), was seventeen, went to sixth form (Hence why Archie hadn't saw him round college.) Where he studied A-level History and read the works of Edgar Allen Poe in his spare time. So, basically, to Archie: The boy was perfect.

Archie bounced into his house with a spring in his step, the excitement to tell his nan about how his little coffee date went and Aaron - aside from Rae, Archie's nan, Carol, was the only one who knew that Archie was gay. And another thing that Rae knew that no one else did, was the condition that Carol was currently in - Finn being related to Archie through his dad's side and Carol was Archie's mum's mum, meaning Finn never really bothered with Carol and never knew how fast Carol was deteriorating.

Archie was a part time carerer for his nan, sharing a rota with his uncle Ben. Carol had dementia, developed it around six years ago but was only diagnosed three years ago when she was returned by the police at two in the morning as she tried to find Archie's granddad who passed over fifteen years ago - that following morning a series of tests were run and both Archie and Ben were correct, it was dementia. Although his nan couldn't do the simple things such as feed herself or clean herself, there were some parts of her brain that still worked; parts that let her remember Archie and his sexuality. Archie being the only person she could fully remember.

"Nan! I'm home!" Archie called out through the small, two-bedroom home. Although Archie was up to date with all things modern, he loved how retro and vintage the house was - antique clocks and ornaments surrounded the house. Whenever Archie would return home from a night in the pub with the gang and listening to Blur and Happy Mondays, he felt as if he had stepped back in time as the smell of mothballs and soap would fill up his senses. He entered the living room to see his nan in her usual spot on the old and worn fabricated armchair, eyes glued to the telly as Supermarket Sweep was on.

"Oh, nan! Y' don't watch this garbage do y'?" Archie grimaced as he took place on the couch, she then frowned at him, "Ay, less of tha' now. It's good this... This program. Oh, wha's it's bloody name? It's presented by tha' fella, y'know, one with 'air", Archie couldn't help but laugh at Carol's ramblings before he then helped her out a little by answering her with raised eyebrows, "Supermarket Sweep?" She then shook her head, waving a hand at him as she frowned in thought, "Nooo! Tha's not it! It's got tha' man on it, one who looks a bit orange!" Archie let out a giggle, "Y' mean, Supermarket Sweep, nan?" She then clicked her fingers and pointed at him, "Tha's the one! Where would I be without y' ay?" He rolled his eyes but couldn't keep this smile from spilling onto his lips.

A silence fell between the two as they grew engrossed in the program before Archie then beamed, "Ay, guess wha', nan. I went on a date today", "Ooh tha's nice, son. Wha's he like?" Archie couldn't help but blush as he beamed to his nan, "He's gorgeous, nan! Big green eyes, dead tanned and tall. He's dead smart, is in sixth form down at the school", Carol gave him a gentle smile as she became wrapped in her own memories, "Ah, I remember when me and y' grandfather first started courtin'. He used to always take me t' all these fancy places and we used t' dance until our feet 'urt", Archie gave a laugh before she continued, her face softening with remembrance, "Used t' spoil me, did y' grandfather. There wasn't a day tha' went by where he didn't tell me he loved me, always callin' me beautiful. Right soppy sod!" And from happy to sad, Archie felt his heart tightened as she then said, "Speakin' of y' grandfather, I wonder where he's bloody got t'! He only went the shop for some milk", Archie then sighed, "I'm sure he'll be back soon, nan", He then rose to his feet, "I'm gonna go make a cuppa, want one?" "I'd love one but we've got no milk, would y' mind runnin' t' shop and seein' where that barmy ol' man has got t'?" Archie gave her a small smile and nodded, "I'll be back soon, yeh?"

Archie knew that his Uncle Ben would be round soon to take over and give Carol her dinner, so, instead of returning home; he headed straight for the pub where the gang were already all sat at their regular table - even Finn was there. Archie was still not used to Finn looking like a walking war wound, curious as to how he had gotten himself so roughed up. Now, Archie knew Finn had a short fuse but he'd never seen him in such a bad state as Finn always made sure his opponent never so much as even get a punch in.

Archie shrugged it off, as he knew his older cousin could hold his own and was alright - Finn wouldn't be here if he wasn't. Archie's fingers drummed against the unvarnished and chipped table with nerves as he scoped out the packed room, Aaron nowhere in sight. Rae, mid conversation with Chloe, took a sip of her pint and turned to Archie and lowly asked, "S'wrong with y'?" Archie hesitated, surely he could tell her? Well she already knew he was gay so... Why not?

He sighed and nodded towards the bar, "Come the bar with me?" She placed her pint down on a beer mat and the pair rose to their feet, making their way over to the bar; feeling a pair green iris's pierce into them; ironically the colour of jealousy. Rae leaned against the bar before cocking an eyebrow at Archie and asking, "Sooo?" In which Archie gushed, a bashful grin upon his lips, "I've met someone, Rae", Which caused Rae to grin and gasp, "No way! Who?" Archie went to respond when that familiar deep and smooth tone spoke into Archie's ear, "Archie?" Archie and Rae turned to see a timid looking Aaron, Archie then smiled before turning to Rae, "Rae this is-" He was cut off by Aaron shaking Rae's hand, "Aaron, nice to meet y', gorgeous", In which Rae gave Archie an amused smirk before turning back to Aaron, "Well nice t' meet y', Aaron. I'm Rae and any friend of Archie Bald's is a friend of mine, would y' like a pint?"

After introductions all round, the night was filled with alcohol, banter and laughter; the group welcoming Aaron with open arms. All aside from Finn, who eyed the mysterious boy; only mumbling one word replies and excusing himself to go the bar every now and again - despite Rae scolding him most of the night for being a grumpy tit. Now, Finn didn't mind Aaron; in fact he thought he was quite sound with good music taste, he just didn't like how everybody fawned over him, the way he charmed Rae with little smirks and words and mainly because of the way Archie looked at him as if he... Fancied him? The 'accidental' touches, the smiles, the looks, the blushing... No way. Archie couldn't, Archie was straight. No way was a cousin of Finn's a gayer, not that Finn was homophobic; or anything of the sort but Archie couldn't be gay. He just couldn't.

As the night grew on and it got to just passed ten, the street lights winking as they lit the darkened pavements, Aaron excused himself to go for a cigarette and Archie followed; claiming he wanted some air - which wasn't a complete lie as Archie was steaming; as was Aaron. The pair stumbled out the pub with a laugh and a few mumbles before Aaron rested against the brick wall of the pub, Archie stood closely in front of him, Aaron slurred, "Tha' Finn, lad don't like me", In which Archie drunkenly scoffed, scrunching his face up before slurring, "Nooo! He does! He's just like tha' with everyone, he's alright once y' get t' know 'im!" Which Aaron smirked, "Tha' codeword for 'es a dick'ed but y' get used t' 'im?" In which Archie giggled, "Pretty much", The pair shared a drunken laugh, Archie closing the gap between their bodies a little bit more. Aaron then asked, "I'm guessin' y' ain't told 'em y' gay then?" Archie shook his head, "Well! I've told Rae", Aaron nodded, taking it in, "I like Rae, she's nice", Archie laughed, once more, "Yeh, she's the best", His words coming out as slow as he moved his face in towards Aaron's, their eyes glazing over as they grew drunk on the closeness and the contact of each other, in which Archie then planted a kiss on Aaron's lips before pulling away and stuttering, "Shit, I-I'm sorry I-" But was cut off by Aaron grabbing Archie by the scruff of the neck and joining their lips once more.

"What the fu...ck?" Slurred a voice, which made the two pull apart. They looked to see a drunken Finn, who then realised it was Archie and Aaron. The confusion in Finn's eyes turned into rage as his face scrunched in anger before Archie pushed Aaron away and stuttered, "Ugh, wh-wha' y' doin'!?" In which Aaron glared at Archie in shock, the fucking coward. Finn then stumbled towards them before Finn landed a punch upon Aaron's nose, which created a sickening crunch; causing him to fly back into the wall and slid to the floor with a thud. Aaron clutched his nose that now poured with blood, Finn glowered down at Aaron, "Y' fuckin' sicko", Before turning to Archie, tears of anger brimmed his eyes before he sniffed and shot Archie a snarl, "An' y' just... Just stay away from me", Before he glanced at Aaron once more and stormed off into the darkness, the dim glow of the streetlamps above enough for Archie to make out the faint outline of Finn; before he completely disappeared.

Archie then bent down and helped Aaron up, who pushed Archie away; once on his feet, "Don't touch me", "Aaron I-" Aaron cut him off with a wave of his hand before he whimpered, "Don't, Archie", Before he then disappeared off into the night. Archie sighed, feeling a wave of sadness wash over him before he linked his hands to the back of his head, now suddenly sober, and he shouted into thin air, "Fuck!" Before tilting his head towards the sky, tossing his hands up and looking around.

Well done, Archie.

Archie tossed and turned all night before drifting off into an uneven sleep around five in the morning, he woke for twelve; luckily his uncle Ben did Tuesdays. He was awoken by a knock on the door, a moment passed before Ben popped his head in and lowly asked, "Archie?" Archie tiredly responded with a 'Yeh?' In which Ben then asked, "Listen, we've ran out of bread. Will y' the pop t' the shops and get us a loaf?" Archie picked up his glasses off his bedside table and sat up, nodded and sent his uncle Ben a tired smile, "Cheers, Archers", Was the last words Ben spoke before he left Archie be.

Archie glanced outside to see it was a grim day, grey clouds all round - the exact match to Archie's darkening mood. Archie then frowned, why was he in such a bad mood? It then hit him, it were as if someone had put last night's events on a video tape and replayed them in Archie's head. He let out a groan and went to throw himself back in a huff, when he whacked his head on the headboard of his bed; he sighed and laid there; fed up... Well today was certainly going to be eventful.

Once showered, dressed and more awake; Archie made the walk to Green Lane Shops - a place Archie hated more than any place in the whole of Stamford. He'd rather wank Aaron off in front Finn than go to Green Lane on his own, Rae not being the only target of torment. Luckily Big G and his gang of sheep were nowhere in sight, meaning the walk was easier than usual - much to Archie's hungover pleasure.

Archie picked up a loaf of Warbutons and headed over to the counter, where the shop owner - a kind soul - named Mrs. Roberts greeted Archie with a smile as he handed over the loaf and told her, "Just tha' please", "Y' alright, Archie? Not seen y' for a while", He gave her a shy smile, adjusting his glasses, "Y'know me, Pat. Just been busy in college and stuff", "Y' not courting?" He shook his head, "Nah, 'aven't got time", She then gave an eyeroll but a soft smile as she took Archie's money, tapping into the till and opening it before getting out the correct change, "Y' need a break, y' do. Y' should go out, find y'self a nice girl" _**or guy**_, Archie thought as he mustered an awkward laugh before taking the change and loaf, "Well, listen I've gotta run but y' take care, Pat", "Y' too, Archie. Say 'ello t' y' Gran fer me!" In which he called over his shoulder, "Will do!" Before leaving the shop.

As he walked, he began to whistle a little tune to himself. The tune was cut short as a shoulder shoved into Archie's and pushed him into a brick wall, he winced as his shoulder came into contact with the hard surface. He shut his eyes as he knew what was coming.

"Alright, gay boy. Was wonderin' when y' was gonna show", Spoke Big G, his voice laced with mockery and amusement. Archie gave out an inward sigh, bending down to pick up his loaf off the floor as he'd dropped it in shock. As he bent down, he felt a kick come into contact with his stomach; knocking the wind out of him and causing him to cough and splutter; hearing Big G and the other two lads fall to bits laughing as they loomed over Archie, before Big G then seethed, "Look at y', fuckin' faggot. Bet y' like bein' on y' knees don't y', y' fuckin-" Big G was then cut off by being shoved against the wall and held up by his throat, letting out a whimper.

Archie looked up to see Finn, pinning Big G up against the wall by his throat; rage in Finn's eyes that Archie had never seen before. Finn then spat in Big G's face, "Go on, say it. Tell 'im he's a faggot again, I fuckin' dare y'", In which Big G whimpered, "Please, Finn. Don't, don't hit me! I was just messin' with him!" Finn then scoffed a laugh, "Yeh, cause bootin' 'im in the ribs is such a fuckin' laugh, ain't it. Is it a laugh if I do it t' y'? IS IT!?" In which Big G rapidly shook his head before Finn then seethed once more, "Now, if I see y' and y' gang of twats near 'im or Rae ever again, I will fuckin' curl y's up, rip y' insides out and wrap 'em round y' fuckin' neck, alright?" Big G then rapidly nodded, eyes wide with fear. Before Finn threw him aside, Big G and his mates then scurried away with their tails between their legs.

Finn watched them, making sure they were gone; his chest heaving up and down as he calmed his raging temper. He then turned to Archie, "Y'alright?" Before lending a hand to Archie and helping him up, Archie cradled the loaf of bread underneath an arm as he rose to his feet. Archie awaited for Finn to laid a load onto him or storm off, but instead Finn then said, "I fancy a pasty, d'you?"

Archie and Finn sat on a bench, outside a Sayer's in the high street. Archie sat with the loaf of squished bread on his knees as he chomped on a sausage roll, whilst Finn chewed a steak and kidney pasty. A silence laid thick between the two before Finn swallowed some pasty, frowned and asked as he stared ahead, "When... When were y' gonna tell me?" He then worked up the courage and looked at Archie, who sighed and shrugged; suddenly growing timid, "I was gonna... Eventually, in fact I was gonna tell y' all together but I just didn't know when", He huffed before growing soft, "Why didn't y' tell me?" Archie chewed the inside of his cheek before he shamefully admitted, "I was too scared", Finn shook his head, taking a bite of his pasty and said through a mouthful of savoury, "Why? Not like I'd judged y' or owt", Archie wiped his cheek, "Y' just spat on me", the two boys shared a look before sharing a laugh.

A moment of silence passed before Finn swallowed his food and then spoke, not looking at Archie but towards the ground as he shyly admitted, "Archie, I-I don't care if y' gay. Sure, it'll take some time gettin' used t' but doesn't mean I don't love y' any less, y' still my cousin. Just my very gay cousin", In which Archie snorted a laugh and Finn gave a smirk before he grew serious once more, "But in all seriousness, just so y'know that I am alright with it and I'm sure the gang will be too", "Rae is", Which caused Finn to frown, "Rae knows?" Archie gave him a look before Finn shook his head, unable to stop the smile spilling on his lips, "Swear, she knows everythin'", "Tha's Rae for y'".

Finn finished his last bite of pasty before scrunching up the small paper bag into a small ball and asking, "Y' gonna see tha' Aaron lad again?" Archie shook his head, causing Finn to frown; he really needed to stop doing that, "Wha'? Why not?" "After last night? No chance", Archie scoffed before taking a bite of his sausage roll, Finn sucked in a breath, "Yeh, sorry about tha'. Just a bit shock, tha's all", "Oh, it weren't y' fault! It were mine", "I'm sure he'll give y' a second chance if y' went and talked t' 'im", In which Archie sighed before looking at Finn and saying, dead-pan serious, "Yeh maybe... If I knew where he lived", The boys then shared a look before doubling over with laughter.


	13. Chapter 13 - Finn's part 2 - smut

After going his seperate ways with Archie, Finn made his way to the address his dad had gave him - The place being just on the outskirts of town and in the poshest of the posh areas; making Finn feel majorly out of place. He took a deep breath before making his way up the stone and gravel path, that led up to a house that loomed over Finn - it looked like a place that Finn thought only footballers lived in. Marble pillars, french windows, a Mercedez Benz pulled up outside, a front lawn wide enough to be classed as a field - it was overwhelming to say the least.

Finn made his way up the porch steps and gave two knocks on the door, it wasn't too long before Nelly opened the door - off his tits on something as his eyes were like saucers. He then boomed, "Ahhh Finny boy! Me pride and joy, was wonderin' when y' were gonna come!" He then pulled Finn in by his head and planted a big smooch on his forehead, before he ruffled his hair and wandered inside, wavering over his shoulder for Finn to follow. Finn trailed timidly behind, closing the door after him. Finn swallowed nervously as he glanced around the foyer, how the fuck did his dad manage a place like this? It was paradise...

Finn followed Nelly through to the main living room - this being one of several. Finn entered the living room and it was huge. The theme white and open, marble flooring, tall statues of naked woman placed around the room, a large sheep-skin rug laid underneath a large glass coffee table where a big titted, bottle blonde sat, doing a line of only God knows what. Nelly then beamed, looking around with his arms out before he flung an arm around Finn's shoulders, "Wha' y' think, son!? Told y' I'd pull through didn't I?!" Finn exhaled and nodded, disbelief upon his features. Nelly then grinned before wandering over to the long, white and fabricated corner couch, "Well, all thanks to the lovely Kelly over 'ere", The blonde then sat up, rubbing her nose before smiling and pointing the small tube at Finn and asking, "Want some? Fuckin' good shit this", She shared a laugh with Nelly.

Finn then shook his head, putting up a hand, "No, ta. Not into it'", Kelly then looked at Nelly and the pair shared a snigger before Nelly then pressed, "Jesus, Finn! 'ave taught y' nothin'?! Always say yes to free drugs, despite bein' "into it" or not, ain't tha' right, babes?" He said as he rubbed Kelly's arm, in which she nodded. Finn then huffed, "I said no, ta". A moment passed before Nelly, widened his eyes, "Right then, anways. Come sit down, makin' me feel on edge, son!" And Finn did what he was told. Nelly snorted the line that Kelly had offered Finn before rubbing his nose and raising his eyebrows as he sat up and pointed at Finn, "Ooh, ay! I've gotta surprise for y'!" Finn cocked an eyebrow, Nelly then gave a whistle; as if commanding a dog before he called out, "Oi! Jamie, gobshite! Got a present 'ere for y'!"

Finn felt his chest tighten and his lips go dry, he turned to his dad and asked, "Jamie as in-" But was cut off by a big loud and high pitched "FIIIINN!" And two small and skinny arms flung around his neck. The arms belonging to Finn's ten year old brother, Jamie. Finn felt his breath catch in the back of throat before he wrapped his arms around the little lad's body, he hadn't seem him in over an entire year. That reason being when Finn's mum died, Finn's nan was giving custody of Jamie and the two were seperated as although Finn's nan lived in Stamford, she deprived Finn and Nelly all access to seeing Jamie - Nelly was proven unfit to take care of him. Jamie sat on Finn's knee as the two pulled apart, Jamie beamed at Finn; which showed two missing front teeth.

"Don't wanna break up this lil' reunion but just know tha' Jay's only down for the week and then he's gotta go back but, let's enjoy it while it lasts, ay, lads!" Nelly beamed, Finn then frowned, "'Ow the fuck did y' manage tha'?" Nelly smirked and tapped his nose, "I 'ave me ways", He then tucked his hands behind his head, placed his feet onto the table and suck back into the couch; Kelly crawled up beside him and rested her head on his chest as the two looked at the boys, "Right, as nice as this lil' family time is, Finn I need y' t' do me a favour, be a good lad and take Jamie t' school", Finn frowned glancing at the clock before back at his dad, "Dad, it's like 'alf eleven. He's missed like 'alf the day", Nelly shrugged, not giving a toss, "I know but just tell 'em he was at the doctor's or summat. I'd take 'im but y'know", Finn then sighed and went to argue back when Nelly butted in, "I said, take Jamie t' school, Finn", Before turning and landed a big, sloppily kiss upon Kelly's lips, which caused Finn to grimace. Finn lifted Jamie off his knee, rose to his feet and lead Jamie out of the living room; leaving his dad and Kelly to do whatever dirty habits they got up to.

Judging by Jamie's uniform, he went to one of the two private primary school's in Stamford. As it grew to past twelve, Jamie told Finn there'd be no point taking him in till one as he'd only be on his lunch break - basically a way of getting Finn to buy him chips. As the pair walked through the high street, sharing a bag of grease, salt and vinegar, Finn asked, "So, 'ow's it been at Nan's? Been alright?" Jamie shrugged, chomping on a chip, "S'alright. Borin' though, like she won't even let me 'ave a playstation!" Finn, taking a chip and taking a bit, smirked a little before using the faux shocked tone that Chloe used on Janie, "Really!? Well tha's shit!" "Tha's wha' I said!" In which Finn let out a loud laugh and shook his head, "J, mate, y' can't swear! It's rude!" Jamie frowned, looking up at Finn from under his school cap, "Y' do!" Finn, finishing his chip, rolled his eyes, "Yeh, but tha's different, J. I'm allowed t'", "Why?" Finn shrugged, "Just am".

The pair continued to walk down the high street in silence before Finn asked, "Finished?" In an eyebrow raised referral to the chips. Jamie nodded, in which Finn then tossed the chips over his shoulder; spilling them over a couple behind him, scattering them across the streets and earning a few shouts - which Finn tossed the V over his head at them and earned a roar of laughter from Jamie.

Now, although with the gang Finn was quite boisterious; he was still quite quiet. Always keeping himself to himself, even around Rae; never showing how much of a little shit he could be. Before Finn's mum died and both her and the two lads all lived together - Nelly always in and out of their lives - Finn was a right little tyrant, especially around Jamie; as Finn had nothing to care about - he often wondered how he got into college as throughout school he was a bad slacker and always gave his teacher's constant shit, thinking he was the dog's bollocks and the cock of the school. Even around the gang he was a dickhead, always pulling pranks in school with Chop and chasing skirts with every chance he got; shouting his mouth off and always finding himself in detention - even pushing it as far as loosing his virginity behind the school's bike shed in risk of getting caught because he could do what the fuck he wanted. Well, so he thought. That is, until the moment his mum died, Jamie was taken away and his dad left - meaning Finn had to grow up quicker than expected; hence why he locked his schoolboy behaviour away and restrained himself from letting go too much - coming off more as a twat than grown up. But in this moment with Jamie, he let himself go, let himself be that little knobhead that desperately begged to be let out.

Finn and Jamie turned a corner, leaving the high street and heading for the park. Jamie, out of the blue, then asked, "Finn, when can I come live with y'?" Finn felt his chest tighten and his heart slowly breaking, he forced a closed lip smile at Jamie before saying, "Soon, yeh, mate?" Jamie then nodded before asking, "D'ya promise?" "Promise", the more they walked, the more Finn's idea grew. That is, until he then said, "Y'know wha', fuck it. C'mon!" He said, softly knocking the back of his hand against Jamie's shoulder before wavering him to follow as he made a left, in which Jamie followed.

"'ere are, where's Finn?" Chop whispered to Rae, Al and Archie, who looked frowned - so used to Finn being a part of them that they hadn't noticed him missing. The four were sat at their table in their afternoon class at college, Rae, who was currently chewing the end of her pen, looked at Chop and shrugged; just as clueless as he was. Archie looked around before frowning and whispering, "Ay, Chloe's not in as well. D'ya reckon they're... Y'know...?" He whispered, moving his hand in a circular motion as he couldn't find the decent words to form the sentence properly, in which Rae shifted, uncomfortable for some reason before she frowned and shook her head, whispering back, "No as Chlo's at the doctor's today and plus, they're still not speakin'", Al, who was currently balancing a pen on the bridge of his nose and leaning back on his chair, scoffed and whispered, "Tha's wha' she says, bet y' right now they're at it like fuckin' rabits, I'm tellin y'".

Rae glowered at him, her lips parting as she shook her head before she smacked him across the back of the head; which made his chair and himself fly back onto the floor with a thud and the whole classroom burst into hysterics. Al, smiling smugly, rose to his feet and put up his hands to everyone before mockingly bowing, in which the whole class whistled and applauded him. Kathryn, the tutor, huffed, "Thank y', Mr. Richards for brightening up our Monday afternoon, now back to work please", In which Al smirked and took place back at the table. Archie shook his head, smiling as he got back to work, Chop slid his hand across the table and shared a low five with Al, Rae said nothing and rolled her eyes; trying her best to ignore the nagging feeling that niggled away at the pit of her stomach.

She wasn't arsed about them two together... Was she? No! Course she wasn't, they'd been together two years - well give or take - So, she wasn't jealous; curious perhaps? Yep, that was it. She was just curious, despite the image of Chloe and Finn having wild and vigurous sex popping into her mind and her suddenly feeling a flutter of anger. She snapped out of her... Vivid thoughts when Al rubbed her arm and whispered, "So, y' stayin' at 'ome tonight or?" Rae shook her head and whispered back, "Mum wants me t' come round for tea, so am gonna stay over", Al then raised his eyebrows and sarcastically quipped, "Makes a change", She frowned and snapped in a whisper, "S'tha' supposed t' mean?" He gave her a smug but harsh smile as he whispered, "Just thought, since Chloe and Finn are on a break then y'd be right round Finn's", She huffed, rolling her eyes but she didn't respond as she couldn't lie; going to see Finn had crossed her mind.

A lot.

Finn decided that Jamie missing one day of school wouldn't hurt and took him for a drive, but not just around Stamford but all the way to Nottingham. As they drove for miles, they blasted music - Finn surprised and proud with how many songs Jamie knew - and screamed lyrics at the top of their lungs. At one point, Finn let Jamie sit on his knee and steer the wheel; whilst he did the gas and breaks.

As Jamie sat in the passenger's seat, he watched the passing scenery out the window; nodding his head to the beat and singing the lyrics underneath his breath. Finn couldn't stop the smile from spilling onto his lips, picturing this to be him and his kid in the future; picking him up after school and just driving for hours together - just laughing off the bollocking the two would get off Chloe when they'd return home. Yes, he did see him and Chloe still having kids together... Which is what kicked off his next idea.

He was nineteen, had his own place, went to college, had a job... So, why couldn't he have Jamie come live with him, for keeps? He could take his nan to court over it surely? No, he was going to; he decided in that moment, there and then that he was going to fight for custody of Jamie; even if it killed him.

Finn and Jamie returned back to Nelly's for half ten, as they climbed out the car; they shared a giggle and messed about - Finn picked Jamie up and chucked him over his shoulder, earning a screech and giggle from Jamie. As they entered the house, Finn called out, "Dad? We're back!" Dropping Jamie gently from his shoulder, before Nelly then called out, "Finn? Get fuckin' in 'ere now!" Finn frowned, pushing Jamie behind him as he recognised Nelly's tone, before he made his way through to the main living room where Kelly, tear-stained, and a female police officer sat upon the couch. A furious Nelly and a male police officer stood, all four of them looked at Finn and Jamie; who were extremely confused.

"Finn, where the 'ell 'ave y' two been?!" Nelly roared, "Went for a drive, why?" Nelly scoffed, incredulous with Finn's cool response, "Why!? I've been goin' out me fuckin' mind! 'ad t' call the police and everythin'! No phone call or owt!" Finn rolled his eyes, "Well we're back now, so chill out!" In which Nelly gave Finn a death glare, which set Finn on edge; Nelly then turned to the officers, "Look sorry for wasting y' time, I'll show y' out yeh?" Nelly then led the police officers out, a few moments passed before the front door open and slammed shut and then Nelly returned, storming in and over to the couch.

A tense silence fell upon them as Nelly took out a small, clear packet of white powder and a tiny tube - a drinking straw cut in half, basically. He emptied the packet onto the table, angrily cut it up and snorted it in one swift movement, rubbing his nose and then snapped at Jamie, "J, go upstairs", Jamie stayed still, unmoving. Nelly scoffed before threatening, "Jamie, I said go upstairs", Jamie, working up the courage, snapped back, "No", In which Nelly cocked an eyebrow, "Sorry?" "I said no, I don't want t'", Finn could see Nelly was about to explode, so he softly said to Jamie, "J, do wha' dad says", Jamie then shook his head, "No, I want t' stay with y'!" Nelly clicked his fingers and pointed at Finn, "See!" He said pointing back and forth between Finn and Jamie before continuing, "S'all y' fault!" Finn scoffed, "Mine!? 'ow the fuck's it my fault!?" "Ever since y've been 'ere, tha' little shit 'as been nothin' but trouble!" Kelly then piped up, "Oh, c'mon, babe. He's done nothin' wrong", Nelly then back handed her across the face, which Finn stepped forward and roared, "Whoa, wha' the fuck y' doin'?!" But cowered back slightly as Nelly rose to his feet.

Nelly then seethed at Finn, "It's always y' fault, y' like an infection, y' are. Ever since y've came back nothin' 'as gone right. Y' were the biggest mistake I ever made, now fuck off and don't come back", Finn stayed still, which infuriated Nelly more and caused him to roar, "ARE Y' FUCKIN' DEAF AS WELL AS STUPID!? I SAID GET OUT!" Finn's chest tightened as his breath caught in the back of his throat, he then glowered and turned, storming out the house without a word. He then jogged down the porch steps, over to his car and climbed in. He then hit the steering wheel angrily and roared, "Fuck's sake!" Trying to ignore the burning hurt that pierced his chest.

He then heard a muffled, "FINN!" He looked to his left as Jamie jogged down the porch steps and raced over to the car, Jamie swung open the door and sobbed, "Please don't go, Finn. Please", Finn sighed, his heart breaking at his brother's pleas, "J, I've gotta, mate. I'm sorry, but I can't stay", "Then take me with y'", Jamie begged. Finn shook his head, "I can't, mate", Jamie whimpered and pressed, "Please, Finn", Finn thought about it before softly saying, "Get in", Jamie climbed in, slamming the door behind him; Finn then put the car into drive and drove into the night.

Not helping his saddening mood, "Fake Plastic Trees" By the well known band Radiohead lulled throughout the speakers, but Finn didn't have the energy to shut it off and just let the words and beat take him away into pensive thought. He looked to his left and saw Jamie was fast asleep, he let out a sigh and the realisation that he couldn't do it swiftly hit him; how could he have been so silly into thinking he could look after him? How could he have been so stupid into thinking he could actually take care of a child on his own?

Hence why he found himself outside of her house - finding out through Al that she was at her home away from home - a house he used to call his second home when he was growing up. He looked up at the house, her bedroom light the only one on; he couldn't stop the smile from forming as he grew lost in memories; one memory being how every night back in the summer of '91 he 13 and she 12 he'd climb up that drain pipe and knock on her bedroom window - the pair climbing out and going for a midnight mess about in the park.

He then rested his forehead on the wheel and let out an exhale, he then jumped a little as he heard a knock on the car window. He looked up to see Rae, even in the moonlight; her eyes still shined - so big and brown. She stepped aside as he opened the door, he noticed the oh-so-famous "Tube of toothpaste" Dressing gown and let out a snort of laughter, "Lovin' the dressin' gown", In which she rolled her eyes and playfully quipped, "Ta, fresh from Vogue". He then exhaled once more and sat back, staring ahead as he breathed out, "I fucked up, Rae", She then sarcastically but playfully quipped, "Why doesn't that surprise me?" He then looked at her, dead pan serious, "No, Rae. I've really done it this time", She went to respond when she noticed Jamie, fast asleep, on the passenger's seat, "Is tha'?" Her face fell before she sighed, "Ohhhh, fu...ck". He then nodded, "Yep, oh fuck".

Finn climbed out the car, gently shutting the car door after him before moving round and opening the passenger's side door; gently lifting Jamie out of the car and placing him in bridal position and holding him tightly to his chest; shutting the car door with his foot. He moved round to Rae, careful not to wake Jamie. The pair then moved towards the house and headed inside, the familiar feeling of warmth washed over Finn and the smell of cinnamon candles slithered into his senses; instantly relaxing him and comforted him - he was home.

Rae quietly shut the door after them, the sound of the TV came from within the living room; signalling Linda, Rae's mum and her husband Karim were still up. Rae signalled Finn for her to follow him, the pair then entered the living room and Linda then spoke over her shoulder, "Rae what are y'-" Cutting herself off as she turned and looked, her face fell as she noticed Finn with Jamie in his arms before she bellowed, "Wha' the bleedin' 'ell 'ave y' two been doin' now!?"

Which caused Finn and Rae to toss a look between each other, suddenly feeling ten years old again.

After calming Linda down, she agreed to let Finn and Jamie stay; with the agreement that Finn stayed on the floor in Rae's room and Jamie stayed in Rae's brother's old room - as Linda knew she couldn't completely seperate Finn and Rae, learning this from when they were kids.

Before Linda and Karim headed to bed, Linda threw in that there were half a bottle of vodka and a bottle Jack Daniels in the pantry; hence the reason why Rae and Finn were now sat in the bathtub, rotten drunk. Finn sat with his legs dangling over the bathtub, by the tap end and he drunk the JD. Rae sat the opposite end, her legs over Finn and she drunk the vodka - both of their bottles down to the last few drops.

Finn and Rae let out a drunken laugh but slightly hushed as they were reminiscing in low slurrs - trying to not wake anyone within the house - about the time the gang were out one summer, back in '93 and the lads had built a bridge with planks of wood and large rocks to cross the sewers down by the Rutlands, to cross over to the Blue Bridge Field - just for a laugh. When Finn was the only one left to cross, he lost his footing and went flying.

As their laughter calmed down, Rae then slurred, "And then Chloe started moanin' cause she'd got a ladder in 'er tights", Finn snorted a laugh before he slurred, "Could've smacked 'er", The pair shared a smile before Finn shifted slightly, wincing, sucked in a breath and exhaled in which Rae asked, "Y' ribs still sore?" He nodded, she then asked, "Seriously, 'ow the fuck did y' get in such a state?" He sighed, knowing he was going have to tell her eventually, "Me dad, he urm got into a little bit of trouble. Was about to get his 'ed stood on, so I jumped in and well, this 'appened", Rae's eyes widened, "Bloody 'ell, why were they at y' dad's in the first place?" "He owed this man some money or summat stupid", He then downed the remainders of his bottle before sloppily pointing a finger at Rae and playfully threatening, "Y' can't tell anyone", She sloppily smacked a finger to her lips, like a child, which caused Finn to burst into a fit of hysterics which Rae smacked his shoulder, "Shurrup otherwise me mum will 'ear y'!" His laughter then quietened before a silence fell between the two.

She then cooed, "Aww, I've missed this. I've missed it bein' just me and y'. Remember when we used to do this", He smiled at the memory, "Yeh, when we used to sneak back here the mornin' after we used to go down to The Kraze every Saturday, thinkin' we were the coolest people ever", The Kraze being the shit for thirteen year olds, a miniture rave held in some old barn conversion - hosted by one of the posher kids. She cringed but laughed, scrunching up her nose, "Aww don't, Finn. Worst ever, whenever we'd come back and drink alchopops in 'ere and fall asleep", He snorted a laugh before her eyes widened and she gasped before smacking his shoulder, "Remember when y' snogged Nora Fisher!" He then cringed, replicating Rae's nose scrunch, "Urrrgh, don't! God, she were minger 'er!" The pair shared a laugh before he then nodded at her, "Saw 'er the other day, down the high street. She's pregnant", Rae gasped, "No way!" She then shrugged, "Don't surprise me, it were comin'", He then laughed a little before the pair grew silent once more.

He frowned before speaking, as if thinking aloud, "Wha' 'appened t' us, Rae?" She frowned, scoffing, "The fuck y' on about?" He sighed, "Us, me an' y'. We used t' be dead close and now, well I'm lucky t' get five minutes alone with y'", She sighed, taking a swig of vodka and frowned in thought, "Guess when y' got with Chloe and I got with Al, we kinda grew up and well we 'ad our own stuff goin' on", He paused before slurring, "I didn't wanna get with Chloe", She then cocked an eyebrow, "Pardon?" He looked at her, amusement twinkling in his eyes, "I only did it t' make y' jealous", She rolled her eyes, "Oh piss off".

He then sharply looked at her, "I'm bein' serious, Rae", "But why?" He gave her a look, "Do I really 'ave t' spell it out?" She then scrunched up her face, sitting up properly and bringing her knees to her chest, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, 'ang on! Y'... Y' fancy me?" He pointed a finger at her, "Bingo", "Since when!?" He then spoke in a mocking tone, that kind of tone kids used to take the piss out of each other, "Uhhh since forever", She took in his face, he was serious. He huffed, "But it's wha'ever, don't matter now really does it", Her lips slightly parted and her forehead knitted together, incredulous, "'Ang on, 'ow the fu... When... So, y' sayin' all this time y've tormented me, been a dick'ed t' me and got with me best mate all cause y' fancy me!?" "Rae I-" She then cut him off, "So, when y' used t' flirt with all those girls down The Kraze in front of me, is 'cause y' wanted to make me jealous?" "Rae, lis-" "Oh well tha's just fuckin' fantastic, tha' is" She sarcastically quipped, in which he then snapped, "Rae!" "Oh for fuck's sake wha'!?" He then swivelled his legs round, kneeled up and leaned over; smashing his lips into his her's.

He then pulled away but hoovered her, breathing heavily as his eyes darkened, head tilting slightly as he took her face in. She slid a hand up his chest and rested it on his face - brushing his hair off his face. Everything about this was so... Intimate, without actually being intimate. It spoke something more than the actual sex did. It were as if they were two teenagers about to lose their virginity for the first time - nervous but exciting. She then slurred, "Finn I-" He cut her off with her head shake, his voice heavy, "No, don't... Don't ruin it, look. Y' and I both know what we want, now, tell me t' stop and I will or we can do this, get it out of our systems and not speak of this again", She then said nothing but pulled him in by his black 'Grunge Is Dead' T-shirt and rejoined their lips once more.

They groped and grabbed every inch of each other, feeling as much of one another as they could. Their breath's came out short as they pulled away, just to strip down. Well, by stripping down; Rae took off her dressing gown, underwear and PJ pants but left her top on. Finn ripped off his top, with the help of Rae. The pair helped Finn unbuckle his jeans, sliding them off along with his boxers and chucking them out of the bath; their movements sloppy and hazy due to the effects of their alcohol intake.

Once naked/half-naked, they skipped the four-played and went straight for it. Finn then froze, at her entrance and asked, " Wait! I 'aven't got any johnnies", She then smirked, "Good job I'm on the pill ain't it", he laughed a little, cupping her cheek with one hand as he kissed her and used his other hand to guide himself to her entrance and thrusted into her; causing her to let out a moan and he threw his hand to her mouth and the pair shared a giggle before their eyes glazed over and he rolled his hips into her; his movements slow due to the squeak of the bathtub and her mum's bedroom right next door.

It didn't take long for Rae to adjust to his size, as Al was an inch longer and a bit more thicker; sometimes his size unbearable as where Finn's was the perfect size - both width and length - meaning she went straight from pain to pleasure and Rae couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy that other girls had felt this pleasure, the way he knew positions and what angle to take her from to hit her spot proving there had been a good few numbers of girl before her.

It took every fibre in his being not to quicken his pace, he wanted to hear her scream, whimper his name. He buried his face into the crook of her neck and hissed as her long nails dug into his back, the pair finding the space a little more awkward. They shared a low laugh as they tried to find the most comfortable position, as time grew on and the both were growing to their peak; Finn latched his lips to her neck once more, planting feather light kisses upon her neck with the odd teeth grazing here and there - the temptation to bite her neck and collarbones to leave a mark, strong, something Finn had fantasized about once or twice.

Finn tried to surpress a smile, he'd finally done it. He'd finally shagged her, his heart raced at how good her skin felt beneath his fingertips, how his name left her lips in a low whimper and how right this felt. It may have only been half an hour, but it felt like hours. They reached their peak and Finn's movements became sloppy before they came to a complete stop. She then jokingly slurred, "Maybe this is why we don't spend time together anymore", He took a moment to register what she said before the pair burst into low laughter, he then let out an exhausted sigh and rested his forehead on her chest, faint beads of sweat glistened upon his back and forehead.

As his head laid on her chest, he closed her eyes and he felt her hand grow lost in his damp hair as she began to gently play with it; calming him. In that moment, everything felt right. This was where he was supposed to be, with her. Sure, tomorrow they'd have to go back to reality as Rae had Al and he'd eventually have to patch things with Chloe, give or take a week or two. But until then, he just laid there; the feel of her fingers as they twirled strands of his hair and the rise and fall of her chest lulled him and before he knew it, he'd fallen into a sleep.

And for once, he didn't dream of anything weird or anything frightening like he usually did and simply let himself dream of nothing; for the first time in a year Finn had let himself fall into a comfort sleep - not waking up in fear once.


	14. Chapter 14

The following morning Rae and Finn woke with two nasty hangovers, deciding a fry up was best; Well more like a 'Rae fry-up' As Finn couldn't cook for shit - but he could make a lovely cup of tea when he wanted. He stuck the kettle under the tap, accidently overfilling it so that water overflowed from the top. He sighed, setting the kettle down as water dripped from his hands. He turned, flicking his fingers at Rae so beads of water settled over her baggy top. She scowled at him, wiping herself down as he laughed silently at the look on her face. He thought it was bloody adorable. Turning the kettle on, he left it to boil and jumped up onto the kitchen counter, sitting on the work surface. His legs dangling freely swung back and forth knocking against the cupboard doors, she swatted his leg, "Oi, pack it in", He then pulled a face at her but brought his legs to a still.

Rae poured oil into a pan, turning the heat up as she chucked the sausages in, "Oh! By the way, Al called t' say 'im and the lads are goin' down the the caf' for eleven if y' up for it", Finn frowned, "'Ow did he know I was 'ere?" She sighed, turning and resting against the kitchen units, "'Cause he rung before and asked if I'd seen y' and I told 'im y' were 'ere", He tensed slightly, angling his eyebrows in multiple positions as he asked, "Was he pissed off?" She folded her arms, shrugging, "He weren't 'appy about it but s'Al for y'", He then laughed a little as he looked down before he grew serious as she asked, "So, wha' y' gonna do about J?" He shrugged, looking around before she exhaled; careful with her words, "Finn, y'know y've gotta take 'im back", He snapped his head up and bit back, "I _**know**_, Rae. I know but it's just..." He looked down, picking at his nails as continued, "I can't take 'im back t' dad's", "So, where's he gonna go?" He scoffed, looking up, "Back t' me nan's, he's gonna 'ave t'".

A moment passed before she then offered, "Listen, I've gotta go see Kester but I'll be done about three. So, if y' go the caf' and then meet me, I'll come with y'", "Y' sure?" She nodded, "Positive", He gave her a soft smile before he asked, "'Ow's it goin' with Kester?" She rolled her eyes but didn't stop the smile from forming onto her lips, "Y'know, Kester, always teachin' me the ways t' life an' all tha' bullshit", She said, waving her hands in a mock mystical way in which he snorted a laugh before asking, "Y'know anythin' 'bout y' new therapist?" She shook her head, "Nope, but I meet 'im in two weeks", "Want me t' come with y'?" She shook her head, "No, ta. Al's takin' me", Finn slowly nodded, taking it in.

A moment passed, the only sounds to be the sizzle from the frying pan and the bubbling of the kettle. That is, until Finn asked, timid, "Rae, are... Are we alright?" He then looked at her, and she gave him that infamous Rae half smile before she nodded, "Yeh, we're alright", He gave her a small smile, in which she playfully scrunched her nose at him and he replicated the face before she turned to the frying pan and he jumped down, attending to the kettle; the two returning back to normal.

"Baby Spice doesn't shit, I am tellin' y'!" Finn heard Chop boom through the cafe, Finn placed a hand on Jamie's back and led him over to the table where Chop, Archie, Al and Johnny sat. Chop and Al sat one side, Johnny and Archie opposite - leaving two seats open. Finn gave a smirk and piped up as he smacked Chop on the back, "What y' bangin' on about now, y'!?" In which Chop beamed at Finn and earned smiles from the other lads - well aside from Al, who just looked up at Finn with a blank expression - "Alright, Finny boy", Chop then noticed Jamie and buzzed, "No way! Is this... No, this can't be lil' Jamie!" Chop then looked at Jamie and put out an hand, in which Jamie went to slap his hand down but Chop snatch his hand away and playfully jeered, "Ner ner, too slow!" Which earned a laugh from all the lads as Jamie dived at Chop before Chop hoisted Jamie onto his knee, despite the fact there was a perfectly good seat in between him and Al.

Finn moved round the table and took the free space in between Johnny and Archie, before Chop then asked, "Where'd y' get t' last night? Been ringin' y' all mornin'", Finn fidgeting slightly, glancing at Al - who smiled smugly but his eyes were like two dark slits - before responding with, "Stayed in Rae's mum's", Chop frowned, "Why? S'gone on?" Finn shook his head, not wanting to get into it, "Listen I'll tell y' later, but right now I want a big, fat cup of tea and t' chill y' out", Finn then called out to the lady behind the counter, "Trace, can I 'ave a cup o' tea please?" In which the woman nodded and Finn winked at her, "Cheers, babe! Y're a diamond", Before he turned back to the lads and they grew into a debate over whether Baby Spice shits or not.

Once Tracy brought over Finn's tea and the conversation grew too grewsome, Chop then piped up; clapping his hands together, "Right, lads, we need t' discuss the camping trip!" This camping trip being a yearly tradition that started six years ago. Chop then continued, "Me and Archie were discussing it last night and we've agreed on two weekends from now, we'll all meet up for eight on the Friday morning which means we'll get there for ten and leave for four on the Sunday night", Johnny, Finn and Al took it in, nodding before Johnny then asked, "Who's driving and tha'?" Chop then piped up, "I am and since Finn's been doin' it for two years we kinda figured he'd be the second driver, if tha's alright with y', Finn?" Finn nodded, "Tha's sound with me", Chop then continued, "And I asked Al earlier if he was alright bein' the third driver, we've sorted that Archers and Johnny'll drive together, me and Iz, Chlo and Al and Rae and Finn", Off Finn's look, Archie butted in, "We just didn't wanna put y' and Chloe together as well... Y'know", In which Finn shrugged, "Fair do's".

As time grew on, the more banter and just general boy chat was tossed between the lads; but Finn couldn't shift the uncomfortable feeling he felt as Al stared at him every so often. As time grew on, Finn couldn't help but glance at the clock; only to come up disappointed as it had only just gone one. To pass a bit of time, Finn then asked Chop, "Chopper, where's Iz?" Through a mouthful of hash brown and red sauce, Chop mumbled, "Dunno, 'ome I'm guessin'", Finn cocked an eyebrow, "Didn't she stay at your's?" Chop shook his head, swallowing his food before he continued, "Nah, she's got the doctor's", Finn shifted slightly, now he was interested, "She alright?" Chop took a swig of his coffee before huffing and glancing nervously between Al and Johnny as Archie had excused himself to go the toilet a mere five minutes ago, "Tell y' later".

Finn then frowned, growing wrapped up in thoughts of worry, aside from Rae; Izzy was the only girl Finn ever bothered with as he adored her and saw her as his little sister, his very hippy and flower-power little sister. Aside from a few drunken shags, the pair never really fancied each other, not even for a day. Finn thought he did when he was fourteen and they got into a water fight, but that was because he was horny and she had a pair of tits. Finn then made a mental note to go and see Izzy after he'd dropped Jamie off, that is...

If he dropped Jamie off.

Izzy took a deep breath as she stood outside the clinic, she looked up through her heart shaped tinted sunglasses; squinting as although the air was chilly, the sun was blazing. Izzy pushed open the door, walked through and regret along with guilt immediately set in. The inside was all formal, old water-stained magazines and the smell of anti-septic. The colours of the room were grey, white, black and royal blue. Izzy placed her sunglasses on top of her head, pushing her untamed curls off of her face as she walked up the reception desk. She earned a judgemental glance from the middle-aged and overweight receptionist who glanced up, asking in a dull tone, "Welcome to Women's Now clinic, where we're not only your doctors but your friends and here to lend a helping hand. How may I help you?" Her posh and morbid tone crashed nerves into Izzy more, Izzy then stuttered, "I-I 'ave an appointment", the woman then cocked an eyebrow, "Name?" "Isabelle Jones", The woman then typed slowly away at the computer before handing over a clipboard, form and pen before saying, "Fill this out please and don't miss any details out", Izzy then nodded before giving a nervous smile and making her way over to the waiting area then sat upon one of the royal blue, tweed seats.

The room was quiet and only had her and the woman behind the desk within the room, Izzy's knee bounced nervously; making the words on the form mix and look all jambled; that and Izzy's dyslexia made the words impossible to read. She took a deep breath and glanced at the clock that hung slightly tilted upon the wall; Izzy couldn't stop the smile that spread out onto her lips as she thought about how mad Rae would go at the clock being crooked. Izzy's smile dropped as she caught glance of the receptionist who gave Izzy a weird look before Izzy then dropped her gaze onto the clip board; but couldn't help but suck in a breath and nervously exhale as the sound of the clock grew louder.

_**Tick... Tick... Tick...**_

And Izzy's ears twitched as she picked up the sounds of the receptionist's ballpoint pen tapping against a notepad.

_**Tap... Tap... Tap...**_

Izzy's knee bounced more with nerves as the sounds grew louder, the more she grew intune with them.

_**Tap... Tick... Tap... Tick...**_

Was she doing the right thing?

_**Tap... Tick... TAP... TICK...**_

Maybe she could keep it... Put it up for adoption. It didn't always have to be this way, her chest was growing tighter and tighter; she could feel her emotions welling to boiling point.

_**TAP... TICK... TAP... TI-**_

"Isabelle Jones?" Called out a nurse, but was greeted by the sound of the entrance doors slamming shut.

Izzy ran, ran until her feet ached, her skull felt as if it was caving in on her brain and to the point of where she thought her ribs were going to crush her heart. She came to a halt outside of the psychiatric hospital, where a very confused looking Rae was walking down the steps of the entrance, "Wha' y' doin' 'ere? Thought we weren't meeting till half four?" Izzy exhaled, shaking her head; years of school cross country running came in handy sometimes as she wasn't as worn out as she thought she was, "I couldn't do it, Rae. I couldn't I..." Rae's eyes widened as she paused before walking down the last step, "Whaddya mean?" Izzy, breath now caught, sighed, "I couldn't... I couldn't go through with it, alright? I just... I was there and I was filling out this form and there was a clock and these magazines and I-" "Izzy!" Rae snapped, pulling Izzy out of her rant, "Right, take a deep breath, yeh?" Izzy nodded as Rae placed a hand on either of Izzy's shoulders before the pair took a deep breath in for five and then exhaled for five.

"Right, now _**slowly **_tell me wha' 'appened?" Rae spoke before dropping her hands to her sides, "I couldn't do it, Rae. I couldn't go through with it", Izzy then huffed, in which Rae frowned before then widening her eyes, "Y' wha'?! Well, then wha' y' gonna do? Cause y' obviously can't keep it", Izzy looked down at the floor before looking around and fidgeting, "I'm gonna 'ave t', Rae", Izzy then looked up, speaking more confidently as if confirming the words with herself, "I'm gonna keep it, I'm gonna keep the baby", Which caused Rae's mouth to drop into an 'O' In a silent shock.

Sometimes Finn was better handling situations like this than Rae, with Finn you didn't get dramatics or shouting; you just got a huff of anger and then a storming off.

"Hi, mum", Finn breathed as he took place on the grass, sitting before his mother's headstone. He noted the fresh flowers that laid in the little flower pot, he pointed slightly; as if pointing them out to her, "See nan's been, was with her before as I dropped Jamie off and thought I'd come see y' on me way 'ome", He gave an awkward laugh before picking at some grass and looking around as he was unable to find anything to speak about, and he weren't one for conversation at the best of times.

As he picked at some grass and looked down, he then nervously stuttered, "I-I told Rae tha' I liked 'er, mum. Last night, y' remember Rae, don't y'?" He paused before sighing, "Course y' do, could never keep us apart when we were kids. But yeh, told 'er I fancied 'er. I stayed over and yeh, but I know I shouldn't of cause of Al but..." He took a moment, thinking about his following sentence and how to place it carefully, "Does it make me a bad person, mum? I just... I just dunno wha' t' do", He shamefully admitted with an exhale of defeat before whimpering, "I really miss y', y'know, mum. It's just, it's proper 'ard. Dad isn't copin', I mean I'm alright but some days-" He stopped himself, his eyes flickering as he could feel the tears brimming his eyes as he looked to his left and exhaled shakily. He swallowed his tears before he asked, his words wavering as the sadness poured out through his sentence, "Just gimme a sign, mum. Gimme a sign of wha' t' do, cause I 'aven't got a fuckin' clue an I-" "Finn?" Spoke a voice, cutting him off.

Finn glanced up to see Chloe, he cleared his voice before asking, "Chloe? Wha' y' doin' 'ere?" "Just came down to see me granddad and nana on me way home", She said, pointing her index finger over her shoulder before sighing and picking at her nails; growing insecure and awkward as a tension fell between the two. "'Ow 'ave y'-" "Wha 'ave y'-" The pair both spoke before stopping and then telling the other to go first before Chloe gave in and asked, "I was just gonna ask, 'ow've y' been?" He shrugged, scratching the back of his ear as he looked around, "Been alright, y'know. You?" She nodded, looking down and around, "Yeh, same".

Another silence fell between the two and they both felt it, it may not have even been a week but they felt it; the sadness as it kicked away at their chest. Finn could feel that familiar pang of guilt as Rae entered his mind, last night's occurings burnt into his brain; he was such a dick. He drank Chloe in and could only feel pure love for her, it wasn't Rae he loved; but it was Chloe. He really fucking loved her and if he wasn't such a stubborn dick then he'd give in, say he was sorry and take her back to his place where he'd fuck her brains out and then cuddle her; apologise so much he'd think his tongue would fall out.

As if Chloe had read his mind, she threw her hands up and shook her head, "Look, Finn, this is really fuckin' stupid. Why don't we go back t' your's and 'ave a talk?" He then looked at his mother's headstone, smiling as if this was her sign for him. He then looked at Chloe and nodded, before rising to his feet and wiping away excess grass from his jeans before he and Chloe began to walk; in which Finn mouthed "Thank you" Over his and Chloe's shoulder to his mum's gravestone.

"Seriously, 'ow the fuck does Finn trust y' but not me with a key?" Rae huffed as her and Izzy flopped themselves onto Finn's couch, the flat empty bar them two as Finn had yet to come home. Izzy then frowned, "Wha' y' tryin' t' say?" "Well, I'm not the one who's up the duff", In which Izzy gasped and playfully whacked Rae with a couch pillow in which the two shared a giggle as Izzy then shouted, "Cheeky bitch", Their laughter quietened as Izzy flicked through the channels on the TV and Rae looked around before asking, "Wonder where Finn is", In which her questioned was answered as the front door opened and closed before the sound of feet and giggles... Rae's smile faltered as she recognised the giggle.

And she was correct, as Chloe and Finn stumbled in, his arms around her waist and his lips attacking her neck, Chloe's giggles came to an abrupt halt and Finn's grin dropped as soon as the pair noticed the two figures upon the couch, "Oh, iya", Chloe spoke, adjusting herself as Finn pulled away. Rae swallowed the sudden pain in her chest as Finn's infamous frown appeared upon his face, he then cocked an eyebrow, "Wha' y' two doin' 'ere?" Izzy went to speak when Rae butted in, "Nowt, just came t' keep Iz company till y' came back and now tha' y' 'ave, I'm off", She then rose to her feet before mumbling, "Gotta 'elp my mum out", She then quickly scarpered in which Chloe frowned and called out, "Rae?" Finn then piped up, "I'll go see 'er", Before Chloe could protest, Finn then quickly ran out after Rae. Chloe then sulked, folding her arms and pushing her tonuge against her bottom lip.

"Rae! For fuck's sake, Rae, will y' just wait a minute!" Finn huffed as he ran outside, Rae was already halfway across the road before she paused and turned to Finn; who was now on the curb, chest rising and falling as he caught his breath - he really needed to cut back on the rollies. "Wha' Finn?" Her tone was full of tiredness and defeat, a tone Finn had never heard Rae use before. He then exhaled before scuffing his feet, unable to find the right words, "Look I'm... I'm sorry for, for leadin' y' on and tha'. Last night, it shouldn't 'ave 'appened and I know it was wrong, and I was a dick for doin' it an-" "So, wha' all tha' 'I fancy ya' Talk were just "Leading me on as well"?" He then shook his head, "No, tha' was the truth. I do fancy y', Rae, always 'ave done but I don't love y', well not in the way I love Chloe", Rae shook her head, pushing her tonuge against her bottom lip, "Y'know wha' I can't be arsed with this anymore", She spat. He frowned, taken aback, "S'tha' supposed t' mean?" And it just came out, like spew;

"It means I am so fuckin' sick t' death of y' usin' me all the fuckin' time, Finn. I can't do it, anymore. I am just sick of lookin' after y', always there for y' when y' and Chloe fight, pickin' up the pieces and then always gettin' fuckin' dropped when y' get back together. Well, I'm done with it, Finn", She huffed, in which he then glowered before seething, "Y' think y've got it so fuckin' hard, don't y?" "An' wha' tha's supposed t' mean?" She spat, folding her arms. He then shook his head, mumbling, "Nowt, don't matter", In which she pressed, "No, go on, y've said it now", He sighed before the anger took over and all he could see is red;

"It's just, y' make out as if y' wipe me arse every five fuckin' minutes when y' forget it were _**me **_tha' found y' tha' night, _**me **_tha' came t' see y' every fuckin' day when you were down the hospital, _**me **_tha' warned y' about Archie tha' time, _**me **_tha' y' go t' every time y' and Al 'ave an argument, _**me **_tha' twatted that knob'ed by the shops for callin' y' all sorts and _**me **_tha' takes all the shit from y'. Y'know wha' I'm also sick of? Everyone thinkin' I'm so fuckin' thick and I 'ave it easy, when the fact is me mum's dead, me dad left to practically fuckin' fend for myself, leavin' me with next t' nothing, I can't see me little brother anymore and I found my best friend pouring with blood one night as she tried to kill 'erself. So, don't ever fuckin' sit there and tell me tha' y've got it 'ard, Rae, when y' 'ave no idea. All y' moan about is y' weight and 'ow everyone fuckin' judges y', well y'know wha'? If y' don't like it then do summat about it!" Her breath caught in the back of her throat and tears sprang to her eyes at his last words, his face fell before he then stuttered, "R-Rae, I didn't mean it like tha I-" She cut him off with a head shake, "No, y' did and it's ok but y'know wha', Finn? Maybe I was wrong, maybe y' and Chloe are perfect for each other after all", And with that, she turned and scurried off.

"Rae!" He called once more before growling with anger and then tilting his head back, closing his eyes before a clap of thunder was heard. He reopened his eyes and shouted to above, "Wha'?! Wha' d'ya want me t' do!? Y' gave me a sign and I went with it, I made up with Chloe. Wha' else d'ya want me t' do!?" Another clap of thunder was heard before a massive down pour of rain soaked Finn, he then sighed and roared, "Yeh, ta for tha', mum! Real fuckin' 'elp!" He shook his head before turning and jogging back down the garden path, he then took his key out and made his way back inside the block of flats, unable to stop the feeling of self hate wriggling it's way into his stomach.


	15. Chapter 15

Rae walked down the high street, walker headphones in and the world on mute. Rae thought over the past few days, more importantly; that night. Her wrists, arm and knuckles still faintly burned and itched; ghost like. She then thought about the way the glass felt against her skin, the way it gave her such a rush... But then the itch and burning from the scabbing begged for her attention. It wasn't worth it, or was it? As it made her feel so good, so alive... Put it this way, if she had the chance again; then she wouldn't stop herself.

Someone knocked into her shoulder, bringing Rae back to reality. She hadn't realised how busy the high street was, and she didn't like it. She didn't like the close proximity of bodies as she weaved in-and-out of everyone, feeling as if all eyes were all on her. She ducked her head and kept her stare on her feet, she felt as if no matter how loud her music played in her ears; it couldn't stop the voices of the outside world from getting into her mind. The more she walked, the louder the talking and laughter would get. She suddenly felt like an ant under a magnifying glass and everybody was judging her, they knew her secret. They knew how sick and messed up she was.

She picked up her pace, just wanting to be home and out of everyone's stare.

Once Rae had gotten into the block of flats, she trekked up the cement stairway before walking up to her and Al's door on the fifth floor. She hadn't realised she had been crying, until her thick tears completely blurred her vision and she couldn't get the key into her lock. After the third try, she let out of a cry of frustration before leaning her forehead and resting her head against the oak door. That is, until it swung open to reveal Al. He frowned as he took in her expression, his heart weighed heavily in his chest, "Babe? Wha's 'appened?" She sniffed before she whimpered, "I.. I just, I kinda need y' right now", Before she let out a sob, the only kind of sobs that could mean one thing:

A broken heart.

Once Finn had gotten back into the flat, his anger pulsed and he needed to feel something; anything. He made his way into the living room, where Chloe was sat on the arm of the couch where Izzy sat beside her. Finn's eyes glanced down to Chloe's exposed thigh as her dress had ridden up as her legs were crossed before back up to her face and then over to Izzy, "Iz, babe, don't mean t' sound rude but can y' piss off?" He then flashed her a playful smile but his eyes grew darker by the second, Izzy rolled her eyes but smirked, "Alright, I'll let y' two 'ave y' fun", She rose to her feet and shared a kiss on the cheek with Chloe before moving over to Finn and pointing a finger at him and jokingly quipping, "Y' be good y'", He then shared a small laugh with her before she left, she gave his arse a playful on the way out.

Finn looked over his shoulder, waiting to hear the sweet sound of the front door creaking open and slamming shut. Once it did so, he turned to Chloe and said nothing but walked over; grabbing her face in his hands and planting a whopper of a kiss onto her lips. Such a big kiss that when he pulled away, Chloe had to gasp slightly for air, "Finn, what are y-" He cut her off by rejoining their lips, she moved her body fully round; wrapping her legs around his hips. He then took this as a cue to lift her up, before he moved them both round and lie her gently down on the couch. He then kneeled and looked down at her, smiling but his pupils growing and his chest rose and fell. She frowned before asking, "Wha'?" "Nowt, y' just look cute", He smirked, playfullness to his tone. In which she rolled her eyes and mumbled, "Shut up", Before pulling him in by his white T-shirt, connecting their lips once more. As they grew into it, Finn whipped off his open plaid shirt before Chloe helped him pull his white tee over his head. He then helped her lift up her dress and peel it off, all their items of clothing strewn across the room.

Kissing, touching, scratching, biting, the two just couldn't feel enough of each other. As she went to reach for the buckle of his jeans, he pushed her hand away and she cocked an eyebrow as she pulled away. He then gave her a cheeky smirk before he began to work on her neck, she then threatened, "Fiiiinn?" "Mmhm?" He mumbled into her neck, "Wha' are y' doin'?" He said nothing but moved down to her collarbones, niping and kissing before her chest; leaving gentle kisses but lingering his lips longer than needed in a torturing manner. He then shifted slightly as he slowly moved himself and his lips down between her breasts, his fingers toying with the waistband of her lacy underwear - his favourite. He moved his lips down to her stomach, when he froze and his breath caught at the back of his throat; a sadness overwhelmed him as they hadn't had sex since Chloe had found out she was infertile. He hovered his lips over her tummy as he stared down at it as if it were suddenly new and he didn't know what to do with it, she then softly asked, "Finn, y'alright?" He then took a deep breath before nodding, placing a soft kiss upon her stomach and then continuing; leaving love bites on her hips - which caused Chloe to let out a whine and moan. He smirked into her skin and never took his eyes off her once, her reactions to his touches his favourite thing. He could feel himself growing and needed to get a move on, he then reached the waistband of her knickers and left a line of kisses; her stomach tensing and twitching with each one.

Although his thoughts were everywhere and his pulse was racing, he couldn't help but think of Rae; what he said. He knew Rae was insecure, but he knew she was tough and what he said couldn't have effected her that bad... Could it?

Now although Rae wasn't and never had been an anorexic, she still did suffer from the thoughts; the thoughts that were just as evil as her friend Tix's - it just didn't show on Rae like it used to with Tix. And although Rae liked to eat, she hated eating around anyone; in fear of them commenting on it. Not that they would, as Rae ate normally - well when she wasn't feeling sad or with the girls. Even with Finn, her best and closest friend, she still felt uncomfortable eating around him.

Al and Rae were sat in their living room, eating a large ham and pineapple pizza whilst watching a soap on the box. Al sat sprawled out on the couch and Rae sat curled up beside him, both chewing a slice of pizza; the pizza box sat in between them on the coffee table.

She went to reach for the last pizza slice, when Al piped up, "Fuckin' 'ell, do y' ever stop eating?" She paused, and frowned at him, "Wha'? I'm hungry", Offence coated her tone, in which he scoffed, "After tha'? Y' must be jokin'", She placed her tongue behind her bottom lip, eyes widening as she sat back in a sulk - a pang of hurt kicked at her stomach. He then rolled his eyes, "Oh wha' now?" She shook her head, snapping, "Nowt, sorry me bein' such a fuckin' pig offended y'", He frowned, "I never said tha-" "But y' implied it", She cut him off, a slight quiver in her voice. He looked at her for a moment, was she being serious? He scoffed, reaverting his gaze back onto the telly, "Wha'ever, Rae".

Not wanting to stay in the same room as him, Rae got up, grabbed the pizza box and empty cans of pop on the table and storming out; heading for the kitchen - hearing him playfully call out "Raaaaae", His tone infuriating her even more.

She made her way over to the bin, shoving the box and cans into the bin - feeling his presence in the kitchen doorway. Not making eye contact, she moved over to the cupboards and grabbed a glass, walking over to the sink - catching a glimpse of Al's reflection in the kitchen window that overlooked the town - and pouring herself a glass of water - the silence and tension within the room suffocating. After downing her water, she slammed the glass down on the side and turned to see Al in the doorway; leaning against the doorframe. She walked over to him, glowering and went to walk past when he pulled her back, "Rae, don't be like tha'", She huffed, "Be like wha'? Upset tha' y've just practically called me a pig? Well excuse me", He rolled his eyes, he could be a cocky little shit when he wanted to be, "I didn't mean it like tha', y' overreacting, again", "Oh fuck off, y' fuckin' dick'ed", She went to walk into the living room when he said, "Go on, 'ave y' tantrum then fuck off t' Finn's, like always", She froze, and she don't know how or why it happened, or what it was even but it overpowered her and controlled her as she turned.

She folded her arms before she spat, "Get out", He snorted a laugh, slightly confused as he was unsure of whether she was joking or being serious, "Wha'?" She snapped, her tone more stern than her last but still spoke with the same amount of venom, "I said get out, go on. Fuck off", He took a moment, smiling smugly; which caused anger to pulse throughout Rae's veins, "Y' can't be serious", Through a locked jaw, she seethed, "I can, now piss off. Go on, get out!" She spoke, her tone becoming louder with each word, "Oh come on, Rae. Stop bein' so fuckin' childish, I was just jokin'".

That did it, she then shoved him against the wall, before she began smacking him as she screamed, "I said get out, go on! Get out, y' fuckin' horrible prick!" He grabbed her wrists, stopping some of the blows before shouting, "What are y' doing, y' dickhead!?" She wriggled out of his grip and pushed him, quite hard too considering her height next to his, "Are y' fucking deaf!? I said, get out!" She was now screeching, like a banshee. She pushed him over by the front door before he pushed past her and began storming through to their bedrooom; two steps at a time, she shouted after him, "What are y' doin'!?"

It wasn't too long before he returned, his jacket and shoes on and he stormed out of the flat; not saying another word - slamming the front door after himself. She then screamed, "Yeh, go on, piss off! Fuckin' knob!" Her chest heaved as she breathed heavily, adrenaline coursing through her as she looked around before she stormed through to the kitchen - noting a bowl on the kitchen island and some workpapers in which she threw them off, the smashing of the bowl as it hid the kitchen tiles echoed off the walls. She grabbed plates and glasses from the draining board, lunching them at the floor with a scream. She booted the cupboards under the sink, her thoughts were racing and her temper was growing out of control.

She slid down to the floor, sitting against the kitchen units and hitting the ground with a thud. She then started clawing at her chest and face, leaving scratches - red and prominent; some even drew blood. She began smacking and punching at her thighs, her punches becoming harder and harder with each hit. She felt sick with herself as she suddenly wanted to crawl out of her own skin, feeling suffocated. Thick tears streamed out of her face as she clawed at her neck, pulling at her hair and smacking her head as she screamed, "Get out, get out, get out!"

She smacked her head backwards against one of the cupboards, a sickening thud echoed around the room. She then pushed herself to her feet, pacing as she pulled at her hair; sobs becoming screams. She then started screaming, "Y' made him leave, it's all y' fault. Y' selfish bitch! Leave him alone, he's done nothin' wrong! Leave him alone!" She spoke as if she were speaking in third person, her words felt like they didn't belong to her. She couldn't understand what was happening in her mind, it was like a thousand voices were screaming at her - coming from all angles. She couldn't breathe, it felt as if someone was choking her. Snot ran from her nose and her eyes grew sore from crying.

She couldn't take this anymore, the sadness, the voices, the pain - she just wanted to rip off her skin and curl into a ball; cutting off the world. She was terrified, it were as if another person - an evil person - was living inside her brain as well; the constant little devil on her shoulder. She let another strangled cry, screaming at nothing but thin air "Leave me alone!" She then crouched down, burying her face into her knees as she hugged her legs; curling into a ball as she sobbed. Her tone was soft as she cried to herself, repeating her words of, "Leave me alone, please leave me alone". She couldn't move, she could only cry. She just couldn't do this anymore, she couldn't take the mood swings any longer - when was this going to stop? She shut her eyes and counted to ten rapidly in her head.

"_God you're so fat_", Spoke one voice.

"_Why does Finn even bother with you? I bet you're just some bet that he has with Al and when he shagged you, he'd won a tenner. Cause no one would like you, you don't even like you. You ugly slut_", Another voice spat.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10", Rae mumbled out loud before she took a deep breath. What was happening to her? Where were these voices coming from? What was going on? This wasn't her, this wasn't Rae. She looked down at the shattered glass, wondering what it would feel like against her skin...

She then widened her eyes before then squeezing them shut again. Her chest grew tight, her thoughts were becoming more erratic and weird as each moment passed. She pulled at her hair and smacked her head; a way of trying to get them out. Her breathing grew heavy as did her chest - a sob left her lips. She tugged harder and harder at her hair as the walls around her grew smaller and smaller - the room was on a sudden axis. She picked up the smallest but sharpest piece of glass. She admired it in the light, smiling at the way it glistened at each angled she turned it.

Rae had been to a place this dark once before, but back then she wasn't old enough to understand it or truly, truly feel it. Although she felt emptiness, there was still something there that consumed her and ate her whole - swallowing every bit of happiness she held. She was being controlled by her own dark thoughts, she felt as if every time she left her house that people knew she thought differently to everyone - as they were secrectly and silently judging her. She felt as if she was drowning except she could see everyone around her breathing.

She then leaned back against a cupboard door, took a glance from her wrist to the glass. She'd never thought about doing this, well she'd thought about it - but never actually wanted to do it. But the way that glass sliced her skin when she had first done it over two years ago felt... Beautiful. To her it did, it felt like nothing Rae had felt before. Yes, it did hurt but that's what made Rae love it. It made her feel something, made her feel human again and normal and that she could still actually feel things - she wasn't just a walking shell of nothinginess. She then stared ahead and clutched the glass so hard, it began to pierce her skin and she embraced the feeling as her blood dripped from her palm and onto the floor, creating small blood poppies.

And then something snapped, realising what she was doing. She dropped the glass as if it were on fire, she looked at her hand - what had she done? "Shit", She breathed before climbing off the floor, ignoring the throbbing and burning pain coming from the palm of her hand.

She then made her way over to the sink and began to clean herself, panicking as the blood wouldn't stop. But throughout it all, she didn't cry. Not a single tear. She somehow kept herself together. As she dodged the broken glass and she cleaned herself and the floor, she then crouched as she opened the doors underneath the sink and scanned the contents. She took out some sanitizer and the first aid kit. Once her hand was wrapped up and taken care of, she put the stuff back and then began picking the glass and plates up. Being careful as she could, she cradled the discarded glass and dinner plates in her arms before throwing them in the kitchen bin.

She then suddenly felt a wave of motion sickness, which caused her to slide down a wall of the kitchen and take a moment. She inhaled for five and exhaled for five, eyes widening with each second. What the hell had just happened? She needed to get out of the house and she needed to get out now.

The pub was packed, people breathing down each other's necks due to the closeness of their bodies. The gang - excluding Rae and Al - sat at their regular table, cheeks and noses pink from being out in the cold.

Finn chewed the inside of his cheek, staring blankly as he grew lost in thought. That is, until a passerby drunkenly and accidentally shoved into him, slurring a 'Sorry' Before stumbling off. You'd honestly think it was New Year's Eve, not another normal night. He checked the time on his watch; 21:09 beamed back at him, he hadn't heard her come in; not until Izzy piped up, "Oh my God, wha' 'appened t' y' 'and!?" He looked up, only for a brief moment, to see Rae's hand gauzed and wrapped in a bandaged. He frowned a little, what did she do? Rae's cheeks turned a brighter shade of pink than usual, feeling embarassed under everyone's stare in which she responded with, "I dropped a glass before and cut my 'and as I picked up one of the pieces to put it in the bin", Everyone gave her a mix of sympathetic 'Oohs' and 'Aahs' - apart from Finn. Finn simply tutted and rolled his eyes, "Well that were a bit stupid, weren't it", In which Rae snapped back, "Well fuck me, It speaks".

He gave a sarcastic laugh before snapping, "Oh y' so fuckin' funny", She then took a seat on Archie's right side; placing him right in between Rae and Finn, she then sarcastically quipped, "I know I pride myself on my humour actually, d'ya know wha' a humour is?" "Yeh, I do actually. It's summat y' 'aven't got", She rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Such a prick", A sense of de ja vu overcame them both, those exact words she once spoke when Finn first started realising he had feelings for her and began being a dick; the week run up to Knebworth. Archie then butted in, "When y' two are done 'avin' a domestic, we need t' finalise these campin' trip plans. Right, as y'know it'll be Chop and Izzy in one car, me and Johnny in the other, Rae and Fi-" He was cut off by Rae and Finn's protests before Rae then piped up, "No way am I sharing a car with tha' thing", In which Finn retaliated with, "Oh I'm a thing now, not an It? Ta, for tha' Rae. Feel so much better", Rae pulled a face at him in which he mocked before the two started bickering once more before Johnny snapped, "Right! Enough, ok Finn y' with Chloe and Rae y' with Al", Rae and Finn then said "Thank fuck for tha'", In sync before glaring at each other.

Well, this was going to be a fun trip.


	16. Chapter 16 - Al's part 1

Alistar James Stevens, 20 and was - like the others - born and raised in the small town that went by the name of Stamford. Al was the typical cocky, smart-arse; but he was adored and wanted by every girl in the town as he just had a quality about him that made girls crave him. Al was a rugged kind of handsome, the kind that Finn was; he had somewhat of a boyish charm to him and it was what attracted Rae so much in the first place. From the back, you could swear it was Noel Gallagher. His and Finn's characteristics and looks were similar; but that didn't stop the pair from clashing and competing - Al always coming out on top as he had Rae.

Al awoke from his slumber with dry lips and a fucker of a headache, last night's events soon repeating on him. He glanced around to see he was in his car, he frowned before huffing as he remembered why he was in his car - after his argument with Rae and storming out; the vodka called his name and next thing he knew he was here, hungover and freezing his bollocks off.

He yawned and rubbed his face, waking himself up. He glanced at the clock on his car dashboard to see it was eleven-thirty; meaning he had fifteen minutes to get to his boss's house and so, he turned the key in the ignition and put his car into drive.

On his drive to his boss's, he thought everything over - it was so unlike Rae. So out of character for her to overreact like that, and this was Rae he was talking about. He grew lost in thought and swallowed the hurt that bobbed in his throat, letting it curdle in his stomach - like week old milk. He did so much for Rae, sure, he may have been a dick to her but he loved her and tried his best to help her; which was all he could offer. He did wish he wasn't so short tempered and was a better boyfriend but he was new to it all - even two years later. He tried, he really did and he loved her - what more could he give to her. Sure, the odd showering her with gifts every now and again wouldn't go amiss but he knew Rae cringed at that kind of stuff, otherwise she'd be swimming in gifts.

He pulled himself back to reality as he parked up outside his boss's and gave the horn three beeps before he sunk into his seat as he awaited the arrivial of his boss's daughter. Today, his boss had assigned Al to take his daughter to his new house; to see if it won over the daughter's approval. Well, his eldest daughter as the youngest was too young to understand and plus; he needed Al to pick up a certain parcel for him and he didn't want the little girl seeing that.

"Alright?" Al heard on his left as the girl climbed in, shutting the door after herself. He flashed her a grin and asked, "Alright, Chlo?"

"Where's Al?" Frowned Chop, slumping himself down beside Izzy. He, Izzy, Archie, Rae and Finn all sat in the common room. Rae, head burried in a text book, shrugged before continuing to work. Finn then scoffed, "Why don't tha' surprise me?" In which Rae frowned and retaliated, "Ohhh wha's y' problem now?" Finn smirked, but not in an amused manner but more sarcastic, "Nowt, just sayin' it's nowt new", She then snapped, "Oh, an where's Chloe?" Which caused him to fold his arms and sulk into his seat, which caused Rae to continue, "Exactly, so wind y' fuckin' neck in, y' prick".

Archie then asked, "Where _**is **_Chloe?" In which Finn shrugged, just as clueless as Archie was.

"Oh my God!" Chloe gasped as she walked into the pool room, looking around, "I love it! I absolutely love it!" She then turned to Al, who trailed in. He nodded slowly, "Yeh, s'nice", She then scoffed, "S'nice? Al, it's more than nice. It's fuckin' amazing!" He gave her a smile and an eyeroll, snorting a laugh. Al then glanced over at the real estate agent, who eyed Chloe hungrily as she admired the large and well decorated room.

Al then coughed, purposely causing the young agent to snap out of his stare and stutter; the room suddenly his focus, "Yeh and as you can see marble flooring, steam room, jacuzzi and all of tha' malarkey", Al then nodded before Chloe piped up, "Right, well we're gonna discuss it. So, can y' give us a moment?" In which the agent gave her a once over before nervously scurrying out.

Once the agent was gone, Chloe gave Al a cheeky look in which he frowned at and asked, "Wha'?" She said nothing but stripped down to her underwear and dived into the pool, once she emerged he shouted, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wha' the fuck y' doin'!?" She gave him that infamous Chloe smile, "Well, if I'm gonna be living 'ere then I've gotta see if it's good enough, ain't I", She gave a giggle as he scoffed and playfully said, "Y' are fuckin' mental".

Then there it was, the change in atmosphere. He looked at her, tilting his head to the side slightly - his eyes smouldering. She looked up through her wet lashes and asked, "Well, y' gettin' in then or wha'?" There was a pause before he moved to the edge of the pool and looked down at her, he then smirked before glowering, threatening her, "Get out and put y' clothes on", She frowned but a confused smile played up on her lips before she asked, "Wha's changed y' tune? A week ago and y' wouldn't 'ave took more than two seconds gettin' in", He scoffed, "Changed man now, Chlo. Now, c'mon, get out and let's go", She widened her eyes and inwardly scoffed before huffing, "Ok then".

She swam to the side and climbed out, he turned as soon as she reached the top step. She smirked, amused, "Wha's up with y'? Y' actin' as if y' ain't seen underwear before", He rolled his eyes, snapping over his shoulder as he refused to turn round, "Chloe, just stop it alright? Y'know I love Rae, look, fuck it I can't be arsed. I'll wait outside for y', yeh?" He went to walk out when she called out, "Weren't sayin' tha' when y' fucked Izzy though were y'?!" Her tone full of such spite as she knew she wasn't winning him over.

He paused, went to retaliate before deciding against it and stalking out - Leaving a soaked and furious Chloe.

Once the paper's were signed and Chloe was dry, the pair decided it was time to take Chloe home. The pair drove in silence, when they pulled up outside Chloe's she piped up, "Look, I'm sorry for sayin' wha' I said before. It were bang out of order, I know but I just... I just got angry, tha's all", Without looking at her, he shrugged, "S'fine", She then turned slightly to him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before she looked down as she picked at a loose thread on the car seat before huffing and sitting back, "But it's not and I understand if y' 'ate me", He then looked at her, giving her a soft smile, "I could never 'ate y', Chlo", In which she shared his smile.

A moment passed before she stuttered, vulnerability playing in her eyes, "I... I still love y', y'know", He shook his head, "Don't, Chlo. Don't start", He then looked out the driver's seat window, a moment passed before she gave a sad sigh and climbed out the car; slamming the door after her. He shut his eyes and exhaled, it hadn't always been this way with them two - so tense and hostile.

He knew Chloe had been in love with him, ever since they were kids. Even to this day the pair could still remember the day they met. July 22nd 2007 and it was a Thursday, the memory burned into the pair's brain as much as the pavement burned the sun during that day. They had met down the park, where she'd went to go for a walk to get out of the house as her parents were arguing... Again.

_Finn and Al played footie on the field and Chloe sat miserably on the swing set. She watched the two play football with their friends, whilst girls giggled and watched them on the sidelines. Chloe watched and longed for friends, during primary; she wasn't a loner but she wasn't popular and only had a handful of friends. But none of them lived close by and they weren't into the same things as her, they were into all stupid stuff like boys and clothes; as where Chloe was into football and Yugioh cards. Chloe let out a sad sigh, her shoulders drooped as she watched Al chase a blonde girl around the field; grabbing her by the waist and hugging her; her squealing and trying to get away but loving it secretly. _

_Chloe, not wanting to watch any longer, rose to her feet and went to leave when, "Oi!" Was called out from behind her, she turned to see Finn jogging towards her. She raised an eyebrow, he then slowed down as he reached her; his speech coming out breathless, "Can y' pass me ball please?" Chloe then looked at her feet to find a muddy casey ball, she smiled, bent down and picked it up; tossing it to him which he caught with ease, "Cheers", He breathed and went to jog away when he stopped and turned, calling out to her again, "Is tha' the new United kit?" Chloe looked down at her attire before back up and nodding, a toothy grin on her face. Finn smiled, beaming, "Aw mate, tha' is so sick!" He then turned and called out, "Al! Al, c'mere!" Al then jogged over and moaned, "Wha'?" Finn then beamed as he pointed at Chloe, "Look! She's got the new United kit!" Al looked at her and frowned, "Y' support United?" She nodded, in which Al nodded; slightly impressed, "Ah, cool. I ain't got the new kit yet as dad said I have t' save for it or summat stupid", Chloe, trying to play it cool, nodded, "Oh right", Finn then intervined, "Well I think it's pretty cool that y' like United, my name's Finn and this is Al", She smiled and shly waved, "I'm Chloe", Finn then continued, "Well, Chloe, d'ya fancy playin' footie with us?" Al then butted in, "Mate, she's a girl. Girls don't play football", Chloe frowned, a little wounded, "Who says?" Finn piped up, "Yeh! Who says?" Al, realising he was now ganged up on, bit back, "My dad!" Chloe scoffed, "Well y' dad, is talking crap as I play for my school team", Al rolled his eyes, "Prove it", Chloe then took the ball from Finn, "Come on then!" She then raced off and the boys looked at each other before running after her._

Al smiled at the memory before downing the last of his whisky, he sighed as he placed the glass onto his coffee table - it was now evening and Al sat alone in the flat, Rae still yet to return. He then began to cut up a line, snorting it up in one swift movement. He sat back and let the coke kick in, taking him to a whole other world. He slowly took in the flat, how lonely it looked. When had it all started to fall apart? He loved Rae so much, so much it scared him - surely his love for her wasn't healthy. The guilt then took over, Izzy's large emerald iris's overtook his mind - he needed to sort things out with her and he needed to now.


	17. Chapter 17 - Let's hit the road jack! P1

_What was that... A flash? Followed by another flash... And another... Followed by voices, Al frowned; what was going on? Where was he? He looked around, faces melted and warped together - as if in a Francais Bacon painting. He tried to tune in to the voices, but they were all disorientated and didn't make sense; but he knew they were growing louder and louder until they were screaming at him. He winced and covered his ears, squeezing his eyes shut to shield his eyes from the blinding lights. He felt for her, only to come back empty - where had she gone? He needed her, he didn't want to push her anyway anymore; he just wanted her back. He didn't want to be this monster, this horrible monst-_

Al woke up with a startle, he wiped his face - the palm of his hand and his face wet. He frowned with confusion as a figure loomed over him, he squinted to see the figure more clearly and saw it was a displeased looking Rae, "Rae, what are y'-" "Get up", She snapped, he now noted the empty glass in her hand - the answer to why his face and hair were soaking wet. He cocked an eyebrow, now more awake, "Y' wha'?" She scoffed, slamming down the glass onto the coffee table before turning back to him with her arms folded, "I said, get up", Realising she was in no mood for messing round, he huffed as he sat up.

He swung his legs round and hunched as he rested his elbows upon his knees, rubbing his face; trying to wake up, "When did y' go 'ome?" He asked, grabbing his box of cigarettes and taking one out and his morning voice gravely, "'Bout an hour ago", She sighed, in which he nodded as he lit his cigarette before chucking the lighter and box back onto the table. He took a drag of his cigarette and croaked, "Fair enough", Through an exhale, there was a pause before Rae asked, "An' wha' time did y' get in?" "Does it matter?" He snapped, huffing but not looking at her. She scowled, "I were just asking", He scoffed before he asked, "Did y' stay in Finn's last night?" Even the mention of his name was enough to infuriate Rae, she snapped back, "Does it matter?" Her tone mocking his, he looked at her in disbelief before asking, "D'y' always 'ave t' be so fuckin' childish?" "Oh! Says the one who started it", "'Ang on, who the _**fuck **_started it the other night!?" He snarled, turning to her before the pair broke out into an argument.

The pair fell into a long and tense silence, Rae grew wrapped into thoughts of guilt and Finn. Soon, her guilt turned into anger; anger of how Finn so easily could drop Rae for Chloe but he expected her to wait for him - like a little lap dog. She frowned inwardly, when had things become so shit between her and Al? When had all these arguments started? Sure, they had their disagreements but they were always resolved with talking and foreplay - where had their happiness gone?

Rae scoffed and shook her head, "Right, this 'as got t' stop", He frowned and looked at her, "Wha' y' on about?" "Me an' y', all this arguin' an' bullshit. It's got t' stop, now, Al. Ok? Cause I'm sick of just everythin' bein' so... Fucked up, y'know? Cause I just... " She sighed, unable to find the words as she picked at her nails; insecurity in her eyes as she continued, "I love y', I love y' t' death and I don't wanna lose y'. As cringey as it sounds", The last few words spoke in a jokingly manner, in which the pair shared a small smile. There was a long silence and Al's smile faltered as he took another drag, sighing as he exhaled before asking with a frown, "Rae ca... Can we start over? Like, forget tha' argument 'appened and go back to 'ow we used t' be?" "Only if we can have a Disney-a-thon", She playfully quipped, her infamous 'Rae smile' Upon her lips; which he returned and gave her a nod, "Deal".

_It had been twelve days since Rae and Al had made up and sixteen days - sixteen long and torturous days - since Rae and Finn had stopped speaking, it was a very bittersweet time for everyone. Rae and Al were closer than ever, Al smug with the fact Rae couldn't stand Finn and had her all to himself. Chloe and Finn were ok, but Finn was mardier than ever - almost making it impossible for Chloe to be happy and get more than a word out of him; it were as if he was on a constant man period and whenever Finn and Rae would get into a tiff, poor Chloe would get the back lash. But it wasn't just Chloe that Finn was becoming an arse too; not even Chop could stand to be around him - and it took a lot to wind Chop up. After the first four or so days, Chop could hack it but when Finn snarked Izzy; Chop lost it and point blank refused to have anything to do with Finn; that is, until Finn apologised or until the camping trip, even. When it reached eleven days and everybody realised Finn wasn't snapping out of it, even Al realised he needed to intervine, the gang - excluding Finn - begged Rae to patch things up with Finn but Rae being Rae dug her heels in and it even gotten to the point of where the gang couldn't spend longer than an hour out together as either Finn or Rae would eventually storm off and it would spoil the whole night. Rae's thoughts were becoming more jumbled and weird, her urges begged for her attention and her want for Finn was stronger than ever. Every time the gang were out, Finn would try with Rae but always came back disheartened as Rae wouldn't have it or his efforts would come across as knobish and sarcastic. Around day fifteen, Rae had completely isolated herself, Kester being her only form of comfort and company; not even Al could fill the gap of loneliness for her, even in college Rae had moved tables in class, ate lunch on her own and as soon as she came home, she would lock herself in her room. But what killed Rae, was the thought of Finn being better off without her - sending her into a darker spin as Finn gave off the impression he was so over the moon happy without her; when little did she realise; he ached for her just as much. The pair despised themselves for being so stubborn, but Rae thought Finn was in the wrong and should apologise for saying what he said and Finn thought Rae was in the wrong for kicking off the argument and she was the one who should've apologised - causing a permenant wall of hatred between the pair. Al, Johnny, Archie, Chop, Izzy and Chloe realised they needed to do something and soon, even if it were as extreme as forcing them to drive up in a car together on the camping trip._

It was Friday and Rae's final session with Kester, as they sat in their regular room and their regular places; Rae looked out the window and thought everything over with her diary clutched to her chest - a sense of de ja vu overcoming the two from when they first met. Over the past hour, they'd spent talking about everything that had gone on - but Rae never told Kester about why she had a bandage; just gave him the story that she gave everybody else. She had, however, told him about the bathtub scenario and Kester didn't judge once; even jokingly quipped a "Good on you". She now realised how far she had come, how far she had improved; sure, that night recently was just a little bump in the road but that was nothing. She could over come it, over come this with Finn but she needed Kester to do that. She needed Kester to help her. Rae had met her new therapist, his name was Brian, aged 24, jet black hair, tanned skin but Rae didn't feel that connection like she did with Kester - Brian had just come out of uni and didn't know jack shit, not like Kester. She thought over the past two years with a frown, she thought over the advice Kester had gave her, the tantrums and rants she had, had to him, the laughs they shared and the secrets she revealed. It was an odd feeling Kester gave her, as if he had completely unpicked and unravled her ball of hatred, self-loathing and sadness - as if she were naked and exposed before him. He had done a lot of work on her, and they had done a lot of work together. The thought of Rae having to have somebody new come in and pry in on her secrets terrified Rae, made her want to curl up. Kester was like a father to Rae, she knew this day was going to come but she couldn't help but grow attatched to "Ol' baldy" As she liked to call him. Kester was not only her therapist but her companion, her best friend, her other half - the older Finn to her.

"So, 'ow you feelin' about gettin' a new therapist?" Kester asked, exhaling some of his cigarette. Rae shrugged, "Guess I'm alright, gonna be different but gonna 'ave t' deal with it", He gave a sigh before saying, "Y'know y' gonna be alright, Brian's a good lad. Well, not as good as me, mind", He jokingly quipped and the pair shared a laugh, Kester then noted the time on the clock on the wall, "Ooh, shit. It's comin' up to ten, y' best get goin' as you don't wanna be late", The pair then rose to their feet, Rae picked up her back pack and shrugged it on; swallowing her sadness. He drank her in and gave her a small smile, "Well, Rae, it's been a journey and a 'alf but we got there. Now, remember wha' I told you, people can either accept you for who y' are or they can-" "Fuck off?" She cut him off, half smiling. In which he gave a smile, "Exactly, now, c'mere", He said with open arms. She moved round and fell into his embrace, the pair wrapping their arms around each other before they pulled away, Kester then jokingly swatted his hand at her as his eyes filled, "Now, piss off as everyone will be waiting for y'", She giggled and went to walk out when he called out, "Oh! And Rae!" She turned as he continued, "Good luck", Her vision was blurred but she managed to give a small smile and sniff, "Y' too", and with that, the pair departed; that chapter in their lives officially finished.

On the way to the parking lot garages, Rae let the tears fall; wiping them away with the corner of her sleeves. She let out a sniff as she felt her heart waver within her chest, it was over. All her sessions with Kester were officially finished, just like that. Not wanting to get more wrapped up in her sadness, she looked at the positives... Which was a pretty hard thing to do. So, she shrugged on her backpack even further up her shoulder and trudged on; making her way to the garages - where three cars were parked up and the gang (excluding Chloe and Al) were around them.

Finn was putting stuff in the boot of his car, chatting to Archie. Johnny was leaning against the bonnet of one car, whilst Izzy and Chop were bickering about something at the boot of Chop's car before Chop slammed the boot shut and stormed over to the front of his car - Izzy in tow. Johnny clocked Rae as she approached, "Alright, Raemundo!" He chucked her a beer from the cooler on the floor before frowning, "Where's Al?" Finn, who had now come round from the boot and was looking through his car, glanced up and caught Rae's eye; before turning back to his search. Everyone else landed their gaze on Rae, who frowned, "Didn't he ring y'?" Off Johnny's look, she continued, "Oh, well he's not comin'. Got a funeral", Johnny then nodded, "Fair enough", Rae opened her beer and took a swig before Archie came over and asked in low tones, "Rae, y' alright? Y' look like y've been cryin'" She nodded, "Yep, just been for me last session with Kester, so..." Archie nodded, taking a swig of his own beer, "Fair enough", He gave her a one armed squeeze, the two feeling uncomfortable under the feel of a pair of eyes burning into them, "We'll talk later", He then moved over to Chop and began discussing something.

Rae then moved over to Johnny and leaned against the bonnet, the two wrapped up into conversation. Chop then piped up, "Well 'ere since Chloe's not comin' Rae and Finn can drive up together", Rae and Finn then shot over to in front of Archie, Chop and Izzy; protesting. Archie rolled his eyes, "Oh, will the pair of y's give it a rest. Look, Rae y' and Finn are goin' in Finn's car. End of", Rae and Finn then spoke in sync, "No fuckin' way", Before glaring at each other and then Chop, before shouting in sync once more, "Chop!?" As if he was going to bail them out, Chop then said, "Well maybe Iz could go wi-" Before Izzy cut him off with a clip on the back of the head. Whilst rubbing his head, Chop gave Rae and Finn an innocent look, "Sorry", Rae and Finn gave out a frustrated cry at Chop before each other before Rae stormed off over to Johnny and Finn to his car - in which Izzy and Archie gave Chop a look in which he responded with a "Wha'?" Izzy and Archie gave each other a look before smacking Chop over the head in sync. They were going to need a miracle to get through this.

And beer, lots and lots of beer.


	18. Chapter 18 - Let's hit the road Jack pt2

After securing everything, making sure they had their maps and walkie talkies - just in case one of the drivers got lost - and a few more protests from Rae and Finn; they were on the road. Chop and Izzy drove in front, Archie and Johnny second and Rae and Finn were last, Finn and Rae began the journey in tense silence; although the pair wore sunglasses - it wasn't enough to cover their frowns.

Finn huffed, glancing between Rae and the road, "Look, Rae, this is stupid an-" "Oh, are y' talkin' t' me? Couldn't 'ear y' over my fat arse", She cut him off, her tone sarcastic and snappy. He rolled his eyes before scoffing, "Oh grow up", Her mouth dropped into an 'O' as she retaliated in her typical Rae, dramatic fashion, "Oh, please do not tell me y' just told me t' grow up" He snapped, "Oh wind y' neck in", She glowered, "D'ya know how irritatin' y' actually are!?'", "Aw thanks, please get in the line with the others who are waitin' fer me t' give a fuck", He quipped sarcastically, in which she huffed back into her seat and muttered, "'Ope someone pisses on y' cornflakes", Which, of course, he heard and just gave an eyeroll. A tense silence fell between the two, he then rested his right arm out of the driver's seat window whilst his left hand occupied the wheel, his fingers then began to drum against the driver's seat window sill and his head bobbed along to a beat in his head. Rae did her infamous Rae eye roll before snapping, "Are y' seriously tryin' t' piss me off today?" He said nothing but gave her a massive, sarcastic grin and tapped harder. She snarled before looking out her own window and watching a passing scenery, mumbling a "Fuckin' prick" As she huffed her arms across her chest. Finn tried to surpass a smirk as he looked out his own window, God, did he love winding her up.

But Rae and Finn weren't the only ones driving in a tense silence, Izzy and Chop had fallen victim to tension - The low tones from The Stone Roses lulling from the car radio to be the only source of noise. Izzy rested her head against the pane of the passenger seat window, before glancing at Chop as he let out a bored huff - the three cars currently stuck in mid morning traffic. Izzy was disheartened with Chop's half-arsed attempts to make conversation, believe it or not, Izzy's and Chop's relationship wasn't just constant swirls of colours and happiness with the occasional noise in their heads - it was deeper than that. A lot of people didn't realise the arguments they had, the stress they went through and the paranoia.

Izzy was a strong girl, stronger than she let off. Last year Chop had fallen into a bad crowd, when the gang had first started college and completely cut everyone - excluding Izzy - off. Where the bad crowds were, the drugs were also and Chop had fallen into a nasty little drug habit and Izzy helped him through it all - So, it completely ruined Izzy that Chop had almost split up with Izzy when she broke the news she was keeping Al's baby. In fact, she thought it was quite selfish of him as she needed him; but with it being another man's baby - Izzy couldn't really argue.

Izzy sat up properly before forcing a smile and beaming, "Y' excited then, ay!?" In which Chop, still looking out the window, mumbled a "S'ppose", Izzy continued, "I love campin' me, I reckon it's gonna be a right laugh. Well, if Rae and Finn don't kill each other", In which she gave an awkward laugh, but Chop didn't reciprocate the laugh but just shrugged, "Yep", She sighed, giving up as it was hopeless. As if Archie could read their minds, the walkie talkie started crackling before Archie breathed, "Iz? Chop? Y' there?" Izzy glanced at Chop before taking the walkie talkie off the dashboard and pressing the talk button, saying, "It's Izzy! Wha's up?" Archie then spoke, "The traffic's movin' a bit and Johnny needs petrol so we're gonna pull in to this service station comin' up now, tha' alright with y' two?" Izzy then looked at Chop, who nodded, she then pressed the talk button, "Yeh! Tha's fine! 'ave y' told Rae and Finn?" Archie then responded, "Just about t', wish me luck", His last words laced with sarcasm and humour. Izzy giggled and pressed the talk button, "I'll pray for y'!" And with that, the pair "Hung up".

Rae and Finn were arguing over directions... Again. They'd be arguing for the past half an hour, the stress of the traffic ahead not helping - which was moving a lot quicker than ten minutes ago. Their loud bickering was interupted by the walkie talkie crackling and Archie breathing through the intercom, "Rae? Finn? Hellloooo?" Rae snatched the walkie talkie from the dashboard in a huff before clicking the talk button, "'Ello?" Archie then responded, "Iya, Raemundo! Y' sound 'appy", He jokingly quipped, in which Rae pressed the talk button and snapped, "Well, s'wha' 'appens when y' stuck with a knob'ed", Finn rolled his eyes, "Oh, tell it t' someone who cares", In which she snapped, "Get bent, y' prick", Before pulling a face at each other. Archie breathed a laugh down the reciever before continuing, "Listen, about three or so miles ahead there's a service station on the left and Johnny needs petrol so, just thought I'd give you's a heads up", She then replied, "Cheers, Arch. See y' in a minute" And they hung up.

"Cheers, Arch. See y' in a minute", Finn mocked in a childish tone, which caused Rae to scoff, "Oh and now who's bein' childish?" In which he snarked, "Still y'", and once again, another argument broke out between the two. Finn looked ahead and snapped, "Fuck it", Before pulling off the lane and onto a hard shoulder, Rae then shouted, "The fuck y' doin', dick'ed!?" He then shut the engine off and turned slightly to her before huffing, "Look, Rae, I am not gonna sit through an hour drive with y' and for it t' be like this and I am definitely not gonna spend a whole fuckin' weekend arguin' with y', alright!? Now, we can sort it out now or we stay 'ere till we do", She folded her arms and snarled, "Y' can't do tha'", "Watch me", He challenged, she huffed and rolled her eyes; looking out the window.

A silence fell between the two before Finn piped up, "Don't make me put Spaceman on", Which she couldn't help but smile at before snapping, "Don't make me laugh I'm mad at y'", In which he snorted a laugh before he grew serious, his tone soft, "Rae, listen, about wha' I said, I didn't mean it like... Like the way it came out and I didn't mean for y' t' take it like y' did, y'know I'd never hurt y' on purpose", "So, then 'ow did y' mean it?" She snarked, glaring but not taking her gaze off outside. He sighed, picking at a bit of dry skin in the palm of his hand as he continued, "I meant it like, well, if _**you're **_unhappy about it then do summat but I don't care wha' y' look like, as long as y' 'appy. I didn't mean for y' t' get offended, I just meant like if y' wanna change then I won't stop y' but if y' wanna stay the same then 'appy as I'll love y' all the same and y'll still be me best mate", He confessed, relief hitting him almost instantly. She said nothing, still not looking at him. She jumped slightly as she felt his finger graze her thigh, as he traced; I-M S-O-R-R-Y. She let a small smile grow onto her lips before she looked at him and traced her finger across his thigh as she wrote; M-E T-O-O and with that, the pair shared a laugh at how stupid they'd been.

After making up, Finn put the car into drive and drove to the service station. He and Rae climbed out, stretching before Rae walkie talkied Archie - asking where they are. Turns out Johnny had gotten the munchies and decided to get a full English in the little cafe within the service station, which the others couldn't say no to - and now, neither could Finn and Rae. As Finn and Rae walked into the cafe messing about and laughing, like over grown kids, they walked over to the table in the far left - where the rest of the group sat.

Johnny picked up on the sudden happy aura that glowed from Rae and Finn, piping up, "See y' two made up then", In which Rae and Finn pulled up a chair each from a table by, joining the gang. Rae playfully rolled her eyes, "Well y' know us, can't stay made at each other for too long", In which Finn playfully quipped, "She just can't stay away", Rae pushed him and gasped, "Cheeky bastard", Before the gang shared a laugh before breaking off into conversations, Rae then asked Finn, "I forgot t' ask, where's Chlo?" Finn shrugged, scratching the back of his ear and toying with his ear lobe - an anxious habit he'd developed when he was younger - as he mumbled, "'er dad's or summat".

Finn may have been easy to fool but Rae could smell a rat from miles away, it wasn't too hard to guess who Al and Chloe were spending their weekend with.

Al found Chloe, sat at the bar; downing a shot of Sambuca. He smirked as he took a seat next to her, calling the bartender over and ordering a Carlsberg before turning to her. He drank her in, his pupils darkening with each second. The bar Joe's was quite modern, lively, played footie matches on the projector screen and had cheap drinks; so it wasn't tacky and quite popular amungst students.

He then asked, eyebrow raised, "Thought y' were at the camping trip" She took another shot before grimacing and saying, "_Was", _He asked, not really arsed, "Wha' happened?" She scoffed, "Y' girlfriend", Now he was interested, "Whaddya mean?" She then waved her hand at him, not wanting to repeat the fortnight's events, "Tell y' later, right now we need to get very, very drunk!" She cheered, in which he laughed. She then smacked her hand on the bar and called out, "Bartender! Would y' be so kind as to get me four glitterbombs and a JD on the rocks?" The bartender laughed and nodded before handing over the Carlsberg and began to work on her orders.

She then turned to Al as he shook his head, "Wha'?" She frowned, he breathed a laugh, "Glitterbombs? Do I look like I have a pair of tits?" She rolled her eyes, "Piss off, glitterbombs are a manly shot too!" He rolled his eyes and took a sip of his beer, "Yeh, because glitter is a real manly thing, Chlo", He sarcastically quipped, she then smirked, "Just because y' can't 'andle it", He then raised his eyebrows, once more, "Pardon?" Realising she now had him, she then smugly smiled, "I'm just sayin' that the reason why y' tryin' to act 'Manly' Is cause y' can't 'andle y' drink", He then looked at her for a moment before turning to the bartender and saying, "Can y' make tha' six glitterbombs as well as two jager bombs and two vodka shots? Cheers".

It was now approaching to twelve, the gang were fed as well as their petrol tanks and were on the road once more - not a lane of traffic in sight. Rae and Finn had the windows down, Oasis blasting and lyrics screaming from their voices. They had to admit, they had missed this - missed it more than the other realised. But, although they had made up and were pals again - Rae couldn't help but let his words echo within her head. Now, although he explained how really meant it; she couldn't help but be tormented by the thought of what he could've meant and was just trying to cover his tracks.

"Y' wanderin' again", Finn spoke as he lowered the music, she snapped out of her daze before shaking her head and giving a laugh, "Yeh, sorry. By the way, seven out of ten", She gave a smirk, it took a moment or two to sink before he realised she was talking about the tune that just played before he frowned but jokingly quipped, "Well, then again y' like Oasis over Blur so", In which he gave a cheeky smile at her, she then smacked him and he bellowed, "Oi! I'm drivin'!" And the pair shared a laugh before Johnny breaked slowly before them in which Finn replicated, Johnny then signalled with his arm out the window for Finn to turn left and the three cars turned left and off onto a winding road that was surrounded and overshadowed by trees, before the cars then turned off onto a dirt road that led into the middle of a never ending forrest.

The walkie talkie crackled before Archie's voice piped up, "Chop told us t' tell y's t' keep an eyeout for the sign tha' has a pinecone on it", Rae pressed the talk button, "Will do", Before the pair then began to keep an eyeout. The cars then came to a fork in the forest before they turned down the left side. Suddenly, Johnny slammed the breaks; causing Rae and Finn to jolt forward as Finn slammed his own breaks. A moment passed before Chop appeared, jogging over to Johnny's car ahead and speak to Johnny. He then jogged over to Rae and Finn, a grin upon his face. Finn frowned and snapped, "The fuck y' playin' at, knob'ed!?" Chop rolled his eyes before saying, "Get out, we're 'ere", Before jogging off, Archie, Johnny and Izzy had now emerged from their cars and followed Chop. Rae and Finn shared a look before Rae shrugged, the pair undone their seatbelts and climbed out the car; following the others. Through branches, climbing over trunks, almost falling over a few times, etc; the gang then climbed through a bush and walked out onto a clearing that overlooked everything - it was beautiful.

It was open and wasn't covered by the forest, but more on the edge - it could fit at least thirty campers. Chop stood before them, grinning, "Did I do fuckin' brilliant or wha'?" Which Johnny then dived on Chop in joy, Finn snapped his fingers over and over in excitement, the girls giggled and cheered and Archie squeezed Finn's shoulders, shaking them slightly with happiness - well this trip was going to be amazing.

Sweat dripped from Al's neck and his hair stuck to his forehead, he had never drunk this much before. The music pulsed through his ears and the strobe lights swirled and blended into colours and fuzzy shapes. He felt so out of it, felt as if he was watching himself and weren't actually apart of his body... An 'Out-of-body' Experience, being the correct term. He felt for her, through the crowd; only to come back empty. He then looked around, but being so fucked meant his vision was no longer in tact and all he could see were swirls of colours. The room span and he couldn't keep his balance, where the hell had Chloe disappeared to? She was defintely still in the building as they went onto the dancefloor together no longer than ten minutes ago.

He then pushed through the crowds, earning a flew glares and shouts along the way. Once out of the mass of bodies, he headed for the toilet; you gotta start somewhere and the toilets were known for where shags and blowjobs happened. Let's be honest, Chloe wasn't at all innocent and loved taking risks, what's more risky than shagging in the toilet?

She was there, but was doing something that shocked him slightly;

Drugs.

Now sex and alcohol, he knew she lived for it; but cocaine? Then again, she wasn't the classiest of ladies. She was sat on the men's toilets sink, snorting a line. A burly and not-so-friendly skinhead of a man hovered over her. As she sat up and opened her eyes, she smiled as she'd noticed Al now had joined them, "Oh, didn't see y' there!" Al grimaced slightly. She then pointed the straw at him, "Want some? It's fuckin' good shit man", She shared a laugh with the guy.

But _he _didn't find it funny, which showed in his tone, "No thanks, don't do drugs", She scoffed, "Oh, don't pull tha' bullshit", He then scowled, "I'm not, never have done it before", Now, although that was utter bollocks; he'd never done it off a toilet sink - even he had standards. She rolled her eyes, "Oh come on! Live a little", She then smirked, knowing how to get right under his skin as she continued, "Wha's the matter? Scared?" He tensed, gritting his teeth. He hated how she knew that, that was the one thing she had to say to get him to do anything. He then glanced at the remainding line of coke on the sink, so tempting... Was he willing to throw away the last bit of morals, just to prove how much of a man he actually was?

"C'mon, do it. Don't be such a bore", She then snapped, cocking an eyebrow. He don't know what made him snap, but next thing he knew; he had stormed over to her, snatched the small straw from her hand, bent down and snorted the line. She and the stranger cheered him, she clapped as he stood up. He handed the straw over to the man, grabbed her by the hand, said nothing and yanked her off the sink; out of the toilets.

Al's stomach lurched at what he'd just done. He knew it was wrong and he didn't like it, he didn't like how much it made his nose itchy and how much it hurt his head. Well, it only itched for two minutes and the pain in his head lasted around the same amount, before he suddenly felt... Alive. Chloe then stood by him and watched as his frown disappear and a smile replace it. A smile appeared on her own lips as he looked at her before looking back at the club, he suddenly felt so Goddamn happy, so on-top-of-the-world. She then intertwined her fingers with his and whispered in his ear, "Come with me", And she began to walk forward, him in tow.

But what surprised him, is that she led him outside and continued on walking. He slurred, "Where are we going?" She said over her shoulder, "Where do y' think?" He then knew where this was going and smirked, remembering the sole reason why she called him out with her tonight. He didn't know whether it was the coke or whether it was how nice her arse looked in that body-con dress, but he suddenly felt so incredibly horny; that he thought his penis was going to burst the crotch of his jeans.


	19. Chapter 19 - lets hit the road jack! pt3

As soon as the gang had set up tents, decided on who shared with who - Finn and Chop, Izzy and Rae and Archie and Johnny - and settled down, they took no hesitation into cracking open the beers, blasting the tunes and setting up Archie's little portable barbecue - which Johnny was currently manning.

Happy Mondays blasted from a boombox that Chop had brought and echoed throughout the forrest and camp. Speaking of Chop, he was currently speaking to Johnny and Archie; whilst swigging on a beer whilst the three stood by the barbecue. Finn stood by the entrance, put two fingers in his mouth and whistled before calling out, "Chop", And waving Chop over. Chop excused himself and made his way over to Finn, quite a walk as the camp was bigger than expected. Chop gave a head nod as he jogged over to Finn, "Wha's up, mate?" Finn gave a cheeky and devious little smirk and glanced around before turning, wavering for Chop to follow - which he did.

They exited through the gap that cut off the campsite from the actual forrest, climbing over branches, through bushes, etc. Before, finally, reaching the three cars. Finn lead a confused Chop to round the boot of his car, lifting it up and grinning at Chop - who cocked an eyebrow as he looked in the boot before beaming. He then dived on Finn, shaking Finn's shoulders with excitement and booming, "Fuckin' quality! Finn, y' little beauty!" Before kissing the top of Finn's head, causing Finn to laugh. Turns out Finn had bought along a packet that contained eight Es, one packet contained a few acids, one contained weed, one full of coke and a few others Chop couldn't make out - the coke for the others as Finn didn't do that shit.

"Where did y' get the money for all this?" Chop questioned, the two admiring the drugs as if it were porn. Finn shrugged and casually spoke, "Got it for free, gotta love Uncle Keith", "Gotta love Uncle Keith" Chop said before the pair took a swig of beer and stared at the boot. Finn then belted, "So! Chopper, take y' pick! 'ere we have Es, weed, a bit o' coke, Uncle Keith's special blend, shrooms, acid and some shit I'm not quite sure of", He snorted a laugh. Chop then frowned as he thought it over, "Urm, I'll an acid. Save the rest for tomorrow, man as I actually wanna sleep tonight", The pair shared a laugh. Finn reached in for the small see-through packet that contained the little white pills, taking out one for Chop and one for himself before chucking the small packet back into the boot.

"Cheers, Finny boy", The pair playfully clinked their cans together before taking a sip of beer and swallowing their tablets, sharing a smirk. Chop went to walk off when Finn called out, "Chop, go get Rae for us", Chop gave a small salute with two fingers, causing Finn to shake his head and laugh. As Chop walked away, disappearing deeper into the forrest; Finn could feel his fingers begin to tingle and his head grew lighter. The effects of the pill danced all over his skin, causing him to smile. He tilted his head upwards and giggled (Yes, giggled) As the trees blended and warped, the orange and red leaves becoming swirls and blurs - the world suddenly on an axis.

"Someone's 'appy", Spoke a familiar voice, he lazily smiled as he slowly brought his head down - Rae now before him. "Raaaae!" He slurred, she rolled her eyes before asking, "Wha' did y' want?" He said nothing but ducked under the boot, causing her to frown with curiousity into what he was doing. He put his beer down, on the inside of the boot, placed a tablet on the tip of his tongue before moving over to her, he grabbed her face in his hands and smashed his lips against hers. She opened her mouth and gave his tonuge access, he passed over the tablet before pulling away; his hands still on her face. He gave her a smug but lazily smile, his eyes drooped as she swallowed the pill. She then raised her eyebrows, "Wha's this one?" "A present from Uncle Keith", He then pulled away before moving back over to the boot, he took out his beer and closed the hood before winking at her as he walked past and quipped, "Enjoy".

She watched him walk away before tilting her head back and sighing, tonight was going to be a long night and judging by the way how fit Finn looked...

She wasn't going to make it.

Chloe didn't stick around in Rae and Al's the following morning, instead she quietly slipped on her underwear, dress and shoes. She crept out the flat, passing a confused Trevor - Al's best mate - on the way. She left the block of flats and headed for home - well, Finn's. All she needed right now was one of Finn's jumpers, a cup of tea and the first season of FRIENDS on video - and plus a cheeky spliff wouldn't hurt.

As soon as she entered the flat, the horribly quiet and still flat, she headed straight for the kitchen; chucking Finn's mail onto the table. She saw he'd left a note for her on the fridge, his poorly written scrawl making her gigggle, it read, "Chlo, I've left but I'll be back for two on Sunday. Ope ya feel better soon, babe. Love ya x x x"

She rolled her eyes, Finn's lack of spelling often made Chloe wonder how Finn was such a brilliant poet and how he passed his O-levels. She then made her way through the flat, heading for Finn's bedroom. She headed for his wardrobe and scanned for a jumper, when one caught her eye on his bed - her favourite jumper of Finn's. She peeled off her own dress, stripping down to her underwear. She scrunched up her dress into a ball and chucked it on the bed, Finn's room already a tip. She threw on his jumper, inhaling the scent - CK1 and faded fabric softner. The jumper was long enough to cover her thighs and reached just above her knee, cashmire fabric and cream-coloured.

She pulled the sleeves down, covering her hands before huffing as she looked around - feeling a sudden wave of boredom. She knew she should've gone on the camping trip, but she knew her and Finn would end up arguing, he'd make up with Rae and then he'd run off to Rae, then the whole trip would be ruined. So, Chloe decided staying home was best. Once Chloe had turned on the heating, made a cup of tea and put FRIENDS into the video player; she snuggled down on the couch. She put her mug of tea onto the coffee table and felt underneath the couch, smiling smugly as she pulled out the small box; also known as Finn's weed stash where his grinder, papers and weed were always put.

She placed the box onto her knee and began to build a spliff, then rolled it - this being learnt from young when her dad taught her, so she could roll one if he were too drunk and couldn't do so. One built, rolled and lit, she took a drag and exhaled as she sunk into the couch - the effects of the spliff didn't take long to kick in. Chloe lazily giggled at an old re-run of Friends on the TV, Friends one of her favourite programs in the entire world. It was the episode where Ross said Rachel instead of Emily and it couldn't help but remind Chloe of a time where Finn accidentally called Chloe Rae in a fight; which hurt Chloe more than it should've. But she was in love with Al, so she'd be a hypocrite to say anything.

Now, when Chloe woke this morning; she thought she was going to hate herself for sleeping with him - but her numbness took over and she felt nothing. Actually she did feel one thing; smugness. Pure smugness, she had another thing over Rae - she had Al's affection. Sure, Rae had Finn's but Rae loved Al. Chloe was a bitch to Rae, but Rae was just as bad - hence why they were such good friends. Speaking of Rae and Finn, Chloe couldn't help but wonder what they were doing right now. She glanced at the clock and saw it was 9:48 AM and if they had taken anything last night, no way would they be awake now...

Speaking of Rae, once more, she woke up with a bitch of a hangover - the after-effects of acid and many shots of everything making her feel like death warmed up. She blinked a few times as she woke herself up, huffing before letting out a groan as a wave of motion sickness hitting her; she wanted to vomit everywhere. She took in her surroundings, noticing she was in her tent. She then felt someone's heat against her bones beside her and guessed it to be Izzy as they were tent buddies, after all. She then frowned as she noticed a very familiar black T-shirt at the bottom of her sleeping bag... A very familar black t-shirt that had Oasis written upon it. Then she noticed the jeans and socks... Then the boxers. Her eyes widened before she sharply turned and saw Finn beside her, who was now just as awake as she. Her mouth parted before she then croaked, "Oh fu...ck", Which caused his eyes to widen. She then asked, "Di... Did we...?" He then felt for something underneath his own sleeping bag before growing pale and pulling out a condom, a very much used condom and looking back at Rae, grimicing, "More than once by the looks of it".

After an awkward tension fell between them, the pair decided to get dressed and climb out the tent; the pair wincing at the daylight. They glanced around the campsight to see Archie and Johnny, a fire that was still sizzling which meant it must've burnt out naturally and scattered beer cans and bottles everywhere. Johnny was cooking sausages and bacon on the barbecue, Archie had already made himself a bacon butty and was chomping away. He smiled at Rae and Finn, mouth full of red sauce and bread, "Wonder when y' two were gonna wake up".

Rae mustered an awkward smile as where Finn asked, "Where's the other two?" Izzy then piped up, from her tent, "I'm in 'ere! Just gettin' dressed", "Is Chop with y'?" Finn asked, there was a pause before Izzy then spoke, "No! I think he went for a wee", Finn shrugged it off and walked over to Johnny, a sausage sandwich smothered in brown sauce the occupant of his mind. Rae then made her way over to one of the long, retangular shaped logs that the boys had set up as a seat; she glanced over at Finn, who was currently laughing at something at Johnny said. She then thought last night over, trying to piece everything together - but came back empty handed. When a thought then crossed her mind, Chloe was on the pill... So, what the hell was Finn doing with condoms in the first place?

Rae's thoughts were interuppted when the gang heard bushes rustling and footsteps, a moment or two passed when Chop then staggered into the camp - Izzy had even popped her head from the tent to have peak. He had bits of tree in his hair and was wearing nothing but boxers and white socks, he then groaned and croaked, "Anyone else cold or is it just me?" Which caused the gang to double over in laughter.

Once the gang were all more awake, fed and changed - Chop now fully clothed - they got the tunes flowing and were planning what to do today. Finn and Izzy were sat together as Finn eyed Archie and Rae with jealousy, Archie had obvious cracked a joke as he grinned at Rae cheekily and she laughed as if it were the funniest thing in the world. Finn felt a nudge against his shoulder and came back to reality, the nudge belonging to Izzy, "Wha' y' keep starin' at?" She asked, her little Izzy smile upon her face. He shook his head and frowned, "Nowt, why?" She rolled her eyes, "Finn, y've been frownin' and glarin' at summat for the past ten minutes and I..." She then followed his gaze as he'd began staring again and saw it led to Archie and Rae, before clicking on "Ohhh... Y'know Finn, green isn't y' colour".

He caught what she said and sharply turned to her, "Y' wha'? Me? Jealous? The fuck did tha' come from?" She gave him a look before scoffing, "God, y' are such a boy sometimes", He then gave her a look before getting her in a head lock, causing her to squeal, "Finn! Y' messin' up me 'air!" "Take it back then!" "Oh piss off!" He gave her a really hard noogie, which caused her to smack him before he playfully sung, "Take it ba-aa-aa-ck", In which she mocked back, "Piss oo-oo-ff".

Rae watched them, a smile upon her lips - she loved how playful they were. See, the difference between Rae and Finn was, was that it was rare occurance that Rae got jealous over Finn being around girls as he was around that many. As where Finn saw red every time a lad flirted with Rae - he was even like that when lads were like that over Izzy. It was his "Older brother" Instincts kicking in, well, it's what he pegged it down to, "So, I'm guessin' y' and Finn are alright now", Archie asked, in which Rae nodded, "Yeh, we are. Thank God", Archie gave a grin and an eyeroll, "Y' worse than 'im and Chloe sometimes", She gave him a look which he retaliated with, "Ok, maybe that were a bit extreme..." In which the pair burst into a fit of giggles.

Chop then clapped, "Right, if I 'ave y' attention please. Johnny's just told me that there's a fair up the road and it's free. Which means, kiddos, time to hit the road".

Chloe hadn't realised that she'd fell asleep, until she heard a knock on the front door and woke with a startle. She frowned, wondering how someone had got into the block of flats without her buzzing them in. She swung her legs off the couch and made her way through the flat and to the front door, she unhinged the chain and swung open the door; to reveal Nelly. Chloe felt something kick at her chest, causing her to hide halfway behind the door; covering her bare legs, "Oh, hi, Nelly. Wha' are y' doin' 'ere?" Nelly smiled at her, eyes hungry, "Just came t' see me lad, he 'ome?" "No, sorry. He's on a campin' trip till Suday", Nelly sighed, faux disappointment within his voice, "Well tha's a shame. Mind if I come in?" Not waiting for her answer, he headed inside. In which she spoke to thin air, "Oh why won't y' come in?" Before closing the door, an uneasy feeling wavering in her stomach.

The gang had decided to be on the safeside and pack all their tents and stuff into the cars, just in case. They were soon packed up, given directions and on the road. An awkward silence fell between Rae and Finn as they drove, unsure of whether to turn the radio on or to leave it - they chose the latter.

"Finn, about last ni-" She was cut off by the walkie talkie crackling from the dashboard then Archie's voice, "Johnny, about last night-" Johnny snapped, "Leave it, Archie. It's been and done", Archie then huffed, "But it hasn't just been and done, look. I don't care wha' anyone else thinks, alright? So, wha'. We've slept together an-" "Archie, I said leave it as it doesn't matter, now. Alright!?" There was a pause, Archie or Johnny must've been sitting on the talk button. Rae and Finn shared a frown before Archie then sighed and snapped, "Weren't sayin' tha' last week though were y'?" Johnny then huffed, "Don't, Archie", Archie then scoffed, "So, wha' y' sayin' tha', tha' night didn't matter? Well y'know wha', I don't care who knows. Ok? I love y', Johnny and I know y' love me".

Which caused Rae and Finn's mouths to drop into an 'O' and suddenly, their situation didn't seem to matter anymore.


	20. Chapter 20 - smut

There was a fine line between being in love with somebody and feeling deeply attracted to someone, lust; if you will and Finn was currently dancing on that very fine line. There was an uneasy feeling within his stomach that morning, a feeling that could only resememble sickness - very similar to motion sickness and it wasn't due to his hangover. When he woke and saw her glossy jet black strands of hair spilling over the pillow beside him, he knew he was in the shit. If Finn was being perfectly honest, he wasn't feeling guilty over the fact he had slept with her but more due to the fact how drunk and high they were and how he didn't actually get to - shall we say - experience it? Experience... Finn guessed that was the word he was looking for, his brain too mashed to scramble for a word in that hungover little mind of his. Then another thought crossed his mind;

_What if they didn't actually sleep together?_

No, the condom, dried sweat, scratch marks and nakedness proved otherwise. Finn needed a cup of tea, a smoke and a place to have a good think. Now, Finn knew there was a difference between thinking you felt something and actually feeling it - and Finn knew he wasn't imaging this feeling. He knew he was feeling something strong for Rae but he was too scared to actually admit it, just in case she didn't reciprocate and threw it back in his face - followed by laughter and telling everyone else. That 'Everyone else' Involving a certain skinny and beautiful brunett-

"Finn", Snapped Rae from the passenger's seat, he looked at her slowly and asked in a dazed, "Wha'?" She then rolled her eyes and gave a playful smile before mocking, "You're wanderin'", Taking the piss from all the times he'd ever said that to her, in which he snapped out of it and played along, "Fuck off! I'm 'ungover!" Which she pulled a face at him, and, of course, he replicated before the pair smirked at each other. Rae then said, "Oh! And we're almost there Chop said", Finn nodded slowly, letting the information sink in, "Cool", The pair then grew silent and wrapped up in their own hungover thoughts - mainly revolving around last night.

It wasn't too long before the sight of the fairground was ahead and it looked sick - despite it being only one in the afternoon and it'd probably look even more amazing with the lights and all that jazz. But it was amazing, nonethless. It was a large, standard, traveling funfair that was set out on a long and ridiculously green field. At the enterance was a large overhead opening with a clown's head and flashing lights, on the tongue of the clown balanced and spilled out a long sign that read; "HULL FAIR - ENTERANCE". Within the fair, the gang could see the typical amusement games - such as 'hook-a-duck'. A candyfloss and confectionary stand, burger and chips stand, etc - something the lads had already eyed up. There was a ride with swings on it that must have reached at least 100 ft. A rollercoaster, a ball that flung people in the air - basically every carnival ride you could imagine and love. Even from within the car you could hear the music blasting, the screams and just overall funfair buzz.

As the cars of three pulled into the dirt and grass car park, Rae beamed and Finn boomed, "Mate, am buzzing!" Before doing his little finger snap and beaming. Rae then giggled and it caused something to waver in Finn's stomach, something that caused him to grow lost in thought. He snapped out of it when Rae asked, "Y' comin'?" Finn nodded, "Yeh, just gimme a sec. Feel dead sick", Rae scoffed a laugh and playfully quipped, "Shouldn't drink so much then should y'", In which he rolled his eyes but smirked at her. Rae then climbed out, shutting the door after her and walking over to the others. Finn watched from the car before huffing and exhaling, rubbing a hand over his face. He couldn't believe what he was going to ask her but he needed to, otherwise he'd spend the rest of his life wondering what could've been...

As soon as Finn stepped out the car the smell of sugary doughnuts and burgers wafted into his face, causing his stomach to curdle but also twitch with hunger - grease and sugar were Finn's answer to hangovers. Every time. He gave a head nod as he approached everyone, who were far too busy arguing over what to go on first - well all apart from Rae. Rae honestly couldn't give two shits about what they went on, just as long as she got to ride the waltzers - even with a hangover she was still willing to get on them. Rae and Finn shared an eyeroll before tuning in, just as Chop spoke up, "Right, everyone shut the fuck up! Now, we'll start off with the big swings, make it an easy one first. Then the miami wave, then the slingshot, then the big wheel, that big weird ball thingy, dodgems, the waltzers, the twister and _then _the rollercoaster. Tha' fair enough? Yeh?" He asked looking at everyone who nodded before Rae piped up, "As long as I get t' go on waltzers, I don't give a shit", Which caused Chop to smile before jokingly quipping, "'ere are Finn, they've got a kid's bit. Y' can go there", In which Finn pulled a face before the two messed about as the gang made their way inside.

Finn then fell to the back of the group with Rae, lowly asking out of ear shot, "D'y' reckon Chop and Iz 'eard Archie and Johnny before?" Dodging a passerby as he looked at Rae, Rae shook her head, "No as he wouldn't be 'ow he is", She said, nodding in the direction of Chop; who currently had Johnny in a head lock and sharing a laugh with Archie, before continuing, "Chop doesn't do subtle", Which caused Finn to grin before he grew serious, "Listen, Rae, can we talk later? Need to ask y' summat", She frowned, "An' why can't y' tell me now?" He gave her a cheeky look, "Cause I like t' piss y' off", Before he then jogged ahead, in which she called out, "Prick!" Causing him to turn, jogging backwards as he smirked at her before he turned back and joined everyone. Rae stood for a moment, shaking her head - what the bloody hell could he want now?

Chloe felt on edge, her skin itchy under his stare. Well, not exactly his stare but more his presence as he wasn't exactly staring at her but he was still there. It was weird, the tension. It felt as if it was pressing down on her, weighing her down but also - felt like nothing. Tension, it's an odd thing. A very odd thing, it's like it's there and you can feel it but it's also as if it's not there and makes you wonder whether that other somebody can feel it too - which appeared that Nelly didn't seem to feel.

Chloe currently sat upright on the couch, all shoulders tense and fingers fidgeting. Whilst Nelly sat on the armchair, slumped and relaxed; smoking on a cigarette. Chloe's video tape of Friends was now finished and only the black, grey and white blury lines came up - leaving the room more silent than needed to be. Chloe then sighed before asking, "D'y' want a cup o' tea or-" "No, ta", He said, cutting her off as he exhaled some of his cigarette. She pulled a face, eyes wide at his rude tone. She then continued, rising to her feet and edging towards the door, "Well, am just gonna go make one as I-" "Sit down", He quipped, in which she frowned. Over his shoulder he barked, "Sit down", As if she were some obediant lap dog. Her mouth dropped into an 'O' And she frowned, incredulous. But once realising he wasn't backing down, she took back to her spot on the couch.

Another long pause took place before he leaned forward and stumped out his cigarette in the ash tray on the coffee table before he leaned back and another moment passed. Chloe then huffed, "Look, Nelly, if it's money y' wantin' then we-" He shook his head, cutting her off, "Ain't money I want, it's more of an.. An agreement", She frowned, off her look he rose to his feet, moved over to the couch and sat closely beside her... Too close for Chloe's liking. She felt all hairs on her arms and the back of her neck rise in fear, but he seemed so laid back... It set her on edge.

He then spoke, "Y'know, y' a very pretty girl, Chloe. Our Finn is a very lucky lad", Not letting her guard down, she folded her arms and snapped, "Wha' d'y' want, Nelly?" He smirked, his eyes hungry, "Now, now, no need to get snappy", His tone patronizing but laced with, somewhat, amusement. She pushed her tongue against her bottom lip and scoffed, shaking her head. She then froze as she felt his finger lightly graze her thigh up and down, which she then glowered and pulled her leg away; shooting a glare. He then scoffed a laugh, "Didn't take y' as the fragile type, Chloe", The way he spoke her name made her want to vomit, she then snapped, "Yeh, well I 'ave a boyfriend", He gave her a look, "Weren't sayin' that t' Alistar though, were y'?" She sharply looked at him, feeling all blood drain right to her toes, "Wha'?" She asked quietly, suddenly unable to find her voice.

He then rose to his feet before looking down at her and sarking, "Just keep tha' in mind for next time, babe", He then leaned down, kissed her on the cheek and swaggered out - a sudden spring in his step. Chloe stayed still, until she heard the front door creak open and slam shut; she then felt her eyes fill up. She ran a hand roughly through her hair and sniffed before barking, "Shit!"

It was just getting to past two in the afternoon and all they had left were the dodgems and the waltzers as they'd rode everything else at least twice and even managed to squeeze a few games in. They were in the que for the dodgems, Johnny and Chop were two couples from the front, Izzy and Finn were behind them and Rae and Archie were at the back. Johnny and Chop had their backs to the two in front of them in the que and as they were messing about Johnny accidentally knocked into one of the girls behind them, "Oh shit, sorry", He spoke as he turned, he then noted the two girls behind him and his lips curled into a smile as he recognised the shorter girl of the two, she returned his smile, "It's alright", He then took in her face before shaking his head, realising he'd been staring and felt like a right weirdo, "S... Sorry, it's just I know y' face from somewhere", She then giggled, "Maybe cause we went to school together for eleven years".

It then slowly kicked and a wave of feelings washed over him as it all clicked, it was Brogan. Fit Brogan as he used to call her or, his childhood crush. (Johnny was Bi, just to clear up confusion.) He'd fancied Brogan ever since she pulled out her Spiderman lunchbox back in Year One. He then clicked and pointed a finger at her, "Y' Brogan aren't y'?" Taking the piss, she replicated his click and point before giggling, "An' y' Johnny", He snorted a laugh before he shook his head, incredulous, "Fuckin' 'ell, ain't seen y' in time", He said as the pair went for a hug, he asked as they pulled away, "Y' been alright?" She nodded, "Yeh, y'?" He nodded, "Yeh! 'Ow's y' mam? She alright?" She sighed, folding her arms, "She's so-so, better than she was though", He nodded, sympathy playing on his face. He and Brogan shared a shy smile before he turned to her friend, suddenly feeling intrusive and like a bit of a knob, "Sorry", He extended a hand, "I'm Johnny". Her friend took his hand and spoke, "Kirsty", He gave her a smile before turning back to Brogan as he pulled away his hand. He went to speak when he heard a cough from behind, he turned and saw the gang staring at him; frowns and offense that he hadn't introduced them playing upon their faces. He then turned to Brogan, "Oh! Yeh, Brogan this is Chop, Ra-" She giggled, "Don't worry, I remember everyone", Before she leaned to her left slightly, giving everyone a little wave - which was reciprocated with just head nods and mumbles. The group were not really the welcoming type.

Johnny and Brogan then turned back to each other, Johnny then asked, "So, wha' y' doin' now? Y' at college or anythin'?" She shrugged, "Workin'", He went to ask something else when he felt Chop tug on his over-sized plaid shirt and say, "C'mon before someone gets it before us", In referral to a bumper car. He gave Brogan a sympathetic smile and shouted as he was being dragged onto the ride, "S'y' later yeh!?"

Although he suddenly felt on cloud 9, he couldn't shake the uneasy feeling from Archie's burning stare. He climbed into the passenger's seat of his and Chop's little bumper car - Chop being the driver. Finn and Izzy were paired, Finn being their driver. Which left Archie and Rae but Rae took the role of the driver as Archie even agreed that he was useless at that kind of shit. Firestarter by The Prodigy began to blast, the gang and other riders were rearing to go. Finn clocked Rae and narrowed his eyes at her which she replicated and they were off, cars knocking ten bells out of each other, laughter boomed along with screeches and screamings - with the occasional swear.

Rae and Archie then saw Finn and Izzy were cornered, so, Rae zoomed over and came crashing into Finn's car - earning a scream from Izzy which transcended into laughter. Finn gasped before playfully glowering and booming, "Y' cheeky bitch!" Earning a howl of laughter from Rae and Archie - the chase began. Rae dodged in-n-out of fellow drivers, Finn on her tail.

Where Johnny and Chop were concerned, they were trying their best to involve themselves into the gang's little chase - but Johnny couldn't help himself and kept on persuing after Brogan and Kirsty. But in a certain moment Johnny glanced at Archie and the world slowed down, his stomach fluttered as he watch Archie laughing with Rae as they played cat and mouse with Finn and Izzy - sometimes two people are made for each other but aren't meant to be together.

Once they'd finished their rounds of rides, they were all starving and were in need of grease. Rae, Finn and Archie bought a tray of chips each - Finn decided to be greedy and get a cheese burger with onions and tomato ketchup as well - Izzy just stuck to candy floss, and Chop and Johnny went halves on a tray of chips as neither were feeling up to having a full one each. Rae glanced around the group and could only feel bliss, pure bliss. No messed up thoughts, no sadness or emptiness - not even happiness - just content and bliss. She couldn't recall the last time she felt this feeling, the sadness and hallowness of everything over taking the feeling of normality that she felt a time ago.

Everyone wants to be happy. Some seek happines differently from others, some seek happiness through music, some through writing, some through people and some through their job - but all for the same reason. Happiness. It's a funny little thing and a funny little word, you can feel it through the little things, such as;

- Drinking tea.

- Discovering old photographs.

- Finding things you thought you had lost a long, long time ago.

- A smile from a stranger.

- Buying new shampoo and conditioner.

- Having lazy sex on a Sunday afternoon.

- Or even so much as a text.

You can also feel it through the big things, such as;

- A birthday.

- Finally dating the person you've liked for years.

- Giving/recieving a present.

- Somebody or yourself, even, finding out they're/you're pregnant after years of trying.

- Somebody getting engaged.

- Having sex with somebody you love for the first time (Despite it being awkward).

From big to small, happiness is important and it's very much like sadness and pain: It demands to be felt. Our minds are fascinating, you never find yourself seeking for happiness as much as you seek for sadness. Let's be honest, we love feeling sorry for ourselves - not feeling happy with ourselves. We prefer to be sad than happy. But we never know why... It becomes so much more easier to sit and think everything over and cry to our little heart's content, instead of brushing everything away and celebrating the little every day achievements. Because we're stupid and selfish like that. We choose the easier and short-lasting option, rather than the harder and long-lasting option. Because we are that lazy. But, when happiness is there - we bathe in it. We bask in the glory that is happiness but we don't max it out to it's full potiental and fully appreciate it.

Another thing that stops happiness: Pride. We'd rather be stubborn and keep to ourselves than let ourselves be happy.

Or maybe that's just Britain.

But say, for example, you could recieve ten compliments within the space of minutes of each other but then have one negative comment an hour later and that comment will stay with you, not only for the day, but for the rest of your life. It gets under your skin and lives inside of you, until it eats you alive and consumes your every thought - it controls and swallows you whole. It's like depression, the only way depression could be described is like you're drowing excepting you can see everyone around you living and breathing.

Depression.

Another funny little thing and another funny little word. Depression is an amazing thing in the sense of how common it has become - especially in teenagers. Shock horror, teenagers can actually get depressed! That was sarcasm, if you didn't notice. But depression, you grow so accustomed to it that you don't feel it anymore. You don't feel anything anymore. You just feel empty, and that's it. You can't cry, you can't sleep, or eat and whenever you laugh - you can't feel it.

Did you feel happy at the beginning of this part but then suddenly sad? That's pretty much the mood swings of what a depressive goes through daily. Your happiness is so short - you feel as if you imagined it. It's frightening but then you get used to it. It weighs you down, until you feel as if you're weighed down onto your bed and you can't move. Even washing your hair or speaking becomes such a task. Usually with a depressive you think it'd be so easy to spot one, but it's not. You think they'd walk around with greasy hair, tired eyes and a slumped posture - but no. Depressives walk around with the biggest smiles, the loudest laugh and the most well looked after appearance. A depressive is the most clever and decieving person you could possibly imagine, they give the best advice and know exactly how to make you happy within seconds - because they never want you to feel the way they do when they lie alone. Never underestimate a depressive.

You never know who's one.

Hence why nobody suspected Rae. Loud-mouth, always happy and funny Rae. So, when she did snap - it surprised everybody. Even Finn, and he watched her spiral downwards from the beginning.

As it reached four and the sun began to slowly set, the gang decided to leave the fair on a candyfloss high. They all climbed into the cars in their pairs and left the funfair car park, Rae decided she didn't wanna sit in silence and she most definitely didn't wanna come off this high by talking about last night with Finn. So, she put on the radio and Please Please Please by The Smiths lulled out through the car. The pair sung along, all chilled, all smiles and all peaceful. Neither of them knew whether it was the soft and lazed tones from the song, the glow from the sun or the after-buzz from the fair but they just knew they were happy.

But they were about to get even happier as, as soon as they reached the camp they re-set everything up and soon got the beers flowing. Time had passed and the only glow came from the flickers of the blazing campfire the boys had set up, the gang all sat round it - Archie and Rae sat as one, Finn sat on his own and the other trio sat together. Rae drank a vodka and coke, Finn and Johnny drank a bottle of budweiser whilst both smoking a joint each, Archie was passed out, Izzy just stuck to water and Chop was off his face on something.

Now, despite Chop having a bad past with drugs; he still did them. Just not frequently, it was mainly weed he did - the rest of the drugs only every now and again unlike when he used to do them almost every day.

Finn eyed Rae over his beer and felt a slight twitch come from his jeans, the effects of the acid, weed and alcohol increasing his hormones more than usual - and Rae got him going at the best of times. She clocked him and he raised his eyebrows at her before cocking his head to the woods, she caught on and gave a little head nod - her eyes slightly glazed. He placed his beer on the floor, flicked away his joint, rose to his feet and headed into the woods without a word, nobody bothering to look up as everyone was too drunk, high and wrapped in conversation - Archie the stiff couldn't really pipe up as he was passed out.

Rae counted to ten, placed her plastic cup on the floor and then rose to her feet; following Finn. She found him through the darkness of the trees, the outline of his frame as he walked. She called out, her words slurred, "Finn?" He paused and looked over his shoulder, his lips cocked into an open smirk - a look that Rae had never seen Finn pull, one of the sexiest smirks and looks Finn had ever gave. He then approached her, his body trapping her between himself and a large oak tree behind her. She then asked, "Wha's up? I'm sure it's not to show me 'ow fantastic the trees are", He gave a drunken laugh as he looked towards the ground before he slurred, "I wanted t' ask y' summat", He took a moment, trying to find the words the place in a non-vulgar way. He frowned before saying as he looked at her, "Look, fuck it. Am just gonna come out with it as it's been bothering me for weeks, now, y' can say no if y' want t' but basically 'ow would y' feel about... Y'know... Me an' y'?" She frowned, "Finn, am not sure am followin'", He huffed with impatience, "Wha' am sayin' is 'ow would y' like to 'ave sex with me, an affair if y' want, for a week straight and if y' don't like it then we can stop and if y' do then we can carry it on until we either get caught out or get bored".

She paused, frowning... Had she heard right? By the look on his face, she heard exactly right. She didn't mean to come out with it but it were as if her lips weren't attatched to her brain as she asked, "But, wha' about Chloe and Al?" He scoffed, "Oh, fuck 'em, Rae!" Rae frowned, folding her arms, "Wow, some boyfriend y' are", Her tone harsh and sarcastic. He scoffed, "And Al's an angel?" His tone was just as harsh. She glowered, what he was implying was something Rae knew to be true and was enough to infuriate her; she then scoffed, "Y' can be a spiteful little cunt sometimes, Finn", Before she stormed past him. But he wasn't going to let her or this go, so, he jogged after her and grabbed her by the wrist, "Rae!" She then turned, bellowing, "Wha'?!" He then slurred, "Fuck it", Before placing his hands on her face and pulling her in for a kiss. She pushed away and smacked him harshly across the face before huffing and pulling him in, laying a massive kiss upon his lips.

It was enough to start the pair off, the anger mixed with the cocktail of drugs and alcohol increasing their hormones more than ever before. She then backed him into a tree and pulled away, giving him a look that showed it was her turn to be in control. He then whispered, "Rae?" She gave a wicked smirk before lowering herself onto her knees, on a perfect level with his crotch. In record timing, she unfastened his jeans, whipping them and his boxers down to his ankles - his penis sprang to attention. He then slurred, "But wha' if someone sees?" She looked up, giving him a look, "And, wha', y' were 'appy 'avin' sex?" He snorted a laugh, "Fair point", His laughter turned to a hiss of pleasure as her lips came into contact with his head. She ran her tongue from his shaft right up back to his head before she began to get to work. Her head bobbed as she sucked and licked, earning deep throaty moans from Finn. He gripped her hair hard whenever she take him from certain angles, an overload of pleasure coursing through his veins whenever she did so - especially when her teeth grazed along his head. He wanted her, he needed to feel every inch of her. But the way her lips and tongue curled around him kept him still - his eyes glazing over as he focused on how good her hands felt cupping his arse and how talented her tonuge was. As she bobbed, sucked, grazed and even used her hands; Finn could feel himself coming to his close, well, it had been a good thirty minutes - maybe even longer as they stopped every so often due to noises. One more bob and Finn lost it, his head tilting back and rest against the tree as he felt his hormones hightened as he came to his end - well she beat any girl he'd ever recieved a blow job from.

And that was saying something.

She rose to her feet, wiping the corners of her mouth. Finn noticed as he pulled up his boxers and jeans, he jokingly quipped, "Mmm, classy", Which earned a laugh. He then fastened his jeans before he asked, "So am guessing tha's a yes then?"


	21. Chapter 21

The click of the lid and fizzing coming from Archie's redbull can was like music to his ears, he took a long gulp and felt a lot more stable as soon as the amber, cold liquid slid down his throat - his hangover in raging and unfortuante form. Last night events were heavier than last, so heavy that Archie had woken up halfway in the tent with no top on. The gang were far more chilled and quiet today, their voices too loud for their sensitive, hungover hearing. Archie had to admit, he couldn't remember the last time he'd ever drunk without getting a hangover - the thought of alcohol enough to make his stomach lurch. Now, to adults and outsiders it looked as if the gang were heavy drug abusers who drunk alcohol as if it were going out of fashion; but they weren't - they were just having a good time! No harm, no foul and all that.

As Archie drank his Redbull and tried to remember last night's events, only pieces came back in small fragments - mainly images of Johnny. Archie glanced over at Johnny from across the camp and felt only confusion, Johnny was currently talking to Finn; who had his hood up and was chewie on a drawstring of his zip-up hoodie in thought as he listened to Johnny. Johnny quipped a remark, causing Finn to drop the drawstring from his mouth, let out a laugh and began to take down his tent. Finn said something, which caused Johnny to let out a howl of laughter. Johnny then caught Archie's eye before quickly turning away and helping Finn.

"Archie!" Archie heard before a hand landed on his shoulder, he jumped; causing sploshes of redbull to overspill from the can and splatter on the the grass below. He turned and saw Rae, he let out an exhale, "Fuckin' 'ell, Rae. Nearly shit me kecks then", She let out a snort of laughter before she asked, "Y' ready t' go?" Archie nodded, "Yeh, all mine and Johnny's stuff in the car. Just waitin' for y' lazy bastards", He quipped jokingly, in which she boomed, "Y' cheeky fucker!" The pair shared a laugh, Rae's laughter quietened before she took a moment of thought, before continuing, "Listen, Archie, the other day whe-" "Rae!" Called out Chop from by his tent, she gave Archie a look of sorry before throwing on her "Rae face" And walking over to Chop, shouting, "Wha' now, dick'ed!?"

There was one thing that always amazed Archie about Rae and it was her ability to switch from vulnerablity to her loud-persona within seconds, it was almost an art - as Finn once said. He then frowned, what could she want? Now, as spontenous and random Rae could be; it was usually in a funny and sarcastic manner - but look on her face told otherwise. Archie then made a mental note to collar her over it later, Finn then called Archie over for help... His turn to turn on his own loud-persona.

Rae and Finn had decided that they were going to do this little fling for a week, a trial - if you will. On the drive home there was something different about the two, not so much of a sexual difference - but more a relaxed difference. Her agreement opened, somewhat, of a mental gateway between the two. On the drive home they could be as touchy, flirty and kissy as they wanted - and they didn't have to hide. They were out of prying eyes, they could be Rae and Finn - the two that were always meant to be. To Finn, it felt more right than it did to Rae - obviously Al in the back of her mind, constantly. The thought of Chloe had crossed Finn's mind occasionally but he mentally swatted it away, what's done was done and he was going through with this - With Rae's permission, of course. That was also another thought nesting in Finn's mind, the constant worry of her pulling out of this last minute - her love for Al taking over and shooting Finn down. It'd had only been, what, two hours? God, if he was like this now - imagine what he'd be like over the next 7 days...

Obviously this was going to be no fairytale romance, this was going to be a bogstandard, sneaking around, tiresome affair - full of quickies and secret glances. But, it was what drove Rae to agreeing to it; the excitement made her take this little challenge head on. Rae being Rae loved a good challenge and this was the excitement she so desperately needed in her black and white, boxed life. She was in love with the idea of this seedy little fling, most would say it was wrong but that was also another thing that helped Rae agree - going against her morals and everyone else's. Rae's heart would race at the thought of the little touches he'd give, eg. Pinching her arse and then smirking as he walked away, or their hands brushing against one another's as they walked amongst the group. Speaking of touches, one thing they could do in view of the gang was the whole writing messages on each other - it was their thing and always had been - And no one in the gang would bat an eyelid, and the thought of writing certain types of messages on Finn's thigh and in front of everyone made Rae want to vomit with excitement. The torments from Chloe, about Rae being bigger and about how lads didn't like it made Rae want to wank Finn off in front of Chloe whilst putting her middle finger up. Suck on that, Choe.

"Wha' y' thinkin' about?" Finn asked as he stroked her arm, the pair were currently lying in Finn's bed - nothing but a duvet to cover their modesty, well Rae also wore her T-shirt as being completely naked in front of Finn was something Rae was not quite comfortable with. He had an arm around her shoulder, playing with a strand of her hair as she curled into his side and rested her head into the crook of his neck. She frowned before playfully quipping, "I was just thinkin' about... 'ow am gonna tell y' about 'ow much y' stink", He then smirked before quipped, "Oh 'ave a word", The two shared a laugh before Finn lifted his head up a little and then back down as he tried to find a more comfortable position. Finn then looked over the top of her head, watching her hair fall through his fingers like silk, "I don't want y' t' go", She sighed into his chest, "As much as I 'ate t' say it, I 'ave t' as mum's expecting me for tea", He then dropped his hand onto the pillow and frowned, "Can't y' just ring up and say y' ill?" She shook her head, "No, as I 'aven't been round in ages", There was a pause before Finn then whined, "But Raeeee", She then mocked, "But Fiiiiinn".

She then sat up, swung her legs around, sat on the edge of the bed and searched the floor for her jeans. Once found, she slid them up her legs, shimming into them as she stood before fastening them up. He sat up and watched her as she threw on her Converse and shrugged on her plaid shirt, he then scratched the back of his ear as it grew awkward; the pair unsure whether to kiss or just say goodbye. He then asked, "Y' comin' down the pub after?" She shook her head, "No, mum wants me t' stay over", He then nodded slowly, "Fair enough", Another awkward silence fell between the two before Rae then piped up, "Am gonna go, s'y' later yeh?" He then nodded and as she left he then called out, humour in his tone, "Cause tha' wasn' awkward!" In which she called back, "Piss off!" He let out a laugh.

A moment or two passed before he heard the front door creak open and close, once he heard so; he threw himself onto the bed and ran his hands over his face and through his hair. He let out an exhale and widened his eyes before scoffing a laugh of disbelief, he had finally done it. He had finally got his shit together and got rid of that bastard sexual elephant in the room that always stood between him and Rae. He and Rae were finally together, well, of sorts as it was early days - and he was still with somebody else. Sure, it was just a bit of a laugh and sex; but it was a start. Now, how Finn was going to get through this little fling without letting it slip that he loved her was beyond him...

Finn decided he needed a bit of normality, a bit of chill time and laughter - no more of this drama and bullshit. As evening transcended into night, Finn made his way to The Vaults. It wasn't as busy, so it was easy to scope the gang out - well, they were at their regular table; so it was easy to spot them anyway. Chloe sprinted over, almost knocking him down as her arms flung around his neck. His arms automatically slid around her waist and he planted a massive kiss upon her lips, he then began playfully pecking her face with kisses; causing her to giggle. A massive grin spilled onto his lips as he took in her face, he had to admit; he had missed her, "Hi", He jokingly quipped. She laughed and rolled her eyes, "Iya", The pair shared another kiss before they shared a massive hug, he groaned, "Fuck me I've missed ya", He then kissed her temple before hugging her tighter, his chin resting on her shoulder, "When y' two love birds are done, maybe y'd like t' join us", Piped up Chop. Finn rolled his eyes as he and Chloe pulled away, Chloe had her back to Finn; causing him to slid his arms around her stomach and rest his chin on her shoulder. He scanned the table and all but Rae were there and Finn knew why but to keep the act going, so he frowned as he asked "Where's Rae?" Chop shrugged before saying, "Dunno, 'er mam's or summat", Finn nodded, "Fair do's", He then pulled away from Chloe but kept one arm around her waist as he took a place in her seat, pulling her onto his lap and securing her with his hands across her stomach.

"So, wha' we talkin' about?" Finn asked, eyebrows raised. Izzy took a sip of her water before saying with an eyeroll, "About red top milk", In which Finn let out a laugh, "Y' fuckin' wha'?" Izzy then sighed, "Ask knob'ed over 'ere", She said, knocking her elbow into Chop; who piped up, "No, right, 'ear me out yeh. Red top milk is the worst out of 'em all, it just taste like milk flavoured water", Izzy then argued, "It does not! It's well nice, especially in tea", Chop then frowned as he leaned forward, resting one arm on the table, pointing the beer mat he was playing with in his other hand at her and using it as he talked "Wha' fuckin' world d'y' live in? Red top milk is rank", Before he then chucked the beer mat onto the table and sitting back. Johnny then exhaled some of his smoke and used his cigarette as he talked, "Sorry, Iz. Am gonna 'ave t' agree with Chop and say it's the worst of milks, it taste like cat piss", In which Archie then asked, just before he took a sip of his pint, "'ang on, 'ow d'ya know wha' cat piss tastes like?" Which Finn then joked, sarcasm dripped from his tone like beer dripped from Archie's pint glass, "Yeh, Johnny. 'ow would y'know wha' cat piss tastes like? Y' dirty bastard", Causing the gang to double over and Johnny just shook his head, unable to stop the smirk from twitching upon his lips.

As time grew on, Finn relaxed more and more; it was nice to be back to normal. Well, as normal as he could be. Although it did feel strange without Rae being his wingman, he brushed it off as he could see Rae any time he wanted. It grew to ten and there was no signs of anybody leaving just yet, Finn rested his chin on Chloe's shoulder; who was still sat on his knee and talking about something on telly with Al. Chloe then put the conversation on hold as she took a sip of her vodka and coke, Finn then asked her, "Chlo", She then swallowed her drink and asked, "Mm?" "Wha' d'y' fancy doin' tomorrow? After we break-up for Christmas term?" This being in referal to their third anniversary, something Finn never forgot as it was exactly one week before Christmas. She then shrugged, trying to play it cool at the fact he'd remembered, "Well, wha' d'y' wanna do?" He then he rolled his eyes, "Are we realllyyy gonna start this?" In which she snorted a laugh, he then turned all soft, "I love y'", In which she joked, "Eurgh! Y' big girl", In which he rolled his eyes before his bladder craved his attention, "Stand up a sec, babe. Need a wee", He then lifted her off his knee as he rose before quickly leaving for the toilets.

Once his bladder was taken care of, he zipped up his fly and turned. He jumped slightly to see Al in the doorway of the toilets, in which he asked, "Oh, alright, mate?" Al said nothing but stared, causing Finn to feel a little more than awkward. Finn rushed over to the sinks and began washing his hands, once washed; he wiped the excess driplets onto his jeans. Al said nothing but watched Finn, Finn felt more than uncomfortable and gave Al a small, tight-lipped smile as he quickly exited the toilets. Al gave a smirk to himself as Finn left, the smirk that showed he knew the truth and by Finn's uncomfortable fidgeting he displayed only moments ago confirmed that sacred information that Al knew - Which caused the clogs in Al's wicked mind to turn as plans began to create and were born.

Let the games begin, Finny boy.


	22. Chapter 22

Rae couldn't understand what triggered it, what kicked off her thoughts but yet they were there. She had just finished dinner with Linda and Karim, they had sausage cassarole with tiger bread, conversation flowed nicely, laughter was shared along with a few glasses of mulled wine - something Linda had around Christmas and let Rae join in with as she was of age. Rae was happy, well, emphasise on was as she was currently lying in bed; tears down her face and her heart heavy within her chest.

It all starts with a thought... Then a thought turns into an action... And then followed by consequences. Well, if it's bad; that is. It's terrifying to think how one little thought can snowball into such a moutain of problems. That's how it started with Rae, a thought - well, a thought from something someone had told her. She remembers it, as clear as day. You wouldn't believe with how close Rae and Finn were and how long they'd known each other, that Finn used to be in the clique that bullied Rae and were the main source behind her breakdown.

_Well, he didn't bully Rae but he didn't exactly stop it. Although they hung out together after school and they had knew each other since they were young, it didn't mean anything where the school's food chain was concerned. As it were written a few chapters earlier, Finn was a little shit in school, one of the lads and hung round in the "Top dog" Clique. Now, as the years grew on and the torments grew worse; she eventually had gotten used to it. Until that day, the day it began the downward spiral. Rae remembers the date, it was March 15th 1996 and it was the run up to her A-Levels - Leaving Rae stressed enough as it was, plus everything in between. Although Chloe was also a popular, she still hung round with Rae and the pair had just departed from the library after studying for their science exam that were to take place that following afternoon. Rae was not only the stressed one, Finn was a ball of anger, stress and arrogance; finding anything to take it all out on - his mum and dad's constant fighting, the fear of failing his GCSEs and not getting into college with everyone along with everything in between. It was just reaching to lunch, meaning the corridors were clear and Rae could walk without any worries... That is, until she heard, "Alright, Jabba?" She sighed, shutting her eyes before reopening them and continuing to walk. That is, until she felt an arm drape around her shoulder; she shuddered as she knew it belonged to the leader of the little group that always tormented her. He went by the name of Jason, grey eyes that were cold and held a constant glint of amusement and wickedness, buzzcut and stocky. He gave her a devilish grin before quipping, "Ain't seen y' all day, where y' been hiding? The kitchen?" Which earned a laugh from the little group, apart from Finn who just lagged behind; head down. Rae inwardly exhaled, trying not to bite back or burst into tears. Jason then scoffed a laugh, "This isn't like y', Rae. More quiet than usual", She then mumbled, "Please, just-" Jason cut her off by snapping in a mock tone, "Wha'?" He tossed a smirk to the gang, she then quivered, "Please, just leave me alone", Her voice wavered and it caused her stomach to twist, making her feel pathetic. Jason then burst out laughing, his grip tight on her shoulder, "'ear this lads!? Scrubber over 'ere wants us to leave 'er alone!" The lads joined in with the laughter but came to an abrupt halt as Finn piped up, "'ere c'mon, leave 'er now", They all paused and turned to Finn - Rae's face lit up at Finn's intervention. Jason frowned, "Wha'?" Finn glanced between everyone before landing his gaze back on Jason and continuing, "Just leave 'er, she's only a fat minger", He smirked wickedly, causing all of Rae's hopes to collapse. She grew pale and felt faint, her mind not quite connected with her body as the boys all shoved past her, snarking her and leaving her be. That's all it took. Those eight words were the blow that got her, knocking her down like a gust of wind blitzing down a house of cards. She knew Finn had a nasty streak and she knew he was going through a hard time, but she never thought he'd give such a nasty blow - the blow that caused her mental downfall. That, her GCSEs, her loneliness and her own thoughts piled up until it became so much that she crumbled, crumbled until she was nothing but a pile of dust. That following night Rae burnt herself in the shower for the first time, so bad that she scarred her back - this being one of the harmful techniques she used on herself in the future... Finn didn't apologise for what he said, instead he turned up on her doorstep that evening with tears down his face and fright in his eyes - it was the night his mum was rushed into hospital for the first time and Finn had only found out when he had gotten home from school. Finn's mum passed around a year or so ago, due to a brain hemmorage, the first time round was just a fit but the second time round; she didn't make it through. Finn never apologised for what he said to Rae, he still hadn't to this day._

It was around three AM when Rae trailed downstairs for a cup of tea, she flicked the kettle on and grew lost in thought once more. She couldn't help but wonder what Finn was doing right now... Probably with Chloe. Rae had to admit, she felt jealous. Jealous. Jealous. And more jealous - just like when Finn and Chloe had first started seeing each other. Now, before Chloe announced her and Finn in the cafe over two years ago; Rae discovered that Chloe and Finn had secretly been shagging for over a year - something that shocked everybody as Chloe and Finn always appeared as if they hated each other.

"Penny for y' thoughts?" Spoke Linda as she made two teas, Rae jumped slightly; so lost in thought she hadn't heard Linda come down. Rae exhaled as she spoke, "I'm fed up", "Of?" Linda asked as she squished a tea bag against the rim of the mug before chucking it into the bin and attending to the other tea, Rae shook her head before shrugging, "Everythin'", Linda chucked the other tea bag in the bin and poured a drop of milk in each mug before stirring them and asking, "Care t' share?" Rae thought about it for a moment before continuing, "I just... Basically a friend of mine-" "Do I know this friend?" Linda asked, cutting Rae off as she handed over a mug of tea to Rae. Rae took the mug before huffing, "Beside the point", "Sorry, carry on", Linda quipped before swigging her tea. Rae then continued, "My friend fancies her best friend's boyfriend and like the boy and my friend have been like mates well before her mate and the boy got together and well like they're sleepin' together in secret and like she just doesn't know wha' t' do and she knows it's wrong but her other friend treats 'er like shit all the time and she just doesn't know what to do".

Linda thought it over, letting the information sink in and taking another sip of tea. A long pause passed before Linda then spoke, "Well, 'ow long 'ave y' mate's boyfriend and 'er mate been together", Rae shrugged, "'Bout two years", "An' d' they love each other?" Rae nodded, blowing her tea before taking a sip. Linda thought it over before asking, "An' does y' friend, y'know, love the boy?" Rae sighed, "Tha's the thing, she doesn't know. They've been best friends since they were kids and she's scared in case he doesn't love 'er back", "Does he fancy or love y' mate?" "I know he fancies 'er as he got with her mate just t' make 'er jealous as he told 'er" Linda nodded slowly, "Right, ok", She sighed as she set her mug of tea down on the kitchen unit before turning back to Rae, folding her arms and leaning back against the counter, "Now, y' need t' listen t' me Rae and y' t' listen t' me carefully y' friend is walkin' on a very fine line 'ere an' although it may seem fun and games now someone will get 'urt and trust me, it's not worth losing both of 'er friends over", Rae then stared ahead, thinking aloud, "But wha' if she does love 'im and he loves 'er? Like, wha' if they're so perfect for each other and should be together?" Linda thought about it before looking at Rae and Rae looked at her as Linda asked, "If tha's so then why are y' still 'ere?"

A poem Rae once wrote in a therapy session in the hospital sprang to mind as she returned to bed that night;

_I am probably the most messed up girl you will ever meet._

_If you call me beautiful, _

_I will refuse to believe you; _

_unless you give me good reason otherwise._

_If you call me ugly, it will imprint on my skin _

_and I will never forget it for as long __as I live._

_If you try to help me I will push you away, _

_maybe even cry until you give up on me _

_and the moment you give up on me I will give you a hard time about it; _

_until you regret knowing me._

_But I promise if you stay, _

_if you fall deeply in love with me; I will love you_

_eternally. _


	23. Chapter 23

Of a Sunday, Izzy always stayed over in her actual home - her and Chop not actually living together. It was a chance for the couple to get the space they needed. But even though they had just been on a camping trip together, the pair decided to both sleep over at Izzy's - the news of the pregnancy caused Chop and Izzy to spend more time together than usual.

There was a saying that if you couldn't sleep, then you were awake in somebody else's dream - Izzy hoped that was the case for her. It was 00:31 and Izzy couldn't sleep, despite having to be up for eight. As she laid in bed and the only sources of noise to be heard were Chop's heavy breathing and the ticks of her bedside clock. She thought the weekend over and the recent events... She ran her fingers over the thin material of her vest top and rested them upon her stomach, she could swear she could feel it's heartbeat... But she knew she was just over tired and her imagination was playing tricks. She knew it was going to be a challenge, a huge one but it was going to be worth it. Evidentally, she and Chop were terrified and they had spent the weekend arguing over it. But they both knew for a fact that once reality set in, eg. Arguing over what colour to paint the baby's room, buying the clothes, seeing it properly for the first time on the second scan, it's first tooth, first words, steps... Obviously there was the late nights, the crying, etc. But what was that compared to raising a child and being a proper family? It was nothing and if they could overcome what they had, then they could do this. They may have been young but they were going to take this head on, they were going to do this their way...

Even if they had to do it on their own.

Izzy decided to slide of bed and creep out of her room; knowing it was easy as Chop was a heavy sleeper. Izzy went to walk downstairs, when she noticed the room to her dad's study was open and the low glow from the lamp on his desk drew her in; like a moth to a flame. Izzy made her way over to the study door and popped her head in; to see her dad's office chair with it's back to her - the top of her dad's brown mop of hair peaking over the leather back of the chair. She cautiously made her way in and stood at the door, before croaking, "Dad?" He turned in his chair and smiled at her, "Alright, kidda?" She nodded before saying, "Yeh, just can't sleep", He sighed before opening his arms, in which she took no hesitation and made her way over; climbing into his lap and snuggling into his embrace. Her new found height a sudden slight difficulty compared to when she was ten and was no taller than 4' 5".

"How was work?" She asked whilst playing with a button on his shirt, "Alright, borin'", "Nothing new there then", She sarcastically spoke, which earned a small snort of laughter from her dad. It then grew silent before then Izzy decided she needed to tell him, she knew could trust him. It was her dad, her best friend; the one who let her get away with anything. He wouldn't judge her, he would simply shrug it off with a crap joke and be forgotten about...

Would it?

Yes, of course it would. Her dad wasn't judgemental like her mother, he'd be a hypocrite if he had a go at her as he was a dad at 19. "Dad, I'm pregnant", She felt him tense and heard him suck in a breath. Her blood turned cold as she waited a response, which was not what she expected, "Wha... 'ow far gone?" He croaked, unable to properly speak. She began picking at the skin around her nails, "Just over a month", She heard him gulp, the vibrations rumbled against her ear as her head laid upon his chest.

"Go to bed, Izzy", He hadn't called her Izzy or even Isabelle since she was 12, it was always kidda. Always. "Dad I-" "Go to bed, Izzy", He snapped. Feeling the tears already working their way to her tear ducts, she simply stood up and left the room for her bedroom; her head down the entire way. She quietly slid into the covers, Chop was still dead asleep. Izzy clutched the covers tightly to her chest, as if it were a teddy bear, before she held back a sob. She now realised that even her dad, her best friend, wasn't on her side for this. She had never felt so alone, so... Hurt.

A thought then crossed her mind, what exactly was she expecting her dad to react? The whole 'crap joke' Scenario? The whole 'You've told me, let's have a cup of tea and act as if nothing's wrong' Fantasy? She needed to stop being so ridiculous. Obviously her dad was going to be cold about it, well he hadn't expect it. How was he supposed to react to it, other than in a cold way? He was just as helpless and as clueless as her.

That was one thing Izzy had learnt as she grew up, that adults knew as much as her about life and didn't have a fucking clue - they were just older and wore a tie.

Rae woke to the sound of Linda gently saying "Rae... Rae, it's seven o'clock", Rae woke slowly before the guilty feeling sunk in, there was a pause before Linda softly spoke, "I'll ring in and tell them y' sick", Before leaving. Rae still didn't move or blink, just stared. It were days such as then that her illness got the better of her, made her bed ridden. It were days where she simply wanted to lay in bed, although it may have seem like a bad idea to sum as you could think everything over and it make you more ill than before - but for Rae, it was her only way to feeling better. Not even Kester could help Rae when she was like this, all she would do on days like this was simply lay still, stare before turning over and drifting off into a sleep. Rae felt lonely but her loneliness was soon numbed by the feeling of emptiness and the more she laid in bed, the more she felt content. Linda left her be, sure, it was horrible to see Rae so defeat... But from her own personal experience, Linda knew that leaving Rae be was the only cure. Sure, Rae may have felt awful now but tomorrow would be better, tomorrow would be a fresh start.

But the good feeling tomorrow was supposed to bring never came.

It was around four in the evening and the sun was long gone, Rae finally got out of bed for some toast and a cup of tea - walking through the house to see it empty of Linda or Karim. As Rae stood in her 'tube of toothpaste' Dressing gown and waited for the kettle to boil, she heard a knock on the back door. She frowned before making her way over and opening the frosted-glass door to reveal Archie, he wore his maroon bomber jacket, a thick scarf, jeans and trainers - all snug and smiles.

Only now had Rae realised it was snowing as it came down light but enough to stick on Archie's shoulders and wisps of hair, resemembling a bad case of dandruff. He greeted her with a smile, "Alright?" She asked, curious, "Wha's up?" He shrugged, "Just thought I'd come see 'ow y' are and was wonderin' if y' fancied comin' the pub for an hour", She sighed, folding her arms, "Who's goin'?" He angled his eyebrows in multiple positions as he thought about it before saying, "Me, obviously, Chop, Izzy, I think Johnny and Al", She then frowned, "Wha' about Chloe and Finn?" The couple's names enough to make her feel a sudden anger. Archie shrugged, "Dunno, Chop didn't mention 'em in lesson today so... Speakin' of which, 'ow come y' weren't in?"

The 'Truth or Lie?' Meter flashed in Rae's mind, the arrow stuck in between; deciding with to sugar-coat a truth, "Didn't feel well, think am gettin' the flu", Archie sucked in a breath, sympathy on his smile, "Ooh, fuckin' 'ell. Well, why don't y' come out and get some fresh air? Am sure y'll feel better", "I dunno, Arch I-" "Oh, c'mooon, Rae! It'll only be for an hour", He pleaded. She huffed, suddenly feeling cornered, "Maybe some other time, I'm just not in the mood", Archie scanned her face, frowning, "Are y' sure y' feelin' alright?" "I'm fine", She snapped, in which he went to argue back but she cut him off, "Look, I've gotta go but I'll ring y' after yeh?" He just about managed to say her name before she slammed the door in his face.

He called out, his voice slightly muffled, "Rae! C'mon, talk t' me!" She exhaled, eyes widening as her thoughts began to race and her heart pounded within her chest; her behaviour not normal. A moment passed before Archie called out, once more, "C'mon, Rae, open the door! Look, I will wait out 'ere all night if I 'ave t'!" She stayed silent and still. She didn't know what made her snap but it consumed her, until it felt suffocating and caused her to react out of panic.

She then snapped out of thoughts when she heard it, his knocks. She turned and saw he was no longer visible, in which she realised he was sitting on the step; outside the door. She then huffed before swinging the back door open, Archie almost fell backwards and onto her feet. She then stepped out, mumbling a 'move over' Before she lowered herself down besides Archie on the step. He sat upright and gave her a look before knocking his knee against her's, "So, y' gonna tell me wha's wrong?" She sighed, chewing the inside of her cheek before blurting, "Am fed up", He frowned, took a moment before asking, "Y' fed up? Of wha'?" A bemused smile bestowed upon his face. She then pouted, "Everythin'", He then mocked, "Everythin'?" She gave him a look before smacking his knee, "Stop repeating me!" They shared a look before they fell to bits laughing.

After calming down, Rae then rested her head on his shoulder. He then asked, "Y' wanna talk about it?" She took a moment before saying, "Y'know wha', Archers? Think I will come for tha' drink".

The snow grew lighter but was still coming down, coating the streets of Stamford in a soft blanket of white. Rae and Archie linked arms as they walked to the pub, all snug. Rae had to admit, the laughter she and Archie shared along with the fresh feeling from the cold winds of the snow; Rae felt a lot lighter and more happy than earlier. Her and Archie shared light chatter as they walked to the pub, as they reached the beer garden; they noticed Finn sat at one of the wooden tables, on one of the benches and looking deep in thought.

"Alright, Finn?" Archie said as he and Rae unhooked their arms from one another as they approached Finn. Finn snapped out of his hard and pensive thought, his dark thoughts growing smaller in his eyes. Finn gave them a big smile, exhaling some of his rollie as he gave a nod and beamed, "Alright, lads!" The three shared a smile, Archie then piped up, "Am going inside as me balls are frozen, y' comin' Rae?" Rae slowly pulled her stare away from Finn's, just to look at Archie for a moment, "Errr, I'll be in, in a sec", Archie then smirked, "Alright, don't do anythin' I wouldn't do",

Well, he couldn't have said anything more spot on; could he...

Rae playfully smacked his arse as he went to walk off, earning a laugh from both Finn and Archie. As soon as Archie was inside, Rae joined Finn at the wooden table. She then asked, playful, "So, wha' y' doin' out 'ere? Last time I checked, y' can't stand the cold", He shrugged, "Yeh but when Chloe begins talking make up bollocks, the snow suddenly seems interestin'", In which the pair shared a small laugh. There was a pause before Finn exhaled his smoke and spoke, "Listen, Chlo's not round tomorrow and I've got this new album I wanna show y'... So", He took a moment to flick his smoke away before continuing, "Come round for about five?" She cocked an eyebrow, "An' if I don't?" He searched her face, trying to work her out. He smile gave her a smirk before quipping, "See y' for five tomorrow", He then rose to his feet, a new found smugness displayed upon his demeanour as he walked off into the pub.

Rae scoffed, rolling her eyes but couldn't stop the smile from springing upon her lips - suddenly feeling like a fourteen year old again.


	24. Chapter 24 - Johnny's

Johnathon 'Johnny' Peter Aindow, was a very handsome, 19 year old lad - born and raised in Stamford. Johnny, like the other lads, was a brunette. He was a rugged kind of handsome, sharp jaw with a hint of youth around the cheeks. Unlike the other lads, Johnny had long hair - not rapunzel long - Think a young Noel Ghallagher. But Johnny was far better looking than Noel. Tanned skin, golden brown iris' and a well-looked after smile. Johnny was an easy going lad, far from deprived and was every parents wet dream; good grades, top in his class in college, well mannered, worked and was handsome. Johnny was also a cheeky but bright boy, ever since he could speak. He had a good sense of humor and always knew the right thing to say, apart from when he was four and developed a God-awful stutter. Even the most simplest of words would be a challenge, which damaged his self-confidence a great amount through primary; up until his first year of High School where his mum took him to a speech therapist. Standing at 5ft11, he was a bit on the lanky-side but had just that right amount of muscle that made him appear filled-out,

Unlike most men his age, Johnny was a proud mummy's boy. He loved his mum, more than his rat of a dad who left him and his mum when she was pregnant with Johnny's younger sister Nina for his mum's friend when Johnny had not long turned thirteen. Johnny loved and would defend his little family more than most people ever would with their own. He currently juggled two jobs in a coffee shop and a cafe in which he worked as a barista, bus-boy and a waiter all whilst taking a part-time pyschology course at college. He didn't mind balancing so much as it kept him occupied and out of the house, as Johnny could be a right pest when he got bored. Now as it were written, Johnny was far from deprived as his mum owned both a quite successful flower shop and a cafe (That cafe being the one Johnny worked in, if you hadn't guessed) but Johnny liked the idea of carrying his own and having his own money - instead of bumming off his mum; like most of his friends.

His mother, Janet, a raved-haired, slender beauty, was very proud of her bright and caring son. But there was a lot more to Johnny than she were aware of - both in a good and bad manner. Now, Johnny may have been very respectful to his mum, sister and older women, but with girls and lads his age was a different story. Johnny wasn't a complete arsehole, but could never keep a girlfriend or boyfriend longer than two weeks - he just didn't see the point. No matter how nice the girl may have been or how beautiful, or how good in bed the guy was, Johnny would never stay. The word 'love' wasn't in his vocabulary. He just didn't need the hassle or the stress, he was young and had years to settle down - so why bother with it now. Whilst he was out and doing what he liked, his friends would often be at home; being bollocked by their girlfriends or stuck in because she didn't feel like going out and the next day Johnny's friends would apologise whilst looking tired and plain-old fed up. Some even had kids, which terrified him. In a way he felt sorry for his friends, but they got themselves into to it so the sympathy soon disappeared.

Oh and if you hadn't guessed, Johnny was very, very much bi-sexual.

Johnny woke the following morning due to the sounds of his 7 am alarm, hungover, worn out and – strangely – in his own bed. How he got home he didn't have a clue, and was dreading to find out. Johnny's room didn't match his personality, his room was hidden away in the loft of his house. It was like a den, the bed was a double and had two small steps leading up to it as it were higher up than the rest of the things within his room. His walls weren't exactly walls, but more like wood – a light oak. He had no carpet, all wooden floors – a single white rug placed upon the floor. The ceiling of the room was of a triangular shape, making you dip your head slightly as you climbed onto the bed. He didn't have a wardrobe, but drawers instead where his clothes were all tucked neatly away. His whole room was neat, bright, open and smelt of vanilla. He had one large, double glazed window that laid on a slant due to to the structor of the room, it laid right on top of the bed and was perfect when it rained or when it was a clear night – but horrific in sunny weather. Next to the large window, was a tiny half-moon shaped window that sat at the head of the bedroom that gave you a clear view of the street below. On one side of the bed sat a little table where eight books were slotted neatly away, a powder blue and white lamp sat and his alarm clock.

Johnny liked his room, he liked often watching the rain – because that's all it ever did in Stamford. Johnny sighed and rolled over, switching off his alarm before taking a moment. He wasn't that hungover this morning, just felt a bit car-sick and tired. No headache, he luckily never got those. But to be fairly honest, he'd take a headache – even a migraine – over feeling sick. The feeling of having constant motion sickness whenever he moved was an absolute killer, especially considering he had a four hour shift today.

Time to get a redbull and fry up on the go, good job he wasn't due in till ten and the little cafe he worked in and his mum owned was a half an hour walk away. Johnny then groaned as he sat up, "I am never drinkin' again", he croaked before he then climbed out of bed, whacking his head on the ceiling – every. Fucking. Morning.

As he rubbed his – soon to be – bruised scalp, he gave his balls a good scratch and let out a yawn as he sleepily made his way out the loft and down the two lots of stairs.

Johnny noticed how the house was quietly empty as he walked through it, making his way to the kitchen. He then noted the note pinned to the fridge and read out loud, "J, Nina stayed in nan's last night and I've had to go into London early to sort out some business. Have a lovely day at the caf' and I'll be home before you are. Love mum", He then scrunched the note and tossed it in the bin, then poured himself a glass of water and stared out the back window at the frost-covered garden. Johnny snapped himself out of his stare, decided to get himself together and whack on the bacon. Ooh did he love a bit of bacon.

Once breakfast was cooked, Johnny sat at the table and took no hesitation into smoothering his fry up in red sauce. He took a quick swig of coffee and began to ravish his food, as Johnny was chewing on some toast – he noticed how lonely the table looked. Usually, it was occupied by him, Nina and his mum. It was the first morning he'd spent alone in two years. He never spent mornings alone, either it'd be with a friend/s or with family – never alone.

Now, Johnny liked being alone. He liked the space and took pleasure in being alone, but there was something about the warmth of a person that you couldn't replace sometimes. Which is why he finished breakfast quicker than usual, cleared up, scampered upstairs and jumped in the shower. He hoped that this lonely feeling would leave and soon.

Rae burried her face into the warmth of her snood and jumper, protecting her chin, mouth and half of her nose in wool against the nippy December mornings. Rae was grateful that it wasn't raining nor windy and was happy to put up with the fact it was just cold, sunny but cold. After speaking with Finn last night, a sudden spring in her step appeared this morning and she had a sudden urge to jump onto a train to Scotland. She always had these little highs, but they never lasted. So, she just tried to keep her energy to herself and not hug the nearest stranger – that wouldn't be good.

As Rae did two courses, this including Drama; Rae finished two days after the rest of the gang. Rae strode into college, all smiles which contrasted brightly with the tired frowns of the students. She wandered through to the canteen and over to her regular table of a morning, where her drama gang and Finn all sat. Rae took to her regular place next to Finn, and catched up on conversation with everyone, fitting in. Finn also took two courses, this included English Lit. Which meant Finn's last day was today.

There was something different, nothing romantic or deep. Just something little, but noticeable. It were as if Rae's invisible barrier was taken away and she were completely naked and exposed before him. It were as if a whole new her now existed, and instead of hiding from him – she proudly displayed herself to him.

And he couldn't have been more happy.

Two mornings after seeing Brogan for the first time in forever, Johnny felt himself thinking about her randomly throughout the day - very strange. In a sense she was very different just as much as she was the same as any other he had fancied. She was a lot more intelligent and witty than the others, the other girls he had ever slept with were easy - but Brogan was deeper than that and worth more. Yes, she was rather attractive - in the way that was underrated and over-looked - but it were her words and the way her mind worked is what made her different. She wasn't someone Johnny would find himself wanting to sleep with, but to have as a friend - to have and keep in his life.

As small as Stamford was, it was just as big. Johnny felt slightly upset at the thought of possibly never seeing Brogan again, but it wasn't the end of the world and she was still living and breathing - and that was what kept him going. As it were said that Stamford was big as it were small, the chances of running into someone you knew were high if you both lived in the area - hence why it were no surprised Johnny saw Brogan that morning. Fate worked in very strange and very funny ways, he knew and grew accustomed to that very well.

The cafe was small and had the theme of old-fashioned, white and French. It was absolutely beautiful, private but open. It was the kind of place that people called a "Hidden gem" It was lovely. Stylish and not tacky, not too white but that perfect contrast. A place where break-ups, make-ups, gossip, reunions and such were held. Many secrets were hidden within the four walls of the cafe. It was something you could only dream of, or see in a place called Georgetown, Washington.

Johnny was cleaning a table when the familiar ding of the bell rang out throughout the cafe, signalling a customer had entered. Johnny had his back turned but didn't bother turning as Izzy worked on the counter of a Tuesday. "Hi, could I get a pumpkin spice latte please?" Johnny felt as if his heart were about to drop out of his arse as her familiar tone rang through his ears. Out of all the cafes, she chose this one. She chose his cafe. The odds of that were almost impossible, but it happened and she were here.

Johnny took a deep breath, shook his head and wiped down the table. "Johnny," Shit. He shut his eyes before turning and nodding at Izzy, quickly glancing at Brogan; who was fortunately putting her purse back into her bag and didn't notice Johnny; he nervously tossed the dish cloth between his hands. Izzy broke his racing thoughts "Tommy wants y'", He then nodded an ok, collecting the tray of dirty mugs, plates and cutlery before scuttering into the back and out of eye-sight.

Brogan had saw him. She saw him as soon as she walked through the door, but he was probably too busy to chat; so she wasn't really that bothered and brushed it off. As she took place at an empty table in the far left of the cafe, by a window, she sat down and took out a copy of Clockwork Orange - Brogan was never one for light reading.

As the day passed, Brogan never saw Johnny again as he hid in the back - he just didn't know what to say. What was he supposed to say if he actually did speak to her? "Hi, remember me? The guy who practically stalked you for over a year?" Yeah, because that would go down perfectly well... To be honest, Johnny had never had a person who he had fancied before come into his cafe. Never. So, why Brogan? He knew she was different. He knew she was somebody that was going to be around for a while and that if he didn't speak to her soon, she'd pop up randomly. Today was a sign, a sign of something that was yet to be good or bad – he dreaded to find out which.

One pumpkin spice latte and three chapters later, Brogan collected her stuff together, adjusted her burgundy bobble hat beanie; and left - bracing the bitter December winds. Johnny was relieved when he came out to see an empty chair and mug. He cleaned the table and got on with the remainder of his day.

Before he knew it, it was closing time at the cafe and he never saw Brogan for the rest of the day.

But fate wasn't finished, and nor was it happy.


	25. Chapter 25

"D'y' ever think about the future?" Finn asked as he watched Rae's hair slip through his fingers, her dark locks reminded him of the drink; Dandelion and Burdock - the drink of his childhood. Rae and Finn were all wrapped up in bed, limbs sweaty and tangled - three guesses into what they'd be doing a mere ten minutes ago. Rae looked up from the crook of his neck with a frown, "Y' wha'?" It was his turn to frown, his forehead and expression loosened as he shook his head; as if he were not meant to ask out loud and it was more of a thought, "Nowt, don't matter".

Now she was interested, she then turned onto her stomach; resting on her elbows as she looked at him - intrigued into what he was going to say next. He cocked an eyebrow, lifting his head to get a better look at her, "Wha'?" She half smiled, her eyes twinkling with cheekiness, "Tell me", He shook his head, "Forget it, Rae. It's nowt", She pouted, "Please", In which he replicated her pout as he sat up, placing hands on either side of her face before quipping, "No", He then threw the covers off himself, swung his legs round before scrambling the floor for his boxers. He threw them on and stood up before moving round to his bedroom door, he paused and turned to Rae - who was now sat up, covers tucked under arms and her hair flying in all kinds of directions. He then ran a hand over his face, letting out a groan to wake him up. He then raised his arms and rested them on the metal bar that he set up one Christmas ago, to use to do chin ups now and to get in shape for the new year... It was used twice.

He raised his eyebrows at Rae, an innocent and relaxed look upon his face as he asked, "Y' comin'?" Rae couldn't help but compare the look to one he once pulled when he asked her whether she was having a beer that one time she came round with Chloe, all that time ago... She drank Finn in, his hair all toussled and tiredness upon his features... Rae felt the wind being knocked out of her, he may have been Chloe's but he was still partly Rae's - and she had never felt so... Sexy? If that was the right word. He then rolled his eyes, playful, "Rae, wha' 'ave I said 'bout staring..." She snapped out of it before clicking on to what he said and scoffing, swinging her legs round before scrambling for her PJ bottoms, "Y' love it when I stare", He looked to the ground as he let out a shy laugh, he then looked up as she approached him, she then half smirked, "C'mon, food is callin'", She then playfully smacked his arse before walking off. He then bit his lip as he tried to hold back a grin, happiness bursting in his chest. He then banged a rythm against the bar before turning and following Rae; food the sudden occupant of his mind.

It was getting to just past eight, darkness coated the streets of Stamford and the only source of light within the living room was the light coming from the tv. Finn was now wearing his old and worn Avengers top and some flannel PJ pants, the heating in the house not enough warmth to let Finn walk around in just boxers. Finn and Rae were sat on the couch, stuffed and chilled out - watching an episode of Eastenders; Rae's request, of course. A frown was tossed between the pair as the buzzer went, Finn then mumbled a 'I'll get it' As he rose from the couch and made his way through the flat. Rae didn't think twice as she resettled back into the couch, her gaze back onto the TV. Now, after having sex you'd think Rae would leave and Finn would go back to whatever he was doing - but Rae and Finn didn't work like that. Finn and Rae both agreed they didn't want to lose the friendship, so, they made sure to spend time together after it and not lose what they had before.

A good few minutes passed before Finn returned, Johnny trailing behind him - the pair in mid conversation. Rae then looked over, worry setting in as she took in their expressions - both confusion and worry upon their faces. Rae then sat up, asking, "Wha's up?" Causing both lads to stop and look at Rae, their features so uncanny... Rae could swear they were related. In fact, when Rae first met Johnny; she thought they _were _related.

Johnny exhaled before looking at Rae and saying, "I think I'm in love", She took a moment, before she asked, "Tha's it?" He nodded, as if to say, 'Yeah, obviously' In which she shook her head and chucked a couch pillow at him, he put his arms up to shield himself before booming, "Wha'!?"

Johnny explained the situation to Rae, not mentioning Archie's name - not realising Finn and Rae already knew. Johnny simply explained in short but full detail of the situation, in which Finn and Rae offered their usual advice - which always turned out to be spot on. Although Rae and Finn were hopeless with their own situations, they were always good with other people's problems; they never knew why, they just were. Once everything was solved, Johnny decided the three needed a spliff.

High and happy, Finn laid on his couch, Johnny sat on the floor and up against the armchair where Rae sat. Finn had popped in season one of 'FRIENDS' And his, Rae and Johnny's lazy laughter bounced off the walls. Finn then sleepily said, "Ay, did y' hear about tha' man who's in hospital after gettin' six plastic horses shoved up his arse?" Johnny, fully concerned, sharply looked at Finn, "No way! The poor man, is he alright?" Finn, lazily grinning, then said, "Yeh, apparently his condition is stable", Johnny and Rae stared at Finn for a moment, sharing a look before they realised and the three shared a roar of laughter.

Once their laughter died down, their attention turned back to the tv; where Matthew Perry had just told a ridiculous but, somewhat, amusing pun - which only Rae got and laughed at. Johnny, took a pull of his joint and exhaled as he croaked, "Wha' time is it?" Finn checked his watch, "Quarter to eight", Johnny let out a groan and passed his joint up to Rae, "Mate, I'm gonna have t' go", Finn giggled and looked at Johnny, "Wha'? Why?" Johnny, now on his feet, shrugged, "Gotta be home, but listen I'm working in the caf' tomorrow so come down and I'll make y' a scran".

"Alright, man I'll ring ya later", Finn said as he extended a hand, which Johnny slapped with his own palm; typical manly goodbye. Johnny then nodded a 'Goodbye' To Rae before departing. Finn leaned over and took the joint off Rae, he then nodded and said, "C'mere", In which she didn't think twice about, she slowly flung her legs off the couch and moved over. He sat up, crossing his legs to make room for Rae as the pair sat; face to face. He took a pull of the joint and blew a perfect smoke ring in her face, their eyes grew heavy and their pulses raced. He then moved in and hoovered his lips over her's, the closeness slowly killing Rae. He then smirked and lowly spoke, "Someone's eager", Before he pulled away and sunk back into the couch. Rae playfully glowered but couldn't stop the stupid, lazy grin that appeared upon her face.

Johnny threw up his hood and shrugged his hands in his hoody pockets as he left Finn's flat, Rae and Finn always gave the best advice - only when they were together though. Finn always gave too much manly advice on his own and Rae's was always too femanine, but together was the perfect balance. Times like this he wished he had one of them Nokia phones, he could then ring up Archie and ask if he could come round... But instead, he had to actually go round and see how things panned out.

Johnny gave two knocks on Archie's door, nerves slowly setting in before they fully hit and regret soon took place. Johnny could swear all of his organs were about to be thrown up as the door swung open to reveal Brogan, he frowned with confusion before stuttering; his words tripping over each other, "Bro... Brogan? Wh-wha' y' doin' 'ere?" She went to reply when Archie appeared, "Johnny? Wha'...?" "I-I came t' see y' but y've got company, so I'll just go", He went to walk off when Archie called out, "Wait! Listen, my uncle's taken my nan out t' see a friend. So, I've got a free house for a couple of hours and y' can join us, if y' want".

Johnny then looked between Brogan and Archie;

1. Why was Brogan there in the first place?

2. How was he going to get Archie alone for longer than five minutes without Brogan suspecting something?

and 3. How was he going to get away with the fact he was completely stoned?

Brogan was Archie's cousin.

You read right: Cousins. But what confused Johnny is why didn't Archie say something when they were in the que at the funfair, turns out they had saw each other at one of the port-a-loos earlier that day and didn't feel the need to say another hello - how wonderful (That was sarcasm, if you didn't notice.)

The three sat in silence for a good twenty minutes before Brogan then clapped her hands together and rose to her feet, "Right, am goin' t' make a cuppa. Anyone want one?" Both of the boys nodded, in which Brogan then awkwardly rose to her feet and left for the kitchen; unsure why there was such tension between the three. A moment or two passed before Johnny then broke the silence, "So, y'-" "Wha' the fuck, Johnny?" Archie snapped, causing Johnny to pause before shifiting slightly and speaking in hushed tones, "Look, Arch. I've come round t'... God, 'ow do I say this... Look, I'm just gonna come out with it, tha' night when we... When we, y'know... Well, just know tha' it was just a one night thing", Archie scoffed, "And sayin' I love y', were tha' just a one night thing?" Johnny sighed, "Archie, y'know I said it cause I were dr-" "Drunk? Yeh, I got that", Archie snapped. The boys grew into a tense silence, sharing a glare.

The silence was broken by Brogan entering and asking, "Johnny, d'ya take sugar?" Johnny broke the eye contact between him and Archie as he rose to his feet, "Urm, no ta as I've gotta go. Mum's expecting me 'ome, s'y' later yeh?" Before she could reply, he quickly left the living room - Archie's burning stare following him. Just as Johnny went to leave Brogan followed him and called out, "Wait!" He paused, halfway out the door and turned to her. A shy smile appeared upon her lips as she nervously asked, "Listen, I were just wonderin' if y' were doin' anything tomorrow", He scratched his nose with his thumb in thought before replying, "Yeh, got work till six then nowt. Why?" "Just wonderin' if y' would like t' come for a drink? I mean, y' probably will be there anyway but just thought I'd invite y' cause Archie invited me and I didn't know whether y' comin' and... Am rambling, aren't I?" He scoffed a laugh before quipping, "I'll be there", With that and a shy smile, the pair departed.

On one side of the door, happiness.

And the other, sadness and anger.

As it were said that Stamford was such a small town, it wasn't shocking that most of the town was related to each other - one way or another. So, it wasn't that much of a surprise to Johnny that Brogan and Archie were related; leaving Johnny to ponder on the thought of whether Finn was on the side of relation that Brogan was on - and if Finn knew. Speaking of Finn, Johnny knew Finn and Rae were up to something... He couldn't pin point what, but there was something different. As Johnny walked home, he wondered that maybe Rae and Finn were sleeping together... Which Johnny let out an inward laugh, course they weren't - the pair were shit at keeping secrets and would let it slip after the first blow job.

Johnny entered his home to be greeted by warmth and the smell of Christmas - The smell of Cinnamon and Vanilla. He entered the hallway and slipped off his hood and shoes. He made his way through to see his little sister, Nina, sat on the couch in her PJs and watching Lion King on video. He gave her a kiss on top of her head before asking, "Where's mum?" Nina then monotonously spoke as her gaze never left the telly, "Office", Johnny nodded before jumping over the back of the couch and planting himself down next to Nina, he then grew engrossed in the Lion King before asking Nina, "'ow were school?" Nina shrugged, "S'alright, borin' though", He nodded, taking it in, "Fair enough, got any 'omework?" She shook her head, he gave her look before playfully threatening, "Nina...", She then looked at him, "I 'aven't!" He rolled his eyes, "Alright, alright, I believe y'. Y' hungry?" She shook her head before returning her gaze back to the tv, as did Johnny - the pair's features more uncanny than Johnny and Finn's or Johnny and his dad's.

Johnny loved his little sister, more than his mum. He and Nina constantly fought and argued, but Johnny would destroy anything that would try to harm her. She was the most beautiful little thing he'd ever seen and all he wanted was to wrap her in bubble wrap, keep her safe... God help her when she would get a boyfriend.

Johnny let out a huff as he looked around the living room, the Lion King unable to hold his attention. He turned his stare to the stairs, his mum and the office suddenly calling for his attention.

Although Chop was prepared for a child - of sorts - he wasn't prepared for the wrath of Izzy's parents, well, more her mother. It had been exactly three hours since her mum had found out over dinner and Jean had completely flipped her lid, Izzy and Chop were currently sat on the couch - whilst Jean was screaming like a banshee in Travis' office and Travis was trying to calm her down.

Out of nowhere, Chop blurted, "Y'know we're gonna be alright, don't y'?" Izzy then looked at him, her eyes puffed and sore from all the crying, she then sniffed, "Y' wha'?" He spoke as he stared ahead, "Me and y', we're gonna be alright. I know it doesn't seem it now but, it will get better. And if y' mum and dad can't see tha' then fuck 'em, s'all 'bout y' and me now, kid. Well me, y' and the little one. I know it's gonna be 'ard and it's gonna be scary but we'll do it, I promise", He then draped an arm around her and pulled her in, kissing the top of her head in which her head then fell into the crook of his neck. She then wiped away a stray tear before she sniffed, "I love y'", He gave a soft smile, "I love y' too".

The two's heads whipped to the direction of the living room door as they heard the doorbell, Izzy then rose to her feet and began wiping her tears as she mumbled, "I'll get it", Clearing her throat and trying to appear normal. She swung open the door and felt her heart stop, before heaving as it kick started once more as she drank the person in - it was her sister Tash. Well, an older Tash. Tash who's hair was blonder, eyes were bluer, skin was tanner and her style was more proper. She turned and gave Izzy a small smile, she went to speak when she was cut off by Jean roaring over something. Tash scoffed a laugh before quipping, "Well, I'm definitely back".


	26. Chapter 26 - Happy New Year!

Rae and Finn had been secretly seeing each for exactly twelve days, well if you wanted to be exact then thirteen... When it reached the nine day mark, Finn itched to ask whether she still wanted to continue this... This thing - and by the look in her eyes, she was more than happy to. It was officially New Year's Eve and they were entering the year of 1999 - the year of weird fashion, David Beckham, Smash Hits, SMTV Live and one year off the new millenium.

The gang had decided not to go mad on the whole NYE's front, so, a few in the pub was the perfect idea - the gang swore they spent their lives in the pub. Although Izzy was only growing to three months, her bump was quite apparent - small and perfectly round but easy to hide with an oversized blouse. Of course Chloe went all out, her long legs out and her hair perfectly styled down to a T. All for Finn, who was quite bored of it as her look was growing stale to him - her beauty nothing knew and expected. Now, with Rae... That was a different ball park. Rae had went for a different look tonight, she wore a lovely cream blouse that had such minimal detail - it was perfect - black jeans and black flats. Her was left natural, a wave with enough bounce and shine to look just right. Considering it was New Year's Eve and such a big event, Rae let Izzy do her make up - Smokey eyes and a nude lipgloss. Safe to say Rae looked beautiful and she actually felt it, ever since her and Finn's little liasions had begun - Rae had never felt more comfortable in her skin. The thrill of being caught and sneaking around made her feel sexy, alive... Like a proper woman - even her relationship with Al was better. Ironically. Tonight, even the lads made an effort. Chop, Archie and Finn wore what they wore for Linda's wedding reception two and a half years back, Chop wore his baby blue Ben Sherman shirt, Archie grey and Finn went with his white shirt and skinny black tie. Al wore a shirt similar to Chop's and Johnny wore a navy blue shirt, all of their outfits paired with jeans and shiny black dress shoes.

Tonight, the gang expanded and let Karim, Linda and Brogan join them. Obviously Linda and Karim didn't stick with them, but more with the neighbours and locals - leaving Rae be. Small touches and shy glances were passed between Brogan and Johnny, along with awkward small talk. Johnny had to admit, although Archie was looking extremely handsome; Brogan looked stunning - with an LBD (Little Black Dress) And red lips. The gang, all excluding Izzy, were far past tipsy - words slurred and eyes glazed. The atmosphere was alive and merry, alcohol and it almost midnight made the world come together. It was getting to eight minutes to midnight when Rae sat down with Izzy on the long couch-like bench at the gang's table, the others all up dancing/at the bar. Chop being Chop had his arms around Johnny and Chloe as the three drunkenly sung along 'Fairytale of New York'. Finn being Finn just watched from the bar with Brogan with amusement as he atempted to order a Carlsberg, Al and Archie danced around, singing in each other's faces in slurred tones.

Rae then slurred to Izzy, her tone loud as she tried to speak over the roaring conversation and music within the pub - people on edge as it was approaching midnight, "Mad 'ow much can change ain't it? Like, y' and Chop with the baby, Chloe and Finn gettin' back together, me and Al are 'appy, Johnny's sorta wi' Brogan and I dunno...", Izzy and Rae then watched the gang as Rae spoke about each indivdual, "It's just mad t' think tha' like next year, y'll 'ave a baby, Johnny could be wi' Brogan or even someone else and I just... I dunno I mean Archie and Johnny are going to Uni after this college year, Finn's got a new job on the way as 'as Chloe and Chop's thinkin' 'bout goin' t' Uni as well. Just weird t' think wha' could 'appen, like who knows maybe even me and Finn could get together", Izzy then sharply looked at Rae and frowned, "Y' wha'?" Rae went to cover her tracks when Al ran over, "C'mon! It's almost midnight!" He pulled Rae up and then Izzy before dragging them both into the middle of the dancefloor, where the whole pub landed their gaze onto the small tv that stood on a stand on the wall - a news reporter outside Big Ben where the crowds of London were filled and all coming to a stand still.

And the countdown began, the pub began from 20.

Izzy could swear the whole pub came to a stand still, in fact - the whole world did. In that moment, where everybody stood; counting down, everything bad in the world came to a pause also. In that moment, was pure happiness - no anger, no hate, just pure happiness. The whole world joined as each one as those seconds passed, Izzy glanced around the pub and watched as everyone counted down - almost as if time had slowed down. She then looked at the gang, who's eyes were glued to the tv. Finn pulled his gaze from the TV and landed it on Izzy, he gave her a soft smile - his proper smile. The smile that reassured Izzy, the moment he gave her that smile, put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head was the moment she knew everything was going to be alright. As the rest of the gang counted down, they all felt that bliss - all in perfect harmony of peace. If you asked any of them what their perfect moment of their lives was, it would be this.

The pub errupted into a chorous of "HAPPY NEW YEAR" Before cheers and whistles were heard, then that moment came - the new year's kiss. Of course Izzy and Chop shared their's, surprisingly Al and Archie went for it - pulling away with a manly "Ayyyy!"- Brogan shared a shy but meaningful one with Johnny and Chloe shared one with both Chop and Izzy before turning, she then froze - all blood drained from her face as she took in the sight before her. Rae and Finn had decided to be each other's new year's kiss. Chloe then looked to the floor, her jaw opening slightly as she couldn't find the words. She then shifted her gaze around before turning and excusing herself to step outside for some air.

Chloe wasn't so sure why she was so bothered, Rae and Finn had been friends for so long and as Chloe was sharing a friendly kiss with Chop and Izzy - it only seemed fitting as Rae and Finn were the only two left. But as Chloe sat outside and thought it over, she frowned; Rae and Finn were quite far apart and could've easily grabbed someone else. Chloe then sighed, rubbing her arms as she realised how stupid she was being - it was just a friendly kiss. That's all.

She was sat in the beer garden and on one of the benches, soaking in the fresh air - sobering up rapidly. She needed to sober up, otherwise she'd go in and rip Rae's hair out by her skull. Chloe knew it had to be approaching one, meaning she had been sitting out there for almost an hour - which it was no surprise when Rae came to look for her. Rae was still quite tipsy, but not as drunk as earlier. She made her way over and spoke, "Wha' y' doin' out 'ere?" Chloe didn't know why she did, but she snapped, "Nowt, why?" Rae frowned at Chloe's tone before rolling her eyes, only doing as Chloe had her back to her and couldn't see what she was doing, "No reason, y've just been out 'ere for a long time", Chloe then scoffed, biting back over her shoulder, "Oh, now y' care?" Rae then frowned, "S'tha' supposed t' mean?" Chloe sighed, turning back and shaking her head as her tone grew soft, "Nothin' just... Just forget it, Rae".

Rae's drunken state gave her a new found confidence, as it were shown as she pressed, "No, go on", Chloe pushed her tongue against her bottom lip before huffing and swinging her legs round as she looked at Rae as she quipped, "It's just am surprised y' even thought about me when y've got wha' y' wanted", Rae scoffed, "Wha' the fuck y' on about?" "I'm talkin' about y' stickin' y' fuckin' tongue down my boyfriend's throat", Rae paused, not sure whether she was hearing right. Rae pointed her finger at the pub, "Tha'", Before then flopping her hands down by her sides, "Were nothin', a friendly kiss. Dunno why y' moanin'", Chloe then saw red, she just couldn't keep it in, "But it's not just tha' Rae, it's every fuckin' thing. Everythin'! Y've took everythin' of mine, Rae", "Oh piss off, Chloe. Y' talkin' bollocks", Rae scoffed. Chloe then glowered, "I'm talkin' bollocks?" Rae nodded, "Yeh, y' are. Y' give me one fuckin' example tha' I've supposedly took", "Finn, alright. Y've took the only bit of happiness I've got left, alright!? I mean y'know when he looks at me, he doesn't look the same as when he looks at y', Rae. He looks at me like, like he's so bored of me and when he looks at y' it's just... He just loves y' so much Rae and I... It kills me tha' he won't ever look at me like tha'", Rae gave her a look in which Chloe continued, "Oh, don't look at me like tha'. Y'know exactly wha' I'm on about and y'know wha' Rae", Chloe rose to her feet before moving over to just a few feet away from Rae, "Y' 'ad y' chance with 'im and y-" Rae then butted in, "When the fuck 'ave I ever 'ad the chance wi' 'im!?" Chloe then snarled, "Y'know exactly when and y'know it was the sole reason why he went out with me, all to make _**you **_jealous and d'y' how much tha' hurts findin' tha' out on a night out together? D'you?! Oh no, wait, course y' don't cause I forgot, everythin' is perfect in Rae's world".

That caught Rae off guard, perfect? Was Chloe actually serious? Rae then bit back, "Perfect!? Y' think my life is perfect!?" Chloe then rolled her eyes, "Oh 'ere we fuckin' go, the whole 'mental illness' Speech. Y'know wha' save it, Rae. It's funny, y'know, the way y' think the world owes y' summat just cause y've been a bit ill. For all y'know I could be ill as well, I'm not sayin' I am but I could. Y' think y've got it so 'ard, Rae but d'y'know 'ow much I wanna be y'? D'y'know 'ow much I want y' life? Being skinny and pretty, yeh, tha's nice but it's nothin' when push comes t' shove. Y' can put bit on a bit o' make up, crack a joke and no one bats an eye lid as where I 'ave t' walk on hot coals for anyone to pay a blind bit of notice. I try so 'ard, I really do. I try to please people and try t' be so fuckin' perfect, all the bloody time. Nobody understands and I am sick t' death of people thinkin' I 'ave got such a perfect life, Rae. Y' 'ave everythin' I want, a mum who loves y', people who adore y' and y' 'ave Finn. I go 'ome every day to a dad who beats my mum until she's a walkin' bruise and who also can't get up without doin' a line of God knows wha', I 'ave been lookin' after t' my little sister for as long as I can remember. Just because I 'ave money, a nice 'ouse and I'm pretty means jackshit. So, don't go tellin' me 'ow 'ard y've got it, Rae when y've got no idea!"

Chloe's chest heaved up and down as her eyes flickered, trying to blink back the tears before she swallowed them. Rae then softened, "Chloe, I'm so sorry I-" Chloe then snapped, sniffing as she cut Rae off, "Don't, just leave it", Chloe then went to walk past, when she stopped right in front of Rae; causing Rae to suddenly become a bundle of nerves, "But y' listen t' me and y' listen t' me good, Rae. Y' with Johnny and I'm with Finn, no matter wha's 'appened and wha's been said, it's forgotten about. Johnny is your's and Finn is mine and tha's 'ow it's gonna stay", And with that, Chloe wandered back into the pub. Rae took a moment, before exhaling and then guilt set in; almost a wake up call - what was she doing? Chloe was right, Finn was her's and Johnny was Rae's. Rae couldn't kid herself any longer, tomorrow she was going to call it off with Finn when she went round...

Right after she had sex with him.

The following morning Rae woke up dazed and confused, the kind where it takes you a few seconds to realize where you are. She then slowly put a hand to her forehead and groaned as her hangover and regret set in, she could only remember last night in fragments; but enough to make her cringe. She remembered her argument with Chloe, getting more drunk, Chop inviting everyone round for shots, lying on the couch for two minutes and that's how she must've ended up here - on Chop's couch.

She then slowly sat up, wincing as her muscles were tender; mainly her back - which then made her remember her first missing the couch and hitting the wooden floor with a thud. She be could such an embarassment when she was drunk. She rubbed her face, waking herself up before she glanced around - not too much of a mess. A few moments passed before Al wandered in, wearing just a pair of Chop's PJ bottoms and holding two mugs of tea and one paracetemol. He gave her a small but tired smile as he handed over a mug of tea to Rae and the tablet, in which she took no hesitation into knocking back. Now, usually you would drink water but Rae being Rae was different and always requested tea the morning after a night out. Rae lifted her legs to make room for Al as he took place down on the couch before then laying them across his lap, he then croaked; his voice like gravel, "'Ow's the hangover?" He jokingly quipped, in which she scoffed, "Like some tiny little bastard is doing roadworks in my brain", He scoffed a laugh before taking a swig of his tea.

A moment or two passed before his eyes then widened, a memo he remembered smacking him in the face, "Y've got therapy today", In which she knitted her brow together in confusion, "'Ave I?" He nodded, "Yep, at three", She then pondered on it for a moment, raising her mug to her lips before pausing and lowering the mug down as she said, "I didn't know they worked on holidays", Al then gave her a smirk as he jokingly said, "I don't think people who are ill take days off, Rae", She then playfully glowered before whacking him with a couch pillow, the pair shared a laugh before it quietened and Rae took a sip of her tea. She liked the silence with Al, not because she didn't like talking with him as that was nice too but it was just the fact the pair could sit in complete silence and it not be awkward - comforting, even.

Rae then looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was just gone 10:30, she then exhaled before blurting, "Right! Let's get our shit together and get a move on".

Finn woke up with Chloe in his arms and tiredness on his face, he let out a relaxed sigh before closing his eyes again - the warmth from the covers and the comfort of Chloe made him not want to face the world today. He had to admit, he could already feel the hangover setting in; the motion sickness bubbling away at his stomach and he was too scared to sit up in case the world turned on a sudden axis and he'd vomit everywhere.

He wrapped his arms around Chloe's waist tighter, her back to him meaning he could pull her closer without it being an uncomfortable position. Just as he went to fall back asleep, Chloe sleepily mumbled, "Finn, y' stiffy's diggin' into my back", In which he quipped, "It's never bothered y' before", In which she scoffed, "Piss off", Finn scoffed a laugh before sleepily asking, "Y' alright?" She nodded, "Yeh, just knackered", "Then go back asleep", She huffed, "I would but am awake now", He closed his eyes and yawned, "Fair enough", A moment or two passed before he mumbled, "Wha' d'y' want t' do today?" She shrugged before she began to draw circles on Finn's arm, the motion cause him to stand on the fine line between sleep and conciousness, "Wha'ever y' wanna do".

He let out another yawn, "'Ow 'bout we chill for a bit and then go out later or summat, it was payday the other day", She then took a moment, before frowning, "Wha'? Just me and y'?" Through closed eyes, he nodded, "Yeh, could go t' tha' pizza place y' always bangin' on about", She couldn't stop that smile from spilling onto her lips, she then nodded, "Alright, we'll do tha' then", He then sighed, "But first I need t' do somethin'", She frowned and looked over her shoulder, "Wha'?" He then smirked before belting, "This", In which he let out a huge fart and trapped Chloe under the covers, causing her to let out a scream of disgust and he to let out a roar of laughter.

It reached to just past three and Rae was sat outside Brian's office, she'd met him before but never had a proper session with him. Brian arranged his first appointment with Rae on New Year's Day as he wanted a fresh start and bang on the beginning of the year, Rae could tell he was going to be an odd one...

She huffed, crossing her arms across her chest and appeared annoyed; but was secretly a bundle of nerves - a sense of de ja vu overcame her from the time she first met Kester. All that time ago. Except this time, she didn't have a diary - her thoughts too weird to write down. Despite the fact that, that was the sole purpose of the diary. Another moment or two passed, when Brian popped his head out the door and beckoned Rae to come through before turning back in. She then huffed, trying to calm her ever growing nerves, before rising to her feet and making her way over to the door. She pushed the door open before entering the room, closing it behind her.

This room was not so different to the one with Kester, same windows, same setting; except everything was the opposite way round. Where Rae and Kester sat, it was on the right side of the room and where Kester's - well Brian's - desk was, was on the left side of the room. Brian was already sat on one of the comfy seats, he gestured a hand towards the empty seat opposite him and gave a smile to Rae - in which she took as an invitation and made her way over to the empty seat; taking a place.

As Brian began to work on some paperwork, Rae took opportuinity to get a proper look at Brian - he was handsome, that was certain. He reminded Rae of the actor Marlon Brando, but think more On The Waterfront than The Godfather - tanned skin, sharp jaw, nice smile, perfectly styled mousey brown hair. He wore a cashmire grey jumper with the sleeves rolled up to just above his elbows; revealing slender arms and a silver watch on his left wrist that shined when he turned his wrist to a certain angle, black jeans, a silver ring on his right thumb, and shiny black dress shoes. Judging by the way he shuffled papers, stuttered when asking certain words and the amount of times he ran a hand through his hair - he was just as hopeless and nervous as she was.

Once he'd sign everything, crossed all the Ts and dotted the Is; he placed the paperwork on his desk and turned to Rae. He placed his elbows upon his knees and linked his fingers together, not too casual and not too formal. He gave her a smile before asking, "So! Rae, how's your week been? Been up to much?" His accent wasn't like her's, but a lot more posh - more proper. He annuciated his words, unlike Rae. She then shrugged, "Nah, not really. Not back in college till next week, only went out last night", He then nodded slowly, soaking in the information, "Ah right, New Year's Eve! How'd that go?" She sighed, "Alright, 'suppose as we only went the pub", "'We' As in?" "Just mates, mum, her husband and my boyfriend", He then nodded slowly, once more, "Ah cool, cool. Did you have fun?" She nodded, trying not to give too much away, "S'alright", A silence then fell between the two, Brian then broke it by asking, "So, you and your mum, Linda; am I right?" Off her head nod, he continued, "How's that going? Good?" Rae nodded, in which another silence fell.

Well, this wasn't awkward...

Rae then huffed, folding her arms, "Y'know wi' Kester, we usually only talked when I wanted t'", Brian scoffed, amusement upon his features. He then sat back, folded his arms, he then put one hand underneath his chin as his index finger expanded up his face and his thumb underneath his jaw, he placed the other hand upon his forearm and rested his foot on the opposite knee; almost replicating her position, "Ah, Dr. Gill told me you would try to pull something like this", In which she scoffed but couldn't help smile at the fact how well Kester actually knew her. Brian then unfolded himself, sat forward once more and beamed, "Right! Let's start again shall we?" He extended his hand with a smile, "Brian", She scoffed but played along as she reached forward and shook his hand, "Rae".

After her first succesful session with Brian, she decided to make a quick stop to Finn's on the way home - who was luckily in. As she made her way up the block of flat stairs, she went over the words she was going to say to him over and over in her mind - the words all jambled but still made sense. She walked straight into the flat, closing the door and calling out, "Finn!?" In which he called back, "Bedroom!" She chucked her backpack onto the floor, by the shoe rack, before making her way through to the bedroom. She walked in to see Finn in front of his body-length wardrobe mirror, buttoning up his white dress shirt. He gave her a smile and beamed, "Y'alright, Rae!" She gave a small smile and a nod, "Yeh, just thought I'd pop round for a bit", He gave her a small smile and nodded towards the bed, "Go sit down, I'm just gettin' ready".

She did as she was told and moved over to the double bed, taking a seat on the ottoman and watching as he did his buttons, without thinking she spoke, "Y' look nice", Mid-doing his second to top button, he turned slightly and gave a shy smile, "Y' reckon?" She nodded, a slight tint of rosy blush hinted at his cheeks before he turned and continued with getting ready. A moment passed before she asked, "So, where y' off?" He then began working on the sleeves of his buttons, not really wanting to tell her, "Urm, just out wi' Chloe for a bit", Rae slowly nodded, trying to brush it off, "Ah cool".

A silence fell between the two and Finn leaned over to chest of drawers, grabbing his tie and began working on that. Rae then huffed, "Listen, Finn. I... I came t'... T' tell y' summat", She spoke, suddenly growing shy and picking at her nails with nerves - her speech suddenly a bundle of letters and the gateway of her brain was not letting them through. He then turned, his hands fumbling with his tie as he still hadn't quite got the hang of doing it. She rolled her eyes and rose to her feet, making her way over to him and began helping him with his tie. As she did so, he watched her; fascinated. His eyes then fell to her lips as he asked, "Wha'?" She finished his tie and her eyes connected with his. There was a long pause between the two and neither could find the words, the close proximity and the sudden rush of hormones glued their mouths shut.

Finn then lost it, grabbed her face and planted a massive kiss upon her mouth.

Chloe couldn't stop the smile as she got ready that night, as she stood in her towel - she glanced at the clock. It had just gone past five, meaning Finn would be there in an hour. She went through her clothes with frustration, unsure of what to wear.

_Rae went for his pants, undoing his button and zip with such speed - almost as if they just popped open. Finn ripped off her flannel shirt, both attacking each other with hungry kisses._

Chloe decided that since she knew her clothes and underwear wouldn't be on too long, a black, lacey pair of underwear was a definite. She also decided to give herself a little moisterise, her skin needed a little soft touch. She started with her legs, as they were Finn's favourite.

_Finn and Rae had now stumbled upon the bed, he hoovered over her as he ripped off his boxers; throwing them across the room before ripping off her knickers and also throwing them across the room. Their lips never left each others as his hand slowly moved up the outer of her thigh before reaching the place Rae begged for him to touch._

Chloe decided a nice little number, some heels and not over doing it with the make up. As she sat at her vanity table, she took in her appearance and smiled - she was actually glowing with happiness. The first time she felt and looked happy in so long. She picked up her hairdryer and began working on her hair, decided to make effort with it tonight; instead of leaving it just it's usual straight way.

_Finn hissed and groaned as his fingers gripped Rae's hair whilst her head bobbed up and down, he needed her and wanted her - as did she with him. The pair just couldn't get enough of each other, almost as if they were going to burst if they didn't shag as soon as._

Chloe decided to use a curling wand on her hair, give it a little wave and bounce. Once that was taken care of, she began on her make up - bit of mascara, foundation, blusher and big, red and glossy lips.

_As Finn thrusted in and out of Rae with such force, she let out a moan mixed with a scream - which he then bite her lip. He realised with this pace, he'd come to his close soon; so, he slowed it down - moving in different rythms and different angles._

It reached to just past half six and Chloe was ready, waiting on her bed. She checked her watch and huffed, where the hell was he? Finn was never late.

_Both Finn and Rae had reached their climax, Finn's movements became slow and sloppy before coming to a complete halt. He then collapsed on Rae, rested his head on her chest as it rose and fall - the two tried to catch their breath. With the motion of Rae's chest moving up and down, and the effects of his post-orgasmic state - Finn could feel his eyelids growing heavy... And before he knew it, he was out like a light._


	27. Chapter 27

The following morning, Finn spent longer in the shower than needed - the hot water cleansing his skin and thoughts. As the water coated his body, he stared at the bathroom tiled wall; guilt creeping in. He knew that at the beginning of this affair that he couldn't afford to be guilty, but he couldn't stop the sickly feeling weigh heavy within his chest and turn his stomach. He did love Chloe but he also loved Rae, well, maybe not as much as he loved Chloe - but he did have a soft spot for her. Finn couldn't help but scold himself as he was confusing the situation far too much, so, as he washed himself - he broke down the situation:

Ok, here it was - he loved Chloe but also loved Rae, but was too far in the relationship with Chloe to call it quits to be with Rae now. He had loved Rae for as long as he could remember, but thought it was just an attraction - the same with Chloe.

It just didn't make sense... Maybe he was being stupid, maybe he should call it quits with Rae. He pondered on the thought as he shut off the shower, climbed out the bath tub - the cool air nipping at his skin - wrapping a warm towl off the radiator loosely around his waist and made his way through to his bedroom. He then moved over to his bed, to the side where Rae laid upon her stomach. He looked down at her and brushed away a stray piece of hair that had fallen over her face, he couldn't help but scoff a small laugh and smile as he took in her sleeping face - so peaceful. His smile then fell as he watched her so intently, it was the moment that decided he wanted to continue this little affair; but how he was going to balance a relationship and an affair without screwing up at least one of them was beyond him...

But the longer he stared at her made him realise that some things were worth fighting for.

Chloe was pissed, severly pissed. So, that morning she decided a jog with Archie was needed. The other night in the pub, Chloe spoke to Archie about becoming his running pal as she wanted to get in shape for Summer. So, they both arranged to meet up the morning after New Year's Day and go for a jog. It was a cold morning, the sun glistening off the frosted and lightly coated snow Rutland fields as Archie and Chloe jogged side by side; their breaths coming out in little clouds before them both as they chatted and jog. Chloe had to admit, she was surprised with how fit she actually was - then again maybe last year's gym obsession helped.

The pair were discussing last night and of course, Archie agreed that Finn was a right knobhead for not turning up last night but also didn't take sides and spoke of saying he was sure that Finn probably had a reasonable explanation as to why he hadn't turned up - which Chloe replied with a 'Hmmm'.

As they left The Rutlands and jogged onto the high street, they slowed down and decided to go for a coffee in Johnny's mum's cafe as their lattes were the best in Stamford. The pair entered the shop, mid conversation as they made their way over to the counter - in which Jordanne, one of Archie's friends, was working. She greeted them with a smile, "Y'alright, Archers ?" Archie nodded and continued, "Can we get two salted caramel lattes please, if y' would?" Jordanne beamed, "Yeh, sure. Whipped cream?" Archie then nodded, "I will, Chloe just wants 'er's plain", Jordanne nodded before tapping away at the till, looking up and saying, "Tha's a fiver, ta", Archie and Chloe both dug into their pockets, Archie got their first and handed over a fresh five pound note - Which Chloe frowned at and went to protest, in which Archie brushed it off. Considering it was empty, aside from two old women in the back, Jordanne, Archie and Chloe grew engrossed into a conversation. That is until Katie, one of the other staff members, handed over Archie and Chloe's lattes. The two gave their goodbyes before departing from Jordanne and making their way over to a far back table and sat down, placing their coffees on the table.

Chloe then turned and looked outside to see snow was beginning to fall, only light and it wasn't sticking but it was enough to excite Chloe. She sighed happily and picked up her mug to sip from her latte before turning her attention back to Archie and letting out a howl of laughter as he had whipped cream on his nose, he frowned, "Wha'?" She couldn't speak, only point at her own nose through breathless laughter, in which he shyly wiped away the cream from his nose - embarassment tinted on his cheeks.

Archie then took another sip of his drink before setting the mug down and clasping his hands together as he asked, "So, wha' y' gonna do 'bout the whole Finn thing?" Chloe shrugged and stared at a dirt spot upon the little wooden table in between herself and Archie, too tired to care anymore - Finn's dick-like behaviour now boring and expected. Archie gave a sympathetic half-smile before continuing, "Look, Chloe, I know he can be a dick sometimes bu-" "Remember when Rae and Finn stopped speakin' for those two weeks, cause they fell out summat really stupid?" Chloe saw Archie nod out of the corner of her eye, in which she continued; still not making eye contact, "Y'know in those whole two weeks, he barely said a word, barely ate, never slept. All he did was just sit in the kitchen, didn't move or owt and y'know wha' it's the only time I'd ever seen him care about summat, well someone, so much. So much that he physically couldn't do anythin', like I'd never see him so sad before or so miserable and y'know wha'? I sat there and I wished tha' it were because of me, I know it sounds so pathetic but...", She trailed off, turning her attention to the high street outside.

Archie could kill Finn, as much as Archie loved Finn; he hated his behaviour and the way he treated Chloe. Chloe then asked, her gaze back onto Archie, "Wha' d'y' think I should do?" Archie paused, letting the question sink in and he searched his brain to find an answer; which was, "If y' want my 'onest opinion, then I'd speak to 'im, 'ear 'im out and then shove a foot right down his throat".

And Chloe couldn't agree more.

As it were a Tuesday, Finn would usually be working in the garage but asked Tom, one of his fellow workers, if they could swap shifts as he had a ton of college work to do. Finn decided that since he had the day off he decided to go round to Sally's but it was practically deserted today, the only people in there were two old ladies having a natter in the back and Christine, one of the waitresses, on the counter. Other than that; it was completely empty. Finn took place at the regular table by the window and let out a deep breath, he then took out his work and just stared at it. Unable to make a start.

Just after Rae left the flat, Finn rung Izzy and told her to meet him at the cafe and keep him entertained; offering to buy her a fry up if she came, and she was there within ten minutes after he. As Finn watched passerbys and such outside, he thought it was incredible the way each person held a secret and story, how other people actually had lives – lives no one knew about. Like, a woman just bustled past in a rush; she could have just lost someone, got married, could've been going the hospital to see a loved one or could even have cancer... Or simply could be just going to work. He loved to people watch and often found himself trying to suss them out slightly.

"Divorcee", Finn turned to Izzy, who just broke his thoughts. He raised an eyebrow, Izzy continued, "She was a divorcee, she had divorce papers in her hand and a suit on. Definitely weren't a lawyer as she looked too together", Finn laughed, he loved Izzy. She was defintely one of Finn's closest and oldest friends, they knew each other like they knew Stamford. Knew each others fears, hopes, dreams, scars and secrets. One thing he loved about Izzy was nothing ever got by her, that woman and her papers as an example.

Izzy and Finn called each other, their "Back up" Which basically implied that if neither were married by the time they were thirty then they'd marry each other. That is, unless one of them came out gay suddenly. Izzy was a free spirit, she really didn't believe in relationships. She just didn't see the point of being someone's anything, and Finn put it down to her for the way he were and his views on relationships.

"So, what time did y' get home the other night?" Finn asked as he placed his cup of tea back on the table, Izzy shrugged, "Dunno, I think like two as I got bored", Finn rolled his eyes, "Y' incredible sometimes", she smirked, "Yeh but y' love me for it", He laughed, "Fair enough".

They both turned their attention back out the window and decided to play another game of people watching – Finn writing down some words on his essay every now and again. They randomly called people out every now and again. "Alright, knobheads?" Spoke Chop as he sat in his usual seat next to Izzy, giving her kiss on the cheek, "Where the fuck y' get t' the other night?" Izzy asked him, eyebrow raised. Chop exhaled, "The Rutlands", Finn was taken aback and frowned, "'Ow?" Chop shrugged, "Don't have a fuckin' clue, was such a top night though!" Finn and Izzy couldn't deny that New Year's Eve was one of the best night's they'd had in ages and had to agree.

Chop took a piece of toast off Finn's plate and asked through a mouth of hovis, "Where's everyone?" In which Izzy took a swig of her tea and said, "Al and Johnny are with Trev at his, Chloe's out with Archie, we're here and don't have a clue where Rae is", Without looking up from his work, Finn then responded with, "She in her's", Which Finn's brain then made a mental note of to ring her over how she was doing as she confessed a lot to him last night - checking in with her something he felt the need to now do daily.

He knew Rae was bad, but he never knew how bad. He had to admire Rae and how well she kept it together, well how well she pretended that she was ok. It was incredible how nobody knew how much of a mess she was, Finn was secretly happy that only he knew. Even if it was to do with her being a mental mess, still he was the only one that knew. Not even Al, of all people, knew.

The trio then spoke some more, tossed about some more banter and such. Chop then asked, "So, 'ow come y' not with the missus?" In which Finn shrugged and pretend to be suddenly interested in his work, Chop scoffed, "Y' not seriously fightin' again are y'?" Finn's head shot up, frown upon his brow as he shook his head, "No, it's not tha'", Chop pouted and frowned, sharing a clueless look with Izzy, who shrugged; which Finn didn't notice as he returned back to his work. Izzy and Chop turned their gaze back to Finn, in which Chop went to speak when Izzy interrupted, "Alright, Chlo!" And Finn's breakfast suddenly repeated on him.

Chloe clocked Chop and Izzy but never breathed a word to Finn, instead she simply sat down beside him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and lowly spoke through a smile, "Wait till we get home", Before pulling away and turning to Izzy and Chop, her tone and tune completely changing; all smiles and rainbows. Finn then looked up from his work and tried to involve himself in the conversation but couldn't help and focus on Chloe's words, her tone of voice codeword for;

"You're getting hanged by your little toe".

The last time Finn had ever heard a tone like be used for him, was by his mother and he can still remember it now; clear as day...

_It was two summers back and the start of when Finn and Chloe began to get close, the night before; Chloe had fallen out with her boyfriend before Finn - before then drunkenly staggering around to Finn's, in which Finn offered a place on his couch. It was a glorious morning, judging by the heat of Finn's bedroom. He gave a yawn and stretch as he woke that morning before trailing downstairs and into the living room __where Chloe slept peacefully upon his couch. The glow of the sun through the curtains meant it must have been gone past six, Finn was right as he looked at the old clock that hung above the mantel piece; reading that it was 8:01. _

_It was Monday, meaning Finn's shift wasn't till ten. Meaning he had enough time to get a shower, grab a piece of toast and get to the garage. But his first prioty was waking Chloe, so he made his way over and crouched down, "Chloe", He breathed softly, awaiting her response before continuing, "Chlo", It took a few more attempts and a couple of strokes on her back; before she eventually woke. _

_Through tired eyes and a lazy grin, she croaked a 'Mornin''. He returned her smile and asked, "Y'alright?" She groaned as she did a satisfying stretch, before sighing, "I guess", He then rolled his eyes playfully, "Y' shouldn't get so drunk then should y'", She giggled. He then stood properly and looked down at her as he then spoke, "Listen, I've got a shift till half six. So, y' can go back asleep and wait till I get back or y' can get ready and I'll drive y' home?" She thought about it before innocently asking, "Y'... Y' sure you wouldn't mind me staying 'ere?" He smiled, "Course not, mum's not back till eightish and J's stayin' in nan's, so y'll have a free house and y' can stay for as long y' want", She then smiled a soft and grateful smile, "Thanks, Finn" He shrugged, "It's nowt, now y'know where the kitchen is as y' here enough", She then took a swipe at his legs and shouted, "Cheeky bastard!" They shared a laugh as he dodged her kick before turning and leaving her to do whatever._

_Finn left for upstairs and for his bedroom, he stripped down to his boxers and socks when one of the house phones (This being one of two) Rung throughout his bedroom. He picked the phone up off the stand and clicked 'Accept', "Hiii", He answered, in which Rae breathed, "Finn", Her tone sent a surge of panic through his veins as he responded, "Rae? Wha's up?" She let out a sob before sniffing, "Finn, summat has happened to Tix, listen she tried to overdose last night and well she's in hospital and I... Fuck", She roared through heartfelt sobs, in which Finn then butted in; "Rae, calm down", She then sniffed, whimpering, "Listen can y' drive me to the hospital?" His face fell as he picked up his watch off his chest of drawers; checking the time, "Rae, I can't. I've got a shift at ten and I-" She cut him off, pleading, "Finn, please. I'm begging y', my mum can't take me as she's in work and Karim can't drive. I wouldn't ask y', if I wasn't desperate. Please, y' can just drop me off and y' don't have to stay "._

_He chewed the inside of his cheek, torn, he exhaled before then saying, "I'll pick y' up in twenty minutes", He heard her let out a, somewhat, happy sob, "Thank y' so much, seriously. Y' don't know how much this means to me, I'll see y' in a bit", And with that, she hung up. Finn then looked at the phone before tapping it against bottom lip in thought, he then sighed before chucking the phone back onto his bed, stripping off his boxers and socks and leaving for the bathroom._

_It was going to be a long day._

_Finn was showered, dressed and down the stairs within ten minutes. He made his way into the kitchen to find Chloe cupping a mug of tea, leaning against the kitchen units; staring as she grew lost in thought. The smell of toast wafted around the kitchen and he noted the plate of freshly buttered toast on the kitchen counter. He made his way over and took a piece, taking a bit before swallowing it and asking as he leaned his bum against the kitchen units, "Y'alright?" Chloe snapped out of whatever thought she was thinking, it growing smaller in her eyes as looked at him, "Wha'?" Finn laughed a little before repeating his question._

_She shrugged, took a swig of tea before swallowing it and saying, "Yeah, just tired", He gave her a small smile and said nothing. A few minutes passed before Finn was chewing on the last bits of toast and saying, "Listen I need to go as there's summat I've gotta do before I got t' work, y' sure y' gonna be alright?" She nodded, "Yeh, I'll be fine", He swallowed the last bit of toast and raised his eyebrows at her, "Promise?" She rolled her eyes playfully and nodded, "Promise, now get out!" She playfully quipped, pushing him out; which he laughed at and left for the hallway._

_Luckily for him, his mum had gotten a lift to work off a friend; meaning he had all access to the car. He picked the car keys out the key bowl, shrugged on his hoodie, zipped it up half way and called out, "Chloe! I'll be back around seven, so can y' manage till then!?" He heard her huff playfully and quip back sarcastically, "Nah I think I may just accidentally burn down the house before y' get back!" He rolled his eyes but couldn't help a smile form onto his lips, before he then called back, "Just don't do anythin' I wouldn't do alright?" She then gave another sarcastic respond of, "Yes dad!" _

_He snorted a laugh, checked his appearance in the hallway mirror before turning and leaving. He trodded down the garden steps, throwing up his hood as a light rain was gracing Stamford with it's presence today and a low whistle left his lips as he made his way out the garden and over to the car. He unlocked the car and climbed in, closing the door; letting out a huff as he mentally prepared himself for the chaos that was about to take place._

_He put the car into drive and flicked on the radio, a new single by The Spice Girls hummed out throughout the car. Now Finn wasn't at all into Spice Girls or any pop music but he had to admit that the girl group's songs had a good and catchy beat to them, you know the kind; the kind that would haunt your dreams and still be stuck in your head a week later._

_It wasn't long before Finn brought the car to a halt as he was now outside Rae's, he beeped the horn twice and then waited; drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he did so. He bopped his head to the beat before then turning his head to the right and saw Rae walking down her garden steps and over to the car, his heart tightened as he took in her appearance; this wasn't Rae. At all. Her hair was more natural than usual, looking a lot thicker, curlier and untamed. Her face was pale and shown no signs of make up. She wore a maroon criss-cross knit jumper, navy blue skinny jeans and maroon Dr. Martens boots... He felt as if he wasn't looking at Rae, but the ghost of her. _

_She climbed in, closing the door behind her. She tossed her black leather jacket onto the back seats before turning and putting on her seat belt, he waited a moment before asking, "Y'alright?" She simply stared ahead and softly said, "Drive", Knowing he wasn't getting anything out of her today, he turned his attention to the road, put the car into drive and began the journey to Stamford General._

_Finn returned home that night and entered the house to be greeted by Chloe calling out from the living, "Finn!? Tha' you!?" Finn tossed the car keys into the bowl underneath the mirror, calling out, "Yeah!" He then made his way through to the living room; where Chloe lazed on the couch, nursing a cup of tea and watching Brookside. Finn then flopped himself onto the armchair, groaning as he noted what was on, "Y' seriously not watchin' this?" Chloe rolled her eyes, "Wha'? It's brilliant!" Finn scoffed before it then grew silent, well silent until;_

_"Y' smell of weed", Finn turned to Chloe, who raised an eyebrow at him as she spoke. Finn then shifted slightly, feeling a bit uncomfortable, "Do I?" She scoffed, "Y' reek of it", She took a swig of tea and turned her attention back to the telly. Finn then, stupidly, asked, "Reckon my mum would notice?" Chloe looked at him and her look was enough for him to get up and head for the shower upstairs._

_Speaking of his mum, the front door opened and shut which then Janet called out as she entered the living room, "Finn are y'..." She trailed off as she noted Chloe on the couch, growing stiff slightly... She never liked Chloe, there was just something about her that irked Janet, "Oh, hello Michelle. What are y'... What are y' doing here?" Her tone strained, forcing herself to be polite and not tell her where to go. Chloe sensed Janet's sudden hostility and sat up, "Oh hi Miss. Nelson, sorry I urm stayed over last night and Finn said I could chill here for a bit and yeah"._

_Janet made a mental note to speak to Finn later, before she asked, "Oh right, well are y' staying for tea?" Chloe said, innocently as she could, "I don't wanna be a bother or anythin'!" Janet waved her keys at her, "Oh don't be silly, love! More the merrier", Well that was bullshit. Chloe then smiled a grateful smile, "Thank you", Janet then forced a smile before turning and jogging up the stairs, to be greeted by a half naked Finn; who wore nothing but boxers._

_"Oh, hi mum. How was work?" Not one for beating around the bush, Janet hissed in low tones, "Finn, what is she doing here?" Harry exhaled with annoyance, "Oh don't start, mum", He went to walk into the bathroom, when Janet blocked his path, "Don't y' fucking talk to me like that, now tell me why __**she **__is downstairs and on my couch after I told you to not bring her round here anymore", Finn glowered at Janet, God did he hate her sometimes, "__**She **__has a name mum, and she needed a place to stay", Janet scoffed, "So, she couldn't go and stay in someone else's?" Finn huffed, "No, otherwise she wouldn't be here now would she?" Janet scowled, "Don't speak to me like that, Finn. Now, listen to me and you listen to me good; after dinner I want her out and gone and never back in this house again, do you understand?" In which Finn slumped his shoulders, trying to show how much he couldn't give a shit; suddenly becoming fifteen years old again. Janet then continued, "I said, do y' understand?" Finn then snapped, "Fuck's sake yes! God, y' so annoying!" He then stormed off into the bathroom, slamming the door shut after him._

_Janet then gritted her teeth together as she forced a smile and made her way down the stairs, popping her head into the living room as she asked;_

_"Is pasta bake ok?"_

Finn couldn't help but wonder on the awkward home with Chloe as to where it all began to get so complicated, he couldn't help but think back to when they had started sneaking around. He couldn't help but envy his past self of how easy he used to have it, he liked Chloe and she liked him, they confessed, got close, had sex, got together and everything suddenly fitted. So, where in that timeline had the arguments snuck their way in? Where had his feelings for Rae grew so strong and his relationship with Chloe grow so sour? If he could've picked any time to go back to, it would've be that summer - Summer of '96. The summer where Rae was with Al, Chloe and he were sort've together, his mum was alive, his dad was out the picture, his brother was living with him, there were no exams or such to stress about and everybody was happy.

Finn couldn't help but scoff a smile at the memories they had made that summer, which instantly faltered when he and Chloe entered the flat, walked into the kitchen and Chloe turned to - fire in her eyes. Well, stomping his feet and cheesy pasta bake most certainly wasn't going to get him out of this one...


	28. Chapter 28

Chloe gave him a look, a look that flashed a memory within his mind - the night he drove Chloe home after dinner that night, the one with his mum...

_After an awkward but delicious dinner, Finn then offered to drive Chloe home; using the offer as an escape from his overbearing mother. Don't get Finn wrong, he loved her but she could be unbearable and irritating sometimes._

_Throughout the car ride, Finn apologised over and over - which Chloe brushed away. The car then came to a slow stop as they pulled up outside Chloe's, she paused before turning to him, "Does y' mum hate me?" Chloe asked, her tone slightly harsh, which Finn didn't know how to respond. He grew silent and didn't reply, he didn't know how to. She then picked at her cuticles before looking back up at him, she had a look of vulnerability; suddenly resembling the girl Finn first met all those years ago, "Listen tell her that I am sorry, if I've upset her or owt", Finn gave her a small smile, "Ay, don't be silly. She doesn't hate y', my mum can just be a little funny sometimes. I think it was cause she was tired, tha's all"._

_Chloe then left it, she leaned over and kissed his cheek before mumbling a 'See y' later' And climbing out the car, shutting the door after her. Finn watched her cross the bonnet, walk into her garden, up the stairs and into her house - all safe and sound. Finn decided that going home wasn't an option as he wasn't in the mood for a grilling from his mum and that he was in need of alcohol._

_Lots of it._

He could still remember the way her lips felt against his cheek, the way the contact disturbed the butterflies within his tummy. He snapped out of his dazed stare when Chloe scoffed and pushed past him, through to the living room - in which he followed her lead. Chloe took place on the couch, sliding off her shoes with frustration and exhaustion. Finn walked over to his liqour cabinet, pulling out a scotch glass and a half-finished bottle of whiskey. Without saying a word, he poured himself a glass, picked up the bottle and glass and then made his way over to the couch - placing the glass and bottle upon the coffee table and taking a seat beside Chloe.

Finn downed his drink, cringing as the amber liquid slid down his throat and burned his chest. He then placed the glass back down and poured himself another before picking it up and examining the drink as it swished around in the shiny glass - unsure of what to say. Finn let out an exhale before placing the glass back down and scratching the back of his neck; in fear that if he talked then his words would come out backwards and jumbled.

"D'y' love me?" Chloe asked, the vulnerable tone shown upon her delicate but worn out features and laced within her voice. Finn then sharply looked at her, frowing, "Wha'? Course I do", He then went to place his hand on her knee when she scoffed, pushing his hand away, "Don't, Finn, don't... Don't pull tha' bullshit. I'm tired, Finn, really fuckin' tired of this. It's like we're just goin' in constant circles and I-" "Is this all cause of last night? Seriously?" She glowered as she huffed, "No, this isn't just about last night. Am talkin' about the past few weeks, no scrap that; the past few months. I mean, wha's goin' on, Finn? Is it me? 'Ave I done summat?" He shook his head, wincing at her words, "No, Chlo. It's not y'... It's me, I dunno I just...", He let out an exhale before he continued, "It's like I try so 'ard, I really fuckin' do but every time I try with one thing, summat else goes wrong. It's like I can't win, no matter 'ow 'ard I try, I just can't win", He then picked up his glass and downed the drink, but it wasn't his words that upset Chloe but the way he spoke them - his tone and demeanour enough to cause her heart to sink. She knew in her heart of hearts that Finn was just as done as she was, but both cared to much to say the words "It's over" - both terrified to call it quits and have a sudden change in their routine. Both so used to the fighting and such, that they couldn't see their lives any other way.

There was a pause before Chloe then continued, "Wha' are we even doin', Finn? I mean... Is it even worth it anymore?" Finn looked at her, to see her staring ahead; almost as if she weren't supposed to speak - as if her thoughts were in a big speech bubble above her head. He then chewed the inside of his cheek before sighing, "I just don't know, Chlo", Her next question then threw Finn as she asked, "D'y' even care anymore?" Her question both a shock and a stab to the chest, of course he fucking cared - why else would've he have put up with her for so long? The shock of her even questioning his care and love for her, enough to keep Finn quiet...

Chloe then spoke, her tone still soft, "Look am gonna go for a bath and go t' bed, we can talk about this in the mornin'", She rose to her feet and went to leave when Finn asked, "'Ow many lads know tha' y' toes go numb when y' 'ave an orgasm?" She frowned and turned, asking, "Y' wha'?" He didn't make eye contact, focused on his scotch glass as he messed with it, "'Ow many lads know tha' y' toes go numb after an orgasm?" His tone more slow and clear, in which she shrugged, "Just y', why?" "Right, and 'ow many know y' 'ave a birthmark on y' lower back or 'ow many know y' like to eat burgers in circles or 'ow many know y' can't sleep with socks on or 'ow y' 'ate the feelin' of velvet?" Her silence was enough for him to continue, his tone began to grow more annoyed with each word, "Exactly, so don't ever fuckin' sit there and say I don't care, Chloe", Finn then rose to his feet, the glass still in his hand, "And I am sick of y' constantly sayin' I don't love y' or care when y' 'ave no fuckin' clue, y' just don't", He then launched his glass across the room, the sounds of it shattering echoed and bounced off the walls as it came into contact with the wall and floor - causing Chloe to jump slightly. Finn then stalked over to Chloe, grabbing her face and kissing her before then shaking her slightly as he bellowed in her face, "Why are y' never 'appy, Chloe? Like, when am I ever gonna be enough for y'!?" In which she tried to argue back with, "Y' are, Finn!" Her voice breaking, in which he shook his head and interrupted, resting his forehead on her's and his voice cracked, "Please, Chloe. Stop it, stop playin' wi' me. I can't fuckin' do it, am tired of this. Am tired of us fightin', tired of feelin' like this. Cut the bollocks, Chloe and just be 'appy, for fuck's sake", She then whimpered, "I try and I jus-" He cut her off with a headshake, "Y' don't, not anymore", She then folded her arms and scowled, "So, wha' d'y' wanna do?" In which he lifted his head away from her's and rested his forearms on her shoulders, "I don't wanna split up, I love y' way too much and I wanna make a go of it", In which she sighed before she stuttered, "Bu-but wha' if it don't work?" "Then we'll make it work".

He bored his eyes into her's, as she did with him. The pair unable to speak, too scared in case they spoke and it kicked off another argument. They wanted to start over, in fear of losing one another and being replaced too much to bare. They knew they were coming to an end, they felt it - felt it deep down. But they were hanging on, by a thread - clutching that tiny piece of string that held them together; it worn and ready to snap. One thing that was currently bouncing on that string, was Finn's guilt - as if the guilt was a finger and plucking the string; making it weaker and weaker.

Al woke the following morning more relaxed, refreshed and happier than he'd been in a while. He blinked slowly a few times, letting his brain catch up as the room came into view. He rubbed his eyes and let out an inward sigh, he looked at Rae beside him and scoffed a small and amused laugh - her light snores made his mornings that little bit funnier. She may have been cute but her sleep face was hilarious. He stretched as he reached up to his bedside table and grabbed his watch, squinting to the face of the clock to see it had just gone past 10:03. He then chucked his watch back and turned, molding his head back into his pillow and closing his eyes; a relaxed and heavy sigh left his nose as he became one with comfort once more.

He liked days like this, where he and Rae could laze in bed, wake up whenever and do whatever they pleased. He liked the normality of it. Although Rae wasn't exactly all there in the well department, she hadn't been all too good recently - which is why Al had arranged for a day with her and Archie. Al loved Archie like a brother, never had a problem with Archie and Archie never had a problem with him as they both made Rae happy; and that's all the other wanted. He knew Archie was coming round for three, so, he and Rae had a good few more hours of sleep in bed before Archie popped round for dinner and a film.

But once Al was awake, then he was awake - he'd always been like that. He knew it wouldn't be too long before Rae would be awake, so, he decided to creep out of bed and head straight for the kitchen - breakfast suddenly on his mind. He yawned and stretched as he made his way through the flat and into the kitchen, where he then attacked the cupboards - searching for pans and such. He set everything up, when the buzzer went. He frowned, unsure of who it could be.

He walked through and over to the intercom, pressing the 'talk' Button, "Yooo?" He breathed, in which the other person spoke, "It's me! Can I come up?" Turns out, it was Izzy. Al then pressed the talk button once more, "Yeh, sure. I'll buzz y' up now", In which, he did so. He then took the latch off the front door and made his way back into the kitchen, getting breakfast and the kettle on the go.

It wasn't too long before Izzy entered the flat, but what surprised Al was the person trailing behind Izzy; a person Al thought he wouldn't see for a good few years - Izzy's sister Tash. His eyebrows raised, before he beamed, "Fuck off, where the pissin' 'ell 'ave y' been?" He moved over, embracing Tash in a massive bear hug - causing her to giggle. As they pulled away and he walked back over to the frying pan, he nodded towards the table, "Sit down, chill out, guys. Make y'selves comfortable, am just doin' a fry up. Want one?" In which Izzy took no hesitation to 'yes' But Tasha simply asked for a cup of tea.

Two sausages, half a can of beans, two eggs, two pieces of white bread plus butter, no tomato as she disliked tomato, and one tea with full-fat milk and two sugars all came to exactly 458 calories. 458 calories she would have to burn off, throw up and not eat tomorrow.

As much as she would've liked to enjoy this time with her sister and long-term best friend, the disorder didn't stop. Tasha may have had the day off work, but her disorder didn't take the day off. But she let it throw it's tantrum and throw every insult at her, because she was that used to it by now.

It may have been there and it had been there for two years now, but you get used to something if it's there long enough.

Now, let's move on from Rae and Al for a little while and enter the world of another character. Let's start with Tasha.

Natasha Paige Jones, born and raised in Stamford, despite wanting to travel the world - Tasha had lived in Stamford her whole life. Went to nursery, primary, high school and was currently working as a nurse in Stamford general. Tash wasn't shy but nor was she was out-going, she was the perfect balance; shy when you first met her but bubbly once she got used to you. From birth until eleven, you could never shut Tasha up. But with glasses and braces from aged 12 to aged 15, Tasha became a walking high school target and locked her loud and sunny personality away. Aged 22 and standing at 5ft11, Tash was a stunner. She had a good head of dirty blonde hair, tanned skin and striking hazel eyes. She was far past pretty and onto the level of point blank stunning, but with a humour and mind like hers you really didn't need looks. She was quick with the jokes and banter, and could solve any equation quicker than you could say your own name. Tasha was smart, meaning she could hide secrets well.

Very well.

When that make up came off along with her smile and she sat before her mirror at two in the morning, Tash was really a walking hollow shell of self-hatred and misery. As she steadily grew thinner, she hated herself more. No matter how thin she would get, her hatred and sadness wouldn't disappear. It were as if she were constantly aiming for a goal she'd never achieve.

All it took was one comment, one comment of 'Wow, aren't your arms chubby' and that was it. She then was swallowed whole by her own thoughts, it never stopped. Nobody knew a thing as she hid her skeleton frame underneath baggy clothes, and her shallow face was covered in make up. She knew all the tricks of the trade, such as using her toothbrush instead of her fingers to avoid the risk of teeth marks and blisters, foundation and blush to hide her cheekbones and grey, washed out skin tone, a glass of water before eating so it'd be easier to get it back up, always taking a toothbrush and toothpaste with her everywhere, ridiculous amounts of paracetamol to make her feel sick so she didn't have to eat.

And there was many more, and she knew them well. Too well. Her parents knew and so did Izzy, her mum and dad had gotten her help before but it evidentially didn't work. And she continued to grow thinner, weaker and more hateful.

Before the 90s, things such as Depression and eating disorders were never looked at in teenagers – it was always labelled down as hormones. But then when young and budding supermodels, such as Kate Moss, hit the runways and tabloids, depression and eating disorders appeared from nowhere. Well, not nowhere as they've always been there but it became more common.

Depression nowadays is so terribly common, it's not even taken seriously anymore. But what's more common is how some teenagers will claim they have depression for even the slightest bit of attention. It's the ones who don't even so much as breathe the word 'depression' are the ones who sit alone at 3 in the morning whilst sobbing their hearts out, the ones who can't feel anything, the ones who will sit there and do whatever they can to make you smile, the ones who are the most polite and well-mannered, they're ones you've got to be careful with.

Another thing that became a shockingly common thing worldwide was an eating disorder. An eating disorder... It's a powerful thing. Don't sit there and ever say you can know what someone who's had/has an eating disorder is going through, unless you've had one. It's completely different from thinking you're fat to what it actually is. It crawls under your skin and lives inside of you, it opens up a whole new hatred for yourself. It's terrifying. It makes you want to exercise until you can't stand and faint, it makes you think thoughts about yourself you never thought you had.

It stays with you for life, so don't sit there and claim you have an eating disorder or say you know what it's like until you've been on a treadmill for three hours straight without eating for five days. You have no idea what it's like and Tasha was sick of girls claiming they have one to look cool or to get a bit of attention. Eating disorders aren't fun, you lose hair, your nails become brittle, you can even lose teeth. It's evil, an eating disorder is evil. It consumes your every thought. When you're not eating, you're thinking about it. When you're not thinking about it, you're exercising until you cry.

Now, although Tash had told her parents she'd been travelling the past year - she had really been living in a little house in Stamford. She was too ashamed to admit she couldn't hack the travelling and decided to hide out in her own little cave; it amazed her how Izzy hadn't bumped into her sooner. Her parents knew that Tash worked in the hospital as that's where she worked before she claimed she wanted to give it up and see the world, but her illness took over once more and she soon returned home - tail between her legs. But she was back and just in time as Izzy was expecting, Rae was ill and Archie Nelson existed.

Rae woke around eleven and didn't take long to catch up with the gossip. It got to around half past two when Archie popped round and Tasha instantly felt the butterflies when he walked in the room.

Gushington central or what.


	29. Chapter 29

Rae had always wondered what it was like to a bird... She always wondered what it was like to just wake up of a morning, pack up your shit and leave - not saying goodbye to even your closest. But also Rae wondered why birds stayed in the same place, then she often found herself asking herself that very same question; she had the ability, so why didn't she just go?

Fear? Worry? Anxiety?

Try all of the above. Life is a funny thing, as is your mind. It's humorous the way one little thing, even if it's the tiniest thing, can just make you see a whole different out look on life. As much as the idea of traveling was always a temptation to Rae, she knew she'd be a homebird. The furthest Rae had stayed from home, was her and Al's as she couldn't find herself living anywhere else - she had everything she needed, so, why move out of Stamford? It was a rarity that Rae was round at Linda's, so time at home was precious as a home wasn't just a place made of bricks but memories and security - hence the saying 'Home is where the heart is'.

Rae loved how at home she could cry as much as she wanted, be as quiet as she wanted... Let her sadness keep her company. As much as Rae wanted to enjoy her time with Tash, Izzy, Al and Archie; Rae couldn't help but ache for home - home where her inner darkness called for her. Archie, Izzy and Tash made themselves comfortable, until half six when it grew dark and they decided they were stuffed from Al's lasgne and all talked out. It reached to about seven when Rae and Al decided to get a move on with clearing the dishes and such, it was quiet but they didn't mind. Well, quiet until Al ask as he dried and put the dishes away whilst Rae scrubbed, "Y've been quiet tonight, y' feelin' alright?" She nodded but a word didn't leave her lips, her mind too focused on the food she ate and the way the burning from the soapy water washed over her skin and gave her that satisfaction she ever so craved.

The more she scrubbed, the more she grew tired - even washing the dishes becoming such a tiring task. Rae jumped slightly when she felt Al's arms slip around her stomach and his chin rest upon her shoulder, he then watched her as she took no notice and continued with her chore. A moment or two past before he asked, "Rae, talk t' me", A moment passed before Rae then dropped the dishcloth and scrubber before she began to crumble and cry. Alarmed, Al frowned and moved from behind her - sliding himself in between her and the sink. He placed his hands on either side of her face and tried to latch his eyes onto her as she refused to make eye contact, "Rae?" He timidly asked, in which she sniffed before she looked at him; fright in her eyes, "Why is... Wha's 'appenin' t' me?" His stomach dropped at her tone, her tone and tears resemembling something similar to a child. He then asked as he wiped her tears away with his thumbs, "Is it the voices again?" In which all she could do was nod before another sob left her lips, in which Al took no hesitation into pulling her into his arms and rocking her gently side to side as her arms slid around his waist and clutch his T-shirt as the more she sobbed.

Al remembered from when he and Linda first had a talk over scenarios, such as this and what to do; the first thing Linda recommended was a cuddle, the next was a bubble bath - which Al took no time into running for Rae. He made sure it was the temperature she liked and even put in a bath bomb for her he bought two weeks ago. Once she was in, he took place on the toilet seat and watched as she brought her knees to her chest and stare blankly - hollowness and exhaustion within her eyes. He lifted the shower head off the stand, switched it on and waited for the water to become warm. Once satisfied with the warmth, he began on her hair - being gentle as he could. Rae didn't move, didn't flinch and said nothing.

Al gave her hair a good scrub with as much care as his hands could manage, before he shut the shower off and she began to cry - once more. She thought everything over, the way the food curdled in her stomach, tormenting her. The voices in her mind screeched and threw tantrums the more she tried to ignore them, her shoulders heavy and her mind was beginning to kick into overdrive as she thought everything over, she was a waste of space, a pig, a no good slut, a liar and a cheat. She then sniffed, "I-I don't get it, I don't get why am so sad..." She then looked up at Al as her eyes flickered before she turned her gaze back to it's original spot as she continued, "All of the time... Wha's 'appenin' t' me, Al? I don't even know who I am anymore", Al said nothing, his look spoke everything he needed to say - enough to make Rae realise that although Finn promised her the world and everything in between, it was Al that truly loved her. She tried to convince herself that her mind was just being silly and Finn treated her like a princess, Finn was the one who cared for her - not Al. But then if that was the case;

Then why was Al the one who was here and Finn was God knows where?

After Rae's bath, she headed straight to bed as where Al didn't feel tired - so he left her be and ventured to the living room. Al took no time into building a rollie and flicking on the telly, watching whatever mind-numbing bollocks that was on the box. Once his rollie was built and lit, he sunk back into the couch and felt at the peace - the low maroon glow coming from his Christmas lights a big help. Rae's confession before crossed Al's mind and worry nestled into his brain, before he began to give himself a confidence boost - she'll sleep, see Brian, she'll be fine... She'll be fine.

Al just couldn't help but wonder whether he meant it or whether he was just trying to reassure himself and the invisible elephant within the room.

Rae slept for a good twelve hours, waking when it was just past three in the following afternoon. She woke dazed and alone, she looked to the empty bedspace beside her to see a poorly written note on the empty pillow. She picked it up and sat up, rubbing her eyes with her free hand - trying to clear her blurred and sleepy vision. It spoke of Al had to leave as his boss had rung, meaning he'd be back tomorrow. Rae knew what Al did was wrong, but as long as Al didn't get hurt, they had a roof over their heads and money in the bank - Rae was willing to turn a blind eye.

She checked her Swatch to see it was not long gone half three, meaning she hadn't completely slept the day away and she could still do her rounds of seeing everybody - not that she wanted to. She climbed out of bed, not looking up as she scurried past the body length mirror; that stood dauntingly on the left of their wardobe. She frowned as she could hear the TV on within the living room, how many times did she have to tell Al not to le-

"'Ello?" She spoke with a harder frown and a hint of confusion as she eyed the Finn, Izzy and Chop who sat on the couch and armchair, chewing on pizza and watching 'Guys and Dolls' Aka one of Finn's favourite films ever to exist. The three turned to her, she earned a smile from Izzy and a "Y'alright, Raemundo?" From Chop. But silence and a blank expression from Finn. Rae then asked, "'ow long y's been 'ere?" Chop and Finn shared a shrug before turning back to Rae, which Chop answered, "Dunno, 'bout an hour. Al asked us t' come round 'cause y've not been feelin' well again", She folded her arms, growing hostile; she didn't need everyone babying her every five minutes - she was fine on her own. She then sighed, "Fair enough", She then caught Finn's eye, which he quickly cut off the eye contact and his hands became a sudden interest.

She then turned to Chop, suddenly turning on her 'Rae persona', "Right, considerin' y' lazy bastards are gonna be annoyin' me for the next few hours, would y' like a cuppa?" In which both boys said no and Izzy said yes, Rae then turned and left for the kitchen; a sugary and milky tea flashed in her mind and danced faintly upon her tastebuds.

Rae entered the kitchen and saw the kettle was half-filled; enough to make her own cuppa. She flicked it on and then turned to the kitchen window, the view overlooked the town; which was currently covered in a blanket of blinding white snow - She wondered whether Finn had already saw it and whether he felt regret that he left his camera at home. It was coming up to that time of day what photographers called 'The magic hour' As whenever it was sun rise or sun set, it always gave off the golden glow that washed over wherever you lived, the reason what made you grateful and appreciate everything - even only for a moment and in that moment, your breath would catch in the back of your throat and it would bring you to a stand still.

"Rae?" Spoke Finn softly from the kitchen doorway, she turned and felt all self-power drain - the familiar urge to run into his arms there in full force. He then asked with a scoff, "Wha's goin' on?" But it wasn't a spiteful scoff, more of a scoff of disbelief and exhaustion - as if he'd spent nights upon nights awake, thinking it over and over. She then folded her arms, again; which gave Finn an odd feeling - unsure of what it was but it settled unpleasantly within his stomach. He gave that same look of vulnerability she felt she wore every time they had sex, whenever she gave herself to him - but his was more in a frightened way than lust. Her mouth opened as she tried to find the words before huffing, "Wha' are we even doin', Finn? Seriously? Who are we kiddin', we can't do this. We can't... Y've got Chloe, I-" He then cut her off, "Don't, Rae, don't start. Look, it's started now and we can't change tha'", "Yeh but y' said if I wanted t' I could pull out and put a stop to it!" She snapped, her brow knitting together. The pair spoke in low tones, paranoid of speaking too loud and alerting the couple on the other side of the door. Finn threw his hands up, "So, tha's it? It's over?" "I never said tha'", He then spat, a little too loudly, "Then wha' d'y' want!?" She sharply looked at the door before back at Finn, "Keep it down, fuckin' 'ell", He then huffed, "So, c'mon, wha' d'y' want?" She shuffled her feet awkwardly as she looked down, unable to find the words, "I... I dunno, Finn".

He chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to read her expression but he came back clueless. Finn then moved over to her and placed his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look at him; but she couldn't and kept her eye contact downwards. He then softly demanded, "Rae... Rae, look at me", Her eyes then shot up from the floor and into his eyes, she was gone - hook, line and sinker. He then pressed, almost as if he were begging, "Look, don't... Don't end it 'ere, it's just... Y' not well at the minute and y' not thinkin' straight, jus-" "It's not tha', Finn, I'm ill 'cause I feel so fuckin' awful and cheap an-an' dirty", Her words wounded Finn, he then inwardly sighed before he then begged once more, "Don't... Look, let's just try it a bit longer and if y' really wanna end it then we can but don't do it... Not now", She then nodded, looking down to the floor. He then asked, "Alright?" She nodded, he then lifted her chin with his index finger; making sure she meant it, "Yeah?" She nodded, giving him a tight-lip smile.

A smile then broke out upon his lips, he'd gotten his own way. He then couldn't help but kiss her, her lips far too tempting to ignore - but when she kissed him, it wasn't as fulfiling as usual. It didn't make her feel as happy as usual. It tasted stale and felt forced. She couldn't help but feel completely manipulated, but she ignored it; she had to - she had no right to complain. He then pulled away and jokingly quipped, "Kettle's boiled", Before turning and leaving without another word - a completely different person compared to the quivering mess he was just five minutes ago.

As Al wasn't going to be home till tomorrow evening, Finn stayed over and whilst he slept peacefully; Rae was unable to drift off. She turned her gaze from her bedroom window and turned to Finn beside her, he slept upon his stomach with an arm draped over Rae and his face turned towards her. The outline of his features faintly apparent against the darkness; his eyelids flickering underneath the moonlight that poured through the window as he dreamt. They didn't have sex that night, just laid in bed - until Finn drifted off into an easy sleep. Although he'd never admit it, he always slept easier when he was with Rae - always felt safer. It was different than with Chloe, with Chloe he never felt completely contempt - only ever sleeping four or so hours - but with Rae, he could sleep the day away and wake up happy. That's why he held onto her, why he wanted to continue it - he needed her. He needed her beside him, feeling her skin underneath his finger tips. But he didn't want to show how much he needed her, which is why he was so pushy but cocky before - covering for the fact he felt just as cheap and dirty as her, as well as just as terrified as her.

But Rae couldn't know that.

Rae thought he just wanted sex, wanted to manipulate her - just so he could get his fix. Rae could feel Finn's finger plucking on that string that kept her together, the one that stopped her from completely unraveling. It may have only been a fortnight, but it was enough - enough for realise that Rae wanted Finn... The realisation that she had been kidding herself far too long setting in.

It was Finn, it had always been Finn.


	30. Chapter 30

_He gave her that infamous Finn closed lip smile that she knew and loved far too much, he beamed as he extended his arms before wrapping his arms around her in a warm embrace; the fabric of her t-shirt a thin wall between his bare skin and her's. Rae grew stiff with the contact as she wasn't the hugging type, he then gave her smile once more as he pulled away before turning and jogging off to join the other lads._

Rae woke to the other side of the bed slightly sunken in and occupied; which Rae felt slightly disappointed with. She secretly hoped that Finn would have woken long before her and leave, but she was only kidding herself to have thought that - it was Finn. Finn always stayed. Rae huffed as she looked at him, unsure of what to do. She checked her Swatch to see it was just gone ten, meaning she would be meeting with Brian in two hours - Linda insisted on Rae having therapy twice a week, until Rae was feeling better and in a good frame of mind.

She then moved her gaze to the ceiling and thought the past few days over, the guilt heavy within her chest - but then the past year crossed her mind. Although Al had been a help and comfort to her, it didn't cover his behaviour of the past year - the kindness he displayed only covered a 16th of his dickhead-like behaviour. She needed Kester, she couldn't confess this to Brian - it was different. She just didn't feel the connection, but then again; she didn't feel it with Kester either - so she was going to have to give Brian a try.

Thoughts of today's session over took her mind and caused her to frown, Brian wanted her to bring her poetry book - she hoped he wouldn't want to read it... But then again, what use would it be to him if he didn't want to read it?

"Wha' y' thinkin' about?" Finn croaked from beside Rae, causing her gaze to fall onto him. His eyes were droopy and his lips were formed in a tired smile, half his face slightly squished as it rested sidewards upon his pillow. She shrugged, "Nowt", He then scoffed and jokingly quipped, "Bollocks", She rolled her eyes, "Piss off", The pair shared a small laugh before they grew silent. She then broke the silence by asking, "'Ow long y' been awake?" He shrugged, "'bout five minutes", And once again, silence.

"Well y' can't read it", Rae snapped, worry in her tone. A sense of de ja vu over came Rae from when she first met Kester, when he asked about her diary. Except with Kester, he didn't want to read it - until he gained her trust - but with Brian; Brian wanted to read her poetry book - in which Rae wasn't quite ready to do. Brian sighed, "Look, I know it's hard, Rae. I know you're not good with trusting people but this is an exercise an-" "And exercise to stress me out? Well, y've done it", Brian couldn't help but scoff a laugh but Rae remained neutral.

Rae clutched the notebook to her chest, like a mother bear would do with her cubs. Brian replicated her pose, leaned back into his chair with his arms folded - body language important when it came down to scenarios such as this. She then thought that maybe letting him read just her latest poem wouldn't be so bad... But what if he decided to read the whole lot before Rae could snatch it back?

As if he had read her mind, he unfolded his arms and became open with his stance, "Tell you what, how about I read just your most recent poem? None of the others", She considered it for a moment longer, before asking, "Tha's it? Just tha' one?" "Just that one", He then gave her a reasurring smile, but she was still unsure. After a moment or two passed, Rae then rolled her eyes, opened the notebook to the last page she wrote on, slid it across the coffee table and sat back; folding her arms.

She may have looked calm when it came down to the way she presented herself, but her eyes gave her away - constantly jumping from him to the book over and over. Her fingers twitched and she could feel her heart rattle within her rib cage as each silent moment passed - her heart skipped when she saw a frown grace his forehead and his fingers edging towards the corner of the paper to turn it. She then bellowed, "Wha' y' doin'?" He then spoke, his frown not leaving his forehead and his eyes not leaving the lined paper, "Rae, there's another poem on the other side", It was her turn to frown, he looked up; his features soft but still locked in confusion, "There's another... On the other side", He then flicked the page over and held it up, proving that he wasn't bullshitting.

"It's not mine", She said after a long pause, he pouted his bottom lip - he was just as clueless as she. He then turned his attention back to the page and scanned it, after another silence he then exhaled before speaking; not looking up, "Do you have any clue of who could've wrote it?" She then scrambled those files within her brain, but came back empty-handed. She then shook her head slowly, still trying to work it out, "No, not anyone I can think of", He then looked up and closed the book, sliding it back, "Maybe you can have a look when you go home, or maybe ask your friends. I think it's important you find out who it is", She cocked an eyebrow as she reached for the book and picked it up from the table, sitting back when she did so, "Why?" She crossed his foot across the opposite knee as he also sat back, "I think it's best you find out for yourself".

Brian then did that stupid stare he always did, almost as if his stare were his fingers and they were picking through her brain - the stare that made Rae suddenly fidget and unable to sit still. She then glanced outside, it wasn't the nicest of mornings as a light drizzle and fog coated Stamford - like a smog blanket. Rae couldn't help but think over when Rae and Izzy went for Izzy's first scan not too long ago, the weather similar to this;

_The girls arrived to the clinic ten minutes before Izzy's appointment. The inside was all formal, old magazines and the smell of anti-septic. The colours of the room were grey, white, black and royal blue. The girls sat side by side on the royal blue tweed chairs in the waiting room, earning a judgemental glance from the middle-aged and overweight receptionist from over the main desk. The room was quiet and only had them two and the woman behind the desk within the room. _

_"Iz, listen I was thinkin'-" "Don't do tha', s'dangerous", Izzy jokingly quipped. Rae gave Izzy a playful look; in which Izzy giggled at. Rae then continued, "Like I were sayin', y' want me t' stay over tonight? As I know Chop's at work till late and well I don't want y' to feel as if y' on y' own and we could like get in loads of films and yeh", Rae asked, awkwardly. Izzy then smiled, humbled and touched by her friend's gesture. She then asked, her eyebrows angling in multiple positions, "If y' sure, I don't want to be a burden and make y' feel as if y' have to look after me", Rae swatted her hand at Izzy, "Oh don't be so silly! I'm happy t' do it, if I wasn't then I wouldn't have offered would I, soft girl!" Izzy giggled, "True, true and listen I just wanted to say thank y, y'know, for doing this... It really does mean a lot", Rae gave Izzy a soft smile, "It's alright, as I know y'd do the same", Izzy nodded in agreement before Rae groaned, "God, we're so sappy!" And the pair shared a giggle._

_The two grew silent and from the corner of her eye, Rae could see Izzy's eyes cloud over in worry, which Rae couldn't help but ask, "Are y' sure y' wanna do this, Iz?" Izzy thought about it before exhaling a deep breath and nodding, "I need t'", "Y' don't __**need **__to do anythin', Izzy. Really, it's y' choice and y' do what y' feels right", Izzy looked at Rae, a small and amused smile upon her lips as she sarcastically quipped, "Now y' tell me", Rae couldn't help but laugh, before then turning serious once more, "But seriously, Izzy. Y' don't 'ave t' do this, y' can-" Izzy then butted in, "I have t', Rae. No matter how much I don't want t', I have t'. I mean, I know it's big, huge even but am ready and so is Chop. I know it's scary and I know am young but I am ready and I'm gonna do this and we're gonna 'ave this baby an' tha's tha'", Rae, feeling sorry for Izzy, nodded before linking her arm with Izzy's and resting her head on Izzy's shoulder which caused Izzy to rest her cheek on top of Rae's head._

_God, Izzy was brave; Rae thought. Never would Rae have been able to do this, any of this and keep it all together. One thing Izzy never failed to amaze Rae with, was her ability to keep it together; especially with things Rae would crumble at the mere mention of. Rae knew Izzy was a lot more stronger and brighter than people gave her credit for, they all just thought Izzy was a hippy who floated her way through life and lived on happy thoughts and candy floss._

_Well, maybe not the last bit._

_"Isabelle Louise Jones", A nurse called out. Rae and Izzy lifted their heads, before they shared a look. Rae unlinked their arms, gave Izzy knee a gentle squeeze the pair rose to their feet and followed the nurse out the room - God bless Izzy's little soul._

Rae left therapy muddled and in a daze, she decided a fix of sweets and a can of coke was needed. She went to the woolworths on Green Lane and headed for The Rutlands, taking a seat upon the bench that sat underneath her favourite thinking tree - despite her nipples were about to fall off and her arse was growing numb from the coldness of the wooden bench.

Rae placed her backpack upon the bench beside her, pulling out her notebook as she balanced her white paperbag of sweets and 50p can of coke upon her lap. Once she dug the notebook out, she took a large cola bottle sweet out of her sweet mix and began chewing; before she opened the book to the page of the mysterious poem that she ached to read. She recognised the scrawl and poor spelling almost instantly.

It belonged to Finn.

Although Finn was dyslexic, she could make it what he had written... Just about;

_Words never come easy to me, especially at 5:30 in the morning._

_Your name on the tip of my tongue, as you sleep peacefully beside me and liquid courage_

_flows through my blood._

_Is too early to be high and drunk? _

_They come out in flashes, the memories we've made._

_I've never been one for conversation, but I can't seem to shut up these days._

_I guess goodbyes become more easy, before sunrise._

_Who would've thought a kiss, would burn more than stars at night. _

_It doesn't hurt as much, when you are with he; as now you are mine_

_and there's whiskey. _

_I grow tired of your side of the bed being empty, maybe you'll find it in you_

_to forgive me for not saying it sooner - or saying it like this._

_It doesn't really matter when we fight, as long as you are still with me at night. _

_I can't help but wonder, when you are awake if you're floating between sleep and reality. _

_If you're thinking of me right now, don't open your eyes; continue dreaming about me tonight._

_I just want to know, what have I done to deserve you. _

_But you can't love me and I understand because..._

_I can't love me too._

Rae then slowly lowered the book and stared outwards into the fielding, swallowing the sudden heartache within her chest - she felt awful. She didn't realise he felt like... Like that. Surely he wanted her to find this, wanted her to see the poem - otherwise he wouldn't have left it there. She then tried to think of when he could've wrote it, not last night as he fell asleep before she did... Or did he? No, he must've done. She would've heard him move from the bed as Rae was a light sleeper and he always would wake her whenever he would move in his sleep.

But whenever Rae was sad, really sad; she could sleep through an earthquake and as if she had taken dozens of sleeping tablets. One thing Rae just couldn't figure out was why had Finn left the poem in such an easy place for her to see... Well, judging by the way it was half-torn out of the book; he didn't mean to leave it in. Rae guessed Finn had intended to rip it out of the book, but then she must've moved and in a moment of panic; he chucked it on the floor and pretended to be asleep - as that would explain Rae finding her notebook on the floor of Finn's/Al's side of the bed this morning.

If this was all true, then call Rae the new Sherlock Holmes.

As if alarm bells went off in her head, Rae grew pale as the fact that Finn wrote after her most recent poem aka he must've gone through her poems and seen the ones about him, Al, her self hatred, and everything in between; and all Rae could say was;

"Oh fu...ck".

Finn let out a laugh as he rolled a cig, Chop had told another one of his infamous stories as he worked under the hood of a car. Much to Finn's displeasure, one of the lads had asked Finn to take over on his shift as the lad had a funeral to attend to. But, luckily for Finn, Chop was also working that shift.

All morning Finn had felt nothing but happiness, despite the grey skies and it being an early morning shift; Finn could get used to being like this. He had a full pouch of tobacco along with skins, one of his best mates by his side, Rae's lips still lingering upon his own and skin, there was peace between him and Chloe and Chop had asked him to be the Godfather to his and Izzy's little one.

When Chop had asked, Finn was delighted but couldn't help but throw in that Chop was planning a little too early for all that but Chop brushed it off before then showing Finn the first sonogram as last time he and Chop saw each other - Chop didn't have time. But Finn was unsure whether seeing the sonogram was good or a bad thing, as he secretly was jealous. He was jealous that the couple weren't exactly thrilled over it, just blissfully happy as where Finn ached for a baby - a baby with Chloe that is. Yes, even with secretly sleeping with Rae; he still wanted children with Chloe. The sadness sat heavily upon his chest, like a curled up cat nestled into it's own tail. As he stared at that small square black, grey and white picture in his hands; delicately holding it with care - he couldn't help but imagine that little dot to be his. Finn couldn't help but grow a sudden attatchment to the little one, how could something so small mean so much? He could only imagine what it would feel like to have that... Have that responsibility and love for the little, tiny stranger. Before Finn grew too wrapped up in what could be, he handed over the sonogram and jokingly quipped, "Ay, mate, s'got y' black and white lines", In which the lads shared a laugh.

It was getting to just past half five and the sun had long gone down, a chill wrapped itself around the boys and the garage - like an icy blanket. It was nearing to closing time and Chop was finishing his final chore for the day, Finn already long finished his but had to wait as it was Uncle Al's orders. Finn was sat on a crate whilst Chop messed around under the hood of a navy blue 1968 ford mustang GT Cobra - Finn's dream car. Chop then randomly piped up, "Ay, did y'know tha' a baby 'as fingernails by eleven weeks?" Finn then frowned, "Fingernails?" Chop then came out from underneath the hood to get a wrench before going back under, "Yeh, read it in some baby book other day", In which Finn let out an amused scoff before asking, amusement twinkling in his eyes, "Ay, reckon it could scratch it's way outta Izzy's downstairs?" Chop then came out from under the hood, "No, don't, I 'ad a proper nightmare 'bout it", In which Finn paused, reading Chop's expression before asking, holding back a laugh, "Y' serious?" Chop nodded, "Like, mate it proper army crawled out", Finn couldn't hold it in and let out a howl of laughter, before his laughter became soundless and all he could do was clap; like a seal.

After a playful kick from Chop and Finn's laughter slowly but surely came to a stop, Chop finished and the boys were let off work early. As Izzy was staying in her sister's that night, Chop decided to pop round to Finn's to show Chloe the scan. The boys decided to pick up a chippy dinner on their way home as they needed their fix of fish and chips, before they ventured to Finn's flat. As they made their way up the block of flat stairs, they grew into the conversation of how well United were doing in the league. Their conversation came to a halt as they entered the flat to hear the television and a conversation.

The two moved through the flat and entered the kitchen, to put the dinners out - when they walked in to see Chloe, Brogan and Archie at the dinner table. The three turned to the two boys, mid-conversation. Chloe beamed, as did Archie and Brogan - Brogan's smile a little more shy than happy. Chloe then spoke up, "Were wonderin' when y' were gonna get 'ome", Finn didn't want to seem rude but he had to admit, Brogan's presence made him feel slightly uncomfortable as Finn wasn't one for welcoming outsiders. So, to not seem like a complete prick he gave Archie and Brogan a head nod before saying, "We got chippy but didn't know tha' Arch and Brogan were gonna be 'ere, otherwise we would've got some for everyone", Archie shrugged, "Nah, it's sound. I'll just rob y' chips", In which Finn scoffed jokingly, "Get to fuck", He then turned to Chop, handing over the white plastic bag that contained his and Chloe's dinners, "Put tha' out for us, man", In which Chop begrudgingly did so.

Chop turned, walking backwards into the kitchen as he spoke, "Oh and Chlo, got the scan 'ere!" In which she beamed, "I'll 'ave a look in a sec", Chop nodded an ok before turning to the kitchen, Archie then piped up, "Ooh, gis a look, Chop!" Chloe turned to Finn, who had now slid his hands and linked them at the lower of Chloe's back, her hands snaked to his chest and began playing with the fur collar of his denim jacket. He gave her a soft smile, asking, "Y' alright?" She nodded, "Yeh, sorry I didn't tell y' about Brogan and Archie comin' over but didn't know wha' time y' were gonna be 'ome and I didn't wanna be on me own", He nodded slowly, "Fair enough, y' 'ungry?" "Fuckin' starvin'", He rolled his eyes, "I sometimes wonder 'ow y' so skinny with the amount of shit y' eat".

When Chloe saw the scan she wore the exact same expression Finn wore when he first saw it - distant with a hint of faux happiness. Obviously Chloe was piss herself happy for the couple, as was everyone else, but she - like Finn - felt that same swallowing sadness. But the sadness past as she handed over the sonogram and Chop's proud demeanour was displayed before her; enough to stop the sadness from swallowing her whole. Whilst the couple laid in bed that night, Finn slept as where Chloe was unable to drift off.

She then turned her gaze from her bedside table and over to Finn, she always wondered how he fell asleep so easily; when he worried just as much as she - she envied him in a way. Her eyes drifted from his close eyelids down past his nose to his parted lips as light snores were sung before down his jaw and her eyes paused at his neck... Although it was dark, it was still apparent; small but velvet with a yellow tinge. A love bite, a perfectly formed love bite. How had she not seen it before? But more importantly; why didn't it break her heart?

Because she was cheating too.


	31. Chapter 31 - So tha's it?

"Rae... Rae, are you even listening?" Spoke a voice, breaking Rae out of her thoughts; in which she responded with a simple but stiff nod in reply - not breaking eye contact with a wall of the therapy room. Brian sighed with impaitence before asking, "Your mum has told me you're not sleeping again... Do you know why that could be?" He questioned, in which Rae slowly landed her gaze upon Brian and stared as if he were transparent but mustered up enough energy to shake her head - her reaction slow but enough.

Rae was exhausted, truth be told. So exhausted she could barely mutter a sentence. Brian took in Rae's distant stare and mentally came to terms with the fact he was barely going to get anything out of her this session - but he needed more. Brian needed to explore her mind. He needed to see why she was so tired. It had been five days since her last session with Brian, but two months since she read Finn's poem - a poem she had yet to discuss. If Rae was being honest, Finn's poem had been the last of her worries - always in the back of her mind but never a main priority. See, how Rae's brain worked is that she had boxes - mind boxes. Each box in numbers between 1 - 10... 1 her main focus and then 10 was something that could be dealt with later - Finn's poem currently in box number 8 aka important but slowly becoming less of an urgent situation.

Brian rubbed his chin as he did his usual stare, almost as if her problems and thoughts were written upon her forehead. He leaned back from his open and forward stance, in which he then asked, "How's Chloe?" Rae shrugged, "S'alright, don't see 'er much lately", Brian frowned, "Why's tha'?" She shrugged, "She's got Finn and y' don't really mates when y've got a boyfriend, d'y'", Her words helping her feel that familiar sense of de ja vu, from a session with Kester two years ago; when Chloe was secretly shagging their PE teacher - oh good ol' Mr. Carrisford. Brian pouted with a frown as he glanced sidewards before slowly landing his gaze back onto Rae, "That's not always the case as you've got Al and you still make time for everybody", Rae scoffed, "Yeh, well am not Chloe and I don't need a pair of balls t' function", Brian couldn't help but grin - despite Rae being completely drained; her humour was still in full, sarcastic form.

It then grew silent and Rae no longer felt like speaking, her tiredness completely turned her into a comatosed shell that walked - too numb to bother. She wasn't sad, depressed or anything dark; just tired. She never realised how much could change in two months, then again; even within one hour a lot could happen. This affair was taking over her life, completely. Now, she wasn't complaining but she wasn't exactly riddled with joy - constantly on the fence. To some, an almost three month affair may have not seemed long - but it was growing to enough for Rae. Admittedly, Rae just wanted it to be her and Finn - she wanted all of this sneaking around and lying to vanish.

Ronnie Kray once wrote _'I believe we are all just like actors on a stage. We are each given parts to play, and we have to play them to the best of our ability. We may not like the role we have been given, but we musn't grumble about it; it is not up to us to question the part that has been given us. Look around, you will find there are people with worse parts to play, and others with better parts. But we must see it through to the end, to the evening of life, until the sun goes down - and hope for a worthy ovation. We must consider other actors on the stage, our friends and the people we love. Even the people we hate. We must not take for granted the good things about ourselves that God has given us, and the beauty of the things around us for all of us to see. There is none so blind as those who will not see, and none so deaf as those who will not hear.' _And it was also once of Finn's favourite ever quotes from any book that were ever written, and Rae could never understand why. No matter how many times she tried to understand it, she just couldn't grasp why Finn was so in love with "Such bollocks." As she thought Finn was so shallow - despite knowing he could be quite a sensitive lad - and quite a boring fella. But over this affair, she grew to know Finn more than all the years she had known him - she grew closer, saw parts she never noticed earlier. And as those five weeks were growing to six; the more each sentence made sense.

Brian studied Rae's vague and blank expression as she stared out of the large window on her right; her eyes slowly following a raindrop as it slithered down the shining and drenched glass. Rae couldn't understand why people always linked rain to sadness, maybe the media and all the film portrayalsof girls weeping into lacy hankerchiefs whilst moping on a window seat as the rain came down heavily added to that. But Rae never felt sad when she watched the rain or whenever it would beat against her or Finn's bedroom window of a night - in fact it helped her sleep. Another person that could never quite understand how people could hate it so much was Finn, he couldn't understand why people took such a dislike to the wet weather when they never really paid attention to it and as cringy as it sounded - it was what made Finn love it so much. Because it was very much a resemblance to Rae; it truly was a beautiful thing but hidden by a sad and miserable demeanour - that nobody took time to appreciate it.

Speaking of Finn, he was doing a slightly similiar thing to Rae - sitting on his window seat in his bedroom and watching the rain. Well, he wasn't completely watching the rain but he was being a poetry wanker and doing some song writing whilst messing about on his acoustic - a present for his fifteenth from his deceased mother. He was messing about with chords and words, but unable to focus on what he was actually writing - his brain unable to focus on the lyrics coming from his mouth and pouring onto paper.

A frustrated huff came from his lips. He went over the lyrics he had scribbled down and sat back as his fingers took place on the E chord; before he began to sing;

_(AN: I know this isn't written by me and is in fact two Arctic Monkeys songs put together - even though I have slightly changed the lyrics to fit the situation - but for the sake of trying think that I am a lyrical genius; pretend Finn wrote this.)_

_I'm not the kind of fool who's gonna sit and sing to you, about __stars__, girl. But last night I looked up into the dark half of the __blue__, and they'd gone backwards. _  
_Something in your magnetism must have pissed them off, _  
_forcing them to get an early night and when you say that you need me tonight _  
_I can't keep my feelings in disguise, the white parts of my eyeballs illuminate. _  
_And I'll wait for you, as if I'm waiting for a stone to stop _  
_I've heard you talking, about how you're gonna put me off... _

He then scoffed and shook his head as he lifted his guitar from his lap and leaned it against the window seat, sitting it gently upon the floor. He swung his legs round and hunched slightly over as he rested his elbows upon his knees before putting his face within his hands and exhaling, he then rose to his feet and decided a cup of tea was needed, that and a rollie. His wandered through the flat and entered the living room, pausing in the doorway as he saw a figure upon his couch - which then clicked the memory of him giving a key to Rae three weeks back. A help to the sneaking around.

Although they'd been in this seedy fling for almost three months; they hadn't really saw much of each other and truth be told the last time they had actually saw each other and spent time together was just under a week ago - and they both had to admit their presence of one another was deeply missed. Even just being in the same room was a comfort to the other. Finn frowned and slightly tilted his head as he took in her posture, the way it was so slumped; her hands within her lap palm up and open. Her face was neutral but her eyes were busy. Finn felt his chest tighten, almost as if his feelings were moulded together in a playdoh ball and plastered within his chest - clogging it up and making it hard for him to breathe. Not that he could let her know that, as she would probably piss herself with laughter.

Without a word, he timidly moved over to her and stood before her; before extending a gentle hand in front of her with his palm open and gesturing for her to take it...

And she did so.

Rae had to admit; the sole purpose behind her going round Finn's was to call it off but every time Rae would go round to call it off, Finn would give her one look and Rae's original intentions would go right out the window. Neither of them could stop, they really couldn't - too far into it. Rae was completely hooked but her thoughts and urges swallowing her, eating her alive, drowning her and crushing every happy thought she had ever thought.

The pair laid in his dimly lit room as it grew to just past six in the evening and the sun was long set, their limbs tangled. She laid on her side as where he laid upon his back, one arm behind his head and the other resting across his stomach. The low drones of The Smiths lulled from Finn's record player and hummed softly throughout the room. Rae stared blankly ahead, her eyes vacant but focused upon the same spot on Finn's off-white walls. He was unsure of what to do, his arms invisibly sewn to the pillow and his stomach and felt as if they were too heavy for him to lift and wrap around her body. As the pair laid side by side and staring ahead; they laid in silence.

She was the first to break the silence as she croaked in an almost whisper, "Wha' are we even doin' Finn?" He then turned his head slowly to look at her, forcing his eyes to glue themselves to the back of her head. He asked himself that very same question almost every moment he got the chance, he didn't have the answer... No matter how many times his cocky demeanour blagged he knew what he was doing - he was secretly just as clueless as her and his ability to unable to find an answer kept him quiet.

Finn couldn't help but think back to two weeks back, when Rae almost called it off... again.

_They sat in his bedroom. He sat on his ratted and worn out old ottoman that he inherited from his mother who left it in her will in which it was placed at the end of the bed, he wore just simple PJ bottoms and had a cigarette placed carelessly between his two long and slender fingers. He sat with his elbows on his knees, his head slightly downwards and his upper body slightly hunched. She sat on the window seat with nothing but a pair of PJ bottoms and his plaid shirt loosely buttoned up and hugging her frame, she watched his every move intently and carefully as if he were a complete stranger. They sat in silence, the only sound to be heard were his drags and exhales of his cigarette every now and again._

"_Thought y' were going to quit", She sarcastically quipped, breaking the silence that hung heavily within the room. "I was, until y' came over", He retorted just as sarcastic with a little scoff before rubbing a small circle on his forehead with his thumb. There was another long silence. Neither of them knew what to say, then again they never did anymore. "We can't keep doing this, Finn", "I know, Rae", He said softly after a short pause, his tone cracking with emotion as he spoke her name; as if it were the last time he would be. _

_Now, usually when Rae would tell him that this was the last time they would sleep with each other; he'd scoff and shrug it off with a sarcastic comment as he knew she'd come back because she always came back. But now, he knew she meant it and the thought of him losing her more quicker than he expected was now setting in and the feeling made his chest grow tighter with every passing second. _

_She chewed her bottom lip in worry, not realizing how hard she had bitten because she could suddenly taste the familiar metallic taste. "I don't want to lose ya, Finn", She timidly said, her voice quivered as she tried not to cry. She hated crying, especially in front of Finn as she knew he'd see her as vulnerable and use it to take advantage… Well, so she thought. "And y' won't", He snapped back, still not looking at her. What she asked next completely threw him._

"_How do y' know?" _

_The room grew silent, after a long pause he turned to her with a look she had never seen before in all her eighteen years of knowing him. It was a look of insecurity and vulnerability. Although the room was dim, she could make out the faint glisten of tears brimming his eyes. "I don't know, but what I do is tha' although ya my best friend's girlfriend, y' still my best friend. Mine, no fuckin' wha' and no one will change that. Not 'im, not Chloe and certainly not me or y'. Do y' understand that?" He tried to sound stern but his voice wavered before he roughly wiped two stray tears that travelled down his cheeks. She nodded, he then held out an arm and gestured her over. She took no hesitation into climbing onto the bed beside him, snuggling her head into the crook of his neck, and curled herself into him. He cradled her back with his left arm, carefully trying not to catch her with his cigarette. This, it felt so natural and so right. But, yet they knew it was wrong, even though neither wanted to admit it._

_It was moments like this that made the sneaking around and the lying worth it, he made it worth it; as cheesy and toe curling as it sounded. After the long hours of the day that they would spend, pretending; coming back to his or her place at night made it all worth it. Rae let out a sigh, she slipped her arms softly around his torso. He took this as a cue to tighten his hold around her, like a child's safety blanket. _

_Suddenly, he then remembered why he was here with her in the first place. Once again the realization that he was possibly going to lose her was quickly setting in; something that he hoped wouldn't approach so fast. He tried to swallow the harsh lump in his throat, but it was no use. The walls were getting tighter by the second as his emotions swelled to boiling point; eyes welling uncontrollably. No matter what his mind told him, his heart was winning. It was Rae he loved, it always had been. Unable to fight his feelings any longer, he buried his face into her hair and mumbled "I promise this will be all over soon and then it'll be me and y', kid", His voice quivered slightly, he took a deep breath; trying to calm his wave of sadness._

_She moved her head from his neck and looked up at him, before whispering "Can I keep ya then?" He slowly looked down at her, his bedside lamp was the only source of light; but it was enough for her to make out the soft smile on his lips and the gentle expression upon his face. He nodded, which caused her to break out into a face eating grin. "And to prove that I mean it, I want to show ya summat", He untucked his left arm from around her and held it out; revealing two tattoos around his wrist. Her brow knitted, why on earth was he showing her his tattoos; its not like she hadn't seen them before… "Finn, I've seen them before y'know", He smirked slightly "Look closer at the padlock", She sat up and closely peaked at the small padlock drawn on his arm, just above his wrist. She then grabbed it and pulled it to her face, gasping inwardly. No… That can't be real… He had gotten the keyhole in the shape of an "R". _

_"Finn I… Y'… I don't know whether to laugh or cry". He laughed a little "Not the reaction I was hoping for, but at least y' didn't slap me or tell I'm stupid", She scoffed, shocked. "No I… I don't even know how to react, fucking hell". She spoke, slightly dazed. She couldn't believe it, he actually had got a tattoo for her. He actually belonged to her…. Finally. But the thing that shocked Finn the most, was how short they'd been together but yet how easily he'd given her his heart._

The memory still burned in his brain and kept him awake at night. He hadn't realised he was staring back at the ceiling, until Rae sat upright; causing Finn to turn his head to her. He watched as she swung her legs from the bed and began to put on her Converse, once she was finished he turned his gaze back to the ceiling and croaked, "So tha's it?" He then squeezed his eyes shut and inwardly winced as she softly said after a long pause, "Tha's it", Another moment passed before Rae then spoke, her voice in an almost whisper; as if it pained her to speak, "Am sorry," She then scurried out, tail between her legs.

Finn squeezed his hand, loosened it before then squeezing it again as he felt the tears brim his eyes, the anger and hurt making his hands twitch; giving him the urge to lash out. He began huffing, refusing to cry as he chewed the inside of his cheek; his chest and heart tightening as Rae's last words echoed in his head and her perfume faintly wafting around the room. When the sound of the front door opening and closing was to be heard, Finn sat up right. He swung his legs off the bed and began to pace, unable to place himself and keep still.

The anger began building before all he could see was red and he slammed his fist into his wardrobe door before he turned, sliding down the wardrobe and hitting the floor with a thud. He bent his knees to his chest and rested his arms upon them before he began to sob, pulling at his hair and huffing; trying his best to not completely let it all out through crying. He hated crying, ever since Finn was a child he had never cried but instead hit himself, pinched himself, pulled his hair until his scalp ached and destroyed everything in sight. He hated crying, couldn't bare it. He didn't mind when other people cried but not himself, it came from when he was younger and his dad used to smack him whenever he cried, scolding him and telling him to man up.

Rae's words and his own twisted thoughts lowly replayed in his mind, like a broken record of torment. Before they began to get louder and he smacked at his head, a way of trying to shake them out of his mind. He sniffed before pulling harder at his hair and smacking his head sideways as he screamed at nothing through a choked sob and gritted teeth, "Shut up!" The voices and thoughts grew louder and louder, he threw his head back and whacked it against the wardrobe door; a sickening thud echoed off the bedroom walls. He was now sobbing, whimpering and screaming as he pulling at his own hair, punched himself and wriggled as he couldn't sit still. He rocked slightly as he cried, "She doesn't love me", Over and over; he pulled at his T-shirt as his skin felt itchy and on fire.

He then linked his hands to the back of his head as he bowed his head downwards, another sob left his lips as he choked out, "I need 'er, she can't do this! She can't... She can't do this", The last few words more softly spoken then the others. He then unlinked his hands and rested his arms onto his knees before he looked to his right and out the window, shaking his head as more thick tears spilled from his eyes and streamed down his cheeks. The sounds of his sobs bouncing off the walls to be the only sound, leaving Finn, The Smiths and his thoughts alone. Through his blurred vision, Finn looked over at the record player as the lyrics made his chest tight;

_I know it's over and it never really began, but in my heart it was so real..._


	32. Chapter 32

She found him lying in bed hugging the covers tightly to his lips as he tried to muffle his broken hearted sobs, the soft cotton soaked from his tears. So this is how heartbreak looked. Chloe leaned sidewards against the door frame as she watched him, watch as his shoulders shook with his each sob and she knew, knew deep down it was all down to Rae - then again when was his sadness never to do with Rae. She then inwardly sighed, unfolding her arms as she made her way over to the record player, lifting the needle from the record and sliding it sidewards - the only noise to be then heard were Finn's soft sobs. Chloe then slowly moved her way over to the empty side of the bed, lifting up the covers and sliding in; turning on her side and facing his back. She slid one hand under the pillow before her other draped over Finn, collecting both of his hands into her own. She then lifted her head and kissed his shoulder before lowering her head back onto the pillow, nestling her head into the soft and cool texture; trying to ignore the faint smell of Rae's perfume and apple shampoo.

Although Finn was grateful for Chloe's comfort, she still wasn't Rae. Who was Finn kidding, he didn't love Chloe and he was stupid to have thought so. All that wanting kids with her and loving her was a cover, a cover for how he truly felt. Now, obviously he did feel something for Chloe but it didn't effect him like it did with Rae. But the reason he didn't drop everything with Chloe and be with Rae is because of how quick Rae could've changed her mind, just like earlier, as where Chloe was there for definite - he liked the stability. Finn liked knowing what was going on, what was happening - he didn't like losing grip of reality or the reins of the situation. Finn wanted everything with Rae; kids, a nice house with a royal blue door and a white porch with pastel coloured flower beds on the front lawn, the late drunken nights sloppily and slowly dancing to old records in the living room because they could and because they were happy. He wanted the home and feeling of acceptance he craved since he was a kid.

But in reality, his comfort came with raven hair and didn't want him back. Finn had tried and he had cared but that wasn't enough.

Speaking of Rae, she was in a complete daze and somehow her feet had a mind of their own and found their way to outside Chop's. She gave the door three knocks before waiting, dragging her bottom lip between her teeth as each second passed - before the door then swung open to reveal Archie. What the hell was he doing there? He gave a confused smile as he breathed, "Rae?" She then hiccuped a sob before she whimpered, "Is Iz-" She then cleared her throat, "Is Izzy in?" But her voice still wavered. Archie then nodded, "Yeh she's-" He cut himself off as he studied her saddned and glazed over eyes before he asked, "Rae, wha's 'appened?" Which caused something to kick at Rae's chest, her eyes flickered as she could feel the tears begin to fill up on her eyes. She looked to her left, trying to not show Archie her sudden sadness. She exhaled before looking towards the ground and shook her head, then looked up and tried to muster a smile, "I just really need to see Izzy", Her voice came out in an almost whisper. He then moved forward, placing a hand on each of her arm and boring his eyes into her's, "Rae?"

And with that, she crumbled. In which he said nothing but pulled her into his embrace, whispering words of comfort into her hair.

With Finn's permission, Chloe left for a party that night. She entered her friend Louise's – a girl who was always known for her ridiculous parties – And loved it the minute she walked in. Men, alcohol, good music and friends. Nothing better. She must've been there for no longer than half an hour and she was soon smashed, high and happy.

She let the music and alcohol pulse through her veins, giving her that release and endorphins she needed, wanted and craved. Sweat glistened her forehead as she danced in the sea of people, bodies meshed, smiles were shared and music corrupted their minds – along with weed, alcohol and other drugs. Chloe just stuck to weed, acid and drink, not really caring for other drugs. As the beats of the house and rave music controlled her, she couldn't help but feel eyes on her. Unsure of who the stared belonged to, she simply brushed it away and continue to feel the the hypnotic trance of the music.

She wore Finn's old and worn oversized Rolling Stones tee that came to mid-thigh with just a pair of black boots and it soon became like a second skin and stuck to her due to sweat, she suddenly paused as the familiar beats of Insomnia by Faithless suddenly overcame the other bouncy beat - she couldn't help but suddenly feel a shortage of breath. She never liked this song anymore, not since the night of the rave - when she realised her feelings for Finn after seeing him and Rae linking; the moment Chloe realised how much Rae and Finn suited and how she couldn't have Rae having one over her. As the bass pounded in her ears and the trance-like state everybody danced in, she couldn't help but feel trapped; as if in an invisible cage - suddenly making her aware of how close everybody was. Flashes of when she kissed Finn that night and how he pushed her away, screaming 'Wha' are y' doin'?!" In her face suddenly flickered in front of her - like the blinding strobe lights that flickered around the room like shattered glass.

She needed air and took this as a cue to excuse herself and make a swift exit for the back garden. As soon as she step foot outside, the hairs on the back of her neck rose due to the rapid drop in temperature.

Chloe then, clumsily, sat down against the brick of the house and upon the damp concrete floor. The familiar beats of the well known tune, drugs, drink and her recent waves of sadness - Chloe couldn't help but become wrapped up in the memory of the rave.

_"Finn!?" She called out as she saw a blur of white and flashing colours whizz past her. She wove in-n-out of the crowd as she followed the back of Finn's head, she then grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back; spinning him round to face her - feeling her stomach knot as she took in his face. Tears brimmed his eyes and a frown knitted his brown together in anger as his face contorted. She took a turn to frown as she shouted over the music, "Finn!? Wha's wrong!? Y' alright?!" He then leaned in and shouted in her ear, "Yeh! Just need some air!" He went to walk off, once more, when she took his wrist and spun him back round once more. He glanced a frown from his wrist back to her face, but she shrugged his hostility away as she leaned in and shouted in his ear, "Can I talk t' y' a sec?!" In which he shouted back, "Can it wait till later it's just I-" In which she butted in, "I promise it'll only be a minute!" He then pulled slightly back to take in her face, his eyes searching her's before his expression softened and she it took as a cue to continue. She dragged her bottom lip between her teeth as she sighed, trying to find the words. He then shrugged and asked, "Wha'?" His words coming out soundless as the boom of the bass covered all other noise that wasn't shouted. She then shouted, "Fuck it!" And grabbed his face, pulling him in and landing a kiss upon his lips. She tried to slip her tongue in, when he pulled away and shoved her slightly before roaring in her face, "Wha' the fuck are y' doin'?! Are y' thick or summat!?" But before she could respond, he shook his head and stalked off; disappearing into the ever expanding crowd. _

"Was wonderin' when y' were gonna get 'ere", Quipped Al, pulling Chloe back to reality. Chloe drunkenly giggled as Al stumbled and then sat beside her with a thud, "Maaaaate! I'm so fucked", Al slurred and lolled his head forward, sloppily smacking his palm against his face. In which Chloe giggled and slurred "Y' so drunk", Al lifted his head, scrunched his nose and laughed, "So are youuuu!" Chloe scoffed, "I, yes me, is sober".

"Y' spoken t' Rae?" Al slurred, in which Chloe paused as she tried not to let her sadness appear in her tone; forcing a nod and a smile, "Yeh, I called 'er earlier and we only spoke for five minutes and yeh", Her voice grew quieter with each word, before she became mute. Al being Al was oblvious to Chloe's sudden jealousy and more focused on how the oversized t-shirt barely covered her thighs. A moment or two passed before Chloe asked, her voice timid and slurred, "'Ave... 'Ave y' told Rae yet?" He frowned and looked at her, exhaling some smoke as he questioned, "Told 'er wha'?" Chloe rolled her eyes, "Don't play dim", He then gave her a look, showing he wasn't playing. She then scoffed, breaking eye contact as she looked ahead, "Typical", He then clicked on and rolled his eyes, "Chlo, if y' talkin' about me tellin' Rae about us then no. I 'aven't", "An' why not?" She snapped. He rubbed his eye with his thumb, trying not to burn his nose with his spliff whilst squeezing his eyes shut - he could feel a headache coming on. He then sighed as he looked ahead, "It's complicated, alright?" She glared, "'Ow?! I love y', y' love me and c'mon we both know she loves Fi-" He sharply looked at her, fire in his eyes, "No, she doesn't. She loves me and tha's why it's complicated", He and Chloe glowered at each other for a moment before she folded her arms and broke the eye contact as she looked away, softly scoffing, "Wha'ever".

He kept his stare on her a moment longer before turning his gaze onto the back garden before them both. A long silence washed over them both before Al flicked the remainders of his spliff away and exhaling, "Look, Chlo, I know 'ow 'ard it is as it's been months and I know we should be together but right now it's just...", His voice faded as he failed to find the words. She then awaited for him to continue his sentence and once the realisation that he wasn't going to; Chloe grew angry. Her following sentence came out, like word vomit, "Y' tell Rae otherwise I will", She then rose to her feet - suddenly sober - and went to go back inside, when he caught her wrist harshly and pulled her back. A crocodile smile upon his lips and a menancing glint in his eyes, "I don't think y' wanna tell Rae, babes. Look, I love y' very much and I just wouldn't want y' t' make a fool of y'self. Just leave it t' me yeh?" "But I-" "I said leave it t' me, Chloe", He pressed. Not wanting to cause an argument, she gave him a tight lip smile and a head nod; tucking a strand of hair behind her ear - trying to ignore the fact her wrist was under such a harsh grip. She went to walk back inside, when he pulled her back; once more, "Ah, kiss first", She then exhaled before bending down and pecking his lips lightly. He smirked nastily at her, "Love you", In which all she could do was mumble a 'love you' Back and scurry back inside; feeling disheartened once more.

As soon as Rae followed Archie into Chop's and into the living room, the eyes of Izzy, Johnny, Brogan, Tasha and Chop landed on her. Izzy took one look at the state Rae was in and knew the proceedure - run Rae a hot shower and get some spare PJs Rae kept there in the spare room. Rae spent a good half an hour in the shower, the water scolding but cleansing. She let the warmth wash over her, it were as if it were washing away all her dirt and old skin.

Once she felt and actually was clean, she shut the shower off, dried herself, put on the PJs and left for the kitchen, downstairs - where everyone was just polishing off supper. Just a freshly done mug of tea at her regular place at the table, a request. Izzy sat next to Rae's chair, finishing the remainders of her supper. But what Rae noticed was that Johnny sat opposite Archie, usually he'd be glued to his side. But then she noticed that Brogan was in Archie's regular place and put two and two together before then taking her seat at the table. Tasha sat at the head of the table, mug of milky coffee in one hand and flicking the pages of Vogue with the other. Chop sat at the other end of the table, head burried as he wolfed down his supper - one rule all the gang knew was not to talk to Chop whilst he was eating. As Rae absentmindenly took in where everyone sat, she couldn't help but wish Chloe and Finn were in the seats of Brogan and Tasha - no disrespect to the two girls but it just looked odd.

And there was that dreaded feeling that pulled at Rae's chest whenever she thought of Finn.

Izzy then smiled at Rae, "I made y' a new cuppa as the other went cold", Rae tiredly smiled, she was so tired it was even effort to smile, "Thanks, Iz", Izzy then smiled an ok and turned back to her conversation with Archie and Tasha. Rae stared at her hot drink before her, stirring it with the teaspoon that originally laid neatly beside the mug.

As she stirred the hot tea round and round, she earwigged into Johnny's conversation with Brogan. Even in low tones, you could hear the attraction and care he had for her in his voice. Now, Rae had never had a problem with Brogan and in fact; did like her. She made Johnny happy, and he made Brogan happy. That is, when they were both sober. They were both bad dicks when they were drunk, especially to each other. Couldn't live with each other, couldn't live without each other – couldn't win.

Rae then avertered her hearing onto Archie's and Tasha's conversation which consisted of talks about the new series of Friends. Tasha saying how shit the show had gone, and Archie arguing with how Tasha just didn't get the jokes. Rae smiled inwardly at how defensive Archie could get. She swug some of her tea and relaxed – soaking in the atmosphere.

Despite that not all of the gang were here, some of her closest still were. People that cared about her were here with her. Conversation flowed and buzzed, along with happiness. Rae drank in the fact this could be her last time of doing this for quite a while, but if that was so then she was more than happy.

Rae then watched as Johnny had draped an arm over the back of Brogan's chair and his hand sneakily played with her hair that spilled over her shoulder, their little touches always went unnoticed by the rest of the gang - but Rae always caught them. Johnny thought he had everybody fooled with "Brogan The Beard" As she and Archie called poor Brogan, but those two weren't stupid - especially Rae who would watch the hairs on Johnny's arm raise whenever Archie sat closely next to the confused lad. Yes, Johnny was still very much confused - even down the line of a two month relationship. Oh! And yes, you read right; Johnny and Brogan were together - very much so. Evidentally, Johnny did fancy Brogan and did very much care for her but Archie was the elephant in the room. Although it had been two months since Johnny and Brogan had gotten together and Archie came to terms that he needed to find another; the boys couldn't help but share sly touches and secret glances - those speaking and meaning more than a seedy affair ever could. Rae couldn't help but envy the two, envy the innoncence of their touches and glances - that being her and Finn not so long ago.

Although everyone had work/college the following morning, the gang stayed the night. Johnny and Brogan took the couch, Chop and Izzy in their room - Izzy officially moved in a month beforehand - Tasha stayed in her little room Chop and Izzy had set up and Archie and Rae took the other spare room with the double bed that the two and Finn used to always share.

But Archie and Rae didn't sleep, they couldn't. Rae's brain too wired over Finn, and Archie's brain too wired over the small fact that just a thin layer of carpet and floorboard kept Johnny and Brogan away. Through the darkness, Archie whispered "Rae?" "Mmm?" She sleepily mumbled, her body was sleepy but her mind wasn't. "Y' awake?" He whispered back in which she whispered "Yeh", they both then took this as a cue to turn on their backs and lay closely next to each other and stared at the dimly lit ceiling above. Then, silence.

Rae then spoke lowly, the guest room was far from the other rooms so there was no point in whispering, "What are y' thinking about?" Archie replied in the same low tones, a lie seeping through his words, "Nowt... Y'?" She sighed, "Same", "Rae... Why were y' cryin' before?" She froze. What was the right answer? The real answer or a lie? This was her best friend and yet she was about to lie to him. Friendship or no friendship, her secret was too much a dark story to tell. So, she replied with "Just felt a bit shit, tha's all. Why?" He shook his head "No reason, just don't like seeing y' upset tha's all", "Fair enough".

The room fell silent. Rae fully well knew Archie knew. She didn't know how, but she knew. She could feel it, which is why she breathed "Y'know, don't y'?" There was a pause. A dreaded pause.

He then nodded, "Yeh", and Rae grew silent. He knew, despite him being her best friend, he still didn't know the real her. The one that laid in bed by herself of a night, the person she became at two in the morning, the weaker version of herself... The one who was shagging her best friend's boyfriend. Now, he knew and she was terrified at the thought of him looking at her in a different light.

But what surprised Rae next is that he turned his head to look at her and she did the same with him, the outline of his features faintly apparent against the darkness; his golden brown irises still bright underneath the moonlight that poured through the blinds. He then spoke, "But y' still my best friend and I still love y' and well it'll be alright in the end... I promise", She smiled in which he opened his arms, she took it and slid into his arms; her head snuggled into his chest as his arms wrapped around her in a comforting embrace. He kissed the top of her head.

After a few moments of cuddling Rae then asked, "'Ave y' sorted it out with Johnny?" In which Archie shook his head, Rae then frowned, "Why?" "It's complicated", She then cocked an eyebrow, "'Ow? Y' love 'im, he loves y' and it's tha' simple", He scoffed, she had no idea, "It's not though Rae I ju-" He cut himself off, sighing before continuing, "Y' don't understand", She looked up at him, utter confusion upon her face, "Understand wha'? Bein' in love?" "Out", He corrected her, in which Rae, once again, frowned before asking, "Out? Wha' the fuck y' on about, 'out'?" Archie then stayed silent for a moment as he swallowed the oncoming tears before continuing, "Out of love, Rae, as the person I love doesn't love me back. Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet. Act 1 Scene 1 ".

And with that, it was his turn to crumble.

Archie didn't sleep, unlike Rae who was in a deep sleep within ten minutes after their heart to heart, so he decided college would be a definite miss - despite exams coming up. Archie sat with his legs outstretched whilst he lounged on the couch as he did messing around on his acoustic guitar, morning television playing lowly as background noise and the other members - all bar Finn - sat round the living room as they practiced some new acoustic material and tossed ideas about. Despite the hum of the boys' voices and the low drone of the tv, Archie couldn't help but notice how quiet his house had become since his nan died just over three weeks ago - the pain and grief still fresh to Archie whenever he would smell palma violet sweets or whenever he would hear What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. His nan had died in her sleep and he was the one who found her, he went to wake her for her morning cup of tea when he got no response. But what Archie found strange was that he didn't freak or scream, he simply walked slowly backwards and sat on her old and ratted chair that sat in the corner of her room - where she used to think - and let it sink in. Of course it hurt but it wasn't completely unexpected.

"... Don't be such a faggot", Chop boomed, bringing Archie back to the room. He frowned at Chop's innocent but insenstive choice of wording - obviously not realising there was a homosexual in his presence. Well, two techinically as Johnny was taking Finn's place for the day as Finn cancelled - as usual.

Archie furiously put down his guitar and shot to his feet, in which Al and Chop frowned at Archie's weird behaviour but Johnny stayed neutral. Chop then piped up, "S'up, Archers?" Archie coughed awkwardly before using the excuse of needing a cup of tea and didn't anyone want one - in which nobody did. Archie swiftly left the living room and headed for the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. He stared out the long, landscape window that overlooked Stamford; deaf to the footsteps that were heard behind him. He only suddenly regained his hearing when Johnny snapped, "Wha' the fuck are y' doin'?" In which Archie sharply turned and frowned, "Wha'?" Johnny, brow furrowed in anger, spat as he continued, "Wha' are y' actually playin' at?" The pair spoke in low tones, making sure the other two on the otherside of the wall didn't overhear. Archie rolled his eyes before moving over to the three small, cream and round tubs that were on one of the kitchen units and labelled: COFFEE.

TEA.

SUGAR.

Archie got a mug out from the cupboard above, placed it upon the worktop, took out a teabag and dropped into the mug.

Archie froze as Johnny spoke after a moment of silence, "I 'eard y' asked Tash out", Archie then shrugged it off, taking a teaspoon out the cutlery drawer, "I may 'ave, wha's it t' y'?" He scooped out a spoonful of sugar before dropping it into the mug, along with the spoon. Johnny then tutted, "Don't be a dick, Arch, y'know s'xactly wha' it is t' me. Look, I dunno wha' y' doin', playin' Tash like tha' bu-" Archie then turned, facing Johnny as he snapped, "Wha', like y' are with Brogan?" Johnny was lost for words, unable to speak. His brain then formed a sentence as he responded with, "Now tha's different, if y' remember Archie; am not fully gay. As where y' are, y' just 'aven't told anybody yet", "And it's gonna stay tha' way", Archie retaliated. Archie then folded his arms as he continued, "I just don't understand why y' doin' this to both Brogan and I, it's ju-" Johnny then butted in, "Doin' wha', Archie? Dating someone I actually care about?" That cut Archie, left him speechless. He then croaked, "So, y' sayin' y' don't care about me?" Johnny then shook his head, quickly glancing over his shoulder to make sure the door was shut behind him, "No, I never meant it like tha'. I just meant tha' wha' y' doin' t' Tash is wrong, she's a lovely girl and doesn't deserved to be fucked about, man. Be a dick t' me all y' want but don't take it out on Ta-" "Oh, wha' like y' were t' me?" Johnny then glowered, defeat playing upon his demeanour, "Am not gonna win this one am I?" Archie then shook his head, "Nope".

A moment or two passed before Johnny scoffed, "Wha'ever", And went to leave when Archie spat, his tone venom-like, "Just know Johnny, she'll never be me", In which Johnny then stormed out, Archie mouthed "Fuck", Before he followed Johnny, shouting after him as he watched Johnny leaving the house completely, "Yeh, go on! Fuck off and run away, like always y' spineless little prick!" Archie's harsh words were met by a slam of the front door. Archie then exhaled, reminding himself to breathe and to calm down. He entered the living room to see a bewildered Chop and Al staring back at him, a silence over came them - the only noise to be heard was a mid-morning news report. That is, until Chop piped up, "Is this cause I didn't want tha' cup o' tea?" Which earned a smack across the head from Al.


	33. Chapter 33

Rae was like a walking zombie, getting drunk the night before college was nothing new to her but she was still not used to sitting in a two hour lecture whilst feeling as if someone had pissed on her soul. Although her fry up this morning that Linda made was nice, it only sorted her out half way through her lecture about the quantitative methods to anaylzing businesses and such, she needed something much more greasier, thicker and more fulfilling – she needed a Sally's.

But deciding not wanting to eat on her own, she decided to pop round to Chloe's - as she knew Izzy was spending the day with Tasha and any of the boys wouldn't do as she needed female company and well she barely knew Brogan; so Chloe was the only option. She hadn't really spoke much with Chloe, the guilt like an invisible barrier between her and Chloe that would stop the pair from getting too close - the guilt felt by both parties.

Now, out of every friend Chloe knew; Rae was the only one she would ever let visit her in her house. Her and Rae had an unwritten rule that whenever Rae would go round, she would just walk in and go upstairs. The odd thing was that Chloe's house was strangely quiet that afternoon, the only sounds were to be heard were the tv coming from the living room; meaning Chloe's mum wasn't home and her dad was passed out somewhere.

Which was exactly right, as when Rae popped her head into the living room Chloe's dad was passed out on the long couch and Janie was sat in front of the TV - doll under her arm and a bottle of juice on her lap. Rae shook her head at the body on the couch, his careless parenting still a surprise to Rae. Rae came away from the living room door and headed straight for the stairs and up to Chloe's bedroom. Rae entered the room to see Chloe sat on her cream carpet in front of her body-length mirror with a towel round around her, her hair soaked and currently putting mascara on. Chloe frowned as she caught a glimpse of Rae in her mirror, she turned round and breathed, "Rae?" Rae gave a shy smile, "Iya", Chloe scoffed a laugh, confused, "Wha... Wha' y' doin' 'ere?" Rae shrugged, "Nowt, just thought I'd come round and see y'", Chloe nodded, happiness replacing her confusion as her eyes lit up at her friend's gesture, "Yeh! Right, come sit down", In which Rae took a place upon Chloe's bed.

Once both got over the first awkward hello, they grew silent and Chloe turned back to her mirror; continuing with her mascara. Rae watched her with admiration, she could've sworn Chloe got more beautiful every time they saw each other. To fill the silence, Rae asked, "So, where y' off to?" Chloe shrugged, "Nowhere, just thought I'd get a shower and stuff", Rae sighed, "Fair enough", And once more; silence.

Not wanting to beat around the bush, Rae then asked; picking at her nail beds with nerves, "Listen, Chlo, since y' not doin' anythin' I were just wondering whether y' wanted t' come the caf' wi' me? I'll pay", Chloe smiled inwardly, pausing for a moment but then cleared her throat and continued with her mascara; trying not to sound too touch by Rae's gesture, "Yeh but on one condition", Rae frowned, off Rae's frown Chloe smirked and turned to Rae, "Y' do me hair", Rae then playfully rolled her eyes, but the two couldn't brush off the feeling of pure happiness that overwhelmed the two as they knew deep down - everything was going to be ok.

Although Chloe and Rae original intentions were the cafe; they decided to go the pub as they hadn't been in so long - except this time they brought Janie. Despite it being March, the icy winds nipped at the girls skin and they huddled together as they made their way to the pub - noses and cheeks a flushed pink due to the bitter winds. Of course Rae kept a bit of distance from Chloe as Chloe still made her feel a resentment for her body; even with an outfit as simple as a big and cosy cream jumper that swallowed her figure, navy skinny jeans, cute little black ankle boots and an oversized grey tweed long-lengthed jacket.

Considering it was only four on a Monday afternoon; the pub was crowded - but luckily their regular table was empty. It looked lonely, untouched - as if every punter in the pub knew that the table belonged to the group and it was off-limits. Chloe and Janie sat on the bench seat, shedding their coats and giving their orders to Rae - one coke and one snakebite - Rae wove in-n-out of the crowd and over to the bar, trying to waver down the barman and not realising who had his back to her.

She recognized the smell then, slowly but surely, his stance and then the wisps of hair that poked through his red and royal blue bobble hat that slouched lazily on his head. Of all the fucking people...

She felt as if her heart was literally about to smash her rib cage, just as she was about to grab the barman's attention and order; a passerby accidentally knocked into her which caused her to nudge Finn. He turned and frowned at her, "I-I'm sorry", She mumbled, suddenly a bag of nerves. He nodded, "It's alright", Taking a swig of his beer before he turned back to his conversation with his, what she presumed to be, work friends.

That's it? No, 'it's nice to see you'? Just a simple 'it's alright' and then complete ignorance? Then again, what was she expecting... A big hug and a friendly chat? No chance. What the bleeding hell was he doing here? And what was he doing without the gang? That fucking snake...

Rae decided that if he could be ignorant then so could she and decided to best keep seeing Finn's stupidly beautiful face quiet - time with Chloe rare and moments alone with her important. After a ten minute struggle, she finally flagged down the barman and ordered the drinks; she then made her way back over to the table to see two more figures fill up seats - luckily both in the form of Izzy and Tash. Rae flashed a smile and a 'Y'alright?' As she placed the drinks down. She then leaned over and give Izzy a one armed hug, and then Tash before taking a seat and asking, "Wha' y' two doin' 'ere?" Her voice a pitch higher and more strained. Izzy, oblvious, shrugged and smiled, "Came down 'ere wi' Tash and well saw Chloe and yeh!" Rae nodded and caught Chloe's eye; who gave a sympathetic smile; but Rae shrugged it off and tried not to the let the bitter taste of disappointment take over; trying to replace it with happiness and good thoughts as the more the girls the better as the feeling of normality that came from it being just the girls with no drama was something Rae had craved to feel for a long time.

But then she caught his eye from across the room as his brown iris's burned a hole in her temple and realised she was never going to feel normal, not with him around. When was this stupid game of cat and mouse going to end?

By the look of his smirk and the plotting in his eyes; never.

As time grew on the more table grew full, all bar a certain moody lad - who left as soon as Chop turned up, in fear of being invited over. It was getting to just past seven and everyone was in the stage of merry; currently arguing over what name Izzy and Chop should name the baby - this being brought up after Janie asking whether she could feel Izzy's bump. Chop boomed, "Right, no as the dad am tellin' y' we're namin' 'im Ben; if he's a boy and if he's a girl then Rebecca", In which Izzy piped up, "Ignore 'im", Before smacking his knee. Chop rolled his eyes, "Alright then, wha' y' think we should call 'im?" Izzy then grew lost in thought before answering in a daze, "I like Thomas for a boy and Darcy-Lou for a girl", In which Chop scoffed and rolled his eyes before the gang - excluding Janie who just played with a straw - then began arguing over what names they thought were best. Tasha said Harry and Leigh-Anne, Archie said David and Natalie, Johnny said Mark and Anna, Chloe said Louis and Jodie, Al said Joseph and Evie and Rae said Eddie and Jade. The gang's arguing came to a halt when Janie said something completely irrelevant that it made the gang fall to bits laughing and move on to another topic.

A few minutes went by when Brogan entered the pub, slithering through the crowd and over to the gang; giving Johnny a kiss, throwing around a hello to everyone and taking place in the empty seat next to Johnny. Rae felt Archie tense slightly beside her, Rae spoke lowly and out of ear shot, "Y' spoke t' 'im?" Her and Archie's eyes landed on the happy couple aka Johnny and Brogan, in which Archie scoffed, "Wha' d'y' think?" Before taking a swig of his pint and involving himself in Izzy and Al's conversation about some new TV program.

Rae's eyes fell on Al and Izzy, noticing how close the two were but also catching Chop's bitter glares towards the two and always wondered whether it was Al who was the father of Izzy's baby... Rae pushed it into box number 6 - not needing another scoop of bullshit in her backpack as it was already weighing heavily on her shoulder's.

"Rae, Rae seriously y' deaf or somethin'?" Snapped Chloe with a slight scoff hinted with a laugh. Rae shook her head, she could've sworn she heard Finn's voice from the night of the "Sexy party", She then pulled herself back to the present and asked, "Wha's up?" "Am gonna drop Janie off and then we're going The Basement, if y' up for it", In which Rae, despite being already stupidly hungover, gave a nod - which the gang took as a cue to get their bits together and head out.

As they shrugged on their coats and made sure they had everything, they rose to their feet and headed for the exit. Chloe, Izzy and Chop were in front, followed by Johnny and Brogan, Archie, Tasha and Janie, Rae and Al fell to the back - the others in full conversation but the two at the back walked in silence. Rae looked up as she felt Al's hand land gently on her lower back, "Y' alright? Y' been quiet all night", He asked with a frown. She nodded, in which he then asked, "Y' stayin' in ours tonight or y' mam's?" She shrugged, "Probably our's", He then draped an arm around her and nodded, "Cool", And then a pause.

That is until Chop began belting the chorus of Shoot You Down, in which slowly one by one the whole gang joined in - making them feeling seventeen all over again.

_It took Rae back to the summer of '97 and the gang - just the original six and not the whopping ten they were currently in - had decided a spontenous trip to Skegness beach - why Skegness Rae would never fucking know. It was just after Chop had passed his driver's test and it was a hot day, so why the fuck not? Despite being cramped due to the beach things they were taking and the sweltering heat from the blazing sun; they were happy. Rae, Archie, Finn and Chloe were smushed in the back and Izzy and Chop were in the front. _

_The four in the back swigged a beer each as were the pair up front stayed sober, Chop kept away for now as he was driving; and Izzy not touching the amber liquid as Chop wasn't and she felt mean. As it was a simpler and more innocent time; Rae and Finn sat in the middle and side-by-side with Chloe on Finn's left and Archie on Rae's right - as it should've been. It was a time were secret glances were shared and snide touches went unnoticed - a time present Rae ached for. _

_As soon as the first chords of Shoot You Down were heard; Chloe protested it to be turned off as it "Didn't 'alf get 'er down" But the other's shrugged it off and happily sung the lyrics at the top of their lungs. Finn turned to a sulking Chloe and tried his best to cheer her up, but after a few failed attempts - he turned to Rae, slid an arm around her shoulders and joined in the screeching choir._

Although Rae couldn't go back now and there was no use in moping over the memories; she couldn't help but think of it all as a waste. As without Finn the gang wasn't complete, without Finn there was no one to argue over music with and as cheesy as it sounded; without Finn there was no Rae.

God, she hated herself for the way she fucked things up sometimes.

The following morning Rae was in therapy, discussing about why Rae had found herself writing back in her diary again. She gave a simple shrug and said, "Wanted t' give it another go", In which Brian asked, "And has it helped?" Which Rae couldn't answer, not yet as she had only been re-writing in it for a few days - she needed a week before she could determine whether it was best to get back into the old habit.

It was a miserable morning both outside and in, a grey cloud dampened all of Rae's spirits - not in a depressive way but more of a "I'm fucking hungover and need my bed" Kind of way. But, as a promise to Kester; she solidered on and went to her regular Tuesday appointment with Brian.

He could see by the sluggish demeanour that Rae displayed; he needed to be careful and ask gentle questions. Brian sighed, folding his arms and sitting back as he asked, "And 'ow are y' and Al?" Rae nodded, "We're good", It was Brian's turned to nod before he asked, "Y' seen 'im today?" Rae nodded, once more, "Yeh, he's outside actually".

Al took a drag of his cigarette, his exhales coming out in a little cloud before him. Al was now sat outside the hospital, on a bench in the smoker's area to be exact. The rain was now coming down a lot heavier than before, Al was grateful for the shelter above, protecting his mop from the miserable weather. He watched as morning traffic drove past, the wheels against the wet tar to be the only sound and comfort.

Al grew wrapped into the silence, ever since dating Rae and being friends with the gang, he never noticed how much he never actually got time alone; until he was alone and how nice it felt. Well he thought was alone, until a voice called over his shoulder, "Al?" Al then turned to see Chop, who was stood at the hospital exit and raising a questioning eyebrow as to why Al was here.

Al exhaled some of his smoke before then saying, "Alright, man? What are y' doin' here?" Chop then joined Al on the bench, "Just come down with Iz for one of 'em stupid antenatal classes", Al nodded as he took in the information, taking a drag before exhaling and saying, "Ah right, 'ow were it?" "Fuckin' borin'", Chop quipped with a smirk. Al returned Chop's smirk before tensing as Chop then asked, "What are y' 'ere for?"

He let the question hang in the air, his response on the tip of his tongue as he debated whether to tell a truth or a lie. Al then scolded himself, why did he need to lie? He wasn't ashamed of Rae or why he was here. So, Al decided the truth was the best as that way he didn't need to keep track on any lies he had told.

"Oh, urm Rae had therapy and she needed a lift so", Al shrugged coolly, taking a drag of his cancer stick. Chop then mumbled a 'Fair enough' As he fished his lighter out of his jacket pocket, took a pre-rolled rollie from his behind his ear and cradled it from the wind as he lit it; before then taking a satisifed drag.

The pair fell into a silence as they watched the traffic before them, their drags of their own form of nicotine and cars driving past to be the only sound. Chop flicked the ash head of his rollie before asking, "How long y' been 'ere for then?" "About an hour", Al breathed back through an exhale, he always smoked like chimney when he was nervous or whenever being questioned about a, somewhat, touchy subject. Chop then nodded, "Yeh same", the pair then fell into another silence.

Aside from one drunken night out a few months back, this had been the longest and most sober conversation Chop and Al had ever had. Al, despite being older than Chop, was not one for words; especially when it came down to people he disliked. Well, he didn't dislike Chop; just didn't take a fancy to him - his loud mouth personality sometimes too overbearing. Al watched as a leaf drifted down from a, almost, bare tree branch and onto the tar of the car park - although it coming into Spring, the trees were still bare. You couldn't deny Spring was a beautiful season, leaves changing from a firey and golden orange to a budding green and pastel pink. It was that time of year where it would be jumper weather of a morning but then agonizing heat-stroke weather by twelve PM.

In attempts to make effort and conversation, Al asked, "So, where is Izzy?" "Just through there with Finn, needed a wee or summat", Al felt excitement kick at his chest at the thought of seeing Finn. He loved in the sadistic way how he could make Finn wriggle and squirm with just a simple look - he loved the power he had over him. Speaking of Izzy, she and a laughing Finn exited the hospital - Finn's child-like laughter coming to an abrupt halt as soon as his eyes landed on Al's. Izzy beamed at Al, "Y' alright, Al! Wha' y' doin' 'ere?" Al shrugged, flicking away his cigarette, "Just wi' Rae", Finn tried to appear not too concerned but Al caught the flash of sudden interest in Finn's eyes and couldn't help but let a smile creep onto his lips - Al was onto everything Finn did when it concerned Rae and it made Al piss-himself-happy the way Al had also control over Rae and could take her away from Finn. Izzy frowned, concern upon her brow, "Why? She alright?" Al's gaze slowly pulled away from Finn and back onto Izzy, sending her a reasurring smile, "Yeh, just got therapy", Izzy's face softened with relief, before she then piped up, "Oh thank God, well listen it's been nice seein' y' but we've gotta go as am late for lunch wi' me dad and mum, so we'll see y' later yeh? And give me love t' Rae", Izzy said as Chop rose to his feet and gave a head nod good-bye.

Chop, Izzy and Finn then departed from Al; who kept his eyes on Finn the entire time. He watched as the three walked over to Chop's car and Finn's scooter. He scoffed as he wasn't fooled by Finn putting on the act of caring friend, he wasn't there for Izzy at all as it was a known fact that Rae had therapy of a Tuesday and it always finished at half 11 aka Al knew that Finn was hoping to catch even just a glimpse of Rae. Al then sat back and folded his arms, still not taking his eyes off the three across the car park as they said their goodbyes. Izzy and Chop climbed into Chop's car whilst Finn mounted his scooter. Finn then caught Al's stare, in which Al gave a wink and a smirk; in which Finn looked down timidly as he threw on his helmet, put in the keys in the ignition and kick started the bike before driving away with Al's stare burning into him the entire time.

As it were written that Al had full control over both Rae and Finn; why'd you think Rae called it quits on Finn and her?

You really didn't think she actually wanted to, did you?


	34. Chapter 34 Stephen King kinda bullshit

_"I like ducks", Spoke a familiar but strange sounding voice; pulling Finn back to reality. He frowned as he looked to his right to see a familiar face... He knew him, but couldn't quite place him. He was a small lad with strange yellow hair, a distant look in his eyes and chalk like skin with purple shadows that looked like two faint bruises and made the poor lad look as if he had battled a life-long addiction to coccaine... Then again, maybe he had. One thing that stood out, that appealed to and drew in Finn the most, was that the lad wore two hats... Who on earth would need two hats?_

_"Sorry?" Finn asked, in which the measly-looking boy pointed to the pond before the two before saying, "Them, those things. I like them", He said, in a matter-of-fact like tone. Fucking hell, what was in that joint Finn had smoked earlier? He looked around, confusion on his brow - why was he on the bench that overlooked the big pond in the hospital grounds? Why was he there? He looked down at himself and notice that he wore... His scruffs? He then noticed the twirled bits of fabric wrapped round his left wrist... No, he hadn't done it again; had he?_

_Finn looked up and at his fellow bench friend, tuning in to catch his last words of "... Like ducks?" Finn just simply shrugged, suddenly feeling extremely sleepy. As his eyelids grew heavy, Finn slowly looked around; scanning his surroundings - a few dazed patients morbidly wandered with slouched postures and comatosed faces. It relaxed him, weirdly. Finn let out a yawn and frowned, "Why am I so tired?" But he got no response. He then looked to see he was talking to an empty bench, where had the two hats lad gone? He then quickly looked around - the grounds were empty... Surely people in such a zombie-like state couldn't clear off that fast? He jumped when he felt a large hand land on his shoulder, the iron-like grip enough to kick his brain into gear and his sleepy demeanour no longer on display. Curling his lip, he looked from the hand and then up to who it belonged to and it was... Kester? "Kester, wha' are y'-" In which Kester cut Finn off by giving him a frown and screaming in his face, "Finn! Just stop it, am only tryin' to help!" Before shouting over his shoulder, "HURRY UP, I CAN'T HOLD HIM!" In which Finn bellowed, "Wha' are y' on about I-" And he was cut off, once more, by a stinging sensation in his left shoulder. _

_And then, darkness..._

Finn's eyes shot open, his vision to be greeted by a dark room... His room, to be exact. He lay on his stomach in bed, his sheets tangled between his legs and covered just his lower half - his exposed torso slightly damp with cold sweat. He glanced around before lifting his head to see the occupied space beside him - oh yeah Chloe was staying over. Once he realised that the past few images in his brain were _**just **_in his brain; he relaxed slightly but still felt quite jittery. Finn glanced at his bedside clock to see it was not long passed one in the morning. So, he decided to stealthily climb out of bed and creep out of his room; before then heading for the kitchen and straight over to the cup and glass cupboard. Grabbing a glass, he then put it under the tap and poured himself a refreshing cold glass of water before leaning against the sink and taking a long gulp. He then scolded himself, still angry he was having those night terrors - it had been five years since it happened. Everyone else had let it go, so why couldn't he?

If you hadn't guessed, Finn was a mental - as Rae called it. Flash backs of his "Dark days" From when he was fourteen crept into his mind every time he slept. Why? He just couldn't understand. See the difference between Finn and Rae is that Finn never told anybody about his hospital days - his mother always used the excuse that he was sent away for the six week summer holidays to his aunt's as punishment for being suspended from school.

And Finn still used that excuse today whenever the gang would bring up that summer... Never quite remembering why they couldn't place Finn's face in their memories - in which Finn would remind them of the boring hell he went through. Hell? Yes. Boring? Not quite. Well, not unless you count therapy sessions with Danny and Tix of a Wednesday - they were the most boring and pathetic things. Pointless, rather. Yes, even before Rae the dynamic duo of Danny and Tix were patients and were both Finn's right-hand pals.

Speaking of Tix, she was only the one person Finn could spill everything to and she wouldn't judge. Hence why Finn currently found himself doing a quick change of clothes, shrugging on his jacket and heading off in to the night in search of Tix.

Stamford at 1:30 in the morning was eerily still, the only thing keeping you company were your footsteps and the guidance of the blinking streetlights above. But Finn liked it. He liked the lonliness and peace. Finn shrugged his hands into his jacket pockets and took his time as he walked down Green Lane, the temptation to get a portion of chips strong as the flickering lights of the chippy reeled him in - but he kept his head down and continued his walk.

It was an icy and cloudy night, the silver and bruised-like clouds wrapped around the large moon; making it appear faint and not like it's usually oversized and bright self. Finn liked the moon, more than the sun. There was a saying Archie always used to say whenever he, Rae and Finn would go on midnight walks, "The sun sees your body, but the moon sees your soul", And it engraved itself into Finn's brain. He always had been a night person, never one for the daylight - earning the nickname Dracula.

The further Finn walked, the further he could feel a weird energy behind him - almost as if someone were following him. Almost as if he could feel the heat from someone else's skin radiate onto his own. But he just pegged his nervy-like state down his night terror earlier, despite the feeling of his eyes burning into the back of his head.

"I saw Finn earlier", Spoke Al as he and Rae lazed around in the living room, Al sat on the armchair with his legs drapped over the arm of the chair; whilst Rae laid upon the long couch with a blanket tucked around her - like a cucoon. Rae paused for a moment, unsure of whether to answer or to leave it - his words a trap. She decided to shrug away his edgy tone and simply answer, "Did y'? When?" He shrugged, "At the hospital", Now Rae was interested, she looked over and frowned; forgetting to not care, "Wha'? Why?" "Relax. He's sound, he were just wi' Izzy and Chop as Izzy 'ad a baby class", Tension faltered away from Rae's shoulders, in which she then nodded, "Oh" Before then snuggling back down and turning her attention back to the tv.

Al glanced from the tv to Rae, the gears in his brain turning - how could he make her sweat this time? The words then spilled from his mouth, almost as if the venom came naturally, "Why d'y' care?" He pressed, teasing. She then shifted slightly, growing uncomfortable under his scrutiny, "I don't... Were just curious", But obviously her lack of eye contact and suddenly squirming gave her away, it was all too easy for Al. There was a pause, Al downed the remainders of his brandy before then saying, "Y'know 'ow I feel about him, Rae", He threatened and she knew what was to come, so, she argued, "Yeh, I know", "So, why did y' ask why he were at the hospital?" He spat, in which she snapped, "Cause I was just curious!" He then shot to his feet, stalked over to her and bent down; his words dripped in poision and she felt her blood turn cold, "Don't y' ever fuckin' speak to me like tha' again... Dirty fuckin' _**slut**_", The tv may have been the only source in the room, but it wasn't enough to darken the fire in Al's eyes.

He then sniggered in her face before rising to his feet and swiftly leaving. Once she knew it was safe, she held the blankets tighter to her chest. She didn't cry, in fact she didn't feel remotely sad or hurt - just frightened.

"Hi, Tixie", Finn breathed as he sat on the damp grass, in front of the large and beautifully carved grave.

_Tabothia "Tix" Bradley._  
_7.2.80 - 4.12.96 _  
_Daughter. Friend. Loved._  
_"We may have lost our little girl,_  
_but heaven gained an angel."_

Was engraved on the marble headstone, Finn always loved the quote at the bottom - so simple yet perfectly put. Now, usually Finn would be filling Tix in on everything but instead he just sat there. He outstretched one leg and bent the other; rested his chin upon his knee as he stared the grave before him - lapping up the silence. He began to pick at some damp grass beneath his fingertips before sighing, unsure of where to start.

And there was the vibe again.

Just to set his mind at ease, he glanced around to see nothing but headstones and trees. He then turned his attention back onto the grave; repositioning his chin on his knee. He then simply breathed out as he lowered his gaze towards the ground, "I love 'er, Tix", He then reaverted his gaze back onto the grave and saying, "I really fuckin' love 'er and I-" He cut himself off, sharply looking around as he swore he could've heard a piece of bark or a twig snap...

Probably just a squirrel or something stupid as he was alone, he had to be - no one else could get in bar him and the guard as the guard was a family friend of Finn's and let Finn be an acceptance to going in to visit after hours. Well, he thought it was a squirrel until he heard another twig snap. He shot to his feet and looked around, but yet again; came back with nothing. He then scoffed and turned, looking down at the grave and jokingly quipping, "Fuckin' Stephen King shit or wha'?" He then took one last glance and felt all the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he saw the shadow of a tall man across the graveyard.

Pushing all fear aside, he trudged ahead - in which the looming figure turned and walked off. Finn didn't know why, but he needed to follow the figure. Finn quickened his pace as did the figure, the figure led him into the wooded part to the graveyard. Despite the sudden darkening of his surroundings, Finn followed the figure, climbing over branches and careful with his footing - to catch this dark stranger now his mission. Now in a jog - replicating the dark figure. As they grew further and further into the eeiry and gothic woods, Finn's determination grew as did his pulse and heartbeat - he needed to catch the culprit who he knew had been stalking him. He needed to know who the fucked up dickhead was. The chase was on, Finn tripped every so often as he pigeon-toed feet made him run like Bambi on ice - the only source of light coming from the moon above making it a lot more difficult to see than given. He was almost there, he almost had him; was in touching distance - if he could just reach out and gra-

_**PWHACK!**_

Finn fell backwards and hid the damp ground with a hard thud - the wind being knocked out of him as well as consciousness.

Very Stephen King indeed.

Finn woke dazed... And, strangely, in his own bed. He then shot upright, breathing heavily as he looked around - eyes wide and breathing erratic. Chloe, who was currently sat on the ottoman and painting her toenails, looked at him with a frown, "Y' alright?" In which Finn breathed, "'ow... 'ow did I get 'ome?" In which Chloe cocked an eyebrow, "Y' wha'?" He then looked around as he frantically stuttered, "Last night I-I-I was in the graveyard an-an-and I fell and now I-" He cut himself off, gulping as he looked around - how the hell did he get home? Chloe shook her head, frowning, "Finn, wha' y' on about? Y've been 'ome all night, y' were probably just 'avin' a bad dream", He then shook his head, "No, it we-were real. I know it were!" Chloe rolled her eyes before continuing to do her toes, "Babe, all nightmares feel like tha'", He then frowned, snapping, "If tha's true then why is me 'ead sore!?" Without looking up, she nonchalantly said as she blew the nailpaint on her toes dry, "Y' banged it on the bedside table in y' sleep last night", He then took a moment before asking with a scoff and harder frown, "Did I?" In which she simply nodded, she then rested her cheek on her knee as she looked at him - whilst he currently had his face in his hands.

She said nothing as she watched him absorb it all in.

Surely it couldn't have been a nightmare within a nightmare? Surely Finn's subconscious wasn't completely insane?

Speaking of all things insane; Tasha's place was like a mad house that morning - everyone getting ready for the day ahead. As Tasha downed the remainders of her coffee, Chop hopped passed as he tried to get on his shoe with half a piece of toast between his teeth - which Izzy took as she swooped passed him. It wasn't too long before they were all wrapped up, ready and out the door. Tasha gave her goodbyes and swiftly left the front garden; on her regular journey to the hospital.

Chop and Izzy stopped at the bottom of the path and Chop turned to her, "Y' sure y' don't want me t' come with? I can take the day off", She rolled her eyes playfully at him, "Yeeees as I'll be with Finn and Jamie, so stop worrying yeh?" He then nodded before giving her a big cheesy grin and kissing her, "See y' at 'ome yeh?" In which she nodded before playfully pushing him out the garden, "Yes! Now bugger off before y' late!" In which he widened his eyes and realising how much time was getting on, "Shit, y' right!" He then called out as he jogged off, "LOVE YOU!" Which she couldn't help but giggle at before shouting, "You too!"

She watched as he grew smaller and smaller, until he disappeared around the corner. She gave out a content sigh and looked to the other end of the road before turning and heading towards the high street;

Which she got to in record timing, she found Finn and Jamie on the bench; outside the Sayer's. She greeted the pair with a grin, Finn exchanged the grin for a hug as he rose to his feet and welcomed her in a friendly embrace. She shared a simply high five with Jamie and began asking him how he was, before she then turned to Finn - who was currently frowning at something over his shoulder.

"Finn?" He then pulled his gaze away from whatever he was originally focused on and turned to her, "Yeh?" She giggled, "Wha' y' lookin' at?" "Nowt I thought I saw..." His voice then trailed off as he glanced over his shoulder once more before turning back to her and flashing her a reasurring smile, "Don't matter. Y' ready?" In which she nodded and the three began to walk. Finn then asked, "So, wha' y' thinkin' of gettin'?" Izzy shrugged, "I dunno, was thinkin' some pastels. Some blue, maybe lemon", He cocked an eyebrow, "But wha' if it's a girl?" Izzy then frowned, "Girls can wear blue", "Not if they look like a boy", She then tilted her head slightly in agreement, "Very true", In which the pair shared a laugh.

As the trio walked down the high street, Finn then caught glimpse of a pair of booties in a window and dragged the other two over in excitement. Whilst Jamie huffed with boredom and Izzy cooed over the booties; Finn caught glimpse of a familiar shadow in the glass of the window. He then sharply looked over his shoulder, his frown softened as he then saw Brogan a few meters away. Finn lightly knocked his hand against Izzy and nodded towards Brogan; who was now currently before them.

"I thought it was y' two!" Brogan spoke, her voice a little more faux-surprise than actual surprise - which kicked Finn's paranoia into high gear. His lack of sleep making him over sensitive to the little things, "Wha' y' doin' 'ere?" Izzy asked, in which Brogan shrugged, "Was just passin' through and was 'bout t' go see Archie when I saw Finn and 'ad t' check. So, 'ow are y'? 'Ow's the baby?" Izzy sighed, "Tiring but manageable", Brogan gave a sympathetic smile before asking, "An' 'ow's Chop?" Izzy beamed, "Yeh, he's good, yeh! 'ow's Johnny?" Brogan tried to cover the smile forming on her lips as she jokingly quipped, "Oh y' know wha' he's like, always in his own lil' world", She then glanced at Finn, who said not one single word. Feeling uncomfortable by the sudden hostility, Brogan took it as her cue to leave, "Well, listen I gotta go but it's been lovely seein' y' and I'll give y' a ring later", The girls shared a hug, Jamie waved goodbye and Finn just gave a tight lipped smile.

Brogan then scurried off but Finn didn't take his eyes off her as he watched her walk down the street, Izzy then piped up, "Aw, I love Brogan. It's always dead nice seein' 'er", Before turning back to the window. Finn then slowly said, his gaze still lingered on the back of Brogan's head, "Ye...ah... Lov...ely", He then stared a few more seconds before shrugging away the uneasy feeling that niggled away at his stomach and turning back to the window;

Pastel pink, white and blue lace now the occupent of his mind.

"'ere are, Archers", Brogan breathed as she sat a mug of milky coffee onto the counter in the bookshop, which Archie was currently working on. She then took a seat in the chair next to the desk, her fingers now curling around her own mug of coffee. He flashed her a thankful grin before then continuing with managing the book with the stock intake. Archie now had a part-time job in the book store, as the volunteer work was getting him nowhere.

As much as he loved working in the shop, it didn't half get boring - hence why Brogan was his company and entertainment for the day. She had not long got there but settled right in, whilst Archie did his business; she glanced around - aching to run her fingers over the spines of each book and randomly pick one to read, just out of pure curiosity.

She then widened her eyes as she remembered, "Ooh! Seen Iz, Finn and a little lad before", Without looking up, Archie asked, "Did y'?" She nodded, "Yeh, shoppin' fer baby clothes or summat. Finn seemed a bit... Off", She frowned. In which Archie scoffed, "Finn's always off", Not wanting to let it go, she shook her head, "No, it was different today. I mean, he didn't even say 'ello. Well, like I know Finn can be a bit... Well Finn but he just seemed in a right mard", Archie looked up, pouting with a frown before returning back to the book, "Probably 'ad a fight with Chlo", In which Brogan scoffed, "Yeh, probably", But she couldn't shake the feeling off. Now, although Brogan didn't really give a shit about pretty much anything and was easy-going - she was very much a people pleaser. She hated being disliked, would do anything to get anyone's approval; she was just that kind of girl. So, Finn's apparent dislike didn't half get on her tits.

She mentally swatted away images of Finn, asking Archie, "So, 'ow the date go with Tash?" He shrugged, "Alright, nice girl but we'll see 'ow it goes", Brogan rolled her eyes before giving him a look, in which he could actually feel; causing him to look up and frown, "Wha'?" She exhaled, placing her mug onto one of the coasters on the desk, "Tha's it? Just nice?" Archie cocked an eyebrow, "Well wha' did y' expect? I shagged 'er behind the woolworths?" Brogan widened her eyes, "No! Well, not in exactly those words but I were thinkin' more than just 'She's a nice girl'", Archie scoffed, "Well she is and it were a nice date but-" Brogan sat back, folding her arms and cutting him off, "Wha' bullshit y' gonna pull now?" He then gave her a look before turning back to the book, "Wha'ever, Brog. And anyway, it don't matter now", Brogan picked up her coffee and asked, "Why?" And began to take a sip, Archie then quipped, "Because apparently 'er and Al used t' sleep together and she still 'as feelin's for 'im", In which Brogan then spat her coffee everywhere.

Well shit the fucking bed.

Another girl Al has shagged and more fuel to the fire.

Marvellous.


End file.
